Patrick's visit

My old friend Patrick came to visit!  He arrived yesterday afternoon and will stay until mid-day tomorrow.  He visited back in early May and we had a great time!  However, the ocean water was too cold to go swimming so I suggested he come back in Sept when its more comfortable, and he did.

Yesterday we sat on the porch with Spouse and the dogs and talked until it was time for dinner.  The 3 of us met up with Steven & Thad at Purple Parrot.  Patrick had the prime rib special and I had 1/2 price buffalo wings and 1/2 price nachos which I shared with the table.  This is not on my Fit for Life plan, but I enjoyed it anyway.  It was a beautiful evening so there were lots of folks out and about, and we saw several friends.  It was a fun evening.

Today Spouse went to work and Patrick and I sat on the screened porch with Marvin & Walter for hours, drinking coffee and talking about politics, equality, the glory days when we were in the Concert Choir and Dominants vocal jazz and show choir group, family dynamics, work, and all sorts of other stuff.  We never run out of interesting things to discuss.  Finally we got our beach stuff together and had lunch at Panera before going to the beach.  

Beach selfie

It was a beautiful day and we enjoyed the sun and went swimming in the ocean.  It was great!

Once back home and showered, I picked up some subs, drinks, chips, and cookies for our dinner on board the water taxi.  The 3 of us met up with Steven & Thad and Joe P and took the same sunset cruise that I went on last week with my colleagues.  

Photo credit: Joe P

It was fun and we all enjoyed it very much!

Unfortunately tomorrow he'll head back home around noon.  But I know he'll be back again before too long.  That's how old friends are.

Patrick

Yesterday my old friend Patrick arrived!

We met when I was a junior and he was a senior in high school, and both of us were in the concert choir and Dominants! vocal jazz and show choir.  We became close friends during that year and one night he 'came out' to me.  At first I thought he was joking because he didn't fit any of the gay stereotypes with which I was familiar.  Later on I nervously came out to him, to which he responded "I know.  I knew you were gay before you did."  Patrick was instrumental in my physical and mental transformation which prepared me to to come out to my family and leave them and my former religion behind.  I could never repay him for this gift!

The weather was pleasant so Spouse, Patrick and I sat outside on the porch (with Marvin & Walter) and began getting caught up.  

Patrick and me - friends for over 35 years!

When it got to be dinner time, Steven & Thad texted and invited us to dinner so we joined them and I introduced them to Patrick.  Before Patrick arrived I'd told Steven & Thad about him coming and described him as my "gay mentor" since he explained so much to me about being gay back in the day.  As a joke Thad said to Patrick "As I understand it, you are responsible for his gayness", pointing at me.  Not missing a beat Patrick replied "Yep, and I think I did a pretty good job too!"  We all laughed, of course.

Today I took Patrick to Crystal for breakfast, where he got to meet our friend and waitress Pau Pau.  Afterward we went for a 2-mile walk on the boardwalk, and then drove around the area a bit before heading home.  This evening while Spouse is at his personal trainer appointment, Patrick and I will go for Thai food and then go listen to my friend John play the keyboard and sing at a restaurant.  I think Patrick will enjoy that.

He'll be here through Wed morning.

Weekend highlights

OMG - what a weekend!


The weekend started with Fri Night Dinner with 'the usual suspects'. Afterward, 6 of the guys from dinner (including Steven & Thad) joined me for karaoke in the upstairs lounge at Saketumi. Unfortunately, there weren't many singers since the venue just started hosting karaoke on Fri nights. That means there were only about 4 of us singing, which meant I got to sing a LOT of songs. I tried to vary the song styles and artists I chose. Here's what I sang:

• For Once In My Life - Stevie Wonder
• Summertime - Ella Fitzgerald
• Take A Bow - Madonna
• Laughter In The Rain - Neil Sedaka
• I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
• Unfortgettable - Nat King Cole

How's THAT for diversity??? We had a lot of fun.

Sat morning Spouse & I drove back to VA for the weekend. We took his mom out to lunch and then visited his sister and her family at their house for a while. I left by myself and went to a choral concert where my high school choir director was one of the guest conductors. It was weird to be back in that high school after so many years. It looked exactly the same, only smaller. I arranged to meet up with an old high school friend I hadn't seen in years at the concert and we really enjoyed both the music and the chance to catch up. Shortly after returning to Spouse's mom's house, the 3 of us went out to dinner and then hung out at home.

Sun morning we had coffee and visited for a while. Spouse went to buy a new belt and I met up with my old Dominants and choir director and about 20 of her former students (most of which were also my friends) for a luncheon/reunion at a restaurant. Since the weather was very nice, we took over a section of the deck overlooking the marina.

Our director brought a scrap book full of photos, programs, letters and other memorabilia that had been given to her by a parent of a student years ago. We had a wonderful time talking, laughing, reminiscing, and even singing. Our Dominants and choir director had a tradition of having all her classes learn a piece of music called "The Parting Blessing", so despite the fact that those at the reunion were from several different graduating years, we had all sung that song. We were given copies at the luncheon and we sung it together. Many of us didn't need the sheet music, as it was still in our memories. It was a beautiful highlight of a fantastic day.

As if that reunion wasn't enough for one day, I got a Facebook message from my good friend Billy (who lives in LA now) that he was coming back to the east coast to visit his parents, who live in the same town where my Dominants/choir reunion took place. So once the reunion ended, I met up with Billy. We had a lot of fun remembering funny and happy times in our lives together, and also talked about more serious and contemporary issues. Billy and I were both raised in the Jehovah's Witness religion and both eventually left (though at different times and through different paths) so we could 'come out' and live authentic lives. We met at a cute little lunch spot where we'd eaten together many times before in our previous lives. As we talked and listened I felt keenly aware that I was right there with him, in the moment. I wasn't concerned with what time it was, if I needed to get back to Spouse, or the fact that I am now unemployed. While we were together that afternoon, that's all there was, and it was perfect. When we finally said goodbye, I returned to Spouse's mom's house and we packed up the car and headed home. We watched another 2 episodes of "True Blood" on DVD (how appropriate since it was Halloween) and then went to bed.

I feel so fortunate to have reconnected with so many people yesterday who are or were so important in my life. This day of reunions helped my heart rejoice over so much, rather than be concerned over the uncertainty in my life right now. It was exactly what I needed.

Friday fragments

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

My friend Steven sent me this with the caption "Yea, I'd say he's a winner."

Today is my last day at my job. My boss called this morning to thank me for my "significant contributions" over the last 8 years, and to thank me personally for my professionalism during this "difficult time". I'm guessing some of the others who got laid off must not have been as 'professional' as I was. I sent an email to a small number of colleagues I consider friends and gave them my personal contact information so we could stay in touch. They all responded with heartwarming replies.

On my (extended) lunch break today I stopped at the dry cleaners to drop off some pants I'm taking on the cruise. An Asian man and woman were the only 2 employees. I noticed there was Christian religious music playing in the dry cleaners. I looked around and saw a CD player on the window sill, playing track 8. Maybe I'm being stereotypical but I found it comical and odd that an Asian couple would play Christian music.

My buddy Jason is moving today. He's only moving about 2 hours away, and promises to come back about every other weekend. But he's the person (aside from Spouse) that I spend the most time with during the week. He worked just up the street from our house so we'd meet for lunch. He'd go with me on Thurs nights for karaoke. He'd also go with me to Mandance since Spouse didn't like to go, and we played volleyball at the beach over the summer. I'm really going to miss him, but I'm happy that he is starting a new chapter in his life.

We're going to VA this weekend to spend some time with Spouse's family and so I can attend a luncheon and mini-reunion with some of my Dominants and Choir friends and our former Director Debbie. Many of us haven't seen each other since graduation, 28 years ago! It should be fun.

I'm not really interested in vampires, but so many people I know have raved about the HBO series "True Blood". A friend loaned Spouse the "True Blood" books on tape which he found interesting, so he asked me to get the HBO series from Netflix. We've only watched the 1st disc so far (2 episodes) but already I am liking it. Despite my non-interest in vampires, the show is so well crafted that I find it entertaining to watch. Little wonder, since "True Blood" is created by Alan Ball, who created the brilliant HBO series "Six Feet Under".

Crush du Jour: Eric Decker

Coincidences?

Close to a year ago I was chatting on Facebook with an old high school friend Keri who was also a member of the jazz/show choir called 'Dominants' with me. Keri said she had run into our old director Debbie at the gym and got her email address. I got Debbie's email address but didn't write to her for nearly a year. I wanted to reconnect with her as an adult and tell her what a strong, positive influence she had on me. I wanted to tell her that I actually used everything I learned in her classes. I wanted her to know how highly all the former 'Dominants' speak of her on the Facebook page. I wanted her to know she made an important impact on my life, but wasn't sure where to start.

So just last Fri I was chatting with 2 other former members of 'Dominants' when 1 of them asked if I knew where Debbie was living, since she had retired. I shared with these 2 friends Debbie's email address, which made me stop for a few minutes and wonder why I hadn't emailed her yet. So I did.

The next day Debbie wrote back and said that she was "thrilled" to hear from me. After all the students she'd had in the 27 years since I graduated, I wasn't completely sure she'd remember me, but she did. She reminded me of "one of the highlights" of her career, which was the visit from Kirby Shaw, the distinguished vocal jazz composer/arranger/singer. She also said she certainly hoped I was using my "wonderful musical talents" in some way. (I always feel bad when someone from my musical past wants to know what I'm doing musically these days and I have to tell them 'nothing'.)

The next day on the beach I was introduced by a mutual friend to Bruce. It turns out that Bruce lives in the same town in VA where my high school is located. In fact, not only did both of us go to that same high school, we were there at the same time! He was a freshman the year I was a senior. As a joke I said "You might remember me, I was in 'Dominants'..." since 'Dominants' was the elite vocal jazz and show choir in the state. Being in 'Dominants' made you almost as cool as being on the varsity football team. Well, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised we he replied that he, too, was in 'Dominants' after I had graduated. Of course he asked if I knew anything about Debbie's whereabouts, so I told him about my recent email and her response.

While I'm at the beach talking to Bruce, a guy named Wes emailed me. (I read it later that evening.) He said he met Debbie at the gym and when she learned that he was looking for a singer for his gospel quartet, she highly recommended me. Of course she didn't know at the time that I lived in DE, so when I wrote back to Wes I explained that important detail.

So let's recap. Although I'd had Debbie's email address for about a year, I finally write to her on Fri. The next day she writes back. The next day I meet Bruce, another former student of hers, and later I get an offer to audition for a paid singing group due to a recommendation from Debbie.

Is it all just coincidence? I'm not sure. But if it isn't, what does it all mean?

Is the Universe trying to get me to find a creative musical outlet?

I really don't want to sing gospel music, even if I did live in VA. I really, really want to sing a capella vocal jazz but have no prospects for doing so at this time. But maybe if I 'put myself out there' the Universe will help me connect with people who have the same interest.

Which brings me to another coincidence, or not.

Sun on the beach Bryan & Jason and Vince invited me & Spouse to come out with them this Thurs night for karaoke, since it will be Vince's last opportunity before leaving the area. We agreed, so I will be singing karaoke this Thurs, which kind of goes along with the idea of 'putting myself out there' where I might find others who may want to sing jazz with me.

Coincidences? Hopefully time will tell.

Crush du Jour: Braden Baade

Facebook

I've been resisting Facebook for several months. Every now and then I get email invitations to view photos on some friend's Facebook page, but you can't see the photos unless you sign up for an account. I already have a rather large network of email friends and I have a MySpace page, so I figured 'why do I need yet another social networking site'? So for months I just ignored the invitations.

But then my friend Lisa changed everything!

Lisa is my friend from way back. We went all the way from elementary to high school together. We have a history. Spouse & I stayed at her fab pad on our last trip to NYC. I love Lisa!

But a recent email exchange with Lisa revealed that there was a Dominants group on Facebook! Oh... my... god. I simply had to see who might be there.

So I entered just enough information to get the account set up so I could look for fellow Dominants alumni. And there they were! People I haven't seen or communicated with in over 20 years.

Then I found and became a member of the Dominants group and started looking at the photos. Oh... my... god. Sure enough, there were several scanned photos that include yours truly, taken at competitions and other performances. Then I started reading the stories a few had written, such as "most embarrassing on-stage moments" and the time our bus broke down and we all had to quickly change into our costumes in the same room, boys and girls. (How scandalous!) Oh how the memories came flooding back to me! I couldn't believe 2 1/2 hours flew by.

And I swear, the government should use Facebook to find Osama Bin Laden because Facebook can find anybody! Somehow I was prompted to review a list potential 'friends' and found a few people I worked with nearly 20 years ago. Just by entering the name of my high school and graduation year another list of potential 'friends' popped up, with many more old friends. Then I allowed Facebook to access my personal email address book, and bam! Another list of 'friends', including many readers of this blog. If Facebook is correct, I am somehow connected to about 1/3 of the entire US population, and a percentage of Canada.

Then I got cocky and decided to upload some photos of my own for others to enjoy. Big Ella, scans of high school stuff, etc. I got the 1st album uploaded and started getting comments on the photos. But then today, the photos weren't viewable. Instead, the album was filled with small boxes with red x in them.

Not sure what's going on there yet, but I will figure it out. I have to. I'm now addicted to Facebook, thanks to Lisa.

Crush du Jour: Gustavo Mendonca

American Idol

Okay, I admit it - I am addicted to American Idol. But, at least it makes sense for me to be addicted to this show. After all, I am a singer. And I was a 'Dominant'. (Kerry is smiling at that.)

When I was in high school I started singing in the Concert Choir. It seemed I had some talent, and when I'd go for All-County, Regional, Honors, and All-State choir auditions, I always made it. In fact, in my senior year I tied the record at All-State choir auditions by getting a score of 299 points out of a possible 300. But that's not what made me a 'Dominant'...

'The Dominants' was an award-winning vocal jazz/show choir from my high school. From the first time I heard them (as a freshmen) I knew I would one day be a member of this prestigious singing group. The name 'Dominants' is a play on words, referring to the 5th of a chord, or the dominant of the chord, as well as performers who dominate at competitions. And yes, there were competitions...

I will never forget in my junior year 'The Dominants' were enrolled for some vocal jazz and show choir workshops followed by a competition in Jersey City, NJ. We were a little scared that schools from New York would be there, as we imagined 'Fame' choirs putting us to shame. The workshops were from like 10 am to 4 pm, and the competitions were from 6-8 pm. Unfortunately for us, our County school bus broke down on the way, which delayed our arrival by several hours. We got to the auditorium just as the workshops were ending. Fortunately we arrived in time to have a quick dinner, change into our costumes and compete.

All of the high school groups were competing in either the vocal jazz OR the show choir divisions, except for 'The Dominants'. We had two different performances and were enrolled in both divisions. As we watched the groups who performed before us, we got more and more excited because we knew our songs were better and that we were simply more talented. But the proof was in the pudding... err, the performances.

First was the show choir division, which involves more choreography and less complicated vocal arrangements. We were like group 5 out of 10, I think. Then came the vocal jazz division, which involves very little choreography, but complicated tight harmonies. You can't fake a vocal jazz performance. We drew the coveted position of performing last. Remember, we were the only group to compete in both divisions, using 2 different sets of songs.

After a brief intermission for the judges' votes to be tallied, they reassembled everyone for the results.

"The trophy for best choreography goes to... The Dominants" followed by thunderous applause. "The trophy for best vocal solo goes to... The Dominants." More thunderous applause and whistles. "The trophy for best costume goes to... The Dominants." The audience was going crazy - even our competitors were happy for us. On and on, The Dominants won all of the trophies except for one: best instrumental solo. As I recall, one group had a fabulous trumpet solo that got duly recognized.

Then came the finale. "Best overall performance in the show choir division... The Dominants." We were all on our feet, screaming, jumping up and down and hugging each other. Then came the last one. "Best overall performance in the vocal jazz division... The Dominants!" We were all hysterical by that point. We were in such an excited frenzy you'd have thought we'd each won a hundred billion dollars. What a night! I'll never forget that as long as I live.

Then there was the vocal jazz competition where the volunteer student from the audio/visual club was practicing for the Emmies. Each time a group was named as a winner, he'd play a snippet of one of their songs as the choir director went up to the stage to accept the trophy. When we won first place there and our song was playing, I swear I felt like I was on an TV awards show! The entire 24-member choir charged up on stage to be photographed with our choir director and that big-ass trophy.

If I wasn't 41 years old now, I'd have auditioned for American Idol when they came to DC. But although I look younger than 41, I honestly don't think I could pass for 28, the cut-off age for American Idol. So instead, I will look at the photos taken with my fellow Dominants and I'll remember when...