Thursday, January 10, 2008

"Is this shirt cotton?"

On Christmas eve I put on a long sleeve, button-up the front shirt with a navy blue background and a burgundy and gold pattern that sort of resembled poinsettias. They aren't poinsettias for sure, but when you're in the Christmas spirit and see this shirt it gives the hint of poinsettias. In truth I only wear this shirt during the holidays.

Spouse's mother said she liked the shirt, touched the sleeve, and asked "Is this shirt cotton?" I told her it was, and silently wondered why she'd asked.

In the past, Spouse's mother's comments about fabric and clothing have only been ones related to her delight over the amount of glitter, sequins, and beading her new sweater had (the girl loves to sparkle), or maybe a desire for new purple or red "slacks" (as she calls pants) to wear to her Red Hat Society events. So I was a little surprised at her question about my shirt fabric.

When we returned to her house the following weekend, Spouse & I changed clothes for 2 holiday parties. This time my shirt had a black background with multi-color pin stripes. Again Spouse's mother said she liked my shirt, touched the sleeve, and asked "Is this shirt cotton?" I told her it was, and noted that this was the 2nd time within a week she'd inquired.

I tried to think like she thinks so I could back track and hopefully figure out why her sudden interest in the fabric content of my clothes. Although I did not confirm this with her, this is what I came up with.

She met up with a few of her girlfriends for lunch, all of whom are in their 70s or 80s. Upon arrival at the restaurant, Spouse's mother takes off her coat and discovers a lot of static electricity is causing her "slacks" to stick to her legs, rather than hang naturally. She complains about the static electricity and laments that there is nothing she can do about it. God forbid she and her septuagenarian and octogenarian friends are spied by some handsome, available man while she has static electricity in her "slacks"!

Her crotchety old friend Gloria, ever the fashion vixen, responds with "Aw Christ, Evelyn! Maybe if you didn't wear 100% polyester slacks you wouldn't have that problem!"

Spouse's mother replies "Your slacks don't have static. What are they made of?"
"Cotton!" Gloria shouts.

So this is how I explain Spouse's mother's sudden interest in fabric content.

Crush du Jour: Brett Chukerman

1 comment:

cb said...

Hey, not to be 'mean' or anything... but I might rethink those shirts. I think the pattern in that top one went out sometime in the late 80's.

When in doubt, go for plain colors- that's my motto. That way your face becomes the focus, and doesn't get lost in some tragic pattern.

I'm just sayin'... :-)