So yesterday, with his birthday just 1 week away, I asked him again what he wanted to do for his birthday. I even emailed him 3 different suggestions I thought of during the day yesterday. He didn't respond. Again last night when I inquired, he was undecided.
Today he came home from work at lunch time, taking 1/2 a day off because work was so slow, the weather is gorgeous, and he has lots of leave. He wanted me to take the afternoon off too, so we could go to the beach, but I had work commitments and couldn't do it. Instead we decided to walk to a local spot for lunch, and on the way I asked him what he thought of the 3 celebration suggestions in my email. He said he didn't want to do anything to celebrate his birthday.
I reminded him they were just suggestions, and that I was open to pretty much anything else he wanted to do. After a significant pause he restated he didn't really want to do anything for his birthday, and said "We didn't do anything for your last birthday, did we?"
"Well, I got Big Ella just before my birthday so I told you not to spend any more money for my birthday" I answered.
Then as we sat waiting for our lunch to be served, completely out of the blue, Spouse indicated that he didn't know why but that he felt kind of 'down' yesterday and today.
I immediately connected this confession to his lack of desire to celebrate his birthday.
So now I really don't know what to do. Today he said he didn't want to do anything to celebrate his birthday, so that gets me off the hook. But that could be because he's feeling a little 'down'. What if he gets over it tomorrow and would be open to doing something for his birthday, but I haven't scheduled anything because he said not to?
What would you do?
Crush du Jour: Don Diamont
14 comments:
How about celebrating his b-day with a quiet dinner for two at home, maybe watching a favorite movie or have his fave music playing? And a great dessert? That is a kind of in-between, for you are marking the day but not making a to-do with others involved.
It's interesting but I think that might be an Italian thing.
Here's why I say that. When it's Keyron's birthday he always gets a cake, etc. But for mine, since it falls so close to Thanksgiving, I could care less if we celebrate or not. The Thanksgiving feast is plenty. The year 2011 is when my birthday falls right on Thanksgiving again. About every 5 or so years that happens.
Is this a milestone birthday for spouse? I think doing nothing isn't a good idea but going overboard isn't either. Howard's suggestion is good; his favorite meal, music, dessert, movie, etc. And sometimes it's the little things that lets someone know how dear they are to us.
Or you could throw caution to the wind and give him any one of your crushes du jours! *wink*
As a I am a Cancer just like spouse, let me translate. He really does mean it right now when he says nothing. He will change his mind about this on his birthday. He might not say anything because you should know him well enough to figure this out.
Bottom line? Go with Howard's idea.
I completly understand your dilemma. The Husband always asks that I do NOTHING for his birthday.
So... I give him a birthday week with a little stuff each day: a book, a CD, a love note, cards mailed via the Us Postal Service, make dinner (unusual), make the bed. Then, when the birthday week is over... he is on his own.
It's a toughie, but maybe something small but with friends. Going out and eating, and just having fun. But you have to plan it.
Take him to dinner at his favorite restaurant.
Howard already gave my suggestion. Don't feel like you have to plan anything huge -- sometimes the most memorable things are the simplest. Personally, I hate anything that even approaches celebrating my birthday, but The Fella made it a quiet "just us" evening this year and it was really nice.
Best of luck and here's hoping the Spouse's b-day is a happy one!
I vote for Bugsy's idea. Dinner at a favorite restaurant and a couple of small gifts for him to open when you get home.
I'm thinking SURPRISE PARTY!!!! Pop him outta that funk!
I agree with Howard. A nice romantic dinner for two at home, with maybe a small something-something he might like.
Not a big deal, not a small deal.
I am with Howard- why not create a special all about him Romantic dinner, drive, walk- whatever it is he loves! That way it doesn't have to be just about the birthday but about doing something nice for him when he is in a funk...
My husband doesn't want to celebrate his birthday- so I discretely give him gifts he covets, make him a nice dinner, stock the fridge with his favorite snacks, etc. it works out pretty well
I'm late reading this so will find out what you did. I would have done what Howard suggested or gone out to dinner and special gifts either way.
I was thinking what Howard suggested. Having more people over would probably aggrevate him and ruin the time with the guests. Time to make a memorable and special one.
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