Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Bob Evans

Bob Evans has never been one of my favorite restaurants, partly because of the mediocre food, but mostly due to the "atmosphere".  We would occasionally go there with Spouse's mother when we lived in VA and took her to dinner on Thurs evenings. 

I'm not sure why but Bob Evans seems to be a big favorite with the seniors.  And of course I have nothing against seniors!  They're wonderful people and they deserve to eat out.  But the seniors I've often seen at Bob Evans seem to have 1 foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel, if you know what I mean.

It can be 105 degrees outside and they will slide their walkers into the Bob Evans wearing Bermuda shorts from the 1970s cinched at the waste with a white belt to keep them up because they've lost 30 lbs since they bought the shorts 40 years ago, with white nylon knee socks, black orthopedic shoes, and a clear tube extending from their nose to their pull-along oxygen tank.  Some of the 'hipsters' will also be wearing a baseball cap with the gasoline station logo on it.

Come on!  Who wouldn't lose their appetite after seeing that?!?!

When Spouse used to suggest having a meal there I would tell him I didn't want to come home smelling like bacon and Ben-Gay.

I think the side orders part of the menu includes Geritol and Metamucil.

Recently Steven & Thad conspired with Spouse and the 4 of us went to dinner at Bob Evans.  Very little if anything had changed since my last visit years ago with Spouse's mom.

First off we were sat at a booth behind a 'mature' couple who had to be 120 years old if they were a day.  She couldn't hear very well so her husband talked REALLY LOUD the entire time, and each time the waitress asked if she wanted more coffee or water the lady would yell "HEH???"

Just a moment or 2 after being seated we heard this horrible wet, gloppy cough coming from the woman at the table across the aisle.  Not a dry, raspy cough, but a big, fat, juicy cough that sounded like she needed a receptacle for whatever she was coughing up.  Steven & Thad looked at me for a reaction and I just rolled my eyes.  The coughing occurred several more times after our food arrived, and hearing it made me not want to eat. 

I've never seen so many wheelchairs, scooters, walkers, oxygen tanks, or canes in 1 place in my entire life!

I'm sure this account will make some of you think I'm a horrible person for talking about old people this way, but its not like I think they shouldn't eat at Bob Evans.  To the contrary, I think that I shouldn't eat at Bob Evans.

1 comment:

anne marie in philly said...

oh cripes, this is what it's like to eat out in upstate PA, where my MIL lives. doesn't matter which restaurant you choose, the zombies are EVERYWHERE! ya gotta wonder if 1 or more of them will shuffle off this moral coil before you finish your entree!

if I ever let like that, please stab me! put me outta my misery!