Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I do but you don't

I began reading this article with the intent of being satisfied that the number of people who favor same sex marriage is going up. After all its title is "Near Split in US Over Legal Gay Marriage".

And while I was encouraged that half the people polled are in favor of marriage equality, I was simultaneously disturbed by the hypocrisy of the mother who "thinks the world" of her daughter's same sex partner and believes they should have equal rights, but can't support marriage equality due to her religion.

The writer is kind, in my opinion, by suggesting that "its complicated" and that "Americans are grappling with it". Maybe I'm overly sensitive to religion-based hypocrisy because of my own family's estrangement, but really... how "complicated" is it? You either believe in equality and vote for it or you don't.

Some may feel like the mother in this article, that gays should have equal rights in everything except marriage. But that really wouldn't make them EQUAL, now would it? Getting the same rights through an alternative measure (not through marriage) inherently creates a separate class.

Some seem to think that same sex couples should simply move to a state that offers same sex marriage. Can you imagine how preposterous it would be if that were truly implemented? What if 10% of the US population moved to the 6 states and the District of Columbia where they can legally marry? Even more preposterous is the idea that such a suggestion might have been made to African Americans 50 years ago when they sought legal equality.

The other grossly overlooked piece of the puzzle is that same sex couples who are married in the 6 states plus the District of Columbia where same sex marriage is legal only receive equal STATE rights. They still do not get equal FEDERAL rights.

Yet somehow these well-meaning people like the mother in this article allow their religion to override their consideration and respect for their very own daughter and her partner. The mother concludes the article by saying “We had to bring them to the
house and hug them and love them and tell them these things and not let that keep us apart.”

In my opinion, this should keep her and her daughter apart. My parents and siblings chose their religious beliefs over their relationship with me and in a twisted way I'm glad they did. At least they aren't hypocrites. At least they don't "think the world" of me & Spouse in their home and then vote against our equality. My family's behavior is at least consistent with their speech.

It seems to me that some people want to act hypocritically and then excuse it or try to reduce its impact by saying "its complicated". Well, important decisions frequently are complicated but that does not mean we have any less responsibility to do the right thing. The true measure of one's character is how they act in "complicated" situations.

You can read the article here and feel free to share your thoughts with me by commenting on this post.


anne marie in philly said...

equality for everyone! no exceptions!

and rick santorum can go to the dogs! although I'm not sure even THEY would have him!

Roger said...

Very well said!

cb said...

Nobody likes my argument, but I think marriage should only be for straights (and in a church). BUT, I also think Marriage should afford straight people ZERO governmental benefits, as marriage is a "religious institution".

That's why I believe that if you want government benefits, you need a civil union... and that goes for EVERYONE. That way, there's no discrimination.

It's the whole marriage religious context that fucks things up. (once again, leave it to religion...)