Valentine's Day

Yesterday was Valentine's Day.

I typically have roses or a floral arrangement delivered to Spouse's office on Valentine's Day.  He loves flowers, and I love the attention he gets by receiving them at work.  But with the ER visit and eye drops 4 times a day, I kind of got distracted and didn't get them ordered.  I could have gotten my friend Paul the florist to quickly put something together and deliver it, but I was afraid I may get the left-overs, so I decided to do something different.

Since Thurs is my day off, I went to the fabulous floral dept at my local Safeway.  We ordered the flowers for our wedding from there and were very happy with them.  I bought a vase with a dozen lavendar roses with greenery and baby's breath, a variety box of Ferrero Roche chocolates, a bag of Dove dark chocolates, and a card with the perfect saying.  I set them up on the kitchen peninsula for Spouse to see when he got home. 

Spouse was a little surprised to not get the flowers at work, but was happy with the results of my change in plans.  He went to his personal trainer appointment and I made (HelloFresh) dinner.  We had a simple but nice Valentine's Day dinner at home.  Then we watched the movie "Valentine's Day" on TV.

Valentines Day

Today is Valentines Day.  The day for lovers.  The day couples celebrate their coupleness.

Sorry single people.  Its not you... its us.

While some people view Valentines Day cynically, as a day for restaurants and florists to jack up their prices and for stores to overflow their isles with boxes of chocolates and stuffed animals, I still look at Valentines Day as a purist would.  I like to reflect on the night Spouse & I met, our first few dates, and our bond which has grown stronger during our 21+ years together.

I usually like to send beautiful cut flowers to Spouse's office, have boxed chocolates waiting for him at home, and eat a nice meal together at home.  

But this year will be a little different.  Spouse took off work today in order to pick out and pack his clothes and other stuff for our trip, so he won't be at work to get the flowers.  And even if he were there, he'd only get to enjoy seeing them for 1 day before we leave on a week's vacation, so it would be almost a total waste. So no flowers today.

We don't typically go out to dinner on Valentines Day because restaurants are crowded and prices are high.  We won't go tonight either, as I will be packing and getting ready to be away.  Instead, we'll make a HelloFresh meal and spend an evening at home together.

But we'll still confess our love and undying affection to one another, without balloons or flowers or fancy restaurant dinners.  Because at the end of the day, its just us.

Valentine's day myths debunked

Valentine's day is tomorrow.  This week several of my favorite shows (The Middle, Modern Family, Blackish, etc) aired their Valentine's day episodes which I enjoyed.

While Valentine's day is supposed to be the holiday celebrating love, I'm disturbed by the increasing amount of people who hate it.  When I hear the reasons why some people hate this holiday it sounds like a bunch of sour grapes to me.

So that is why I've decided to debunk several Valentine's day myths for you.  You're welcome.

Myth:  Valentine's day reminds single people that they are alone.
Reality:  Christmas reminds Jews, Atheists, and Jehovah's Witnesses that they aren't getting any gifts that day.  Big deal!  Its not their holiday!  Its 1 day out of 365 so don't be a hater.  You wouldn't despise someone with a cupcake because you're on a diet!

Myth:  You can't get a restaurant reservation.
Reality:  You can if you don't wait until the last minute.  Put it on your calendar on Jan 14th to make a dinner reservation for Valentine's day.  A month ahead you'll have your choice of where to dine.

Myth:  If you do get a reservation, the restaurant will be crowded and over-priced.
Reality:  Again, if you aren't Last Minute Larry you can make a reservation for a place with modest prices.  Or, you can just enjoy spending the evening with your loved one and not worry about the cost.  Or, you can cook a lovely and romantic dinner for your sweetie at home and avoid the restaurants entirely.

Myth:  I'll have to buy expensive roses and chocolates.
Reality:  No you don't.  While those things are common on Valentine's day, there's no law that says you can't get an arrangement of beautiful cut flowers instead of roses, or your sweetie's favorite candy bar instead of a box of chocolates.  Be creative! 

Myth:  I'll have to get a stupid, mushy card that's not my style.
Reality:  What could be more romantic than making your own Valentine's card?  Pick up some inexpensive supplies at the dollar store and make your own card - romantic or funny - that IS your style.  It can say whatever you want it to say!

Myth:  There's so much pressure to find a nice gift.
Reality:   While there is a limit to how many stuffed animals or pieces of jewelry one should give, in reality Valentine's day gifts are no different that birthday or Christmas gifts.  Don't wait until the last minutes.  Use your imagination and take some time to think of what you're sweetie may have hinted recently.  Or, think of the his/her hobbies and get something related to one of them.  It doesn't have to be expensive to be meaningful.

Myth:  If you're single there's nothing for you to do on Valentine's day.
Reality:  Wrong!  Plan to get together with some of your single friends, dress up nice and cute and go to happy hour at your favorite bar/pub.  It will be less crowded than usual since the couples won't be there.  Plus, you may meet someone else single there.  Or, invite a few friends over, order Chinese delivery, and watch a movie or a scripted series marathon.

In a perfect world everyone would have a special someone, would tell them often that they love them, and would bring them gifts and cards and flowers for no reason.  But most of us do not live in such a perfect world so Valentine's day is the day we are reminded to express our feelings.  This is not a bad thing!

Valentines Day flowers

Since my Spouse loves flowers and I love making my Spouse happy, I will occasionally send him cut flowers to his office.  (I send them to his office so his colleagues see that gay people send/receive flowers just like straight people do.)  He knows by now to expect them on his birthday, Valentines Day, and our anniversary.  Sometimes I'll send them on some other random day, just to catch him by surprise.  So since Fri was Valentines Day, this is what showed up at his office:

What??  No red roses on Valentines Day?? you may be asking?  That's correct.  Red roses tend to be very pricey on Valentines Day, and cost aside, Spouse feels that red roses on Valentines Day is too typical and expected.  Which is fine by me because he brings the flowers home for us both to enjoy and I prefer a mixed bouquet over a dozen of the same thing.

And for the record, this bouquet contains pale pink and mauve miniature roses so technically he did get roses on Valentines Day.

That night we had a lovely dinner at JD's Cafe.  I had lobster and shrimp Thai curry and Spouse had fried scallops.  Our friend Donald is the maitre' d and had a complimentary dessert sent to our table, which was very nice of him.  After more than 17 years together we no longer give each other Valentines Day gifts.  Enjoying dessert and decaf coffee together on Valentines day was gift enough.

Valentines Day

To all of you who are married, in a civil union, in a relationship, or are dating someone, I wish you a very happy Valentines Day, full of love, romance, and sweetness.

To those who are single and must 'suffer' through this one day of the year dedicated to lovers, I hope you'll stay optimistic and open to love.

And to those who bitterly complain about how Valentines Day is just a commercial holiday to benefit greeting card sellers, chocolate sellers, and florists, and makes single people feel badly about themselves, I urge you to get a life!  Or at the very least, a new attitude. 

Valentines Day

Today is Valentines Day, the day dedicated to lovers.

Apparently lots of single people dread Valentines Day because it is a reminder that they are NOT in a relationship.  But I'm hearing/reading more and more about married/partnered/coupled people who also boycott Valentines Day.  Some say its just an excuse for retailers to sell lots of cards, candy, flowers, and stuffed teddy bears.  Others say they don't need a "day" to be reminded to say 'I love you' and be sweet to their loved ones.

Well I say "Get over it, you Scrooges!"

What is so wrong with having 1 day out of the year when you're expected to be romantic and sweet and give your loved one gifts?  Maybe you're romantic and sweet everyday - that's great - then you should be an expert on Valentines Day.  Buy your sweetheart a mushy card and stop being ridiculous already!

I just don't understand why people somehow feel they are being 'taken advantage of' by retailers on Valentines Day.  If money is the real concern, you can always get a card, small box of candy, and a helium balloon at the Dollar Store for $1 a piece!  You don't have to order flowers from an expensive florist.  Lots of grocery stores have floral departments that offer affordable cut flowers.

So to all those reluctant lovers out there I say "just do it"!!

This year I did not send flowers from a florist to Spouse's office as I usually do.  I learned a few days ago that he would be out of his office most the day.  I learned this when I tried to plan to meet him for lunch today, my regular day off.  But as it turned out, Spouse finished his special work activity early and called me at 12:15 to see if I still wanted to meet for lunch.  So we had a lovely little Valentines Day lunch together.  

When Spouse got home from work he was greeted by a beautiful bouquet of purple, pink, burgundy, red, and white blossoms I'd picked out at the floral department at the grocery store, a cute card in a red envelope, and a heart-shaped box of Lindt truffles.  My Spouse is definitely NOT one to turn his nose up at 'silly' Valentines Day spoiling.  I think he looks forward to it.

We decided not to go out to dinner tonight, since we had our Valentines Day lunch.  We'll eat dinner at home and relax while watching TV, a quiet night together, with Marvin.

Happy Valentines Day!

Valentines highlights

Spouse loves cut flowers, so its been a tradition of mine to send flowers to him for his birthday, our anniversary, Valentines Day, and another random day of the year to surprise him.

But Spouse is not a fan of red roses, which you'd expect for Valentines Day, an he says white roses are for funerals.  So sometimes I special order purple roses or the yellow ones with orange on the tips.  But this time I decided to bypass roses altogether and got him a vase of yellow tulips with orange tips.  I love tulips, they're 'different' for Valentines Day, they don't get marked up on Valentines Day like roses, and Spouse thought they were gorgeous.

That night we had dinner with Steven & Thad at Saketumi.  I treated myself to a Cosmo.  I say 'treat' because I haven't had a Cosmo since New Years Eve, since I've been reducing my calories.  That Cosmo was even more delicious than usual!  I had sushi rolls and Spouse had Kung Poa chicken and shrimp.  We all had a very nice Valentines dinner.

No chocolates cuz we're both weight watching.

As a sidenote, it drives me NUTS to hear people say 'ValentiMes Day'.  I heard it on the radio 3 times yesterday.

Happy Valentines Day

Valentines Day

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and I decided to do something a little different this time.

I usually send flowers to Spouse's office for Valentine's Day, but since I'm not working and we're trying to be careful about spending money, I decided to save the $50. I'd normally spend on the flowers. Instead, I got several helium-filled mylar balloons with various Valentine's Day messages on them and delivered them to Spouse's office myself.

The balloons cost under $10. and made a big visual impact. My guess is that the balloons will also last longer than flowers. Spouse was genuinely surprised. Delivering the balloons myself also gave me the opportunity to see his new office. His entire department moved to a new building last month and I had not yet been there to see his new space.

After a brief tour we decided to duck out for a coffee and then go for a walk. It was 68 degrees and sunny so we enjoyed a very nice walk around town without jackets. A river runs through the town so our walk was partially along the river. We talked and enjoyed the walk very much.

When he got home from work, Spouse found a Valentine's Day card from me on the dresser, and he presented me with a beautiful Tommy Hilfiger shirt. (Recently we'd been talking about how my work-from-home wardrobe would not be appropriate for my new career in real estate.)

Later that night we joined Steven & Thad and one of The Bobs for dinner at Saketumi. Spouse & I shared a delicious cocktail called a Valentini, made with muddled strawberries, rum, and champagne. Deelish! We had a wonderful meal and a very nice time with our friends.

I hope you all had a sweet Valentine's Day!

Weekend highlights

You've heard the saying: "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping", right?

Well, with Spouse & me both being sick for 2 weeks and with 3 major snow storms within 11 days, the going has been a bit tough about here. Spouse's office was closed 3 out of 5 days last week. Fortunately we'd stocked up on food and such and just didn't leave the house much.

So on Sat we decided to get out and go shopping. Our major purchase was a 5 cubic foot chest freezer. We'd been looking at them and comparing brands and cost for a while. So after deciding on one, we used a $100. American Express gift card from Christmas and a $40. gift card from a returned purchase toward our freezer and wound up paying just $28. for it. When the garage was being wired we'd requested an electrical outlet be placed near the door leading from the garage into the house so we could keep the freezer in the garage and easily access the food. We also restocked some household items (shampoo, razor blades, paper towels, etc.) while we were out.

After dropping off Spouse and the freezer, I got my hair cut. It had been 12 weeks since my last haircut (just before Thanksgiving). I'd been letting it grow out so I could have more choices for a new style. But I got to the point of feeling too shaggy, and since I have to meet my boss' new boss this week, I decided to get it cut. Its not very edgy or avant garde as I'd fantasized, but its short on the sides and back with a little more length on the top so I think I'll be able to style it a few different ways. God, it felt good to get that hair off my neck and ears!!

Sat evening we met Rick & Nick for dinner, then watched some of the Olympics before going to bed.

Sun I had a very relaxing morning reading blogs and drinking coffee while Spouse slept in. Eventually we both showered, dressed, and headed out again. We drove into Rehoboth Beach to look at the ocean, filled up the gas tank, and stopped at another store where we found cute green storage boxes to fit on the shelves in our closet. And they were on sale! I tried yet again to find a snow shovel to no avail.

Later that evening we met up with Steven & Thad and The Bobs for dinner. One of the Bobs had been in Mexico for nearly 3 weeks so it was good to see him again and hear some of his stories. We shared a variety of appetizers and then I had Panang Curry Chicken which was delicious. I also had their specialty martini for Valentines day: The chocolate cherry kiss, made with Godiva white chocolate liqueur and cherry vodka, with a Hershey's chocolate cherry kiss at the bottom. It was so scrumptious I had to have another! After dinner we went upstairs to the lounge where a guy was singing and playing the guitar. For Valentines day they had complimentary chocolate fondue with sliced strawberries and marshmallows, pink cupcakes, and decorated shortbread cookies. How sweet!

Spouse & I returned home and watched some more of the Olympics before bed.

It felt good to get out this weekend!

Crush du Jour: Craig Malozzi

Big and long

What's big and long and gets me excited?

Our upcoming weekend, that's what! Its 'big' in the sense that we have several fun things planned, and 'long' in the sense that Spouse & I both have Mon off for Presidents Day. (Get your minds out of the gutter, girls.)

Our good buddies Bugs & Roger will be visiting us for the long weekend. They're due to arrive Fri around lunch time, and will spend the afternoon shopping at the tax-free outlets. When Spouse gets home and I finish work, the 4 of us will have a nice snack before we're off to the movies.

The Rehoboth Beach Film Society (of which I am a member) is having a mini GLBT film series this weekend, called 'Another Take'. We're going to see "Ciao" (trailers here) Fri night at 7:00, and then have dinner afterward. This film has been favorably review in OUT and The Advocate. Spouse & I have seen several other good gay films as a part of the 'Another Take' film series, so I have high expectations.

Our other good buddies Mike & Clark will also be in our neck of the woods this weekend. Every year they come with their pals Maurice & David for Presidents Day weekend, and stay at a friend's cottage in Rehoboth. Mike & Clark have invited Bugs & Roger and us to join them for lunch on Sat (location TBD), followed by cocktails and dinner Sat night at their cottage. We met Bugs & Roger through Mike & Clark, and we always have a great time together.

Sat also happens to be Valentines day, so I have ordered a dozen orange roses to be delivered to Spouse at his office today.

He loves cut flowers, especially roses, but does not care much for red roses, the universal symbol of love and Valentines day. So often I just send bouquets of various cut flowers for his birthday or our anniversary. But for Valentines day I always send roses, but ask the florist if they have any unusual colored roses. This year its orange. In past years I've sent lavender roses, which were stunning.I always send them to his office so his straight co-workers will see that gay couples behave very much like straight couples. Plus its just fun get flowers at work.

Sun at 2:00 we're going back to the movies to see "Mulligans" (trailers here). It was written by and stars Charlie David, an out gay actor (and former Crush du Jour) whom I like.

Charlie currently hosts the gay travel show called "Bump!" on Logo, starred in "Dante's Cove" on Here!, and has also appeared in "A Four Letter Word" and "Kiss the Bride", both of which are films we saw in past 'Another Take' film series. (Add both to your Netflix queue.) Gotta love our out gay actors!

The rest of Sun and Mon are open. Knowing Bugs & Roger, that time will be casually filled with coffee, laughter, reading, laughter, cocktails, laughter, food, laughter, relaxing, and laughter. Oh, and did I mention laughter?

Wishing all of you something big and long this weekend!

Crush du Jour: Scotty Thomson

A Busy Week

Wow, it has been a really busy week.

Things at work have really picked up. Not that I wasn't busy enough before things picked up. But this passed week has been unusual. Of course there's all the regular stuff for which I am responsible, but then there were some very UNusual things too. One of my clients scheduled a series of 10 webcasts with me about a month ago, but I found out that their office was being closed and that everyone except for one manager had been "released" (read: laid off) on Tuesday. In the 2 1/2 years I've been working here, I think this is the first time a client was laid off DURING a project.

Outside of work, things have been busy too. On Tuesday I had to make an unplanned trip to the shore, related to our old place that's for sale. I decided not to wait until after work, since it would be a 5 hour round trip at a minimum, getting me home very late at night. So, I left the office at 2:30, drove up there, took care of my business, had a bite to eat, and drove back home. Joe would have gone with me, but he had a board meeting to attend that night.

I've also been coordinating some maintenance and repairs for the old place at the beach, so that has captured my time and thoughts more than usual. Plus, I needed to find a new florist to deliver Joe's Valentines flowers on Monday. I used to use a wonderful florist in the town where he worked. The flowers were always nice and fresh, and the arrangements were always stunning. I'd ask them to create something "different", and would often request certain flowers or certain colors. I don't care for multi-color floral arrangements because they remind me of funerals. So often I'd tell them I wanted an 'unusual-looking arrangement just in shades of purple, lavender, lilac, and white", or something like that. But since Joe changed jobs a few months ago and doesn't work in that town, I needed to find a new florist.

Joe loves flowers, and I love to send them to him at his office. So I send him flowers on Valentines Day (Feb), our anniversary (May), his birthday (July), and then on some random 'surprise' date in the fall. It seems unfair to get flowers in winter, spring, and summer, leaving fall out completely. So I pick a random date in fall to surprise him.

Then Thursday night was our regular dinner with Evelyn. Friday night my aunt Mary took Joe & me out for my belated birthday dinner.

It has become a tradition with my aunt Mary for us to take her out for a nice (fancy) dinner on her birthday, and she does the same for us. Since my birthday is in December and we were so busy in December, we didn't get a chance to have our dinner until just this past week. It's always fun, so it is definitely not to be missed. I try to pick new or different places for my birthday, but Joe always picks the same place for his birthday: McCormick & Schmick's. They have very good food and service, but at a price. This time I decided I wanted to go to an Italian restaurant called Esposito's. I knew it wasn't all that fancy, but good Italian food can be so enjoyable that it was worth the try. My aunt, however, who had been there before, thought the food was good but that it wasn't fancy enough to 'qualify' for my birthday dinner, so we decided on another restaurant none of us had tried before. Being a Friday night, I suggested we try to make a reservation, or put our name on the call ahead list. (So many places it seems are getting away from reservations, but will put you on a call ahead list. Isn't that basically the same thing?)

The girl who answered the phone told my aunt they usually had a "wait list", but since it was 5:00 and no one was waiting to be seated, there was no "wait list". My aunt was unsuccessful in explaining that we were going to be arriving at 7:30 when there would definitely be a wait. The girl suggested she call back later when people were waiting. I'm sure my aunt was rolling her eyes and shaking her head in disbelief, but she did as the girl suggested. At 6:30 she called back to put our name on the "wait list" and was informed the wait would be "120 minutes". This baffles me. Why would you put your name on a "wait list" if the wait would be the same amount of time as if you just showed up?

So, we decided to go to my original restaurant choice, Esp0sito's. When we arrived at 7:30 there was no wait, and the food and desserts were fabulous. It was a good birthday dinner!

Saturday we prepared to have guests for dinner. (See my previous post entitled "Keeping my New Year's Resolution".) When we returned from the grocery store, we stuck with our strengths: I cleaned the house and set the table and Joe cooked. He made a pork tenderloin, mashed potatoes, gravy, peas, biscuits, and corn casserole. Our friends Doug and Jim were to bring dessert when they arrived at 7. The dinner (in the kitchen) was delicious and we had a wonderful time visiting with our friends. They are very sweet guys, and are also dog lovers, so they didn't seem to mind our over-affectionate beagle, Jordan.

Sunday morning we met Kerry, Hugh, and George for brunch at the Capitol City Brewing Company. In the summer we meet there and eat outside because they have large patio. But since it is February we ate indoors. It was fun to see them and to check up on George's post-surgery progress. George had knee surgery a little over a week ago and is doing great. It really helped his mobility. After brunch the three of them headed down the street to the theatre to see "Sideways". We would have liked to have joined them, but the movie would have ended a bit too late for us, as we needed to make another trip to the grocery store (forgot to get dog food) before getting ready for our Sunday dinner guests.

Clark and Mike arrived promptly at 5, bearing the gift of purple tulips. I love tulips! We had a cocktail and talked a bit while 'The Ethel Merman Disco album' played in the background. Yes, its true, Ethel Merman made a disco album. Joe and Mike are fans of The Merm, but I am not. However, this CD does have its entertainment value. Then we had a traditional Italian family Sunday dinner: rigatoni with meatballs and sausage, garlic bread, and salad. It's one of Joe's specialties that Mike & Clark have had before but crave from time to time. We ate in the kitchen and had a great time visiting with them, although we talked a lot about the sad state of politics and how gay people are being "used" by Republicans. They are great friends.

I've had more thoughts this week to share, but haven't had the time to sit down and properly organize my thoughts this week. Hopefully this coming week will be a little less hectic, at least away from work.