Thursday, March 08, 2012

Making it legal

You may recall that civil unions went into effect in DE on Jan 1, yet I haven't written about any thoughts of plans for such.

Spouse & I are prime candidates for a civil union since he is a State employee and I am self-employed.  A civil union would allow me to get his 'Cadillac' health benefits, vision benefits, and dental benefits at a bargain price.  I currently have private, basic health insurance and pay nearly $200. per month for it.

So why haven't we gotten hitched already?

Well, Spouse & I have very different feelings about it.  I remember attending many weddings over the years that were joyful and fun.  I believe in marriage.  I've been waiting my whole life to be formally pronounced someone's husband.  But Spouse feels marriage is basically an outdated cultural custom that has no relevance to our life... even though we live EXACTLY like a traditional married couple.  He has absolutely no desire to get married, yet we've been wearing gold bands on our wedding ring fingers for 15 years.

So recently we have been talking a lot more about it.  Financially and legally it makes a lot of sense.  We just have to figure out how to do it in a way that both of us come out the other side happy.


Anonymous said...

This is what bothers me so much about the debate. Gay marriage is sold to the majority as a love issue when it is really a financial issue. If it was just about love and then we already had that and we defined it as we saw fit.

Having the government legalize marriage of same gender couples is about financial benefits and protections - lessons learned the hard way during the height of the AIDS pandemic when surviving partners lost/had everything stolen from them by "families' and the government.

Each marriage and or union makes it that much harder to keep us in the back of the bus. And while Spouse may have his thoughts about what his marriage/union should or shouldn't be, remember that marriage is different now from what it was 50, 100, 1,000 years ago and will be different from now 10, 50 years into the future.

One last question, you and spouse use coupons and shop for discounts, right? So why not look at a civil union license as a coupon and a change to register at BB&B and Creat and Barrel?

BosGuy said...

I agree with your spouse with regards to marriage. MA made this legal in 2004 but my partner and I have not married. But I understand why people want to marry (both for love) as well as the financial and legal reasons Sean addresses. Maybe one day we'll tie the knot down in Provincetown. Who knows.

anne marie in philly said...

I am still waiting to throw the confetti! :-)