Weekend highlights

Sat morning started out as most of our's do, and if you don't know what that means then just click on any recent post entitled "Weekend highlights". Then Spouse & I went to a community yard sale where I bought 8 purple dinner plates for $3. I think they will match (or at least coordinate with) Steven & Thad's dishes. After a light lunch on the screened porch we headed over to the DE Pride Festival. The weather was perfect: 78 degrees, clear blue skies, and undetectable humidity. We had a good time but finished seeing all the booths and talking with the many friends we saw there within 2 hours, so we left before Kimberley Locke performed. I would have stayed but Spouse was 'ret to go'. Later that evening we met up with Doug & Jim and their neighbors Charlie & John for dinner to celebrate Doug's birthday. We ate at the Rusty Rudder all-you-can-eat buffet since Doug loves their crab legs. It had a very nice time! Afterward I met up with my buddies at Mandance.

We slept in Sun morning, then had coffee and chatted on the screened porch. Jason & Kevin texted to see if we would join them for a late breakfast. Spouse declined due to the previous night's buffet but I met up with the guys at 11:00. Afterward Spouse & I met up with Jason & Kevin, Steven & Thad, The Bobs, Chris, Edwin and Matthew at the beach. It was another postcard perfect day: 82 degrees, clear skies and a lovely breeze off the water. The waves were rather wild, due to Hurricane Igor's affect on the ocean. It was beautiful to watch them churn and crash onto shore. Spouse & I visited with our friends and went for a nice walk on the beach. It was such a beautiful day we didn't want to go home, but eventually we did. I enjoyed a cocktail on the screened porch while Spouse showered, and then we had dinner on the screened porch too. Truly delightful!

Although it is inevitably coming to an end soon, we have really had a terrific summer for spending time on the beach, and I have tried to take maximum advantage of it. I'm definitely NOT ready for long pants, socks and shoes, or shorter days. Not yet.

Crush du Jour: Jonathan Bardzik

Holiday weekend highlights

We enjoyed a typical Sat morning (Spouse went to his personal trainer appointment; I drank coffee and watched 3 back-to-back episodes of "Sell This House"). Then I called my Aunt Mary because she'd left me a voice message letting me know my Uncle John (her brother) passed away. He lived in Los Angeles so we didn't see each other a lot but I really liked him. Fortunately he came to the east coast last Oct for my cousin's wedding so I got to visit with him then. When Spouse got home we had a light lunch on the screened porch then got ourselves together and went to the beach. We had absolutely stunning weather: temperature around 80, nice breeze and very low humidity. The old adage that the weather is always gorgeous after a storm is true, even if Hurricane Earl never actually showed up here. Later that evening we had dinner with Doug & Jim on the front porch at Hobo's. I had local rockfish stuffed with lump crab meat which was to die for! We had wanted to eat at Cafe Sole but they only had 2 outdoor tables for 4 and both had just been seated, meaning at least an hour wait. But Hobo's menu is so extensive it wasn't hard to find a dozen irresistible entrees to choose from, even though we'd eaten there last weekend. After dinner I dropped off Spouse at home and went to Dos Locos for karaoke, but found there was none, so I headed over to Mandance a little early. They music was really good and it seemed everyone I knew was there. Fun!

Sun morning Spouse & I met Jason & Kevin for breakfast. Although normally crowded, the service is usually fast there, but not this time. It took us an hour and a 1/2 to order, eat and pay! Once back at home we sat and talked on the screened porch for a while. But since it was yet another stunning day we went to the beach again. Sheer ambrosia! Later that night we met up with Steven & Thad, their friend Alan, and 1 of the Bobs for dinner at Saketumi which was fabulous as always. I had the Volcano roll and the crunchy spicy tuna roll. Afterward we wandered upstairs to the lounge where a women's dance party was going on and ran into a few female friends.

Mon morning Spouse went to the gym to do some cardio and then went grocery shopping while I stayed home and cleaned the kitchen. He made a Weight Watchers-friendly birthday cake for Thad and started the chicken parmesan while I tidied up the screened porch and set the tables for Thad's birthday dinner. It was another beautiful day so I took advantage of it by going for a 45-minute walk through the neighborhood. Then I made a salad and helped Spouse get everything ready for Steven & Thad, their friend Alan, 1 of the Bobs and Rusty's arrival for dinner. We spent the entire evening/night on the screened porch and had a great time. Once everyone left we cleaned up and I watched last Thursday's "Project Runway" saved on the DVR. (Watch the videos of the Michael Costello haters!)

It was a fabulous holiday weekend, even without having out-of-town friends stay with us!

Crush du Jour: Marcus Hamlyn

Tightrope

You may have noticed in my last two Weekend highlights posts that I mentioned meeting up with friends at Mandance, while Spouse stayed home.

Although we're alike in many ways, Spouse & I are also different in many ways. One of them is going to clubs/bars. He absolutely hates it, while I find it enjoyable at times if I know my friends are going to be there.

For the majority of our 14 years together (god, writing that made me feel really old all the sudden) we have not gone to clubs or bars. He doesn't drink alcohol and thinks its boring to 'stand around'. I drink and sometimes have fun hanging out and talking/laughing with friends, or better yet, dancing.

Every once in a blue moon he will acquiesce to meeting up with friends at a bar of club, especially if we're out of town. God bless him, he was a trouper when we were in NYC with David Dust and others and did our old school East Village gay bar crawl. He also went out when we were on vacation in Portland last Sept, and again with me and a bunch of friends on New Years Eve. But make no mistake: he would ALWAYS prefer to stay home and flip between the multiple home shopping channels.

Two Saturdays ago Mandance was having a Lady GaGa night and I made those GaGa-inspired glasses. Originally Spouse had said he would go with me (and meet up with a bunch of friends there) but then changed his mind. I was not about to let all my hard work on the GaGa glasses go to waste so I decided to go anyway, without him. He didn't mind at all. In fact, he encouraged me to go and have a good time, presumably so he could stay home and have a good time. So I did, and I had a ball! It was like I had somehow 'forgotten' that I loved to dance. I danced my @ss off and really enjoyed myself, without him.

This past Sat Bryan & Jason tried to convince us to go to Mandance. I needed no convincing but Spouse hemmed and hawed and finally gave them a 'maybe' answer. As I suspected, he wound up staying home again, but encouraged me to meet up with Bryan & Jason (and others we knew would be there) so I did. Again, I danced my @ss off and had a really good time, without him.

At first I felt a slight tinge of guilt for having such a good time without Spouse. Some couples regularly enjoy independent interests, and there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Our life as a couple has not been like that. We almost always agree to do something or go somewhere together, even if one of us has to coerce the other. But what has happened is some interests (like dancing) weren't experienced or enjoyed for years because the other person never wanted to. Until recently.

If only it was just as simple as agreeing to occasionally enjoy independent interests. Obviously a balance needs to be found. My fear is that if we do that too often, we may find it harder to compromise, and instead just tell the other person "I'll do my thing and you do yours tonight". I wouldn't want that to become the default. I want us to do the things we both enjoy, yet occasionally do together the things that only one of us enjoys. Compromising sometimes helps people see that something is not as bad or unpleasant as they think it is. But find that balance is like walking a tightrope.

Also, if I were to go out dancing most Sat nights without him it might cause people to question the stability of our relationship too. Although that may sound silly to those of you in big cities, such thoughts and comments are reality in small towns where everyone knows everyone.

So, we both seem to be okay with occasionally enjoying independent interests, but I'm wondering if any of you have any advice regarding how YOU successfully balance independent interests and couple things?

Crush du Jour: Leonardo Corredor