Tales of the Sissy

Worst. Day. Ever.

2009-12-09T12:06:00.005-05:00

So, Mon was my birthday. I was hoping for a typical, 'normal' Mon at work, which would allow me to check Facebook at least 150 times to read birthday messages from friends, followed by a delightful evening driving Big Ella in the Hometown Christmas parade in Rehoboth Beach.

But such was not in the cards for me that day.

While taking Jordan for her morning walk around the block, she decided to poop in front of a neighbor's house, which is not the end of the world since I always pick up after her with a plastic bag, but I prefer she not do it directly in front of someone's house. But she did, and as she was pushin' one out, the neighbor's door opened and she and her 2 young boys came out of house. The mom reminded the boys that they had seem me the night before in the Lewes parade, but the 2 boys were riveted on Jordan's pooping. A bomb could have gone off and they wouldn't have noticed. With my plastic bag over my hand I leaned over to pick up the poop. But that b*tch cranked her head around and tried to eat her poop in front of the neighbors!

She got 1/2 of it in her mouth before I could yank her leash (I was bent over) and shout at her, all in front of the neighbor and her 2 young sons, in front of their house. The neighbor tried to distract the boys and told them to go ahead and jump in the car and buckle up, and I wished them a fun day at school. For the 1/8 of a second that I took my eyes off of Jordan to wave to the boys, she walked around in front of me and spit out the poop. Since she was in front of me I deduced that she was now ready to continue her walk, so I began to walk, and stepped right in the poop.

Happy birthday!!

I tried to clean my shoe as best I could with the inside of the poop bag so I wouldn't track it all over the neighborhood, but it was of no use. I was so mad I practically dragged her home, cleaned my shoe, and told her she wasn't getting any milkbones because she tried to eat her poop. Trust me, she understands a lot more than she lets on.

So I start working and things are bad right away. A client wanted to change something minutes before their launch, which took place before my work day began. I get a handle on things, explain what can/can't be done now, etc. Then client #2 called while I'm still on the phone with client #1, and left a lengthy voice mail about how they've all but lost confidence that their program will go smoothly due to all the problems they've had. Because I'm unable to return the call right away, client #2 calls 2 of my colleagues and whines to them about it, blowing everything out of proportion and making me look bad. I literally spent 1/2 my day calming them down, gently explaining that everything was okay, and assuring them their event would be fine, etc.

Meanwhile, its now after 1:00 and I haven't eaten anything all day, and I get an email from Finance telling me I have until 3:00 to complete my part of a financial project. I estimate I just might be able to get it done in time if I don't stop to do anything else, like read/respond to emails, eat, or use the bathroom. I work as quickly and accurately as I possibly can and make it just under the deadline. Its now 3:00, I still haven't eaten, but I take a minute to go to the bathroom before jumping back on the phone with client #2 who'd already monopolized 1/2 my day. I finish with them at 4:00 and remind myself that the detail shop (where Big Ella is waiting, all clean and shiny) closes at 5:00 so I must get there before 5:00.

Spouse comes home and takes me over to the detail shop at 4:45. Big Ella looks tres fab and I go inside to pay. As I hand the guy my card I see that I have a spot on the front of my jacket. 'Hmm, what's this?' I wonder to myself. Oh... my... god. Its dog poop, on my jacket, as I'm trying to pay for Big Ella's wash-n-wax.

Happy birthday!!

As I exit the detail shop I check the time and feel OK. I've got 1 hour to go home, grab a quick bite to eat, pick out a different jacket, put the batteries in the lighted wreath and attach it to Big Ella's grill, and get to the parade line-up spot. I should be fine.

I turn the key in the ignition and Big Ella cur-wurs a few times but doesn't start. I'm not panicking yet because cars built before electronic ignition usually take longer to start. I try again and the cur-wurs get slower and weaker. Now I'm starting to panic. The guys from the detail shop come out and we agree they'll connect their portable battery charger to my battery so I can get her started and not drain my battery. This still doesn't work. I realize that even if I get Big Ella started now with assistance, I won't be able to turn her off. Besides, I'd need to get more gas if I were to have her engine running for 2-3 hours, but I can't turn off the engine at the gas station with confidence that she'll start again. I try a couple more times to start her but she cur-wurs weakly and the detail shop guys shake their heads. It becomes clear that driving her in the parade is not going to happen.

Happy birthday!!!

I called Spouse who came and picked me up and continued to ask me questions like "What's the matter?" "Why won't she start?" "Is there any gas in there?" "Do you want to try and jump start her with my car?" "What do you think the problem is?" Trying hard to choke back my anger, frustration, and disappointment I calmly said "I don't know. I'm not a mechanic. We'll have to have her towed to a mechanic to find out what's wrong."

So my hope for a typical, 'normal' Mon at work with plenty of time to check Facebook and read emails, followed by a delightful time driving Big Ella in the Christmas parade went to hell in a hand basket.

The one thing I thought would make up for having such a horrible day was to drive Big Ella in that parade. Now the day appeared to have no hope of redemption what-so-ever. I was so thoroughly distraught I couldn't see straight.

It was unequivocally my worst birthday ever.

The only thing that 'saved' the day from being a complete and total disaster was my friends. Since I was supposed to be in the parade, I declined an invitation to join some friends for burgers, but Spouse had accepted. Now that I was suddenly 'available' I joined Spouse and the gang for burgers and conversation. We talked and laughed enough to coax me down from the ledge.

Tues morning I called roadside assistance and arranged for a flatbed truck to carry Big Ella to the mechanic's shop. Hopefully it won't be too expensive.

Crush du Jour: Joe Cada

Weekend highlights

2009-12-08T14:20:00.001-05:00

We arrived at Spouse's mom's house in VA at about 9:00 Fri night and visited with her until bedtime.

Sat morning we picked up my aunt Mary and headed to Kerry & Hugh's for the Manassas Christmas parade. It was raining when we picked up Mary, but it changed over to snow by the time we got to Kerry & Hugh's. It was the wet snow that hangs heavily in the trees. It really was beautiful! We wondered if they'd call off the parade due to the weather, but they didn't, and the scene couldn't have been more picturesque.

I forgot my camera so I got these photos from my friend Liz. (All photos will expand when clicked.) Here's one of several high school marching bands.
Notice how they all have on clear plastic to keep their uniforms from getting wet, but still allowing the uniforms to be seen. I loved that!

Here is me, Kelly, Spouse (clutching his non-existent pearls), and aunt Mary watching the parade from Kerry & Hugh's front porch. The parade goes right down their street.

Here's one of many floats.

Here are some folks on horses.

They had a teenager follow them with a poop-scoop so the parade contingents that followed wouldn't step in anything.

One of the parade sponsors gave out these funny elf hats to everyone, so Spouse donned his for this photo op.

Aint he a cutie?

The parade ran from 10:00-12:00 and we hung around for a little while afterward and visited. Then we stopped for lunch on our way out of town, then headed back to Spouse's mom's house.

My aunt Mary and I visited with Spouse's mom while Spouse went to his sister's house and made home made ravioli. His sister will freeze them and then we'll have them for dinner on Christmas day. Making pasta with his sister is a Christmas tradition Spouse really enjoys.

When he returned he took a short nap (of course) and then we all got ready to go out for Spouse's mom's birthday dinner (3 weeks early, not that I'm still bitter). All 5 of her children were there, along with most spouses and grandchildren. She chose Bonefish Grill which was very crowded. Despite having made a reservation several days in advance, we still had to wait almost 20 minutes to be seated. I had Lily's Chicken and thought it was fine; definitely not as exciting as the ingredients implied. But the service was excellent. Afterward we all went back to her house and visited. Spouse & I took aunt Mary back to her place.

Sun morning Spouse's sister came over and the 3 of us and his mom went out to breakfast, then did a little shopping at the Home Goods and World Market stores, which we like a lot but do not have here in DE. Literally for years Spouse has been looking for lightweight (not stoneware) plain white dishes, and we finally found them at Home Goods: 12 dishes in a box for $19.99, so we got 2 boxes. These will be great when we have holiday dinners and dinner parties. We also got a very cute ottoman for our dressing room, on clearance for $36. All in all it turned out to be a very productive shopping expedition.

We left Spouse's mom's just before 2:30 and got home just before 5:00. I fired up Big Ella so I could drop her off at the detail shop so she could get a wash-n-wax on Mon, in preparation for being in the Hometown Christmas Parade in Rehoboth Beach Mon evening. But as we headed out we saw that the road was blocked by a police barricade. The Lewes Christmas parade had been postponed from Sat evening to Sun evening due to heavy rain and wind. So I circled around and made my way to the start of the parade and got one of the officers to let me join the Christmas parade which had just started! Big Ella wasn't particularly shined up, nor was she decorated for Christmas, but onlookers seemed to appreciate her just the same. She received lots of compliments and accolades, and it was really fun.

Afterward, Spouse followed me to the detail shop where we left Big Ella, then we went to the store, had dinner at Ledo Pizza, and returned home to watch a little TV before going to bed early.

Crush du Jour: John Salutare

Monday, Monday...

2009-12-07T13:34:00.001-05:00

Work has been a BEAR today, and not the hot/hairy kind either, so my ultra-exciting weekend highlights will be postponed until tomorrow's post. I know, I can hear the disappointment in your sighs, but it simply can't be helped.

Immediately after work Big Ella & I will be heading over to line up for the Hometown Christmas Parade in Rehoboth Beach.

Oh yeah, today's my birthday.

Crush du Jour: Charlie Cox

Friday fragments

2009-12-04T13:20:00.001-05:00

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

I haven't started my holiday cards yet, but I received my 1st Christmas card/photo already. Its from Tiger Woods and his lovely wife!

Fellow blogger Gallus made a video to wish his readers "Hunky Holidays", and I thought you guys would like it, too. Check out his blog for lot of great photos (many are NSFW) and other fun stuff.

"Family Ties" mom and Lifetime movie actress Meredith Baxter has come out as a lesbian. After being married (to men) 3 times and having 5 kids, she's apparently got it right this time and has been in a relationship for 4 years now. She was recently spotted on a gay cruise. Her announcement to Matt Lauer is here.

Those hirsute hotties known as Bearforce1 are back with a Christmas medley you won't want to miss. Enjoy!

Not one, but TWO friends sent me this photo because they knew I'd get a kick out of it: I've also seen it on at least 3 blogs that I read regularly. Great minds think a like.

On Tues the City Counsel for Washington DC (not a state) voted to extend marriage to same sex couples! Its not quite a 'done deal' though, as this article explains, but it is certainly a step in the right direction.

Thanks to Bob for turning me onto this funny yet simultaneously annoying video of Oprah screaming the names of celebrities she's introduced to her audience over the last 25 years. Its crazy!

Here's wishing everyone a terrific weekend.

Crush du Jour: Brent Banes

Christmas decorating

2009-12-03T16:44:00.003-05:00

Its unlike me, but I've not been in the mood to decorate for Christmas this year.

Normally by now we'd have our tree up and decorated, an 8-10 hour process which usually spans 2-3 days. We'd have white lights wrapped around the spindles of our front porch. We'd have our framed family photos removed from the mantel and replaced with candles and Christmas decorations. We'd have holiday votives, stuffed snowmen, and other assorted decor strewn throughout the house. We'd have both of those 'lovely' (tongue in cheek) silver fiber optic Christmas trees that change colors in our family room and TV room. There would be a wreath on the front and back of our front door and side door, and Spouse's Christmas cookie jar collection would be displayed on the kitchen counters. I would have started writing and addressing the holiday cards.

As of today, none of that's happened. And since we're leaving tomorrow after work for VA and will be gone the entire weekend, it won't be happening this weekend either. I've just not been in the mood to do it.

Although holiday depression is very common, I don't believe that's my problem. I was excited enough about driving Big Ella in 2 Christmas parades to call and enter. Unfortunately one of them was supposed to be last night, when we were having torrential rain and near tornado winds. The other one is next Mon, on my birthday.

When I talked to Spouse about my uncharacteristic nonchalance about holiday decorating, he said "I know why. The house was in disarray for over 5 months. We just got it all put back together and cleaned, so the idea of pulling out all those decorations isn't appealing to you."

By Job, I think he's right. Now that the addition is done, the furniture and rugs are all put back where they belong, and the housekeeper has been here twice, the house is finally back to normal and I don't feel like upsetting that again.

Additionally, since we're not having a holiday party this year, there's even less incentive to pull out all those decorations and set them up/put them out. Maybe we won't do it this year.

I sort of hinted to Spouse that maybe we'd just skip all the decorating this year since we're not having a party, will be busy every weekend in Dec, and will be back in VA for 4 days over Christmas. He bawked and said that at a minimum we would put up our tree and decorate it. But the longer we wait to do it, the less I'm going to want to do it.

I wonder if I can talk him into just setting up those 2 silver fiber optic trees, side by side in the living room and calling it a day...

Crush du Jour: Justin Bartha

Birthday

2009-12-02T12:25:00.002-05:00

So, my birthday is coming up next Mon.

I like to celebrate my birthday because I didn't get to do so growing up. As you may recall, I was raised in the Jehovah's Witness religion where birthdays (and other holidays) are not celebrated. My 1st birthday celebration was when I turned 30, a few months after I came out.

Since my birthday is this coming Mon, I wanted to stay in town this weekend, go to all of the Christmas activities (parade, tree lighting, carol singing, etc.) in town, and have some friends over for a birthday dinner. However, this coming Sat is also the annual Manassas Christmas parade back in VA that we attend every year. The parade passes in front of our friends' house and they have a big parade-watching party. Its a lot of fun, but we have done this for many years so I thought that maybe we'd skip it this year in order to stay in town.

But then Spouse's mother decided that she wanted to celebrate her birthday (which is still 3 weeks away) this coming Sat, while Spouse & I were in VA for the Manassas Christmas parade. Her birthday is on Christmas eve, and we ALWAYS make sure to wrap her birthday gifts in birthday wrap and have a birthday cake for her on the 24th, her actual birthday. She is NEVER slighted on her birthday, just because it falls on Christmas eve. If anything, everyone remembers her birthday BECAUSE its on Christmas eve.

My birthday? Not so much. My birthday falls 1-2 weeks after Thanksgiving and everyone is in the mood for Christmas shopping, sending Christmas cards, and going to Christmas parties. No one remembers my birthday on Dec 7.

So I tried to get Spouse to agree to staying in town this weekend so we could do all the holiday stuff in town we've never done before, and also have my birthday dinner. But he felt bad about not going to the parade in VA like we always do, and didn't want to mess up his mom's birthday plans, 3 weeks before her actual birthday.

So after much discussion and no accommodation for MY birthday, I basically took a 'whatever' attitude and agreed to go to VA this weekend for the Manassas Christmas parade and his mom's birthday dinner.

Don't get me wrong: I have LOVED going to the Manassas Christmas parade in VA all these years, and will certainly enjoy it again this year. I also love celebrating his mom's birthday. She'll be 80 this year, which is a real accomplishment.

But going to the Manassas Christmas parade in VA every year means we miss out on the local activities that always occur on the same day. Just this one year I would have liked to attend the local Christmas parade, tree lighting, and carol singing. Plus, by staying in town it would also have allowed us to celebrate my birthday close to my actual birth day.

But Spouse's mother's early birthday celebration proved too much for Spouse to decide to stay in town. "Besides," he said "we can celebrate your birthday on another day.

Yeah, well that's kind of a problem. Going back to VA means we leave on Fri right after work, so we couldn't do it Fri night before my birthday. We won't be back in time on Sun to do it then. The following Fri, Sat, and Sun nights are all booked with holiday parties from friends who actually plan these kinds of things in advance. The following Fri & Sat nights are also booked.

Literally, the only viable option we could come up with was a birthday breakfast (who has a birthday breakfast??) at 9am on the Sat after my birthday. Of course, we'll make it work. Several friends are good sports and have RSVP'd already, saying they'll come, despite having to get up early on a Sat. It will be fun, I'm sure.

And then once everyone leaves, we'll quickly throw the left overs in the fridge and run out the door to a tree trimming party at 1:00, followed by another party at 7:00. It sorta feels like we're squeezing my birthday celebration in, I guess, because we are.

And here's the kicker: After the VA parade this Sat, we'll celebrate Spouse's mom's (early) birthday by having dinner at a restaurant she's chosen. Then when we return to VA for Christmas eve, we will celebrate her birthday AGAIN at Spouse's sister's house, like we always do, every year! She gets 2 parties and mine is preempted.

As you can tell, I'm still a little miffed by all of this. It almost makes me want to 'change' my birthday to Feb when nothing else is going on.

But if you know us in person, please don't mention any of this to Spouse, as he would NOT be happy that I'm tellin' all our bidness up in here on the internets. But this blog is my place so I am venting today.

Its not like this is a milestone birthday for me; I'll be 46. Big deal. I should probably quit my belly aching and just be grateful I have people in my life to celebrate with, right? Well that's what I'm going to do. Hissy fit cancelled. You may now return to your regularly scheduled programming.

Crush du Jour: Emmanuel Delcour

World AIDS Day

2009-12-01T13:00:00.001-05:00

I feel quite fortunate that I have not lost many friends to AIDS. Most of my good fortune likely comes from the fact that I came out later in life, after AIDS prevention efforts were in place, and most of my friends were practicing safer sex.

But some of my older friends are not so fortunate. Some of them have lost many friends to AIDS, and so in solidarity I am observing a moment of silence in their honor, and suggest you do the same.

Since my little seaside area has a higher-than-usual percentage of GLBT residents, there are several World AIDS Day activities going on today:

HIV+ artists exhibit and reception
candlelight vigil
Service of Remembrance and Hope
Dinner (following Service)

Are you participating in any World AIDS Day activities?

Crush du Jour: Jon Foster

Holiday weekend highlights

2009-11-30T22:30:00.003-05:00

While many of you busily put up your Christmas trees and decorated the exterior of your houses, Spouse & I were lazy and just enjoyed the weekend.

Sat we took Big Ella out for some exercise, we went to lunch, stopped at the grocery store, watched TV, and Spouse napped. Steven & Thad, their friend Joe, and The Bobs came over for dinner. We purposely made extra Thanksgiving food so we could have it again with our friends. Amazingly, after 5 people at on Thanksgiving and 7 people at on Sat, we STILL have Thanksgiving left overs. But they're so tasty I don't mind. I had some for lunch today and put the rest in the freezer. We had a really nice evening with the guys and I was surprised at how quickly the time flew by. We ate in the dining room and used our 'good' dishes, glasses, silverware, and serving pieces. It was fun!

Sun morning we met Rick & Nick for brunch at 10 (we drove Big Ella). It was surprisingly warm and very sunny; we didn't even need a jacket. We took Jordan for a nice, long walk, then decided to go for a convertible ride with the top down, of course. I washed the last of the casserole dishes and played around on the computer while Spouse napped. Then we went to Rick & Nick's to watch a movie on their theatre-size screen. First we watched Kathy Griffin's "Balls of Steel" stand-up comedy act, which was great! I love Kathy Griffin! Then we watched "Stardust", which I'd never heard of before, but apparently was in the theatres for at least a week. We enjoyed it.

Its amazing how quickly a 4-day weekend can pass. I'm already looking forward to having some days off for Christmas.

Crush du Jour: Eion Bailey

Friday fragments

2009-11-27T04:30:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

Thanksgiving was different this year for us. Since Spouse & I have been together (over 13 years) this is the 1st Thanksgiving that his sister (his favorite sibling) and her husband and children were not with us. They went to NC to be with her husbands' family. So it was a smaller, more quiet holiday for us, but it was still very enjoyable. Spouse's mom, brother, and sister-in-law came and we had a delicious meal and 'family time'. Spouse's lemon-herb roasted turkey was wonderful, as usual, and our side dishes included sweet potato shuffle and Paula Deen's corn casserole. We purposely made too much so we'd have lots of left overs. Tomorrow we're having some friends over for Thanksgiving left over dinner.

I'm just CRAZY for this video! Check it out - it is just one guy, using technology to 'clone' himself. Some people are so creative...

Do you ever feel like you blend into the scenery? Can't seem to get noticed in a crowd? Then get yourself one of these scarves:
A friend sent me this photo and it cracked me up!

Can I say just how much I CAN'T STAND Taylor Swift?

There was no Black Friday shopping for us today. We had no interest in being out in those crowded stores, risking getting trampled to death over a bargain.

Another friend sent me this photo, which I found to be pretty clever. Check out the location of the door knob.

Have a great weekend!

Crush du Jour: Matt Schiermeier

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-26T08:54:00.000-05:00

Here's wishing everyone a very happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy!

Here's one Thanksgiving 'tradition' I will NOT be participating in.

Crush du Jour: Randy Orton

Overheard in a restaurant

2009-11-25T22:13:00.001-05:00

Overheard in Dos Locos restaurant, Rehoboth Beach DE, on Tues night:

"So what did you decide about Thanksgiving?"

"Oh my god... my mother is just too much..."

"What happened?

"She tried to guilt me into hosting AGAIN. You know, I've hosted Thanksgiving for, like, the last 7 years... ever since my brother's wife tried to host that one time. Basically they provided the location and everyone else provided the food AND cleaned up afterward. And the poor doe doesn't EVEN know how to set a table. Its really just too tragic."

(Giggles)

"So after THAT debacle, Mom asked me to host the next year, and I did, and it was fabulous, and so every year since then its been me... cleaning the house for days, making all the food... and for the first few years I enjoyed doing it. Really, it was fun."

"So what happened?"

"Well, for one thing, it kept growing. Long lost aunts, forgotten cousins, Mom's next door neighbors - it was ridiculous. Pretty soon there were, like, 24 people coming for Thanksgiving dinner. Mom said she couldn't help it, and since I had such a big house, why not?"

"Well, that can be nice..."

"Not when there's bad kids. I don't understand how people can just bring bad kids to someone else's house. They're loud, they're messy, they write on your walls with crayon... OH YES! One of those little hellions wrote on my wall with a grape crayon! I swear, people with bad kids should just stay home! Politely turn down invitations if you can't get a sitter, people!!"

(More giggles.)

"Oh my god, then there was last year. I told my mom I really didn't want to host last year. I'd done several years in a row, the crowd kept getting bigger, it kept costing me more and more money, I just didn't want to do it, and I told her: 'Mom, I just don't want to host Thanksgiving this year', but she guilted me into it."

"What did she say?"

"First she said she'd give me money for some of the food, but I told her it wasn't just the money, it was all the work and shit. So then she let our a big sigh and said: 'Okay son. We'll just have KFC for Thanksgiving at your brother's house.'"

"Ooohhh, she's goooooooood..."

"Yeah, well it worked last year but its NOT working this year. Oh my god, last year was a DISASTER! As usual, I'd cleaned and cooked and baked FOR DAYS, everything was beautiful and delicious. We were actually having a nice time - us adults, in the dining room - while the kids were watching a DVD in the living room. Then all the sudden we hear this loud crashing sound."

"Uh oh..."

"So we go running into the living room and I can't believe my eyes. First off, my glass coffee table is off its base, like, across the room. Yes, the glass top is off of the base and its clear across the room. Then one of the parents notices red splatters on the sofa and carpet and starts freaking out: 'Oh my god, oh my god, who's bleeding?!?!'

"Jesus!"

"Well, it didn't take long to discover that the red splatters weren't blood, they were candle wax. There were half a dozen candles on the coffee table that had been burning for, like, 5 hours so they were all liquid. When the table went flying, so did those jars of hot wax. The parents were so relieved it was ONLY candle wax and not blood, they didn't even apologize. Do you know how hard it is to get red candle wax out of beige carpet and upholstery? By yourself, since the rest of the adults went back to the dining room to drink up the rest of my wine?"

"Did you ever find out why the table got knocked over?"

"Hmph. No. When I asked the little hellions about it as I tried to get the candle wax up, suddenly they all had amnesia... or laryngitis... or something. I'm telling you, it was a nightmare."

"You are too nice to those people."

"Yeah, well not anymore. I'm just tired of it, ya know? I'm tired of doing everything - putting all that effort into everything - for what? So I can feed a bunch of people and have my house torn apart? So this year I just told her, on the phone: 'Mom, I don't want to host Thanksgiving this year. I just don't want to do it.' There was this long silence, and finally she said: 'Okay, but what about Aunt Estelle?' 'What about her?' I said. 'Well, you know she's getting up there... she may not be... with us next Thanksgiving...'

"Daaaamn..."

"I know! I told you she was too much. But then it hit me: the answer. I had figured out the answer to how I could avoid hosting Thanksgiving without having to envision Mom and Aunt Estelle huddled around a bucket of fried chicken at my brother's, with the table set all wrong."

"Well???"

"A restaurant!!! We'll have Thanksgiving dinner at a restaurant! Everyone will pay their own way, the restaurant cleans up after everyone, and my house doesn't get trashed. I can't believe I didn't think of this years ago. Mom wasn't crazy about the idea at first, but I just kept coming up with all the positive reasons why it was the perfect thing to do. You know me, I can talk. And when I'm trying to save myself a lot of work and money by NOT hosting Thanksgiving, I could sell an icebox to an Eskimo. So she finally agreed to it and said she'd tell my brother... and Aunt Estelle... and all the rest of them. It'll be interesting to see how many actually show up, since it won't be FREE like the last 7 years!"

"You want another cocktail?"

"Sure."

Crush du Jour: Brandon Kent

A chance encounter

2009-11-24T11:52:00.003-05:00

Last Fri one of the guys Bryan brought a friend Dan with him to Fri Night Dinner with 'the usual suspects'. Dan lives about 2 hours from here but happened to be in town Fri night so he came along with Bryan.

During our dinner conversation Dan happened to mention that his business partner had been raised as a Jehovah's Witness. More for comedic value than anything else, I asked him "What's his name? Maybe I know him." Dan had no idea I was raised in the Jehovah's Witness religion, but he told me his business partner's name anyway (David H), and my eyes widened as big as saucers.

"Oh my god, I DO know him!" To be sure we weren't talking about different guys with the same name, I told Dan the city/state David's family moved to when we were kids, and then I remembered his parents' and sibling's names. Sure enough, it was the same guy!

David's parents and my parents were good friends and lived near one another when we were very young. My father officiated David's parents' wedding! David and I are the same age and were good friends too. Then when we were probably around 10 his family moved away, but they moved to a town not far from where my grandparents lived.

During the years when I was probably about 12-15 years old my parents would let me stay with my grandparents in the country for a couple weeks during summer break from school. I would help them with their garden and enjoy swimming at the 'Big Swimmin' Hole'. It was very rural and there were no other kids around, so one year my parents thought it might be nice if David H would stay with me at my grandparents' house for a few days. We had fun helping my grandparents, exploring in the woods, and swimming.

Since my grandparents' house was super tiny, it was decided that David and I would sleep in their old Shasta camper trailer in the back yard. (When you're that age the idea of sleeping in a camper seems a lot more fun that it does now.) I remember one night after David had fallen asleep, I slid my hand inside the waistband of his underwear ever-so-slowly and gently. It was so amazingly exhilarating when my fingertips reached his pubic hair. Dare I go any further? What if he wakes up? I slowly and carefully continued my exploration until I was sure my heavy breathing would wake him up, so I stopped. I don't think I slept at all that night.

I had no inclination at that time that David was gay. He was just a nice boy in the right place at the right time. Learning from Dan and Bryan that David was gay kind of surprised me. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen him. But David remembered.

Dan texted David: "I'm having dinner w/Bryan and someone who thinks he knows you, Mark in DE". David texted back: "Of course I remember Mark. The last time I saw him was at his grandmother's funeral (1990). His dad married my parents!"

I was so glad to learn that David was doing well. When someone leaves or gets kicked out of the JWs and their family is strict about following the rules like mine, not only do you lose touch with your family, but you have no connection to anyone else who may leave or get kicked out after you. So although David had been 'out' and out of the JWs for years, I had no way of knowing.

Sometimes old JW friends have contacted me in the past by calling Directory Assistance, looking me up in the phone book, and more recently using internet sites designed to help locate people. But both David and I were still JWs the last time we saw each other, so I guess neither of us even thought to look up the other once we'd exited the religion.

I'm just blown away at how a chance meeting with Dan (Bryan's friend) at dinner has allowed me to reconnect with David after all these years. We're now friends on Facebook too, and I am hoping to set up a face-to-face soon so we can catch up.

Crush du Jour: Simon Howard

Fun and productive weekend highlights

2009-11-23T14:15:00.003-05:00

Sometimes we spend our weekends having fun. Sometimes we spend our weekends doing productive things. But my favorite weekends are when we have fun AND do productive things. That was the kind of weekend we just had, and it was great!

I had a relaxing Sat morning drinking coffee and flipping back and forth between "Sell This House" and "My Big Amazing Renovation" (shows Spouse would rather not watch) while he was at his personal trainer appointment. After I showered, fed and walked the dog, and ran the dishwasher, Spouse came home and we went to lunch before doing a little shopping. We bought an old, dark-stained oak chest of drawers from an antiques and collectibles shop for our bathroom.
This will give us easier access to all of Spouse's health and beauty products. Although I'm usually not a big fan of oak furniture, this piece is stained dark and really coordinates nicely with the wainscoting and vanity.

I changed the sheets on our bed and then put on the new king size duvet and bedskirt we bought last summer, right after the addition started. Its amethyst in color, with a bronze border, and looks really nice with the area rug in our room. Since I still loved the queen size comforter set we used to have on our old bed, we decided to swap out a lesser quality comforter set upstairs with the one from our bedroom, which included taking the mattresses off the beds to change out the bedskirts. Definitely a 2-person job. Next I put up some temporary (paper) shades in the bathroom and closet windows so Spouse would finally start using those areas. Despite the fact that no one is looking in our windows, and even if they were they wouldn't be able to see us from the street on the 2nd floor, he feels every window should have a covering. I am temporarily obliging him while the stain glasses panels are being made.

Next we went to the storage unit and finally brought Big Ella home to live in her new garage. We'd been planning to do this for 2 weekends, but were unable due to my being sick one weekend and the film festival and rain the following weekend. She fits beautifully in her safe and dry home, with plenty of extra room for storage.

Our friend and neighbor Jared went with us to a glass blowing exhibit at Deb Appleby's studio. Then we had cocktails and a great dinner at Rigby's. I had pumpkin risotto with wild mushrooms, Spouse had beef stroganoff, and Jared had pasta bolognese. It was a really enjoyable night.

Sun morning Spouse & I had breakfast, then did a little more shopping at Wal-Mart and our fabulous Dollar Store. On the way home we stopped at the stained glass studio to get an update on our window inserts. They'd ordered a specific glass color they needed and had been told it was on back-order. Then when the supplier was ready to ship it there was some problem with having it delivered. The long and the short of it is that it will be at least another month before the window inserts are ready.

Once home, Spouse & I sorted through all of his health and beauty products, which had been temporarily stored in laundry baskets when the addition project began. Some stuff went into the trash, while the keepers were placed in clear, rectangular, plastic containers (from the Dollar Store) and then into the drawers of the new chest. We propped a vintage etched glass mirror on top to see if we like it before mounting it over the chest. Then I placed clean towels and new rugs (from Wal-Mart) in the guest bath, in preparation for our Thanksgiving houseguests. I washed some dishes and wiped off the counters before going to Five Guys for burgers and fries. Spouse was in the mood for cheeseburgers and I was in the mood not to cook them or clean up afterward.

And while all of this was going on, our yard guy Ray powerwashed the exterior of the house, our bikes, and all the porch furniture from both porches. What a difference! Its unbelievable how dirty the exterior of the house got from the neighbor's construction last year, the street reconstruction earlier this year, and our addition. But it looks clean and beautiful now.

So that was our fun and productive weekend. What did YOU do?

Crush du Jour: Pascal Elbe

Friday fragments

2009-11-20T13:40:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

Here's a great video I swiped from Sean's blog. Its clever and sexy at the same time, an irresistible combination in my opinion. Enjoy!

I have been rather vocal in real life and on this blog about people talking and texting while driving. Its dangerous and should be outlawed in every state. So you can imagine my joy when I received this cartoon in an email from a friend!
Brilliant, no?

I can always count on Bob and his blog to keep me up-to-date. Thanks to Bob, I learned that the writers and reporters laid off Mon from the Washington Blade have started a new GLBT newspaper called The Agenda. A limited edition is available at newsstands in the metro DC area today! Since the staff is currently working as volunteers, please consider assisting with the cost of printing, etc by 'buying a brick'. Our issues, told by our voices.

Another friend sent me this little ditty.

Spouse & I have no social plans this weekend (did I just hear an audible gasp?) so we are going to begin preparations for Thanksgiving. Only his mom and 1 brother and his wife are coming this year so it will be our smallest Thanksgiving ever. They're coming Thur morning and leaving sometime Fri. This is fine with me, as I am envisioning a quieter holiday followed by the weekend without overnight guests. This weekend we will get the house ready and buy all the Thanksgiving food.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Crush du Jour: Timothy Mandala

Logical

2009-11-19T14:59:00.002-05:00

I like to think of myself as calm, reasonable, and logical. I am not prone to emotional outbursts or hysterical knee-jerk reactions. But today I was close to the point of cheering when I read about 10-year old Will Phillips on Bob's blog.

It seems Will is a rather bright boy. Rather than mindlessly following the tradition of rotely standing and repeating the pledge of allegiance, Will actually thought about those words and decided he could not say them in good conscience.

Unfortunately his substitute teacher thought he was trying to be a bad ass by refusing to stand and repeat the pledge. After she badgered him about it for several days, Will had enough and had to tell her "With all due respect, you can jump off a bridge". This landed him in the principal's office.

Why, you may be wondering, was Will opposed to repeating the pledge of allegiance? Because the final phrase of it reads "...with liberty and justice for all". It seems Will and his family have gay and lesbian friends for whom liberty and justice only go so far. So to heighten awareness of his gay and lesbian friends' 2nd class status, he decided not to stand and repeat the pledge. For the full story, click here. To watch a video of Will and his dad interviewed on CNN, click here.

Imagine that: a bright, 10-year old boy who recognized the disconnect between the promises "for all" contained in the pledge of allegiance and the way GLBT people are actually treated in the US.

Wouldn't it be nice if our elected officials had the logic of this 10-year old boy?

Crush du Jour: Chace Utley

Intellectual property

2009-11-18T15:58:00.003-05:00

A strange thing happened this week. I was accused of infringing on someone's intellectual property rights.

What? Me???

A few months ago I wrote about a website that allows you to create custom t-shirts, mousepads, visors, and all kinds of gear. You can upload photos and/or you can type text to appear on your items. I created 2 different t-shirts for Spouse and me to wear to Big Ella's 1st vintage car show. Then I listed the items in the Marketplace so that others who like them could order them, too.

The shirts arrived, I loved them, Spouse & I wore them to the car show events, guys at the car show loved them, and all was right with the world. Until Mon.

On Mon I received the following email:
Thank you for your interest in Zazzle.com, and thank you for publishing products on Zazzle. Unfortunately, it appears that your product, Tail fins, contains content that is not suitable for printing at Zazzle.com. We will be removing this product from the Zazzle Marketplace shortly.

The details of the product being removed are listed below:
Product Title: Tail fins
Product Type: Shirt
Product ID: 235761238692587880
Result: Not Approved
Policy Violations: Design contains an image or text that infringes on intellectual property rights. We have been contacted by the intellectual property right holder and at their request we will be removing your product from Zazzle’s Marketplace due to intellectual property claims

We apologize for the inconvenience, a detailed description of the policies are located here. If you have any questions or concerns about the review of your product, please email us.

Regards,
Content Review Team
Zazzle.com, Inc.

The item in question is a black t-shirt with the words "got fins?" on it. I scratched my head for a moment and wondered how in the world someone could claim intellectual property rights on 2 common words found in any dictionary.

So I wrote to the Content Review Team:
I am puzzled by the email I received below, which claims that my t-shirt design's "image or text infringes on intellectual property rights". Does this mean that someone claims to have a copyright on the two words "got fins"? I find this hard to believe. Can you please tell me what a person or company has to provide to you to prove their claim to the intellectual property rights?

Sincerely,
Mark in DE

Today I got the following response to my email:
Thank you for your email. Please feel free to resubmit your designs as they seem to have been removed in error. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for using Zazzle.com.

So, apparently there was some mix-up about my supposed infringing on someone's intellectual property rights. They encourage me to resubmit my design since it was removed in error, yet my design still appears on their website.

I'm still a little confused, but I'm not going to invest anymore time or energy on it. My design is still there for the fin-loving masses or order.

If I were smarter and actually capable of infringing on someone's intellectual property rights I probably wouldn't have thought it so strange. But since I'm not, I did.

Crush du Jour: Marlon DiGregori

GLBT newspapers

2009-11-17T13:32:00.003-05:00

I was disappointed but not surprised to learn that the Washington Blade and several other GLBT newspapers owned by Window Media ceased operating yesterday. Some employees arrived at work Mon morning to find the locks had been changed.

There are likely several causes:

1. The economic downturn over the last year has resulted in many business closings and advertising budgets slashed. There are literally fewer professional advertisers than there used to be.

2. The general shift from newspapers to online news sources means there are fewer newspaper readers than before. This holds true for large mainstream papers like the Washington Post and New York Times. More and more people prefer obtaining their news online.

3. Internet dating/hook-up sites have all but replaced the use of personal ads in print newspapers. Those looking for love or just a booty call prefer the immediacy of placing an online ad versus waiting for a print ad to be published.

4. Mainstream newspapers now cover GLBT issues/interests more than ever before, rendering GLBT-specific papers less important.

While I understand and agree for the most part with items 1-3, I take issue with #4. It may be true that mainstream papers cover more GLBT issues than before, that doesn't mean they cover all of them or that they do a good, fair, or unbiased job of reporting on these issues. An online gay news source I visit published a story about a gay teen who was burned and decapitated. I could not find this story in the Washington Post or New York Times.

Its hard enough to combat apathy when people are informed, but I fear that without these GLBT-specific newspapers our community will be even less informed, and therefore less involved.

I vividly remember being in my late 20s when the internet was just starting to become available to household consumers. AOL was basically the only provider and they charged by the hour! (Yes, dear young ones, its true.) As I hungered for information about the gay community, I poured over each weekly edition of the Washington Blade. I depended on it to inform and educate me. I read articles about gay issues and concerns that were written by gay people.

Our issues; for us, by us.

I think Village Voice writer Michael Musto summed it up perfectly: “This was the gay community writing about itself, and that’s a voice we should never lose.”

Now, I realize that some of the 'our issues; for us, by us' can still be found in gay blogs. Bob and others do a great job of making us aware of issues that concern the GLBT community.

But it is important to remember that bloggers are not held to the same standards as professional reporters. Bloggers can and do write opinions that may or may not be factual. Reporters who work for newspapers and TV news shows have to be able to back up their stories with facts. Reputable news sources employ people called fact checkers to verify the details of the stories they run.

Although I'm sure they have no ill-intent, most bloggers have day jobs and do not have the time or resources to validate everything they write. Most don't create original news content; they repost news content found elsewhere. So where will the gay bloggers go to research or validate their info, now that 1/2 a dozen gay newspapers have folded?

My hope is that some of the talented and dedicated gay reporters who used to work for the Washington Blade, South FL Blade, Southern Voice, and Houston Voice will find a way to continue writing professional, factual articles online.

I believe we need to hear about GLBT issues from GLBT people.

What do you think? Do you think GLBT have become so integrated into general society that our issues are sufficiently covered by mainstream news sources?

Crush du Jour: Lambert Wilson

Film Festival: day 4

2009-11-16T14:36:00.004-05:00

Here are the Festival's film synopsis, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday.

Off and Running
Avery is a typical Brooklyn teen living in an atypical, United Nations-style melting pot. Her adoptive parents are white Jewish lesbians, her younger brother is Korean, her older brother is mixed-race, and she is black. Though her family is loving, she can’t quite quell her curiosity about her biological African-American roots. The decision to contact her birth mother sparks a complicated exploration of race and identity. As Avery’s self-awareness increases, the question of racial identity takes center-stage. The more she searches for answers about her biological family, the more emotionally charged and distant from her current family she becomes. She maintains her position on the school track team, but drops out of high school and eventually leaves home. Avery’s constant displacement—whether it was at her Jewish elementary school, or among black friends, or even at home—informs her difficult journey, objectively documented by director Nicole Opper. Most impressive is Opper’s poised camera, able to capture honest and articulate conversations between Avery and her incredibly attentive brother Rafi. Off and Running is a unique and very American coming-of-age story that delves into the psyche of race through a fresh and careful dissection of a family’s struggle.

I found this documentary to be very interesting yet heart-wrenching. With loving, supportive parents and a natural talent for track and field, Avery seems to have more advantages than most adopted kids, yet she becomes hopelessly sidetracked by her quest to find and get to know her birth mother. When Avery drops out of high school and gets pregnant it really made me wonder if kids should be allowed to pursue finding their birth parents prior to graduation. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this a 4.

Marcello Marcello
A heartwarming and whimsical romantic comedy, set on a fictional Italian island in 1956, follows the fortunes of young Marcello, the son of a fisherman, who pines for the affection of the lovely Elena. Two things stand in Marcello’s way, the first being that Elena is the mayor’s daughter. The second is more elaborate: according to island tradition, the father of an 18-year old girl ready to meet suitors can choose the suitor based on what is basically a bribe—the best gift to the father results in a date with the daughter. So, what does Marcello come up with? And what does Elena think of Marcello? Rabaglia brings a sunny attitude to a sunny story, set in an unbelievably gorgeous (and, yes, sunny) place. His steadily accumulating narrative builds to an effective and satisfying climax. A terrifically and innocently romantic story of young love, told against the backdrop of a pre-modernized world where the pursuit of love reigns supreme, Marcello Marcello is a winning and winsome film.

This was a beautifully filmed and delightful story. Although Marcello despises his village's tradition, he is unable to resist vying for the opportunity to be with Elena. But to ensure his gift to Elena's father is the best, clever Marcello must make deals with half the village's population! Funny and romantic, this film is a sure bet. On a scale of 1-5, I gave it a 4.5.

Hannah Free

Starring Sharon Gless (Queer as Folk, Cagney & Lacey) in a tremendous performance, Hannah Free tells the story of a decades-long love affair between Hannah, an adventurous, butch lesbian with gruff charm, and Rachel, a pristine, married homemaker with a religious upbringing. Set in a present day nursing home, Hannah is forbidden from seeing the Rachel, due to her not being “family.” Through a series of flashbacks and past incarnations that Hannah imagines in her old age, the viewer is treated to the passionate beginnings of their relationship, which was both tumultuous and enduring. Hannah manages to convey the introspection that comes with age, while still being spunky and sharp. Though Hannah is out and unashamed while Rachel is much more reserved, both characters are revealed to be courageous in entirely different ways. The film easily questions matters of same-sex partners’ rights, the definition of family, and the difficulties surrounding seeing your loved ones become old and fragile.

This was a complex and beautiful film that had me in tears at the end. While Hannah suffers from a lifelong case of wanderlust, Rachel can only be happy in the safety of home. This film shows that although two people love each, they sometimes love in different ways and need different kinds of love. While Rachel's last days are spent in a room just down the hall, Hannah is unable to be with her until and unlikely person assists her and allows her to say goodbye for the last time. Highly recommended! On a scale of 1-5 I give this a 6. What a fitting way to end my film festival experience!!

Crush du Jour: Johnathon Schaech

Film Festival: day 3

2009-11-15T23:38:00.003-05:00

Here are the Festival's film synopsis, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday.

Prodigal Sons
Filmmaker Kimberly Reed dives headfirst into an unflinching portrait of her family that is absolutely engrossing and marks her coming-out, in more ways than one. Returning home to a small town in Montana for her high school reunion, Reed hopes for reconciliation with her long-estranged adopted brother. But along the way Prodigal Sons uncovers stunning revelations, including a blood relationship with Orson Welles and Rita Hayworth, intense sibling rivalries and unforeseeable twists of plot and gender. Reed’s rare access delicately reveals not only the family’s most private moments, but also an epic scope as the film travels from Montana to Croatia, from jail cell to football field, from deaths to births. Reed’s compassionate vérité style of filmmaking captures the lives of her family in such an organic way that their exceptional and challenging stories puncture the surface of our expectations. Questions of sexual orientation, identity, severe trauma and family love are effortlessly explored as the subjects freely open up their lives to the camera. Raw, emotional and provocative, Prodigal Sons offers a moving, illuminating examination of one family’s struggle to come to terms with its past and present.

This documentary was chock full of intricate family relationship issues, which I found to be very interesting but also heart-wrenching at times. Kim seems burdened not only with her own issues as a transgender woman, but with those of her adopted older brother, whose teenage head injury and emotional baggage has left him feeling like the consummate victim. Very real; very gripping. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this a 4.

Big Gay Musical
Paul & Eddie have just begun previews for the new Off-Broadway musical Adam & Steve: Just the Way God Made ‘Em. Their lives strangely mirror the characters they are playing; Paul is looking for the perfect man and Eddie is dealing with how his sexuality and faith can mix. After yet another disastrous dating experience, Paul has an epiphany. He is done dating & just wants to be a slut like the sexy chorus boys that share his dressing room. Eddie has to tell his parents that he’s gay and is starring in a show that calls the Bible the “Breeder’s Informational Book of Living Examples.” Eddie comes out to his family and Paul goes on the internet. Eddie’s parents are destroyed by the news and Paul can’t even have a good one-night stand. But after musical numbers with scantly-clad tap dancing angels, a retelling of Genesis, “teleevangelists”, a camp that attempts to turn gay kids straight and a bunch of show tunes, everyone realizes that life gets better once they accept who they really are: just the way God made ‘em!

This was a silly, fun film full of major eye candy and cleverly funny lyrics. Don't expect a complicated plot; just enjoy the scenery. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this a 3.5.

10% Shorts, consisting of:
A Day at the Beach
Boy Meets Boy
Clouded
The Island
Falling for Caroline
James
Make A Mate
Little BFFs
Evelyn Everyone
Second Guessing Grandma
For a short description of each 'short', consult the program guide. I was disappointed my most of the shorts. I really only liked 4 out of the 10. If I had been on the panel to select which shorts would be seen, I would have only voted to show Falling for Caroline, James, Evelyn Everyone, and Second Guessing Grandma.

Crush du Jour: Cristiano Ronaldo

Film Festival: day 2

2009-11-14T23:37:00.001-05:00

Here are the Festival's film synopsis, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday.

Fruit Fly
Composer and co-star of the indie hit Colma: The Musical, H.P. Mendoza returns with his directorial debut, FruitFly, an hysterical new musical about finding yourself and finding your (chosen) family. Fruit Fly tells the story of Bethesda, a Filipina performance artist searching for her identity and struggling to establish her career. Upon arriving in San Francisco, Bethesda moves into an artist commune and quickly befriends the eclectic group of gay, lesbian, and straight housemates who have made a sort of rag-tag family there. In the musical tradition –and to hilarious effect - the characters reflect on their lives, speak their minds and open their hearts through the film’s 19 original songs all composed by Mendoza. Pop to its core, and more fun than you can shake a stick at, Fruit Fly is a fun, frolicking and sparkly (of course) musical love letter to San Francisco, or whatever place you call home.

With a synopsis like that, I expected to be blown away by this film, but I wasn't. I was cute and many of the lyrics were really funny, but this film felt like a car that just couldn't get out of 2nd gear. There was nice eye candy and of course San Francisco is gorgeous, but I had higher hopes than this film was able to deliver. On a scale of 1-5 I gave it a 3.

Edie and Thea
Through the lens of documentarians Susan Muska and Greta Olafsdottir comes the true tale of two stunning, smart, vivacious women, whose endearing love story unfolds amid the historical backdrop of the Stonewall riots in the 1960s and continues over 43 years, including the 40th anniversary of Stonewall, and the emergence of the Marriage Equality Movement. Engaged not only in their personal relationship, but in the larger social, civil and legal recognition of love, Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer share their journey of possibilities and of actualized dreams ... of hope and of change ... that will inspire and challenge all who view the film to look
within their own hearts and likewise raise their voices for equality. Through still images, interviews, and live action, the story of Edie and Thea, demonstrates the best of the human heart, and reminds each of us to embrace who we are and what we have and to make the most of it. The film is more than a story about two people; it is the story of life and commitment, of humanity and equality.

I found this documentary and its 2 'stars' to be charming. It is always interesting to hear about how gays and lesbians socialized and how couples met before Stonewall. Although different in many ways, these 2 ladies were a perfect match for each other and lived a lifetime of love. On a scale of 1-5 I give this a 4.

The Burning Plain
In his debut feature as director, Guillermo Arriaga builds on the multi-threaded approach to storytelling he brought to his previous scripts (Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel, and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada) to create an engrossing, interconnected study of guilt and consequences across three generations. Shuttling back and forth through time and space, from oppressive, steel-gray Oregon skies to sweeping New Mexico terrain, the film allows its audience to judge each narrative strand as it emerges and develops, before quietly weaving the stories together. Three compelling performances carry the film forward, backward, and sideways. Charlize Theron,Kim Basinger, and teenager Jennifer Lawrence each command the emotional center of their respective worlds. All three are subtle and sophisticated in their characterization, but gradually their emotionalties become apparent. Far from being a formal exercise designed to elicit widespread head-scratching from the audience, The Burning Plain is an affecting and subtle examination of love, guilt, and family. Lush cinematography, along with standout performances, contribute to an already-accomplished writer’s powerful first feature.

I thought this film was brilliant. I love films which appear to contain unrelated storylines, only to eventually weave all the characters and stories together. I found the acting to be honest and superb. This is definitely a film to add to your Netflix queue. On a scale of 1-5 I would give this film a 6 if I could.

Out in the Silence
Out in the Silence captures the remarkable chain of events that unfold when the announcement of filmmaker Joe Wilson’s wedding to another man ignites a firestorm of controversy in his small PA hometown. Drawn back by a plea for help from the mother of a gay teen being tormented at school, Wilson’s journey dramatically illustrates the universal challenges of being an outsider in a conservative environment and the transformation that is possible when those who have long been constrained by a traditional code of silence summon the courage to break it.

This documentary was moderately interesting, only because of the way it was told. It seemed to be an all too familiar story: small-minded, religious bigotry thrives in rural towns. Although Wilson was able to make some inroads with a local clergyman and his wife, this seemed a drop in the bucket compared to highly-organized conservatives who make up the majority there. The film's teenage 'star' also seemed to need some coaching in being a trailblazer. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this film a 3.

Baby Love
This highly romantic comedy-drama explores one man’s insistent need to become a father and its toll on his relationships. French style and wit permeate this wonderful tale of gay parenting in which pediatrician Manu yearns for a child of his own, but his partner Philippe will have nothing to do with it, content in his child-free life. But despite Philippe’s objections, Manu attempts to adopt a child. In a country where same-sex civil unions are legal but gay marriage and adoption are not, the agency turns down Manu’s request to adopt. When Philippe finds out that Manu acted behind his back, they separate. Unconcerned about anything but finding a woman to act as a surrogate and provide him with a child, Manu seeks the attention
of Fina, an illegal Argentine, eventually marrying her for the benefit of each. As their life together begins to assume the domesticity of a traditional married couple, complications surrounding the prospect of having a child arise, causing Manu to rely on Philippe’s assistance.

I really enjoyed this film. The 2 male leads were very handsome and I love the sound of French. However, it struck me odd that when the couple separated there was no talk about 'love' or the length of time they'd been together. It seemed there should have been some conversation about how the one guy's need for a child was going to alter or end their relationship. Fortunately the writer successfully wove sufficient comedy into the drama to keep this film from becoming too heavy. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this film a 5.

Crush du Jour: Andrew Paterini

Film Festival: day 1

2009-11-13T09:32:00.002-05:00

Here are the film synopsis from the Festival, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday:

To Faro
Mel (Melanie) looks, dresses and acts like a boy, and people frequently take her for one, like the slightly younger Jenny, who falls in love with her. At the same time, Mel is faking a relationship with a colleague for her family’s sake. This tale of the obliquity (sexual and otherwise) of adolescence is a tender and beautiful film about youth, and the sadness, loneliness and confusion that go with it. Its heroine is an odd but charismatic character who has yet to fully resolve her sexuality and gender. The tender magic and the atmosphere of mystery and expectation so typical of the protagonist’s age make for a powerful cinematic experience reminiscent of the dilemma faced by the protagonists of Boy’s Don’t Cry but without the tragic and violent conclusion.

I felt a great deal of honesty in this film, despite the fact that Mel is not honest with Jenny until the end. The emotions and actions of the two young women seemed quite congruent with their ages and experiences. Mel was not a caricature or a girl in drag; she was portrayed realistically and sincerely. On a scale of 1-5, I give this film a solid 4.

Out of the Blue
Marion is an attractive middle-aged mother and wife who makes the bold move of leaving her unappreciative jerk of a husband and starting over in a search for the unknown element that was previously missing from her life. Independent but terrified, Marion’s world changes quickly when she encounters a beautiful dancer who makes her feel alive for the first time and a casual friendship starts to look much more serious, much to the dismay of not only the husband, but her daughter as well. Skillfully acted and beautifully filmed, Out of the Blue is an endearing inspiration to anyone looking to start over.

I love the sound of French, and this film was in French so it already had that going for it. But I really enjoyed the story, despite the fact that my own circumstances couldn't be more different than Marion's. Having been in a boring marriage for years, with no advance planning Marion decides to leave her husband when he forgets their 22nd wedding anniversary. She embarks on a balancing act of changing enough in her life to make herself happy while not changing so much that she alienates her teenage daughter. Marion's new life surprises even her when she feels herself falling for another woman. On a scale of 1-5, I give this film a 4.

Patrik, Age 1.5
After facing much discrimination in their quest to adopt a child, Swedish gay couple Goran and Sven finally appear to be cleared to take possession of an 18-month old boy named Patrik. However, due to a misplaced punctuation mark, the “1.5-year old” turns out to be 15 and a homophobe with a violent criminal record to boot. This sitcom-like plot point is transformed into an intelligent rumination on tolerance and gradual understanding. Initially, all involved are displeased about the situation, especially Sven, who has also had his share of youthful run-ins with the law and knows the violence Patrik is capable of unleashing. The couple eventually coax positive qualities out of Patrik that go deeper than the teen’s initial disgust about having to live with “homos.” With strong performances, Patrik, Age 1.5 is a sensitive, quietly funny, and surprisingly affecting take on the theme of a same-sex couples raising an adopted child.

I loved this film! The characters were sufficiently developed to allow you to understand them, care about them, and sympathize with them. I also appreciated that this film didn't stereotype the adopting fathers. Often the more masculine looking man is the smarter, reasonable, centered one while the less masculine looking man is flighty, flamboyant, and prone to becoming hysterical. The story was touching and funny at the same time. Do yourself a favor and add this film to your Netflix queue! On a scale of 1-5, I give this film a 6!!

And Then Came Lola
Time is running out, and Lola has only one chance to salvage a job and save her relationship with new girlfriend, Casey. Wait, make it three chances. With the fast-paced, colorful, fragmented style of the epic German film "Run Lola Run", this time-bending tale chronicles the tempestuous journey of a commitment phobic photographer, Lola. Typically immune to the lesbian ways of the U-Haul, Lola discovers that she might have finally found someone worth slowing down for. But not now. Now Lola is late. Lola has to run! Navigating San Francisco like a treacherous video game, Lola has mere minutes to tame the domineering meter maid, avoid the canine wielding park chick, grab the photos, sidestep the ex, and deliver the proofs to the bar where girlfriend Casey is meeting with a prospective client (and her ex), the euro-hottie Danielle. Thrust on a relationship crash course, Lola grows ever more determined to deliver, and claim her girlfriend from the potential rival. Lola sprints, bikes, hitches rides, and flirts her way through the streets and back rooms of San Francisco.

Since I enjoyed "Run Lola Run" I thought I'd really like this film. On paper it sounds great and I believe the concept is. Unfortunately this film just didn't deliver for me. I found Lola to be the kind of person I wouldn't be able to depend on because she's too selfish to commit herself, so I really didn't care if she succeeded in the film. I didn't hate it, but I thought it could have been done much better. On a scale of 1-5, I give it a 2.

Crush du Jour: Peter Onorati

Film Festival: day 0.5

2009-11-12T14:34:00.005-05:00

Last night (Wed) was the opening of the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival. Here is the festival synopsis of the film I saw.

Kisses
On the fringes of Dublin two kids, Kylie and Dylan, live in a suburban housing estate devoid of life, color and the prospect of escape. Kylie lives with five other siblings and her overworked mother. Next door, Dylan lives in the shadow of an alcoholic father and the memory of an elder brother who ran away from home two years earlier. After a violent altercation with his father, Dylan runs away from home and Kylie decides to run away with him. Together they make their way to the magical night-time lights of inner city Dublin, to search for Dylan’s brother, and in the hope of finding, through him, the possibility of a new life. Lance Daly’s
vision of Dublin, as seen through the innocent eyes of our protagonists, is a kaleidoscope of magic, wonder and mystery. But as the night wears on, and Dublin takes on a darker character, the two kids have to rely on the kindness of strangers, the advice of Bob Dylan and their trust in each other to survive the night.

I enjoyed this film and found it more interesting than the synopsis above. The actor playing Dylan wasn't that great, but I believe the actress playing Kylie has an acting career ahead of her. Although the ending was predictable (the kids eventually return home) everything leading up to it was interesting, cleverly shot, and not predictable. On a Netflix scale of 1-5 I would give this film a 3.5.

Just in time for the film festival, our area is being hit by a veritable monsoon. Beginning yesterday morning we've had rain and driving winds without let up. Forecasts are calling for 50-60 mph gusts!

I typically enjoy being one of the 1st in line at 7:00 am Thurs morning to chat with other indie film enthusiasts while we wait for the box office to open at 8:00. (Being 1st in line guarantees I'll get tickets to my desired films before they sell out.) Today was a completely different story. Rather than standing in the monsoon-like weather for an hour, we early birds were given paper numbers and told to wait in our cars. When the box office opened we went inside and got in line by number. So there was no chit-chatting about films prior to the box office opening, and I missed it.

After securing tickets to all of my desired films (YES!) I went to Duncan Donuts for my traditional post-ticket-purchase coffee and donuts: 1 Boston cream and 1 chocolate glazed. (Yes, I get those same donuts each time. Hey, traditions can be fun!) Since Steven works near the theatre and Duncan Donuts I told him I'd be there a few minutes after 8:00 in case he wanted to meet me there. As I stood at the counter placing my order with Olef, the foreign exchange student, Steven snuck up behind me and poked me in the sides and yelled "Gotcha!" I nearly jumped out of my skin. We enjoyed a brief breakfast together before he scooted off to work and I went home to shower.

After my shower I tidied up the house a bit before the housekeeper arrived. Oh yeah, we found a good housekeeper and she and her crew came today. I left for today's first movie (details in tomorrow's post) shortly after they began, and returned home from the theatre just as they were leaving. The house looks GREAT and I was super-excited to finally have the entire house clean.

I'm going back to the theatre for 2 more films this afternoon/evening, then meeting up with Spouse, Steven & Thad, and The Bobs for group trivia afterward.

Crush du Jour: Armon Adibi

Short work week

2009-11-11T14:33:00.008-05:00

This is a short work week for me, not because of being off for Veterans day (since my company does not observe it), but because I have taken off Thurs & Fri to attend the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival (RBIFF). I will post each day about the films I see so you can add the ones you like to your Netflix queue.

Since I will be posting about RBIFF films on Fri, I will not have my usual Friday fragments post then. Instead, I am including some Friday fragments items today.

I have to share this link a friend sent me a link to a site called Affectionate Men. Be sure to watch both of the slide shows. They're great! Big nod to Stephen.

Another friend sent me this:

along with the caption: "Ooops! Looks like the architect didn't consider the shadow this fence would make." This gave me a laugh.

Crush du Jour: Romain Duris

I believe

2009-11-10T09:25:00.000-05:00

I believe that...

a birth certificate shows that we were born, a death certificate shows that we died, but pictures show that we lived!
just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for a lifetime.
it can take a long time to become the person we want to be.
you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You never know when it may be the last time you see them.
you can keep going long after you think you can't.
we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
money is a lousy way of keeping score.
sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
when I'm angry I sometimes have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
the happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you'

Author unknown - edited by me

Crush du Jour: Thomaz Oliviera

Weekend highlights

2009-11-09T14:13:00.003-05:00

I was really looking forward to this weekend because it was the 1st weekend since the end of Aug that we were not out of town, hosting weekend house guests, or otherwise committed. Yes, finally a 'free' weekend after 10 weeks.

On Sat Spouse went for his personal trainer appointment and I caught up on emails and ordered my holiday return address labels. As I've mentioned before, I love to send holiday cards - I have a routine for writing/addressing them - so I like to use special holiday return address labels. Similar to last year, I ordered two types. I ordered this beachy Christmas one again, since I liked it so much last year.
Its just a subtle reminder to folks that it sometimes snows at the beach. I also ordered this snowflake design for 'holiday' cards going out to my non-Christian friends.

Its 'wintry' instead of 'Christmasy'.

After Spouse returned we ran a few errands, had lunch, and did a little shopping. Spouse took a nap while I spoke with Ray, our yard guy, about moving some plants in preparation for the pouring of the replacement driveway, then checked out an antique/collectibles store. I found a great storage piece that I believe will be perfect for our new bathroom. Then Spouse & I met up with our friends for dinner followed by 'movie night' at George & Steve's house.

I had several more things on my to-do list for Sun including breakfast with Steven & Thad, but my body had a different idea of how it was going to spend Sun. I awoke to find myself with a recurrence of vagus nerve overstimulation, which forced me to lie vertical the entire day and night due to the extreme dizziness and nausea. Fortunately I didn't vomit this time. Down the drain went my plans for a fun and productive day. I laid in bed until 11am, then relocated to the sofa to watch TV for the rest of the day/evening. Spouse brought me toast and crackers, which I could eat lying down. Today I'm feeling much better, but not quite 100% back to normal just yet.

On the positive side, I finally watched the DVD of "Doubt" from Netflix yesterday afternoon, which we've had since May.

Crush du Jour: Adoni Maropis