Wednesday, December 02, 2009


So, my birthday is coming up next Mon.

I like to celebrate my birthday because I didn't get to do so growing up. As you may recall, I was raised in the Jehovah's Witness religion where birthdays (and other holidays) are not celebrated. My 1st birthday celebration was when I turned 30, a few months after I came out.

Since my birthday is this coming Mon, I wanted to stay in town this weekend, go to all of the Christmas activities (parade, tree lighting, carol singing, etc.) in town, and have some friends over for a birthday dinner. However, this coming Sat is also the annual Manassas Christmas parade back in VA that we attend every year. The parade passes in front of our friends' house and they have a big parade-watching party. Its a lot of fun, but we have done this for many years so I thought that maybe we'd skip it this year in order to stay in town.

But then Spouse's mother decided that she wanted to celebrate her birthday (which is still 3 weeks away) this coming Sat, while Spouse & I were in VA for the Manassas Christmas parade. Her birthday is on Christmas eve, and we ALWAYS make sure to wrap her birthday gifts in birthday wrap and have a birthday cake for her on the 24th, her actual birthday. She is NEVER slighted on her birthday, just because it falls on Christmas eve. If anything, everyone remembers her birthday BECAUSE its on Christmas eve.

My birthday? Not so much. My birthday falls 1-2 weeks after Thanksgiving and everyone is in the mood for Christmas shopping, sending Christmas cards, and going to Christmas parties. No one remembers my birthday on Dec 7.

So I tried to get Spouse to agree to staying in town this weekend so we could do all the holiday stuff in town we've never done before, and also have my birthday dinner. But he felt bad about not going to the parade in VA like we always do, and didn't want to mess up his mom's birthday plans, 3 weeks before her actual birthday.

So after much discussion and no accommodation for MY birthday, I basically took a 'whatever' attitude and agreed to go to VA this weekend for the Manassas Christmas parade and his mom's birthday dinner.

Don't get me wrong: I have LOVED going to the Manassas Christmas parade in VA all these years, and will certainly enjoy it again this year. I also love celebrating his mom's birthday. She'll be 80 this year, which is a real accomplishment.

But going to the Manassas Christmas parade in VA every year means we miss out on the local activities that always occur on the same day. Just this one year I would have liked to attend the local Christmas parade, tree lighting, and carol singing. Plus, by staying in town it would also have allowed us to celebrate my birthday close to my actual birth day.

But Spouse's mother's early birthday celebration proved too much for Spouse to decide to stay in town. "Besides," he said "we can celebrate your birthday on another day.

Yeah, well that's kind of a problem. Going back to VA means we leave on Fri right after work, so we couldn't do it Fri night before my birthday. We won't be back in time on Sun to do it then. The following Fri, Sat, and Sun nights are all booked with holiday parties from friends who actually plan these kinds of things in advance. The following Fri & Sat nights are also booked.

Literally, the only viable option we could come up with was a birthday breakfast (who has a birthday breakfast??) at 9am on the Sat after my birthday. Of course, we'll make it work. Several friends are good sports and have RSVP'd already, saying they'll come, despite having to get up early on a Sat. It will be fun, I'm sure.

And then once everyone leaves, we'll quickly throw the left overs in the fridge and run out the door to a tree trimming party at 1:00, followed by another party at 7:00. It sorta feels like we're squeezing my birthday celebration in, I guess, because we are.

And here's the kicker: After the VA parade this Sat, we'll celebrate Spouse's mom's (early) birthday by having dinner at a restaurant she's chosen. Then when we return to VA for Christmas eve, we will celebrate her birthday AGAIN at Spouse's sister's house, like we always do, every year! She gets 2 parties and mine is preempted.

As you can tell, I'm still a little miffed by all of this. It almost makes me want to 'change' my birthday to Feb when nothing else is going on.

But if you know us in person, please don't mention any of this to Spouse, as he would NOT be happy that I'm tellin' all our bidness up in here on the internets. But this blog is my place so I am venting today.

Its not like this is a milestone birthday for me; I'll be 46. Big deal. I should probably quit my belly aching and just be grateful I have people in my life to celebrate with, right? Well that's what I'm going to do. Hissy fit cancelled. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Crush du Jour: Emmanuel Delcour


J@v@JuNKo said...

my best friend's mom was a JW so she missed out on lots too, even though she wasn't one herself. Its terrible that they don't celebrate birthdays and holidays!! I don't believe in religios but I can still enjoy holidays and celebrate occasions being together with family &friends and sharing love (and presents!!!) I'm glad you are celebrating yours now!! Not fair that the mom gets 2 parties!! whats with that!!

cb said...

Oh Cuss THAT! I know it's his momma and southern boys are glued to them at the hip, but no cussin' way!

Technically this is your 16th birthday which IS a milestone. And since you have been woefully shortchanged on the birthday thing, you think he would force you to move yours from the actual time.

That is some cussed up cuss!

I say, you stay in town and throw a celebration with friends. And he can decide whether to be your spouse or aommas boy.

Java said...

Feel better now? LOL - sometimes I feel better after a good rant, sometimes I feel worse.

My Diva turns 12 this Friday. It's tough having a birthday this close to Christmas. Mine is 4 weeks after Christmas, and when I was a kid my folks had trouble coming up with money for gifts or parties so soon after Christmas. They did what they could, though, and I was fine with it.

Tell ya' what, since I don't really like to celebrate my birthday, I'll give it to you. You can have my allotted birthday celebration time in mid-January. It isn't YOUR birthday, but it is A birthday, and I don't want to use it. You're welcome to it.

Biki Honko said...

This is my take on your birthday lack of celebration. Next year take the bull by the horns and PLAN IT YOURSELF. Send out your invitations weeks in advance, and talk about your plans to everyone, often and loudly.

My birthday falls in August, sounds like a good month right? Na, tis not, everyone is busy with summer stuff. So, this year when I turned the big 50! (yikes!) I started about 6 weeks or better about demanding a birthday party. And this year I finally got one.

Don't ask, tell everyone what you want.
And our oldest, his birthday is on Dec 8!

Anonymous said...

My birthday is November 24th. I downplay it most of the time since I'm now well over 40 years old. It's time to do this when the candles on the cake start to represent a fire hazard.

Anyhow, every 4 or 5 years it falls right on Thanksgiving. 2011 is the next time that happens. Then 2016 after that.

Anonymous said...

I was with you at first but 80 is a milestone year. I think once you hit 70 every 5th year is a milestone.

Celebrate her's this year, spouse should make an effort to make it a double birthday bash. Make it clear that next year will be at home.

My goddaughter's birthday is 12/30. Early on, I made the campaign that her birthday be celebrated June 30. Her family never bought into it but every year, we have a special day with cake, presents, dinner and a movie/event. It has become a very special memory for us and we always invite friends and family BUT only if they bring gifts.

Happy Birthday!!

Anonymous said...

I hope you have a great birthday. Just doing something for yourself on that day makes it special!

Angel said...

welllllll.......I rememebred that your birthday was on the 7th!!! and I will celebrate here, for you, all by myself!! XOXOX

but you are a good man to go to celebrate someone else's birthday like are SO not a selfish person mark...and I'm sure spouse will make it up to you somehow...right? ;)

Ilove you mark and I miss you both terribly!!!

tornwordo said...

I think at the restaurant, you should both get the birthday desert with the sparkler on top. Lemons, lemonade kind of thing.

Victor said...

Whatever happens, have a terrific birthday on Monday and more in the years afterwards.

Anonymous said...

It's still a few hours early, but happy birthday!