Friday fragments

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

Here's a great video I swiped from Sean's blog. Its clever and sexy at the same time, an irresistible combination in my opinion. Enjoy!

I have been rather vocal in real life and on this blog about people talking and texting while driving. Its dangerous and should be outlawed in every state. So you can imagine my joy when I received this cartoon in an email from a friend!
Brilliant, no?

I can always count on Bob and his blog to keep me up-to-date. Thanks to Bob, I learned that the writers and reporters laid off Mon from the Washington Blade have started a new GLBT newspaper called The Agenda. A limited edition is available at newsstands in the metro DC area today! Since the staff is currently working as volunteers, please consider assisting with the cost of printing, etc by 'buying a brick'. Our issues, told by our voices.

Another friend sent me this little ditty.

Spouse & I have no social plans this weekend (did I just hear an audible gasp?) so we are going to begin preparations for Thanksgiving. Only his mom and 1 brother and his wife are coming this year so it will be our smallest Thanksgiving ever. They're coming Thur morning and leaving sometime Fri. This is fine with me, as I am envisioning a quieter holiday followed by the weekend without overnight guests. This weekend we will get the house ready and buy all the Thanksgiving food.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Crush du Jour: Timothy Mandala

Logical

I like to think of myself as calm, reasonable, and logical. I am not prone to emotional outbursts or hysterical knee-jerk reactions. But today I was close to the point of cheering when I read about 10-year old Will Phillips on Bob's blog.

It seems Will is a rather bright boy. Rather than mindlessly following the tradition of rotely standing and repeating the pledge of allegiance, Will actually thought about those words and decided he could not say them in good conscience.

Unfortunately his substitute teacher thought he was trying to be a bad ass by refusing to stand and repeat the pledge. After she badgered him about it for several days, Will had enough and had to tell her "With all due respect, you can jump off a bridge". This landed him in the principal's office.

Why, you may be wondering, was Will opposed to repeating the pledge of allegiance? Because the final phrase of it reads "...with liberty and justice for all". It seems Will and his family have gay and lesbian friends for whom liberty and justice only go so far. So to heighten awareness of his gay and lesbian friends' 2nd class status, he decided not to stand and repeat the pledge. For the full story, click here. To watch a video of Will and his dad interviewed on CNN, click here.

Imagine that: a bright, 10-year old boy who recognized the disconnect between the promises "for all" contained in the pledge of allegiance and the way GLBT people are actually treated in the US.

Wouldn't it be nice if our elected officials had the logic of this 10-year old boy?

Crush du Jour: Chace Utley

Intellectual property

A strange thing happened this week. I was accused of infringing on someone's intellectual property rights.

What? Me???

A few months ago I wrote about a website that allows you to create custom t-shirts, mousepads, visors, and all kinds of gear. You can upload photos and/or you can type text to appear on your items. I created 2 different t-shirts for Spouse and me to wear to Big Ella's 1st vintage car show. Then I listed the items in the Marketplace so that others who like them could order them, too.

The shirts arrived, I loved them, Spouse & I wore them to the car show events, guys at the car show loved them, and all was right with the world. Until Mon.

On Mon I received the following email:
Thank you for your interest in Zazzle.com, and thank you for publishing products on Zazzle. Unfortunately, it appears that your product, Tail fins, contains content that is not suitable for printing at Zazzle.com. We will be removing this product from the Zazzle Marketplace shortly.

The details of the product being removed are listed below:
Product Title: Tail fins
Product Type: Shirt
Product ID: 235761238692587880
Result: Not Approved
Policy Violations: Design contains an image or text that infringes on intellectual property rights. We have been contacted by the intellectual property right holder and at their request we will be removing your product from Zazzle’s Marketplace due to intellectual property claims

We apologize for the inconvenience, a detailed description of the policies are located here. If you have any questions or concerns about the review of your product, please email us.

Regards,
Content Review Team
Zazzle.com, Inc.

The item in question is a black t-shirt with the words "got fins?" on it. I scratched my head for a moment and wondered how in the world someone could claim intellectual property rights on 2 common words found in any dictionary.

So I wrote to the Content Review Team:
I am puzzled by the email I received below, which claims that my t-shirt design's "image or text infringes on intellectual property rights". Does this mean that someone claims to have a copyright on the two words "got fins"? I find this hard to believe. Can you please tell me what a person or company has to provide to you to prove their claim to the intellectual property rights?

Sincerely,
Mark in DE

Today I got the following response to my email:
Thank you for your email. Please feel free to resubmit your designs as they seem to have been removed in error. We apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for using Zazzle.com.

So, apparently there was some mix-up about my supposed infringing on someone's intellectual property rights. They encourage me to resubmit my design since it was removed in error, yet my design still appears on their website.

I'm still a little confused, but I'm not going to invest anymore time or energy on it. My design is still there for the fin-loving masses or order.

If I were smarter and actually capable of infringing on someone's intellectual property rights I probably wouldn't have thought it so strange. But since I'm not, I did.

Crush du Jour: Marlon DiGregori

GLBT newspapers

I was disappointed but not surprised to learn that the Washington Blade and several other GLBT newspapers owned by Window Media ceased operating yesterday. Some employees arrived at work Mon morning to find the locks had been changed.

There are likely several causes:

1. The economic downturn over the last year has resulted in many business closings and advertising budgets slashed. There are literally fewer professional advertisers than there used to be.

2. The general shift from newspapers to online news sources means there are fewer newspaper readers than before. This holds true for large mainstream papers like the Washington Post and New York Times. More and more people prefer obtaining their news online.

3. Internet dating/hook-up sites have all but replaced the use of personal ads in print newspapers. Those looking for love or just a booty call prefer the immediacy of placing an online ad versus waiting for a print ad to be published.

4. Mainstream newspapers now cover GLBT issues/interests more than ever before, rendering GLBT-specific papers less important.

While I understand and agree for the most part with items 1-3, I take issue with #4. It may be true that mainstream papers cover more GLBT issues than before, that doesn't mean they cover all of them or that they do a good, fair, or unbiased job of reporting on these issues. An online gay news source I visit published a story about a gay teen who was burned and decapitated. I could not find this story in the Washington Post or New York Times.

Its hard enough to combat apathy when people are informed, but I fear that without these GLBT-specific newspapers our community will be even less informed, and therefore less involved.

I vividly remember being in my late 20s when the internet was just starting to become available to household consumers. AOL was basically the only provider and they charged by the hour! (Yes, dear young ones, its true.) As I hungered for information about the gay community, I poured over each weekly edition of the Washington Blade. I depended on it to inform and educate me. I read articles about gay issues and concerns that were written by gay people.

Our issues; for us, by us.

I think Village Voice writer Michael Musto summed it up perfectly: “This was the gay community writing about itself, and that’s a voice we should never lose.”

Now, I realize that some of the 'our issues; for us, by us' can still be found in gay blogs. Bob and others do a great job of making us aware of issues that concern the GLBT community.

But it is important to remember that bloggers are not held to the same standards as professional reporters. Bloggers can and do write opinions that may or may not be factual. Reporters who work for newspapers and TV news shows have to be able to back up their stories with facts. Reputable news sources employ people called fact checkers to verify the details of the stories they run.

Although I'm sure they have no ill-intent, most bloggers have day jobs and do not have the time or resources to validate everything they write. Most don't create original news content; they repost news content found elsewhere. So where will the gay bloggers go to research or validate their info, now that 1/2 a dozen gay newspapers have folded?

My hope is that some of the talented and dedicated gay reporters who used to work for the Washington Blade, South FL Blade, Southern Voice, and Houston Voice will find a way to continue writing professional, factual articles online.

I believe we need to hear about GLBT issues from GLBT people.

What do you think? Do you think GLBT have become so integrated into general society that our issues are sufficiently covered by mainstream news sources?

Crush du Jour: Lambert Wilson

Film Festival: day 4

Here are the Festival's film synopsis, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday.

Off and Running
Avery is a typical Brooklyn teen living in an atypical, United Nations-style melting pot. Her adoptive parents are white Jewish lesbians, her younger brother is Korean, her older brother is mixed-race, and she is black. Though her family is loving, she can’t quite quell her curiosity about her biological African-American roots. The decision to contact her birth mother sparks a complicated exploration of race and identity. As Avery’s self-awareness increases, the question of racial identity takes center-stage. The more she searches for answers about her biological family, the more emotionally charged and distant from her current family she becomes. She maintains her position on the school track team, but drops out of high school and eventually leaves home. Avery’s constant displacement—whether it was at her Jewish elementary school, or among black friends, or even at home—informs her difficult journey, objectively documented by director Nicole Opper. Most impressive is Opper’s poised camera, able to capture honest and articulate conversations between Avery and her incredibly attentive brother Rafi. Off and Running is a unique and very American coming-of-age story that delves into the psyche of race through a fresh and careful dissection of a family’s struggle.

I found this documentary to be very interesting yet heart-wrenching. With loving, supportive parents and a natural talent for track and field, Avery seems to have more advantages than most adopted kids, yet she becomes hopelessly sidetracked by her quest to find and get to know her birth mother. When Avery drops out of high school and gets pregnant it really made me wonder if kids should be allowed to pursue finding their birth parents prior to graduation. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this a 4.

Marcello Marcello
A heartwarming and whimsical romantic comedy, set on a fictional Italian island in 1956, follows the fortunes of young Marcello, the son of a fisherman, who pines for the affection of the lovely Elena. Two things stand in Marcello’s way, the first being that Elena is the mayor’s daughter. The second is more elaborate: according to island tradition, the father of an 18-year old girl ready to meet suitors can choose the suitor based on what is basically a bribe—the best gift to the father results in a date with the daughter. So, what does Marcello come up with? And what does Elena think of Marcello? Rabaglia brings a sunny attitude to a sunny story, set in an unbelievably gorgeous (and, yes, sunny) place. His steadily accumulating narrative builds to an effective and satisfying climax. A terrifically and innocently romantic story of young love, told against the backdrop of a pre-modernized world where the pursuit of love reigns supreme, Marcello Marcello is a winning and winsome film.

This was a beautifully filmed and delightful story. Although Marcello despises his village's tradition, he is unable to resist vying for the opportunity to be with Elena. But to ensure his gift to Elena's father is the best, clever Marcello must make deals with half the village's population! Funny and romantic, this film is a sure bet. On a scale of 1-5, I gave it a 4.5.

Hannah Free

Starring Sharon Gless (Queer as Folk, Cagney & Lacey) in a tremendous performance, Hannah Free tells the story of a decades-long love affair between Hannah, an adventurous, butch lesbian with gruff charm, and Rachel, a pristine, married homemaker with a religious upbringing. Set in a present day nursing home, Hannah is forbidden from seeing the Rachel, due to her not being “family.” Through a series of flashbacks and past incarnations that Hannah imagines in her old age, the viewer is treated to the passionate beginnings of their relationship, which was both tumultuous and enduring. Hannah manages to convey the introspection that comes with age, while still being spunky and sharp. Though Hannah is out and unashamed while Rachel is much more reserved, both characters are revealed to be courageous in entirely different ways. The film easily questions matters of same-sex partners’ rights, the definition of family, and the difficulties surrounding seeing your loved ones become old and fragile.

This was a complex and beautiful film that had me in tears at the end. While Hannah suffers from a lifelong case of wanderlust, Rachel can only be happy in the safety of home. This film shows that although two people love each, they sometimes love in different ways and need different kinds of love. While Rachel's last days are spent in a room just down the hall, Hannah is unable to be with her until and unlikely person assists her and allows her to say goodbye for the last time. Highly recommended! On a scale of 1-5 I give this a 6. What a fitting way to end my film festival experience!!

Crush du Jour: Johnathon Schaech

Film Festival: day 3

Here are the Festival's film synopsis, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday.

Prodigal Sons
Filmmaker Kimberly Reed dives headfirst into an unflinching portrait of her family that is absolutely engrossing and marks her coming-out, in more ways than one. Returning home to a small town in Montana for her high school reunion, Reed hopes for reconciliation with her long-estranged adopted brother. But along the way Prodigal Sons uncovers stunning revelations, including a blood relationship with Orson Welles and Rita Hayworth, intense sibling rivalries and unforeseeable twists of plot and gender. Reed’s rare access delicately reveals not only the family’s most private moments, but also an epic scope as the film travels from Montana to Croatia, from jail cell to football field, from deaths to births. Reed’s compassionate vérité style of filmmaking captures the lives of her family in such an organic way that their exceptional and challenging stories puncture the surface of our expectations. Questions of sexual orientation, identity, severe trauma and family love are effortlessly explored as the subjects freely open up their lives to the camera. Raw, emotional and provocative, Prodigal Sons offers a moving, illuminating examination of one family’s struggle to come to terms with its past and present.

This documentary was chock full of intricate family relationship issues, which I found to be very interesting but also heart-wrenching at times. Kim seems burdened not only with her own issues as a transgender woman, but with those of her adopted older brother, whose teenage head injury and emotional baggage has left him feeling like the consummate victim. Very real; very gripping. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this a 4.

Big Gay Musical
Paul & Eddie have just begun previews for the new Off-Broadway musical Adam & Steve: Just the Way God Made ‘Em. Their lives strangely mirror the characters they are playing; Paul is looking for the perfect man and Eddie is dealing with how his sexuality and faith can mix. After yet another disastrous dating experience, Paul has an epiphany. He is done dating & just wants to be a slut like the sexy chorus boys that share his dressing room. Eddie has to tell his parents that he’s gay and is starring in a show that calls the Bible the “Breeder’s Informational Book of Living Examples.” Eddie comes out to his family and Paul goes on the internet. Eddie’s parents are destroyed by the news and Paul can’t even have a good one-night stand. But after musical numbers with scantly-clad tap dancing angels, a retelling of Genesis, “teleevangelists”, a camp that attempts to turn gay kids straight and a bunch of show tunes, everyone realizes that life gets better once they accept who they really are: just the way God made ‘em!

This was a silly, fun film full of major eye candy and cleverly funny lyrics. Don't expect a complicated plot; just enjoy the scenery. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this a 3.5.

10% Shorts, consisting of:
A Day at the Beach
Boy Meets Boy
Clouded
The Island
Falling for Caroline
James
Make A Mate
Little BFFs
Evelyn Everyone
Second Guessing Grandma
For a short description of each 'short', consult the program guide. I was disappointed my most of the shorts. I really only liked 4 out of the 10. If I had been on the panel to select which shorts would be seen, I would have only voted to show Falling for Caroline, James, Evelyn Everyone, and Second Guessing Grandma.


Crush du Jour: Cristiano Ronaldo

Film Festival: day 2

Here are the Festival's film synopsis, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday.


Fruit Fly
Composer and co-star of the indie hit Colma: The Musical, H.P. Mendoza returns with his directorial debut, FruitFly, an hysterical new musical about finding yourself and finding your (chosen) family. Fruit Fly tells the story of Bethesda, a Filipina performance artist searching for her identity and struggling to establish her career. Upon arriving in San Francisco, Bethesda moves into an artist commune and quickly befriends the eclectic group of gay, lesbian, and straight housemates who have made a sort of rag-tag family there. In the musical tradition –and to hilarious effect - the characters reflect on their lives, speak their minds and open their hearts through the film’s 19 original songs all composed by Mendoza. Pop to its core, and more fun than you can shake a stick at, Fruit Fly is a fun, frolicking and sparkly (of course) musical love letter to San Francisco, or whatever place you call home.

With a synopsis like that, I expected to be blown away by this film, but I wasn't. I was cute and many of the lyrics were really funny, but this film felt like a car that just couldn't get out of 2nd gear. There was nice eye candy and of course San Francisco is gorgeous, but I had higher hopes than this film was able to deliver. On a scale of 1-5 I gave it a 3.


Edie and Thea
Through the lens of documentarians Susan Muska and Greta Olafsdottir comes the true tale of two stunning, smart, vivacious women, whose endearing love story unfolds amid the historical backdrop of the Stonewall riots in the 1960s and continues over 43 years, including the 40th anniversary of Stonewall, and the emergence of the Marriage Equality Movement. Engaged not only in their personal relationship, but in the larger social, civil and legal recognition of love, Edie Windsor and Thea Spyer share their journey of possibilities and of actualized dreams ... of hope and of change ... that will inspire and challenge all who view the film to look
within their own hearts and likewise raise their voices for equality. Through still images, interviews, and live action, the story of Edie and Thea, demonstrates the best of the human heart, and reminds each of us to embrace who we are and what we have and to make the most of it. The film is more than a story about two people; it is the story of life and commitment, of humanity and equality.

I found this documentary and its 2 'stars' to be charming. It is always interesting to hear about how gays and lesbians socialized and how couples met before Stonewall. Although different in many ways, these 2 ladies were a perfect match for each other and lived a lifetime of love. On a scale of 1-5 I give this a 4.


The Burning Plain
In his debut feature as director, Guillermo Arriaga builds on the multi-threaded approach to storytelling he brought to his previous scripts (Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel, and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada) to create an engrossing, interconnected study of guilt and consequences across three generations. Shuttling back and forth through time and space, from oppressive, steel-gray Oregon skies to sweeping New Mexico terrain, the film allows its audience to judge each narrative strand as it emerges and develops, before quietly weaving the stories together. Three compelling performances carry the film forward, backward, and sideways. Charlize Theron,Kim Basinger, and teenager Jennifer Lawrence each command the emotional center of their respective worlds. All three are subtle and sophisticated in their characterization, but gradually their emotionalties become apparent. Far from being a formal exercise designed to elicit widespread head-scratching from the audience, The Burning Plain is an affecting and subtle examination of love, guilt, and family. Lush cinematography, along with standout performances, contribute to an already-accomplished writer’s powerful first feature.

I thought this film was brilliant. I love films which appear to contain unrelated storylines, only to eventually weave all the characters and stories together. I found the acting to be honest and superb. This is definitely a film to add to your Netflix queue. On a scale of 1-5 I would give this film a 6 if I could.


Out in the Silence
Out in the Silence captures the remarkable chain of events that unfold when the announcement of filmmaker Joe Wilson’s wedding to another man ignites a firestorm of controversy in his small PA hometown. Drawn back by a plea for help from the mother of a gay teen being tormented at school, Wilson’s journey dramatically illustrates the universal challenges of being an outsider in a conservative environment and the transformation that is possible when those who have long been constrained by a traditional code of silence summon the courage to break it.

This documentary was moderately interesting, only because of the way it was told. It seemed to be an all too familiar story: small-minded, religious bigotry thrives in rural towns. Although Wilson was able to make some inroads with a local clergyman and his wife, this seemed a drop in the bucket compared to highly-organized conservatives who make up the majority there. The film's teenage 'star' also seemed to need some coaching in being a trailblazer. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this film a 3.


Baby Love
This highly romantic comedy-drama explores one man’s insistent need to become a father and its toll on his relationships. French style and wit permeate this wonderful tale of gay parenting in which pediatrician Manu yearns for a child of his own, but his partner Philippe will have nothing to do with it, content in his child-free life. But despite Philippe’s objections, Manu attempts to adopt a child. In a country where same-sex civil unions are legal but gay marriage and adoption are not, the agency turns down Manu’s request to adopt. When Philippe finds out that Manu acted behind his back, they separate. Unconcerned about anything but finding a woman to act as a surrogate and provide him with a child, Manu seeks the attention
of Fina, an illegal Argentine, eventually marrying her for the benefit of each. As their life together begins to assume the domesticity of a traditional married couple, complications surrounding the prospect of having a child arise, causing Manu to rely on Philippe’s assistance.

I really enjoyed this film. The 2 male leads were very handsome and I love the sound of French. However, it struck me odd that when the couple separated there was no talk about 'love' or the length of time they'd been together. It seemed there should have been some conversation about how the one guy's need for a child was going to alter or end their relationship. Fortunately the writer successfully wove sufficient comedy into the drama to keep this film from becoming too heavy. On a scale of 1-5 I gave this film a 5.

Crush du Jour: Andrew Paterini

Film Festival: day 1

Here are the film synopsis from the Festival, followed by my comments, for the films I saw yesterday:

To Faro
Mel (Melanie) looks, dresses and acts like a boy, and people frequently take her for one, like the slightly younger Jenny, who falls in love with her. At the same time, Mel is faking a relationship with a colleague for her family’s sake. This tale of the obliquity (sexual and otherwise) of adolescence is a tender and beautiful film about youth, and the sadness, loneliness and confusion that go with it. Its heroine is an odd but charismatic character who has yet to fully resolve her sexuality and gender. The tender magic and the atmosphere of mystery and expectation so typical of the protagonist’s age make for a powerful cinematic experience reminiscent of the dilemma faced by the protagonists of Boy’s Don’t Cry but without the tragic and violent conclusion.

I felt a great deal of honesty in this film, despite the fact that Mel is not honest with Jenny until the end. The emotions and actions of the two young women seemed quite congruent with their ages and experiences. Mel was not a caricature or a girl in drag; she was portrayed realistically and sincerely. On a scale of 1-5, I give this film a solid 4.

Out of the Blue
Marion is an attractive middle-aged mother and wife who makes the bold move of leaving her unappreciative jerk of a husband and starting over in a search for the unknown element that was previously missing from her life. Independent but terrified, Marion’s world changes quickly when she encounters a beautiful dancer who makes her feel alive for the first time and a casual friendship starts to look much more serious, much to the dismay of not only the husband, but her daughter as well. Skillfully acted and beautifully filmed, Out of the Blue is an endearing inspiration to anyone looking to start over.

I love the sound of French, and this film was in French so it already had that going for it. But I really enjoyed the story, despite the fact that my own circumstances couldn't be more different than Marion's. Having been in a boring marriage for years, with no advance planning Marion decides to leave her husband when he forgets their 22nd wedding anniversary. She embarks on a balancing act of changing enough in her life to make herself happy while not changing so much that she alienates her teenage daughter. Marion's new life surprises even her when she feels herself falling for another woman. On a scale of 1-5, I give this film a 4.

Patrik, Age 1.5
After facing much discrimination in their quest to adopt a child, Swedish gay couple Goran and Sven finally appear to be cleared to take possession of an 18-month old boy named Patrik. However, due to a misplaced punctuation mark, the “1.5-year old” turns out to be 15 and a homophobe with a violent criminal record to boot. This sitcom-like plot point is transformed into an intelligent rumination on tolerance and gradual understanding. Initially, all involved are displeased about the situation, especially Sven, who has also had his share of youthful run-ins with the law and knows the violence Patrik is capable of unleashing. The couple eventually coax positive qualities out of Patrik that go deeper than the teen’s initial disgust about having to live with “homos.” With strong performances, Patrik, Age 1.5 is a sensitive, quietly funny, and surprisingly affecting take on the theme of a same-sex couples raising an adopted child.

I loved this film! The characters were sufficiently developed to allow you to understand them, care about them, and sympathize with them. I also appreciated that this film didn't stereotype the adopting fathers. Often the more masculine looking man is the smarter, reasonable, centered one while the less masculine looking man is flighty, flamboyant, and prone to becoming hysterical. The story was touching and funny at the same time. Do yourself a favor and add this film to your Netflix queue! On a scale of 1-5, I give this film a 6!!

And Then Came Lola
Time is running out, and Lola has only one chance to salvage a job and save her relationship with new girlfriend, Casey. Wait, make it three chances. With the fast-paced, colorful, fragmented style of the epic German film "Run Lola Run", this time-bending tale chronicles the tempestuous journey of a commitment phobic photographer, Lola. Typically immune to the lesbian ways of the U-Haul, Lola discovers that she might have finally found someone worth slowing down for. But not now. Now Lola is late. Lola has to run! Navigating San Francisco like a treacherous video game, Lola has mere minutes to tame the domineering meter maid, avoid the canine wielding park chick, grab the photos, sidestep the ex, and deliver the proofs to the bar where girlfriend Casey is meeting with a prospective client (and her ex), the euro-hottie Danielle. Thrust on a relationship crash course, Lola grows ever more determined to deliver, and claim her girlfriend from the potential rival. Lola sprints, bikes, hitches rides, and flirts her way through the streets and back rooms of San Francisco.

Since I enjoyed "Run Lola Run" I thought I'd really like this film. On paper it sounds great and I believe the concept is. Unfortunately this film just didn't deliver for me. I found Lola to be the kind of person I wouldn't be able to depend on because she's too selfish to commit herself, so I really didn't care if she succeeded in the film. I didn't hate it, but I thought it could have been done much better. On a scale of 1-5, I give it a 2.

Crush du Jour: Peter Onorati

Film Festival: day 0.5

Last night (Wed) was the opening of the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival. Here is the festival synopsis of the film I saw.

Kisses
On the fringes of Dublin two kids, Kylie and Dylan, live in a suburban housing estate devoid of life, color and the prospect of escape. Kylie lives with five other siblings and her overworked mother. Next door, Dylan lives in the shadow of an alcoholic father and the memory of an elder brother who ran away from home two years earlier. After a violent altercation with his father, Dylan runs away from home and Kylie decides to run away with him. Together they make their way to the magical night-time lights of inner city Dublin, to search for Dylan’s brother, and in the hope of finding, through him, the possibility of a new life. Lance Daly’s
vision of Dublin, as seen through the innocent eyes of our protagonists, is a kaleidoscope of magic, wonder and mystery. But as the night wears on, and Dublin takes on a darker character, the two kids have to rely on the kindness of strangers, the advice of Bob Dylan and their trust in each other to survive the night.

I enjoyed this film and found it more interesting than the synopsis above. The actor playing Dylan wasn't that great, but I believe the actress playing Kylie has an acting career ahead of her. Although the ending was predictable (the kids eventually return home) everything leading up to it was interesting, cleverly shot, and not predictable. On a Netflix scale of 1-5 I would give this film a 3.5.

Just in time for the film festival, our area is being hit by a veritable monsoon. Beginning yesterday morning we've had rain and driving winds without let up. Forecasts are calling for 50-60 mph gusts!

I typically enjoy being one of the 1st in line at 7:00 am Thurs morning to chat with other indie film enthusiasts while we wait for the box office to open at 8:00. (Being 1st in line guarantees I'll get tickets to my desired films before they sell out.) Today was a completely different story. Rather than standing in the monsoon-like weather for an hour, we early birds were given paper numbers and told to wait in our cars. When the box office opened we went inside and got in line by number. So there was no chit-chatting about films prior to the box office opening, and I missed it.

After securing tickets to all of my desired films (YES!) I went to Duncan Donuts for my traditional post-ticket-purchase coffee and donuts: 1 Boston cream and 1 chocolate glazed. (Yes, I get those same donuts each time. Hey, traditions can be fun!) Since Steven works near the theatre and Duncan Donuts I told him I'd be there a few minutes after 8:00 in case he wanted to meet me there. As I stood at the counter placing my order with Olef, the foreign exchange student, Steven snuck up behind me and poked me in the sides and yelled "Gotcha!" I nearly jumped out of my skin. We enjoyed a brief breakfast together before he scooted off to work and I went home to shower.

After my shower I tidied up the house a bit before the housekeeper arrived. Oh yeah, we found a good housekeeper and she and her crew came today. I left for today's first movie (details in tomorrow's post) shortly after they began, and returned home from the theatre just as they were leaving. The house looks GREAT and I was super-excited to finally have the entire house clean.

I'm going back to the theatre for 2 more films this afternoon/evening, then meeting up with Spouse, Steven & Thad, and The Bobs for group trivia afterward.

Crush du Jour: Armon Adibi

Short work week

This is a short work week for me, not because of being off for Veterans day (since my company does not observe it), but because I have taken off Thurs & Fri to attend the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival (RBIFF). I will post each day about the films I see so you can add the ones you like to your Netflix queue.

Since I will be posting about RBIFF films on Fri, I will not have my usual Friday fragments post then. Instead, I am including some Friday fragments items today.

I have to share this link a friend sent me a link to a site called Affectionate Men. Be sure to watch both of the slide shows. They're great! Big nod to Stephen.

Another friend sent me this:

along with the caption: "Ooops! Looks like the architect didn't consider the shadow this fence would make." This gave me a laugh.

Crush du Jour: Romain Duris

I believe

I believe that...

• a birth certificate shows that we were born, a death certificate shows that we died, but pictures show that we lived!
• just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.
• we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
• no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
• true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
• you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for a lifetime.
• it can take a long time to become the person we want to be.
• you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You never know when it may be the last time you see them.
• you can keep going long after you think you can't.
• we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
• either you control your attitude, or it controls you.
• heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
• money is a lousy way of keeping score.
• sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones to help you get back up.
• when I'm angry I sometimes have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
• maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
• it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
• no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.
• our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
• two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
• your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
• even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.
• credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
• the happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
• 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you'

Author unknown - edited by me

Crush du Jour: Thomaz Oliviera

Weekend highlights

I was really looking forward to this weekend because it was the 1st weekend since the end of Aug that we were not out of town, hosting weekend house guests, or otherwise committed. Yes, finally a 'free' weekend after 10 weeks.

On Sat Spouse went for his personal trainer appointment and I caught up on emails and ordered my holiday return address labels. As I've mentioned before, I love to send holiday cards - I have a routine for writing/addressing them - so I like to use special holiday return address labels. Similar to last year, I ordered two types. I ordered this beachy Christmas one again, since I liked it so much last year.
Its just a subtle reminder to folks that it sometimes snows at the beach. I also ordered this snowflake design for 'holiday' cards going out to my non-Christian friends.

Its 'wintry' instead of 'Christmasy'.

After Spouse returned we ran a few errands, had lunch, and did a little shopping. Spouse took a nap while I spoke with Ray, our yard guy, about moving some plants in preparation for the pouring of the replacement driveway, then checked out an antique/collectibles store. I found a great storage piece that I believe will be perfect for our new bathroom. Then Spouse & I met up with our friends for dinner followed by 'movie night' at George & Steve's house.

I had several more things on my to-do list for Sun including breakfast with Steven & Thad, but my body had a different idea of how it was going to spend Sun. I awoke to find myself with a recurrence of vagus nerve overstimulation, which forced me to lie vertical the entire day and night due to the extreme dizziness and nausea. Fortunately I didn't vomit this time. Down the drain went my plans for a fun and productive day. I laid in bed until 11am, then relocated to the sofa to watch TV for the rest of the day/evening. Spouse brought me toast and crackers, which I could eat lying down. Today I'm feeling much better, but not quite 100% back to normal just yet.

On the positive side, I finally watched the DVD of "Doubt" from Netflix yesterday afternoon, which we've had since May.

Crush du Jour: Adoni Maropis

Friday fragments

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

Last Sun afternoon I moved my clothes and shoes into the new closet/dressing room. It was so exciting! Spouse decided not to move his yet, since we do not have any covering on the bathroom windows. As long as I've known him he's been convinced that legions of people are standing out on the street looking up and into the windows at him, despite the fact that we have no neighbors on the front of our house where the bathroom windows are located.

Mon morning I had my 1st shower in the new shower room, and it was delightful! Its so roomy and spacious I kinda felt like I was showering outdoors. It felt a little naughty, and I liked it!

In case you're still obsessing over the H1N1 or other flu strains, here's a funny video with a flu treatment endorsed by celebrities.

Tonight we'll have dinner with 'the usual suspects' and tomorrow night we'll re-join our movie group, whom we've missed for the last 2 months.

Hope everyone has a fab weekend!

Crush du Jour: Andre Bland

Business trip

I had to make a trip to my company's headquarters in Richmond, VA this week.

I left Tues morning and returned Wed night. It takes about 4 1/2 hours by car each way, if you drive a little fast like I do. It would take even longer if I flew, since I am 2 hours drive to the nearest airport.

I used to hate spending time in the Richmond office. The old management's bad energy affected everyone and it was so unpleasant to be around all that negativity. But fortunately the old management was kicked out, and so was their bad energy. Its like visiting a different office now, and I don't mind it at all.

I checked into renting a car and found that it would be cheaper to do that than expensing the mileage to drive my own car. Go figure! The small car rental office didn't have the intermediate size car I'd reserved so they upgraded me to the luxury class, so I got a fully loaded 2009 Nissan Maxima that looked exactly like this:

It was nice.

I arrived at the office at 1:30 and worked until 4:00. Then I was in a meeting from 4:00-6:00, followed by a team-building happy hour and then dinner which lasted until 10:00. The next day I was in back-to-back meetings from 8:30-4:00, with hardly any time to check email. I left at 4:00 and got home at 8:30. I'd brought an extra 1/2 of a sandwich and a cookie that were left over from lunch, and ate them in the car on the way home so I wouldn't have to stop.

It was a productive trip and it was nice to see my colleagues again. Since all of us work remotely we only see each other in person once a year, usually.

Crush du Jour: Matt Kobler

Maine approves of discrimination

I'm so upset by this I can hardly breath. This is why equal rights for GLBT people needs to be a federal issue, not a state referendum. History shows that the majority will usually fight to keep the minority from gaining power/equality. We need Congress to pass federal legislation providing ALL tax-paying citizen, straight and gay, with equal rights and protections.

Maine Voters Repeal Law Allowing Gay Marriage
By Abby Goodnough, NY Times

In a stinging setback for the national gay-rights movement, Maine voters narrowly decided to repeal the state’s new law allowing same-sex marriage.

With 87% of precincts reporting early this morning, 53% of voters had approved the repeal, ending an expensive and emotional fight that was closely watched around the country as a referendum on the national gay-marriage movement. Polls had suggested a much closer race.

With the repeal, Maine became the 31st state to reject same-sex marriage at the ballot box. Five other states - Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, New Hampshire and Vermont - have legalized same-sex marriage, but only through court rulings and legislative action.

The Maine vote was particularly discouraging for gay-rights groups because it took place in New England, the region that has been the most open to same-sex marriage, and because opponents of the repeal had far outspent backers. Gov. John Baldacci, a Democrat, had enthusiastically backed the state law allowing gay marriage, passed by the legislature in May but put on hold until the referendum took place.

The repeal came a year after California voters banned same-sex marriage with a constitutional amendment. Preliminary results showed strong opposition to the repeal in Portland, the state’s biggest city, but not enough to counter widespread support in more conservative regions to the north.

Throughout the bitter campaign, supporters of same sex marriage had stressed that gay couples deserve equal treatment under the law, banking on Maine’s reputation as a “live and let live” state. Opponents repeatedly warned voters that if gays were allowed to marry, it would be taught in the public schools, a tactic that proved effective in CA last year.

The Catholic Church was a leading supporter of the repeal campaign, even asking parishes to pass a second collection plate at Sunday mass to help the cause. The National Organization for Marriage also contributed heavily to the repeal campaign; it is under investigation by Maine’s ethics commission for possibly flouting state campaign finance laws by refusing to reveal its donors.

Crush du Jour: Juan Carlos Garcia

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Who knew? Well, now YOU do.

Crush du Jour: Garret Dilahunt

Surreal

sur-re-al –adjective
having the disorienting, hallucinatory quality of a dream; unreal; fantastic

'Surreal' is the perfect word to describe the experience of attending my cousin's wedding on Sat.

Spouse & I picked up my aunt Mary on our way to the wedding, which was held at a country club. The itinerary called for a 30-minute ceremony, followed by cocktail hour on the veranda, followed by the dinner/reception.

As we entered the foyer Spouse whispered "I see your parents". I could feel my heart rate increase immediately. As aunt Mary finished signing the guest book my mother greeted her with a hug and they began to chat a bit. In the meantime I quickly wrote mine and Spouse's names in the guestbook and then busied myself with asking the young woman handing out programs where the ceremony was being held. She pointed to the area and Spouse & I walked that way immediately.

We ran into a couple named Fran & Dolph who were old family friends and stopped to chat with them for several minutes. Before we could get to the safety of our seats, I saw 3 of my cousins (brothers of the bride) and we greeted each other and chatted for a few minutes. Next thing I knew, an usher was asking us to take our seats as the wedding was to begin shortly. We caught up with aunt Mary at the entrance to the ceremony room and the 3 of us took seats on the bride's side, 2 rows behind my parents and my middle sister and her husband.

Fear of rejection kept me from daring to make eye contact with them, so I pretended to adjust my camera for several minutes, then read the entire wedding program twice over. Finally the music changed and the procession began.

My cousin was stunningly beautiful and radiant. As she and her fiance repeated their vows I secretly wished it were me and Spouse taking wedding vows. The traditional "You may kiss your bride" moment, which has always puzzled me.

After the ceremony ended everyone was escorted to the veranda while the club employees moved the chairs from the ceremony room to the tables in the dining/reception room. Mary, Spouse & I had lovely passed hors d'oeuvres as we waited for the bar line to subside. My cousin Ashley's mother-in-law agreed to take a picture of us.

Mary was talking with some people I didn't know so Spouse suggested I get in the bar line and bring us back drinks, so I did. After introducing myself to two young women in front me in line, I was caught off-guard when my parents appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, drinks in hand. I had not seen them at the bar ahead of me.

Silently reminding myself to relax and be myself, I smiled slightly as they approached. My father smiled and called me by a childhood nickname, which caused my smile to widen. We shook hands and he told me I was looking good. Then in his characteristically quirky way, he gestured toward my mother and said "You remember your mother..." to which I responded evenly "Of course". I kissed her on the cheek and hugged her. I'd forgotten how short they were.

My father shocked me with his next question: "Is that Joe (Spouse) over there?" I turned to confirm it was him, then replied "Yes, that's him." It was amazing enough that my parents were speaking to me and being so friendly, but to then inquire about Spouse? It was almost too much to believe!

"Do you think he'd mind if I said hello to him?" my father asked. Okay, seriously. Who ARE these nice people parading around in my estranged parents' bodies? Describing the situation as 'unbelievable' hardly seems adequate. "No, he wouldn't mind at all" I responded. "Would you like me to call him over?" I offered. "No," my father said nonchalantly, "I know which one he is now". My head was spinning.

Just then, Fran happened to be passing by as my father asked for Spouse. Without missing a beat Fran told Spouse that my father had asked about him, so Spouse walked over and joined our conversation. (I still can hardly believe we were having a "conversation". After 16 years.) My parents shook hands with him and greeted him sincerely. My head was about to explode, or I was having a stroke. There had to be an explanation.

Then my father said "So you moved to Delaware. What prompted that? Were you following a job?" Grateful for the shift to a less emotionally charged subject, I explained our years of visiting the Delaware shore on weekends which lead to our desire to live there. "So, do you still like it?" he asked, to which we both replied affirmatively.

My parents' attention was then stolen by someone else who stopped to chat with them, obviously unaware of the landmark moment they were interrupting. I told Spouse "I'm getting back into the bar line" with added gusto.

A moment later I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to find my middle sister. We smiled at each other in that way a parent does when they send their child off to school for the first time, both happy and sad at the same time. We hugged each other longer than normal, and when we pulled apart she said "Man, its good to see you!"

I just knew that any second the alarm clock would sound and I would be woken from this crazy but pleasant dream. My sister and I talked for a few minutes, but I can not remember what about. It was just so surreal. Spouse saw the reunion and came over to meet my sister, who greeted him sincerely.

It seemed I'd never get to that bar, but eventually I did and I didn't even have time to finish my cocktail before the ushers swooshed us off the veranda and into the dining/reception room. The time just seemed to be flashing by at an abnormally fast pace.

Dinner began with a spicy Thai peanut soup that was so good I could have been happy with a gallon or 2 of it. Next came our entrees. We'd been given a choice when we RSVP'd of beef or crab cakes and Spouse & I had both chose the crab cakes. They were delicious and the presentation of them with the mashed potatoes and autumn veggies was so pretty I took a picture.
After dinner, as the traditional father/daughter dance and bouquet toss occurred, my sister found her way over to our table to hug me again and tell me how much she'd missed me. And while I was happy with such a warm reception from her and my parents, a tiny voice inside me wanted to banish all the happiness and shout at them in anger. I knew their religious beliefs forbid associating with me and others who leave or are kicked out of the religion, and their strict adherence to that was never a surprise to me. But as the hugs and smiles kept coming, part of me wanted to shake them by the shoulders and say "This is how things could be for us all the time!!!"

But I knew they couldn't. I knew that when the festivities were over they would return home and return to the shunning behavior they'd been forced into for the last 16 years. I could scream and I could shake them by the shoulders but it wouldn't help. I knew the night would end and so would this fantasy. There really was no point in ruining it for anyone, including myself.

The wedding cake, in the shape of the Eiffel Tower where the happy couple became engaged, was cut and served.

Everyone danced to the DJ's terrific song selections until he encouraged everyone to surround the newlyweds as they danced their last dance of the night.

Spouse & I made our rounds to all the friends and relatives to say goodnight and bid everyone a safe drive home. As I shook my father's hand and kissed my mother's cheek, there were no invitations to come and visit, just as I had predicted to myself. The night was almost over and my carriage was about to turn back into a pumpkin.

Spouse & I had a very nice time at the wedding and reception. I felt grateful to my cousin for inviting us. It was nice to reconnect with my cousins and other non-JW family members. My uncle came all the way from CA. It was even nice to spend that time with my parents and sister. Had they not been so friendly it could have been a long, uncomfortable night of trying to avoid one another.

But as it was, everyone enjoyed themselves and I felt as if I'd been in a fairy tale for 6 hours.

Crush du Jour: Aurelio Marks

Addition update - week 20

Week 20
This is the last installment of the addition updates, as this week the addition was finished!
Mon: Mike the builder came for a mini walk-thru to check for any missing final touches. He also put the hooks on the shelf towers.
There are 2 of these double hooks on each side of both of the shelf towers. These will hold robes and clothes you don't want to fold or hang.

Tues: Mike installed a 3rd corner shelf in the shower for use as a place to prop my foot.

Wed: Mike the builder sent over a cleaning crew since there was so much construction dust. They did not clean the entire house, but did more than 1/2 of it, which was really helpful. The masonry crew began breaking up the original stamped concrete driveway. They got about 1/3 of it done.

Thurs: Jay fixed one of the tub handles which the cleaning crew found to be loose. He & Junior removed the last of the tools from the garage.

Fri: Jay & Junior finished up the last of the interior and exterior touch-up painting, remounted the towel bar more securely, and installed the deadbolt on rear door of the garage.

With the exception of the original driveway, the addition project is complete!

On the ground level there is a 16' wide, 23' long garage. Above the garage is the extension of the master bathroom and the closet/dressing area. Care to go on a tour?

From the master bedroom looking into the bathroom:

We re-used the vanity, sinks, and mirror in their original locations.

To the right of the vanity is the walkway into the rest of the bathroom:

As you walk through the walkway there is a toilet closet (with pocket door) on the right:

We re-used the toilet and tissue holder from the original bathroom.

On the left, built into the eave, is a custom-built display/storage shelf:

Under the 3 windows is a 2-person heated/jetted jacuzzi tub:

To the right of the tub is the 2-person tiled shower room. This view shows the 'rain' shower head that extends down from the ceiling:

This view shows the 2nd shower head which has a removable, hand-held sprayer. This will make cleaning the shower tile more convenient, too.

To the right of the shower is the 'his and his' closet/dressing room. Both sides have a 7' tall shelf tower, an 8' long rod for hanging clothes, an 8' long shelf above the rod, and a 7' long shoe shelf underneath the hanging area. This is my side:

This is the center section. The door leads to storage space under the eave.

This is Spouse's side. On the wall opposite of Spouse's hanging area you can see another shelf. It is for wallets, watches, etc. Underneath it is space for dirty clothes hampers. The idea is for this to be a dressing/undressing room where all of our clothes will be centralized.

On the far right (above) are several hooks for belts.

That's it - its finally done! We are so happy with the finished project. It turned out exactly how we planned it. And now that its clean, we are ready to move in.

I hope you have enjoyed following this project with me. It has been educational for me to witness and interesting to share with you. Just in case you want to see it all over again from start to finish, click on the "addition" tag at the end of this post or on the left side of the blog and you will see all addition posts and photos.

Crush du Jour: Peter Pagan

Friday fragments

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

Spouse unexpectedly took the day off today. He slept in, we went to lunch together, and now he's running some errands. Work is rather slow for him right now, so it was a good day to take off.

I saw this and laughed out loud:

My friend Jared supplied me with this photo:
along with his caption "I didn't know Jesus was into that kind of thing." Don't you just love clever people?

Tomorrow is my cousin's wedding, which I wrote about here. I have learned that my parents will be there, as well as my middle sister and her husband. I'm not quite sure what to expect from them, but I am not worried or concerned. I have decided that if my parents and/or sister approach me and say something ingratiating like "Its nice to see you", I'm NOT going to reply "Its nice to see you, too". Instead, I will simply say "Thank you". I will not allow them to sweep 16 years under the carpet as if nothing happened.

Although Halloween is supposed to be a time for scary fun, it can be plain old scary if you are the parent of an effeminate young boy. Fortunately, The Onion has some helpful masculine costume suggestions! Check it out here.

Speaking of Halloween costumes, this is one of the BEST Halloween costumes EVER!

Have a fun, safe Halloween and a terrific weekend!

Crush du Jour: Ignacio Torres

Memories of Halloweens past

I'm disappointed that Spouse & I will not be able to participate in any fun Halloween activities this year. My cousin's wedding and reception is from 4:00-9:30 on Sat. When its over we will have about an hour's drive to get back to Spouse's mom's house where we're staying so I'm sure he will not want to go out anywhere after we've gotten out of our suits and ties.

So instead of doing anything for Halloween this year, I am just going to relive some fun memories from Halloweens past.

This is me & Spouse last year dressed as Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone. We wore these costumes to 2 different Halloween parties last year. (All photos on this page may be clicked to enlarge.)
The Barney and Fred costume idea was Spouse's. I could have thought of at least 100 other (read: better) costume ideas, but acquiesced since I knew Spouse would be more apt to actually participate if he were happy and comfortable in his costume. We used fleece throws from Wal-Mart, sewn with the help of our friend Bugsy, and I used iron-on patches for the spots on Fred's tunic. At the party people only seemed to 'get' my costume if I was standing with Spouse. Alone my costume was ambiguous, and I was asked if I were a monk and John the Baptist. So I tried to stand and sit near Spouse the rest of the time.

Here's a photo of my Halloween 2006 costume, sandwiched between Richard Simmons and the Bride of Frankenstein.
The scary part of it is that I put together the Boy George costume completely from clothing Spouse & I already owned! The only thing I bought was the wig and the stick-on numbers. I won 1st runner up in a costume contest at Freddie's Beach Bar.

Back in 1996 I talked 5 of my female co-workers into dressing up with me as The Village People. I'm the Cowboy on the right. The other 5 are females! Check out the Leatherman with the huge mustache.

In this photo we're lip-syncing the song "Y.M.C.A." and doing simple choreography in the breakroom at work. I'm not sure I've ever laughed as hard or as long as I did that day. Good times!

In 1994 I dressed as a patient in a hospital bed.

I'm actually standing up in this picture. The 'bed' is made of cardboard, with a whole in the middle in which I'm standing. I have rope suspenders over my shoulders, holding the 'bed' up. The 'legs' are panty hose stuffed with plastic bags. I won 1st place in a costume contest with this.

I hope everyone has a fun and safe Halloween. Don't forget to take pictures and post them on your blogs!

Crush du Jour: George Sherrill

Flu prevention

With all the concerns over H1N1 (or swine flu), I thought I'd share these flu prevention tips:

1. Eat right. Make sure you get your daily dose of fruits and veggies.

2. Take vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

3. Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system. Walk at least an hour a day OR go for a swim, take the stairs, etc.

4. Wash your hands often. If you can't wash them with soap and warm water, keep a bottle of antibacterial hand sanitizer around.
5. Get lots of fresh air. Open doors and windows whenever possible.

6. Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can.

7. Get plenty of rest.

Consider your Doctor's approach: When you go for a flu shot, what do they do first? Clean your arm with alcohol because alcohol kills germs. So, do what I do...

1. Walk briskly to the liquor store (exercise)
2. Put a lime wedge in your Corona (fruit)
3. Put a celery stalk in your Bloody Mary (veggies)
4. Drink outdoors at a patio bar (fresh air)
5. Tell jokes and laugh (eliminate stress)
6. Then pass out (rest)

The way I see it, if you keep your alcohol level up, flu germs can't get you!

Remember what Gandhi always said: "A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass."

And if you want to go that extra step toward flu prevention, wear a homemade ask:
Crush du Jour: Siomon Dexter

Too much to ask

Recently I mentioned that Spouse & I are looking for a housekeeper to come every other week. We don't want to spend our evenings and weekends cleaning, especially with all the house guests we have.

So I sent an email out to my local friends, asking if anyone could recommend a good, reliable, reasonably priced housekeeper. I'd rather use a recommended resource than calling one of those maid services that sends a different person every time. I got several recommendations from my friends, which made me happy.

Then I set about contacting the recommended people. To let them know how I got their name and number, I started each call or voice mail message like this:

"Hi, my name is Mark in DE and I got your name from Mutual Friend. I'm interested in getting a quote for housekeeping, every two weeks. Please give me a call at..."

Now, you may recall that I written several times about living in a small town with no real professional employment options. People who live here are either retired, work from home like me, work in a restaurant or retail store, or own their own business. I would think that housekeepers (and others) who own their own business would jump at calls like mine, especially in these 'challenging economic times'. Its harder for business owners to get new clients in small towns.

But do you think I've been overwhelmed by the responses to my calls and voice messages? Hardly!

One guy said he has enough work to keep him busy and really couldn't take on any new clients. Surprising, but fair enough.

One woman told me she didn't have enough clients to 'make it work' so she went back to work full-time doing something else. Understandable.

After listing the rooms for her, one woman told me my "house is too big". Really? Its not exactly Buckingham Palace or the White House.

Another guy seemed less than grateful at the prospect of having me as a possible new client. He said he would call me in 2-3 days and make an appointment to come over. That was a week ago.

Two others never returned the messages I left for them.

Today a guy came to give me an estimate. We walked through the house together and he explained what they would do in each room. I must admit that if they do everything he claims, it would be very thorough. But I nearly choked when he told me with a straight face that it would be $200. per cleaning. Yes, we have a dog and a cat but they sleep 22 out of 24 hours a day. Its not like we have any 4 dirty, smelly, grimy children running amok here.

I'm perplexed. Really, is it really too much to ask for a good, reliable, affordable housekeeper?

Is it too much to ask that someone returns my call?

Crush du Jour: Robert Sepulveda

NYC highlights

Thurs it was sunny and warm, so I wore shorts and a t-shirt on the BoltBus to NYC. We came dangerously close to missing the bus because Spouse & I were talking and missed our exit. Once in NYC Lisa took our suitcase up to her office so we could roam around and explore. We met her back at her office at 5:30 and went to dinner with her and her friend/colleague Howard. We liked him a lot, as she knew we would. We had Thai food at Yum Yum Bangkok which we all liked. It was a gorgeous night and quite enjoyable to be in the city. Celebrity siting: Cole Escola from Logo's Jeffrey and Cole Casserole.

On Fri it was as if we'd woken up in a different month. It was overcast, quite chilly, and windy. The temperature literally dropped 20 degrees overnight. Dressed in jeans, long sleeves, and jackets we made our way to the tip of Manhattan to visit the Cloisters.

As I was taking the photo above, one of the guards yelled "No flash photography please!" Although he said "please", I knew he really meant "@sshole". It kind of pissed me off. I mean, what are they afraid of? The flash might cause the LIMESTONE to fade? Give me a break. The place is like a cave inside and since it was overcast there was very little light coming in from the windows. Without the flash it would be pointless to take photos. Honestly, it kind of soured the experience for me. I did take some outdoor photos though.

I thought it was neat how they trained this tree to grow vertically and horizontally, rather than at its natural angles.

The views from the gardens were gorgeous, especially at this time of the year. I took more scenic photos, but Spouse accidentally deleted some of them while trying to change a light setting on the camera.

Just outside the Cloisters we had lunch at New Leaf Restaurant, housed in an old building in historic Tryon Park. Initially we thought it might be one of those rip-off places that charges an arm and a leg because there's no competition around. But we were delightfully impressed with the quality and tastiness of our food. I took photos of our plates since they were so beautifully presented, but the photos were deleted. Then we took the train down to West Greenwich Village to browse about the many gay-owned/operated stores. As we walked down W 4th St we noticed Village Cuts, a barbershop. Spouse joked that since he'd not had a chance to get his hair cut before this trip, he should stop in. I quickly agreed, since he was looking a little shaggy. Gregory gave him a great cut and was very nice. Who'd have guessed that a haircut in Manhattan would cost less than in DE! Next we stopped in for a pastry and a hot cup of coffee at Patisserie Claude which really warmed us up. I had a pumpkin tartlet and Spouse had a chocolate eclair. Then we hopped the train back to Lisa's so Spouse could have a nap and we could change clothes.

Later we met up with Miss Ginger Grant, Howard, and David Dust at David's apt before having a tasty Afghan dinner at Ariana. Since it was raining we took cabs to "The Urges", also known as Urge Lounge, for a little 'entertainment'. A favorite among the Dust Bunnies, Urge has good-looking, well-built guys walk around the bar top for appreciative patrons to admire and tip. I must admit the 'performers' we hot!

Since we were out late the night before, we enjoyed a nice, leisurely Sat morning with Lisa. It was raining off and on, but it was much warmer than Fri. Umbrellas in hand, we eventually made our way to Chinatown and met up with David, Ginger, and Howard for lunch at the Excellent Dumpling House, which truly lives up to its name. We stuffed ourselves with all kinds of dim sum, and Spouse & I even had the audacity to order entrees! Next we walked over to the famous Pearl River Mart, followed by Jack's $.99 store, both of which were real experiences! We hopped the train back to Queens to shower, nap, and chat with Lisa. Then the 3 of us headed to Chelsea for a 25th anniversary party for Lisa's friend Bobby and his partner Bruce. It was nice. Our plan was to meet up with David, Ginger, and Howard at Escuilita to see Lady Bunny, but this was cancelled due to the yucky weather and the general lack of Dust Bunny turn out. So Lisa, Spouse & I had a late night snack (read: meal) at Pete's Grill, then returned to Lisa's and talked until 1:30.

Sun morning Lisa made omelets and biscuits for breakfast, we packed up our suitcase and took the train to meet the BoltBus at noon. Unfortunately the bus wasn't scheduled to come until 12:30 (I looked at the boarding pass wrong) so we had to stand and wait and extra 1/2 hour on top of the extra time we'd allowed. But we got home by 5:00 and had a relaxing night of TV watching before going to bed.

So ends another DDBW, al-be-it a much more tame one than before. It was great to see Lisa, David, Ginger, and Howard again!

Crush du Jour: George Vidanov

Addition update - week 19

Week 19
I'm missing all the photos taken before our trip to NYC because Spouse accidentally deleted them. I tried to fill in with photos taken after we returned home.

Mon: All the nail holes in the baseboards and chair rail molding were filled, sanded, and painted with top coat of white paint.The scrap materials were sorted for storage and disposal, and the materials for closet built-ins were delivered.

Tues: The dumpster was hauled away. All the trim and doors received a final coat of white paint. The closet built-ins were started, beginning with the rod for hanging clothes, then the shelf towers were constructed.
Wed: The other shelf tower was installed, as well as the shelf on the right wall below. Hooks for belts.The register covers were installed throughout the bathroom and closet/dressing room.Two towel rings were installed, one at either end of the vanity, for hand towels.The double towel bar for bath towels was re-installed. It was re-used from the previous bathroom.
Thurs: The stained beadboard panels were attached to the tub apron. (They can be removed to access the tub mechanicals.)The clear glass shower door was installed.The closet built-ins were completed. There is a shelf tower on either end for jeans, shorts, sweaters, and any other folded items, and spanning the full length of the long wall is a rod for hanging clothes since we hang t-shirts as well as polo-style and button-ups, a shelf above the hanging rod for addition folded items, and a shelf below the hanging rod for shoes.
Fri: A section of railing was re-installed to complete the front porch. The light fixture was installed in the bathroom (in front of the shower and closet doors).The door knobs and striker plates were installed.The toilet paper holder was re-installed. It was re-used from the previous bathroom.Glass mosaic tile was applied between the mirror and the backsplash. This brings the mosaic tile from the shower and tub to the vanity, uniting these three elements.

Crush du Jour: Russell Martin

Friday fragments

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

Its day 2 of our NYC trip and our plan is to visit the Cloisters today. I've heard its amazing.

The garage/bathroom/closet/dressing room addition should be finished when we get back from NYC. Well, not completely finished since the old driveway and sidewalk won't be poured yet, but practically finished. I suspect we will sleep in our bedroom when we return Sun night, and use the bathroom once its cleaned. I am practically GIDDY over the idea of moving our clothes and shoes from 3 separate closets into our new closet/dressing room!

Next Tues a guy is coming to give us a quote for regular housecleaning every other week. We had a housekeeper when we lived in VA and we felt it was a worthy expense, but when we moved here we just couldn't afford it. But things have changed and now we can afford it. We do not want to spend our evenings and/or weekends cleaning. We are active people who have lots of houseguests. Its time to get a housekeeper again. I hope we like this guy who's coming on Tues.

Have you seen those new Purex 3-in-1 laundry sheets? Its a sheet that contains detergent, fabric softener, and anti-static you toss in the washer AND dryer.

Spouse picked them up at the store (because he loves gadgets and this is sort of like a gadget) and I must admit they are pretty nice. Saves me from having to measure liquid detergent (which I always seem to get on my hands) and remember whether or not I tossed a dryer sheet in the dryer. Print a coupon and try them yourself. Now, if I could just get Spouse to empty his pockets before throwing his pants into the hamper.

This video made the rounds on Facebook this week. I think its very good. Imagine if straight people had to ask for their community's permission to marry? As obsurd as it sounds, that's exactly what is happening for GLBT people in states where same sex marriage is put on the ballot for community vote.

Crush du Jour: Robert Gonzalez

Off to NYC

Today we are leaving for a 4-day weekend in NYC.

As we've done before, we will drive to Cherry Hill NJ where we will board the BoltBus. Its cheap and comfortable, and will drop us off right by Penn Station. If interested in photos or our agenda from past NYC trips, click here and here (May 2009) and here (Oct 2008).

We will be staying in the home of our fab friend Lisa again, in Sunnyside Queens. Its so convenient, only 25 minutes from Penn Station to her doorstep. We're looking forward to having dinner with Lisa and her friend Howard on Thurs evening. She has talked about Howard several times and he seems like our kind of guy.

We are planning to tour the Cloisters on Fri during the day, meet up with an old high school friend of mine for drinks/dinner in the evening, then join the other Dust Bunnies later that night.
Sat we will do some sightseeing, including Pearl River Mart and Chinatown during the day, then meet up with the Dust Bunnies again for more cocktails and hijinx. If you are reading this and will be in NYC this Sat night, consider joining us!

Sun we'll have a good, hearty breakfast at Pete's Grill before catching the bus home.

Spouse doesn't like me to over-schedule our trips so we feel free to do what we want, as opposed to feeling like we have to do what's on the schedule. We travel well together so I'm sure we will have a great time.


Crush du Jour: Andre Coelho

Yoga

Back in March I mentioned taking a free yoga class at the gym where Spouse & I belong. I liked it a lot and went again the following week. At that class, the instructor informed us she would no longer be leading the class, due to personal commitments. She seemed to think the gym would find someone else to lead the class.

I showed up the following week to find an empty classroom. When I inquired at the desk, I was informed they had not yet found anyone to lead the class. I checked back several more times over the following weeks but was told the same.

A friend of mine recently joined the same gym and told me he was interested in the yoga class. Sure enough, 6 months later the gym had finally found someone to lead the yoga class again.

So I went last night. Wow... it was a real work out. The original class was an hour long and had more beginners like me, including several men. This new class is an hour and a half long and had 2 experienced ladies, 1 inexperienced lady, and me.

Since yoga is about relaxation and stretching, I am always surprised how physically demanding it is. It requires a lot of strength to hold some of those positions. The stretching some people can do simply amazes me. But I am sure I will become more flexible as I continue taking the class each week.

I made it through the entire thing without needing to stop and rest, which is just short of a miracle, although the instructor said it was fine to do so. Afterward I had dinner and watched TV with Spouse for a while, and when I got up from the sofa to go to bed, I could already feel it in my muscles. I took 2 ibuprofen before going to bed, which I believe really helped reduce my soreness today.

Anyone else do yoga?

Crush du Jour: Philip Fusco

Double standard

By now everyone has heard that last Thursday's "balloon boy" incident turned out to be a hoax perpetrated by the parents in an attempt to market themselves for a future reality TV series in which they would star.

I'd like to highlight a few things about this situation for you to consider:

• It was reported on CNN that the Heenes pitched a reality show idea to the cable station TLC which was rejected.
• The parents' "hoax" was actually a lie and a fraud for which they will likely face legal charges.
• They forced their 3 children to participate in this fraud and set a terrible parental example for them.
• Their fraud cost the police and other authorities considerable time and money, and resulted in a temporary diverting of airline traffic.
• The Heene family participated in an episode of a reality show called "Wife Swap" where two very different families live for some period of time with the other family's wife/mother while camera crews film the resulting tension and family discord.
• Richard Heene refers to himself as a meteorologist, although he possesses nothing more than a high school education.
• Heene sometimes brings the family along when he chases storms, endangering himself and his family.
• A former colleague described Heene as hyperactive, driven by fame and self-promotion.
• According to the New York Post, Heene is convinced that he was once abducted by extraterrestrials, and that Armageddon will arrive in 2012.
• A 911 call from the Heene's home earlier this year raised suspicions of possible domestic violence against Mrs. Heene. During the "balloon boy" incident authorities spoke at length with her about domestic violence as well as the children's safety.
• One can only imagine the emotional trauma inflicted upon the Heene children by their obviously unsteady parents.

Where are the Heene children now? At home with their parents. Sheriff Jim Alderden says the children remain in the home with the parents because authorities "didn't have enough that would allow us or Child Protection Services to physically take the kids."

Really? Not even temporarily, until the parents were either charged or exonerated? Does the list above sound like the description of healthy, fit parents to you? I think not.

But here's the real kicker: Imagine how different the situation would be if Richard Heene were gay and parenting these 3 children. I'd be willing to bet a week's salary that the sheriff and/or Child Protective Services would have removed the children from the home immediately if Keene were gay.

Isn't it ironic that in many states stable gays and lesbians can not be foster parents or adopt children, solely based on their sexual orientation, while the Heenes and others can endanger their children's safety, involve them in illegal activities, inflict emotional trauma, and set an example of bad choices and illegal behavior?

What a sickening double standard.

Crush du Jour: Mark Salling

Weekend highlights

Mike & Clark and Ron & James arrived Fri evening and the 6 of us went out to dinner and then picked up some supplies at the grocery and liquor stores. We talked and laughed and got caught up on each others' lives until 11:30 when we reluctantly put our tired selves to bed.

Sat morning I baked a sausage/egg/cheese casserole for breakfast while Spouse was at his personal trainer appointment. We had the casserole along with zucchini bread Clark had made and orange/cranberry scones that James had made and talked until early afternoon. It was rainy and yucky outside but a few of the guys decided to do some shopping. I stayed home to upload my photos and write about the week's addition progress. That afternoon we had cocktails and snacks, then went to dinner at Eden in Rehoboth Beach, which everyone really liked. I had an amazing entree of seared scallops with linguini and butternut squash cream sauce. Since it was Autumn Jazz Festival there was a jazz combo playing. When we got home we watched "Drop Dead Gorgeous" which everyone really enjoyed, and "Boy's Life 5" shorts, which were somewhat enjoyable.

Sun morning we had coffee, zucchini bread and scones to tide us over until brunch. We had an 11am reservation for Rigby's Sun Jazz Brunch, featuring local songstress Holly Lane. I had shrimp and grits, and all 6 of us had the curried acorn squash soup which was amazing! Everyone really enjoyed the food and entertainment. Ron & James left for home directly from brunch, and Mike & Clark left shortly after we returned home. I spent the afternoon reading the film synopsis and marking the films I want to see at next month's Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival while Spouse napped and computed. Later we had delicious turkey and vegetable soup at Steven & Thad's and visited with them for a while. It was the perfect way to wind up a lovely weekend with friends!

Crush du Jour: Butch Grand

Addition update - week 18

Week 18
There was a flurry of activity and progress this week! An end is in sight! As always, click the photos to enlarge them.

Mon: The 16"x16" ceramic floor tile was set. It is a light sand color, similar to travertine, but a fraction of the cost of travertine.

The attic access was cut into the ceiling of the dressing room and framed.

Tues: The floor tile was grouted and the chair rail molding installed.

Lots and lots of chair rail molding.

The radiant heat "warm wire" was fished through the wall.

The sills around the tub were set.

Wed: The blue underlyment was cut and laid in the closet/dressing room in preparation for the installation of the laminate flooring.

Some of the porch columns that were carefully removed from the wrap-around porch were re-installed to create a more formal entry from the new driveway to the porch and front door.

The radiant heated floor thermostat/control unit was installed and tested. Mmm, toasty toes! The extra cost of this feature was definitely worth it!

The tile was set on the shelf behind the tub.

The light switch plates were installed.

The white electric sockets were switched out with brown ones to blend in better with the color of the wainscoting, and face plates were installed.

Thurs: The laminate floor was installed in the closet/dressing room.

A relocated exterior light was wired, and the foyer ceiling light fixture was re-installed.

The tile on the shelf behind the tub was grouted.

The vanity was re-installed and the sinks were reconnected. The beadboard and chair rail molding on the window wall near the vanity was completed.

Fri: The baseboards were installed in the main bathroom, closet/dressing room, and toilet room.

The shower fixtures were installed.

The shower room tile was grouted. (That's the white haze seen over the tile. It had not been wiped off yet.)

The tub fixtures were installed.

The toilet was re-installed.

The crew seems to think they will be finished next week! I hope they're right. There appears to be some nail-hole filling and top coat painting needed, the installation of the beadboard panels around the tub apron, and the removal of the original driveway and the pouring of the new driveway. I can't believe its almost done!

Crush du Jour: Thomas Jane