Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Old fashioned ads

A friend sent me an email with these old fashioned ads. You can click to enlarge. These were actual advertisements! My, how times have changed.

The witty dialog below each ad is mine.

In other words, just because she acts like a lady doesn't mean she isn't a whore, so protect your pecker.

I think what he's trying to say is 'Blow in her face and she'll blow in your crotch'.

Okay, so who's joining me on the tape worm diet???

How do you give a gift that says 'I really don't like you that much'? Gift wrapped cigarettes: the old fashioned equivalent to the fruitcake.

Lysol - its not just for cleaning toilets and floors anymore!

All this time you thought the secret to happiness was money, fame, and fortune.

Well, don't mind if I do!

In your "T-Zone", not your G-spot.

Because Lord knows you don't want to have to expend any extra energy to open that damn beer.

Crush du Jour: Brian Ferrari


cb said...

I think I need that first one to put on my headboard...

Mistress Maddie said...

Oh my God. Those are pretty funny! It funny to see what word and how they were used back then. Now they would never pass. And your remakes made me laugh even more!

Joy said...

Love your witty remarks with each of them! Wow! Thank goodness we have made some changes!

Unknown said...

These are wonderful and I remember quite a few. Your comments with them bring them to new life. Ha ha harrrrrrrr.....

Kevin said...

I think that smoke blowing one is a reference to telling someone you want to have sex with them.

I seem to remember being told that back in high school.

No one ever blew smoke in my face.

tornwordo said...

Wow that tapeworm diet is so alarming. Sometimes I wish I had been born 40 years earlier when lard and smoking were HEALTHY!

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Camels are what the late Dr. Michael Crichton smoked?