On Sat we went sailing. Yard sailing, that is.
Every year this neighborhood near us has a gigantic neighborhood yard sale. They close off a street and all the neighbors bring their unwanted or no longer needed items to the street to sell. They've been having this big yard sale for about 18 years, I think. For the last few years it has been our tradition to go with my aunt Mary. The Newlyweds have also gone the last 2 years, as they are avid bargain hunters as well.
In the past I've gotten lots of great bargains. One year I got a complete place setting for 8 of dishes for $10. I didn't need the dishes, but they were such a good bargain (and quite attractive) that I bought them anyway with the idea I would donate them to a needy family. I kept those dishes for almost 6 months until the call came for 'Secret Santa'. I was thrilled to have them to give.
Another year I bought a ceramic bowl with an iris on it for $5. There was a chip broken off one the petals of the iris but I liked it anyway.
This year I got a cute metal side table for $8. The top was painted to look like its wood, with a small flower and leaf motif on the top. It folds up for easy storage, and since it is metal it can be used indoors or outdoors. Delightful!
Afterward we went to the large Civitan yard sale that is actually not held in anyone's yard, but rather in a County parking garage. Dozens of people have paid a small fee to set up tables to sell their stuff. You find more 'collectibles' at this sale, as opposed to the unwanted/no longer needed items at the neighborhood sale.
I didn't buy anything this time, but the last time we went to the Civitan sale I bought a very cute set of 3 vintage aluminum canisters, embossed with 'sugar', 'flour', and 'tea' in art deco style lettering. They look fab in our kitchen, with our stainless steel appliances.
We used to go yard sailing all the time, in our earlier years when we were still nesting and 'setting up housekeeping' as the old folks would say. These days we shudder at the thought of what we'll do with all our "stuff" when we move. If our next house doesn't have exactly the same number and size of rooms, something won't fit. But then I tell myself to relax and not feel too attached to this "stuff". After all, its not the "stuff" - but rather the people - that makes the life.
And speaking of "the people", after the yard sailing we 'sailed' out to Kerry & Hugh's. Kerry's cousin Mary and her husband Art were visiting from New Hampshire, so we spent the afternoon with them and Kerry's sister and dad. The weather was just beautiful so we drove out with the top down, and then all sat on their front porch talking, laughing, and eating. We had a lovely time, and I couldn't believe how quickly the day had passed.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Thursday, June 01, 2006
Employment Update
If you recall in my May 1 post I talked about Joe’s upcoming interview for the job with the state of DE. I purposely haven’t posted about it because things were still a bit uncertain for a while, but now its time to provide an update.
He felt his interview went very well. It was a typical panel interview, where the 3 panelists took turns asking questions while another of the panelist took notes. They were impressed with Joe’s qualifications and were a bit surprised that he would even be interested in the job. In fact, they asked him why he applied for a job where he’d manage 4 people when he’s previously held positions where he ran an entire department or site. He explained that it was our interest in relocating to DE that first caused him to look into the state jobs, and that it was his interest in this particular position that resulted in his application.
The man leading the interview brought up the salary issue, indicating that the position would not be able to match his last salary as the Director of a clinic. He responded that he understood, and was prepared for a lesser salary since he knew the cost of living was less expensive in DE. Joe also told him that he’d seen the mid-range salary on the job posting and was comfortable with that. The interview leader explained that most new employees start at the bottom of the salary range for the job grade rather than the mid-point range. Joe said that he felt his many years of experience in the field should be taken into consideration. All in all, Joe felt the interview went well.
About 2 weeks later Joe received a call from one of the other male interviewers (not the interview leader), indicating they had selected him as the candidate with which they wanted to move forward. Joe responded positively. Then the panelist brought up the salary question again, asking if Joe would be willing to take the position at the starting salary. Joe said no, but indicated he would be willing to take the position at the mid-range salary. The panelist explained that it wasn’t done often, and would require ‘more than just a phone call’. Apparently they would have to fill out some paperwork and write up a justification for starting a new employee at a rate higher than the entry salary. But the panelist said that he would be the supervisor for this position and he wanted Joe, so they would proceed with the necessary paperwork.
Joe told the panelist that he would like to visit the site where he’d be working and meet the team he’d be managing before making a final commitment. The panelist thought it was a great idea and agreed to set it up. So a few days later, Joe drove to the panelist’s office and they rode together to the site. Its located in an old, red brick fire station that’s been converted into office space. He met the team he’d be managing and asked them questions to get to know them, their work, and their strengths/weaknesses. He felt a good connection with them and they seemed to like him too. He found their collective ‘style’ to be similar to his own, which pleased him. So on the drive back to the panelist’s office Joe told him he was willing to commit to taking the position, pending the approval of the mid-range starting salary. He and the panelist were happy when they parted ways.
Up to this point, I had not yet discussed with my boss the possibility of us moving to DE and me establishing a home office. I was pretty sure my boss would be comfortable with this, since I know of others in the company and even within my job classification who have home offices, but I’d not broached the subject with my boss yet.
I asked my two colleagues if they thought I should tell my boss before I knew about Joe and his job possibility, or if they thought I should wait and tell my boss when I knew for sure that Joe had gotten the job. They agreed that I should wait until I knew for sure that Joe had the job so that I could tell our boss we were moving, and that I would like to take my job with me. They thought this would give me more leverage. I also began to think this was wise, just in case Joe didn’t get the job or didn’t want the job I wouldn’t have to go back to my boss and say ‘never mind’ about moving.
Just by coincidence, on the very day when Joe was having his site visit and meeting the team, my boss stopped in at my office on his way to a meeting in the area. He asked me how things were going, etc, and then asked how Joe’s private practice was going. I explained that it was increasing slowly, but that Joe was considering applying for a job he’d seen online in DE. I told my boss that he’d asked me how this might affect my job and I told him I was comfortable inquiring with my boss about the possibility of taking my job to DE and having a home office, since others in the company had done so. Before I could even finish the so-called conversation, my boss said, “Sure – I’d have no problem with that at all.”
All during this process I’ve been saying to Joe ‘Go ahead and apply for the job, but with no expectations. Let’s just put it out there and see how the Universe responds’. I truly was prepared for whatever feeling or indication we might receive. If Joe didn’t get selected for an interview, or didn’t like the job or location, or if my boss was not open to the idea of me working from a home office – any of these things likely would have been received by us as the Universe telling us to stay put. But to the contrary, everything seemed to be indicating the opposite.
Gently, and little by little, we’ve been leaking a little of this information to our family and the friends we’ve seen recently. Neither of us really wants to come out and say “We’re moving!” because Joe hasn’t gotten his formal offer letter with the agreed upon salary yet, and because we don’t want to shock those who are close to us and who probably had no idea what we’ve been considering. First Joe told his sister, who was not very enthusiastic. She and Joe are very close and see each other frequently. Us living 120 miles away would reduce the frequency with which they’d be able to get together. She likely also feels as Joe’s mother feels: After a few months we won’t come back to visit very much. We have dinner with Joe’s mother every Thursday, so that would not be possible after we move. I also told my aunt Mary, who initially had a similar reaction. She believes us when we say we’ll come back often to visit, but is afraid that after awhile we’ll get tired of all that travel and will not come back as often. Fortunately the few friends we’ve told have been more supportive.
There are many details to be discussed and figured out as this begins to change from a possibility to a reality, but I’ll report on those in later posts. For now, I’m just smiling about the idea of living near the beach.
He felt his interview went very well. It was a typical panel interview, where the 3 panelists took turns asking questions while another of the panelist took notes. They were impressed with Joe’s qualifications and were a bit surprised that he would even be interested in the job. In fact, they asked him why he applied for a job where he’d manage 4 people when he’s previously held positions where he ran an entire department or site. He explained that it was our interest in relocating to DE that first caused him to look into the state jobs, and that it was his interest in this particular position that resulted in his application.
The man leading the interview brought up the salary issue, indicating that the position would not be able to match his last salary as the Director of a clinic. He responded that he understood, and was prepared for a lesser salary since he knew the cost of living was less expensive in DE. Joe also told him that he’d seen the mid-range salary on the job posting and was comfortable with that. The interview leader explained that most new employees start at the bottom of the salary range for the job grade rather than the mid-point range. Joe said that he felt his many years of experience in the field should be taken into consideration. All in all, Joe felt the interview went well.
About 2 weeks later Joe received a call from one of the other male interviewers (not the interview leader), indicating they had selected him as the candidate with which they wanted to move forward. Joe responded positively. Then the panelist brought up the salary question again, asking if Joe would be willing to take the position at the starting salary. Joe said no, but indicated he would be willing to take the position at the mid-range salary. The panelist explained that it wasn’t done often, and would require ‘more than just a phone call’. Apparently they would have to fill out some paperwork and write up a justification for starting a new employee at a rate higher than the entry salary. But the panelist said that he would be the supervisor for this position and he wanted Joe, so they would proceed with the necessary paperwork.
Joe told the panelist that he would like to visit the site where he’d be working and meet the team he’d be managing before making a final commitment. The panelist thought it was a great idea and agreed to set it up. So a few days later, Joe drove to the panelist’s office and they rode together to the site. Its located in an old, red brick fire station that’s been converted into office space. He met the team he’d be managing and asked them questions to get to know them, their work, and their strengths/weaknesses. He felt a good connection with them and they seemed to like him too. He found their collective ‘style’ to be similar to his own, which pleased him. So on the drive back to the panelist’s office Joe told him he was willing to commit to taking the position, pending the approval of the mid-range starting salary. He and the panelist were happy when they parted ways.
Up to this point, I had not yet discussed with my boss the possibility of us moving to DE and me establishing a home office. I was pretty sure my boss would be comfortable with this, since I know of others in the company and even within my job classification who have home offices, but I’d not broached the subject with my boss yet.
I asked my two colleagues if they thought I should tell my boss before I knew about Joe and his job possibility, or if they thought I should wait and tell my boss when I knew for sure that Joe had gotten the job. They agreed that I should wait until I knew for sure that Joe had the job so that I could tell our boss we were moving, and that I would like to take my job with me. They thought this would give me more leverage. I also began to think this was wise, just in case Joe didn’t get the job or didn’t want the job I wouldn’t have to go back to my boss and say ‘never mind’ about moving.
Just by coincidence, on the very day when Joe was having his site visit and meeting the team, my boss stopped in at my office on his way to a meeting in the area. He asked me how things were going, etc, and then asked how Joe’s private practice was going. I explained that it was increasing slowly, but that Joe was considering applying for a job he’d seen online in DE. I told my boss that he’d asked me how this might affect my job and I told him I was comfortable inquiring with my boss about the possibility of taking my job to DE and having a home office, since others in the company had done so. Before I could even finish the so-called conversation, my boss said, “Sure – I’d have no problem with that at all.”
All during this process I’ve been saying to Joe ‘Go ahead and apply for the job, but with no expectations. Let’s just put it out there and see how the Universe responds’. I truly was prepared for whatever feeling or indication we might receive. If Joe didn’t get selected for an interview, or didn’t like the job or location, or if my boss was not open to the idea of me working from a home office – any of these things likely would have been received by us as the Universe telling us to stay put. But to the contrary, everything seemed to be indicating the opposite.
Gently, and little by little, we’ve been leaking a little of this information to our family and the friends we’ve seen recently. Neither of us really wants to come out and say “We’re moving!” because Joe hasn’t gotten his formal offer letter with the agreed upon salary yet, and because we don’t want to shock those who are close to us and who probably had no idea what we’ve been considering. First Joe told his sister, who was not very enthusiastic. She and Joe are very close and see each other frequently. Us living 120 miles away would reduce the frequency with which they’d be able to get together. She likely also feels as Joe’s mother feels: After a few months we won’t come back to visit very much. We have dinner with Joe’s mother every Thursday, so that would not be possible after we move. I also told my aunt Mary, who initially had a similar reaction. She believes us when we say we’ll come back often to visit, but is afraid that after awhile we’ll get tired of all that travel and will not come back as often. Fortunately the few friends we’ve told have been more supportive.
There are many details to be discussed and figured out as this begins to change from a possibility to a reality, but I’ll report on those in later posts. For now, I’m just smiling about the idea of living near the beach.
Memorable Memorial Day weekend
Michael & Jamie (aka: the Newlyweds) went to the beach with us for the 3-day Memorial Day weekend. After dinner on Fri, we 4 humans and our 2 dogs set out for the beach at 9pm. The traffic was beautiful and we sailed into Lewes in our usual 2 ½ hours, just like clockwork.
Sat we lingered over breakfast (Joe made pancakes, sausage, fruit, juice and coffee) until after 11, and then decided to go for an exploratory ride to Milford. After admiring the architecture of the beautiful turn-of-the-century homes we stopped in the large Salvation Army store and then had lunch at a Mexican restaurant. We walked along the river walk and saw a group of young people playing basketball. It was a beautiful day. We returned to let the dogs out and change our clothes, and then went to the beach. It was quite breezy but very warm and sunny. We all went for a walk, and sat and enjoyed the sites.
I fired up the little charcoal grill and while we waited for the coals to get hot, we had cocktails. Then we had hamburgers and bratwursts, baked beans, and potato salad for dinner! It was delicious, and just what I’d been hoping for. Then we watched a DVD we’d rented: “The Family Stone”. It was okay, but we were all a bit thrown by it. I remember it seemed like a comedy when I’d seen the commercials for it last fall. But all 3 of the funny scenes must have been in that commercial because the rest of the movie was much more sober. Its about a family getting together for Christmas, finding out that the mother has terminal cancer, and realizing it will be the last Christmas they all spend together. Sarah Jessica Parker (of ‘Sex and the City’ fame) plays an uptight NYC business woman who is about to become engaged to one of the sons, although none of the others in the family seem to like her.
While watching the DVD we suddenly heard the sound of water dripping onto the kitchen floor. It was coming from the a/c vent in the ceiling. Not a good sign. We quickly deduced that the a/c unit’s condensation drain must be clogged so we turned the unit off and opened the windows and doors. Fortunately it was cooler by then and a bit breezy so we weren’t uncomfortable. Sun morning I called an a/c repairmen listed in the local phone book as being available for emergencies, 24/7. I wondered if he could hear the amazement in my voice when he said he’d be there in 40 minutes – on a Sun morning! Sure enough, he arrived while we were eating breakfast (eggs with green chilies, bacon and banana nut muffins), quickly diagnosed and repaired the issue (our suggestion was correct) and he was out the door. It only cost $128. Now, in the Northern VA area, it would likely have cost at least $128. just for the guy to show up on a regular workday, with an advance appointment. So you can imagine how delighted we were that this guy who came so quickly on a Sun morning had not ripped us off.
Later we walked to the community pool to get our passes for the season. They were having the community pool party, with free food and drinks and door prizes. We got our passes and stayed for pretzel dogs (hot dogs wrapped in pretzel dough – a delicacy!), soda, chips, and TCBY sundaes. We didn’t win any of the door prizes, which was just fine. Then we drove into Rehoboth and went for a nice walk on the boardwalk. Again it was a lovely warm and sunny day. We got soft-serve ice cream cones from Kohrs Brothers and walked around downtown. For dinner we had the left-overs from the previous night’s cookout, then headed to the movie theater to see “X-Men III”. The 9pm show was sold out, so Jamie & Michael got tickets to the 9:40 show. I was right behind them in line but when I asked for 2 tickets to the same show, the woman replied that it was now sold out. Michael & Jamie had literally gotten the last 2 tickets. I explained that the 4 of us were together so the woman said she’d refund their tickets. We returned to the house and played Scrabble (I won), read, and watched TV.
Mon morning’s breakfast consisted of coffee, juice, and the left-over cake from the previous 2 nights. After lots and lots of interesting conversations we went to the miniature golf place with the most waterfalls and animals. We played a round (I won), and all remarked how much more fun it was than we thought it would be. I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I’d played miniature golf; at least 15 years. Joe, Jamie & Michael all wanted to take a nap that afternoon, so I went to the community pool. There was only 1 woman there, apparently asleep on a lounge chair. I positioned myself for maximum tanning potential and began reading the latest issue of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth”. After what seemed like 15-20 minutes, the woman got into the pool and I decided to get in too. I was pretty hot.
The woman introduced herself as Linda, and pointed out where in the community she lived. She asked where I lived, and I explained where our house was, but that it was a weekend and summer place for us. She told me about her son who just graduated from college on Sat, her other son who is a classical guitarist looking for a job, her job, her divorce, her gay friend the decorator, and her monthly cocktail parties. (She wasn’t nearly as scary as she sounds from this post.) I shared with her some info about me and Joe. Then an older woman entered the pool area and said hello to Linda. It was Linda’s next door neighbor, Sandy, who joined us in the water. Sandy used to teach school but now works in the public library. She’s lived in the area for 35 years, but just moved to this community 6 weeks ago. Then 2 more women entered the pool area with 2 boys. Sandy recognized the older woman as Maureen who frequently comes into the library. Maureen was there with her daughter, Christine and her 2 boys. Turns out, Christine lives 2 doors down from our place. We’d seen them move in, back in Nov but hadn’t seen Christine outside since then, although we often see her boys outside playing. It was odd, but I really felt like I’d made some new friends at the pool. I repeated their names at least 3 times to help me remember them. I think Linda could be a fun lady to occasionally hand out with since she has cocktail parties and her house was partially decorated by her gay male friend.
Sadly it was time for the long weekend to end, so we packed up our things and left the beach a little after 7pm. We ran into some traffic so it took us 3 hours to get home, but we didn’t mind. We just talked and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company in the truck, just as we had done all weekend long.
Sat we lingered over breakfast (Joe made pancakes, sausage, fruit, juice and coffee) until after 11, and then decided to go for an exploratory ride to Milford. After admiring the architecture of the beautiful turn-of-the-century homes we stopped in the large Salvation Army store and then had lunch at a Mexican restaurant. We walked along the river walk and saw a group of young people playing basketball. It was a beautiful day. We returned to let the dogs out and change our clothes, and then went to the beach. It was quite breezy but very warm and sunny. We all went for a walk, and sat and enjoyed the sites.
I fired up the little charcoal grill and while we waited for the coals to get hot, we had cocktails. Then we had hamburgers and bratwursts, baked beans, and potato salad for dinner! It was delicious, and just what I’d been hoping for. Then we watched a DVD we’d rented: “The Family Stone”. It was okay, but we were all a bit thrown by it. I remember it seemed like a comedy when I’d seen the commercials for it last fall. But all 3 of the funny scenes must have been in that commercial because the rest of the movie was much more sober. Its about a family getting together for Christmas, finding out that the mother has terminal cancer, and realizing it will be the last Christmas they all spend together. Sarah Jessica Parker (of ‘Sex and the City’ fame) plays an uptight NYC business woman who is about to become engaged to one of the sons, although none of the others in the family seem to like her.
While watching the DVD we suddenly heard the sound of water dripping onto the kitchen floor. It was coming from the a/c vent in the ceiling. Not a good sign. We quickly deduced that the a/c unit’s condensation drain must be clogged so we turned the unit off and opened the windows and doors. Fortunately it was cooler by then and a bit breezy so we weren’t uncomfortable. Sun morning I called an a/c repairmen listed in the local phone book as being available for emergencies, 24/7. I wondered if he could hear the amazement in my voice when he said he’d be there in 40 minutes – on a Sun morning! Sure enough, he arrived while we were eating breakfast (eggs with green chilies, bacon and banana nut muffins), quickly diagnosed and repaired the issue (our suggestion was correct) and he was out the door. It only cost $128. Now, in the Northern VA area, it would likely have cost at least $128. just for the guy to show up on a regular workday, with an advance appointment. So you can imagine how delighted we were that this guy who came so quickly on a Sun morning had not ripped us off.
Later we walked to the community pool to get our passes for the season. They were having the community pool party, with free food and drinks and door prizes. We got our passes and stayed for pretzel dogs (hot dogs wrapped in pretzel dough – a delicacy!), soda, chips, and TCBY sundaes. We didn’t win any of the door prizes, which was just fine. Then we drove into Rehoboth and went for a nice walk on the boardwalk. Again it was a lovely warm and sunny day. We got soft-serve ice cream cones from Kohrs Brothers and walked around downtown. For dinner we had the left-overs from the previous night’s cookout, then headed to the movie theater to see “X-Men III”. The 9pm show was sold out, so Jamie & Michael got tickets to the 9:40 show. I was right behind them in line but when I asked for 2 tickets to the same show, the woman replied that it was now sold out. Michael & Jamie had literally gotten the last 2 tickets. I explained that the 4 of us were together so the woman said she’d refund their tickets. We returned to the house and played Scrabble (I won), read, and watched TV.
Mon morning’s breakfast consisted of coffee, juice, and the left-over cake from the previous 2 nights. After lots and lots of interesting conversations we went to the miniature golf place with the most waterfalls and animals. We played a round (I won), and all remarked how much more fun it was than we thought it would be. I couldn’t remember how long it had been since I’d played miniature golf; at least 15 years. Joe, Jamie & Michael all wanted to take a nap that afternoon, so I went to the community pool. There was only 1 woman there, apparently asleep on a lounge chair. I positioned myself for maximum tanning potential and began reading the latest issue of “Letters from Camp Rehoboth”. After what seemed like 15-20 minutes, the woman got into the pool and I decided to get in too. I was pretty hot.
The woman introduced herself as Linda, and pointed out where in the community she lived. She asked where I lived, and I explained where our house was, but that it was a weekend and summer place for us. She told me about her son who just graduated from college on Sat, her other son who is a classical guitarist looking for a job, her job, her divorce, her gay friend the decorator, and her monthly cocktail parties. (She wasn’t nearly as scary as she sounds from this post.) I shared with her some info about me and Joe. Then an older woman entered the pool area and said hello to Linda. It was Linda’s next door neighbor, Sandy, who joined us in the water. Sandy used to teach school but now works in the public library. She’s lived in the area for 35 years, but just moved to this community 6 weeks ago. Then 2 more women entered the pool area with 2 boys. Sandy recognized the older woman as Maureen who frequently comes into the library. Maureen was there with her daughter, Christine and her 2 boys. Turns out, Christine lives 2 doors down from our place. We’d seen them move in, back in Nov but hadn’t seen Christine outside since then, although we often see her boys outside playing. It was odd, but I really felt like I’d made some new friends at the pool. I repeated their names at least 3 times to help me remember them. I think Linda could be a fun lady to occasionally hand out with since she has cocktail parties and her house was partially decorated by her gay male friend.
Sadly it was time for the long weekend to end, so we packed up our things and left the beach a little after 7pm. We ran into some traffic so it took us 3 hours to get home, but we didn’t mind. We just talked and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company in the truck, just as we had done all weekend long.
Friday fiasco
I left work at 3:00 on Fri (the company released us early for the holiday) and I came home to find the load of mulch I’d ordered weeks ago had been delivered on my driveway. I’d remembered it was coming – just in time for us to be away for the holiday weekend!
Knowing I had a few hours until we’d be meeting the Newlyweds for dinner, I decided to don my yard work clothes and get started. I borrowed my neighbor’s wheel barrel and got my shovel, thatch rake and gloves. (No splinters in these hands!) I laid out the newspapers (to deter weeds) and used the wheel barrel to move a load from the pile onto the newspapers, and then spread it with the thatch rake. It was working well.
Then I began to hear the rumbling of thunder. It had been overcast all day, so I really wasn’t expecting rain, but now it appeared we were in for a storm. Sure enough, just after carefully placing my next section of newspapers, a gust of wind blew them around as the rain began to fall. I stepped up onto the front porch, hoping this would be a quick shower, but soon the thunder, lightning, and torrential rain dispelled my optimism.
So I went inside, had a glass of water and went online to read some blogs. About 30 minutes later the storm ended, the sun shined brightly, the way it does after a freakish summer storm, and I headed back outside.
I repeated my process of laying the newspaper, filling the wheel barrel with mulch, dumping it on the papers, and spreading it with the thatch rake. After about 20 minutes of this my back was really feeling it. Since I don’t exercise regularly (read: at all) any kind of physical activity like this usually results in sore muscles for me, so I wasn’t surprised. I took a break for a few minutes, and then returned to the task at hand. After another 20 minutes or so, my back was really hurting and I started to feel light-headed. I decided I’d done enough, and went inside for a cool shower.
As I climbed the steps I felt so light-headed and nauseous I thought I might pass out or throw up. I told myself I’d just gotten overheated and that the cool shower would fix that. I stripped off my sweaty yard work clothes and stepped into the water. At this point I was so short of breathe I thought I was going to black out, and didn’t want to bash my head on the tub, so I lay down in the tub and let the cool water wash over me.
After a few minutes I didn’t feel hot or overheated anymore, but I still felt light-headed and nauseous. I got up to wash myself, but could barely rinse the soap off before needing to lie down in the tub again. After a few more minutes, I turned off the water and just lied in the tub for several more minutes.
Although in the next room packing, Joe was completely unaware of anything I was going through. I called out to him and asked for help getting out of the tub. He placed towels on the floor and I lied there for a few minutes, during which time he asked me a bunch of questions. We decided this was likely because I didn’t eat lunch (and I never eat breakfast) so my blood sugar level must have plummeted as a result of the unusual physical exertion combined with the lack of nutrition. Not very smart of me. I’ll remember this. Joe brought me a ‘power bar’ to eat, and then I moved myself from the bathroom floor to the bedroom.
After lying on the bed for a few more minutes, I was able to get up and move around (slowly) without feeling like I was going to pass out or throw up. I had more water to drink, and then put some clothes in the suitcase and watched TV until the Newlyweds arrived. We went to dinner and I felt a lot better, then the four of us headed to the beach. I felt good enough to drive.
Knowing I had a few hours until we’d be meeting the Newlyweds for dinner, I decided to don my yard work clothes and get started. I borrowed my neighbor’s wheel barrel and got my shovel, thatch rake and gloves. (No splinters in these hands!) I laid out the newspapers (to deter weeds) and used the wheel barrel to move a load from the pile onto the newspapers, and then spread it with the thatch rake. It was working well.
Then I began to hear the rumbling of thunder. It had been overcast all day, so I really wasn’t expecting rain, but now it appeared we were in for a storm. Sure enough, just after carefully placing my next section of newspapers, a gust of wind blew them around as the rain began to fall. I stepped up onto the front porch, hoping this would be a quick shower, but soon the thunder, lightning, and torrential rain dispelled my optimism.
So I went inside, had a glass of water and went online to read some blogs. About 30 minutes later the storm ended, the sun shined brightly, the way it does after a freakish summer storm, and I headed back outside.
I repeated my process of laying the newspaper, filling the wheel barrel with mulch, dumping it on the papers, and spreading it with the thatch rake. After about 20 minutes of this my back was really feeling it. Since I don’t exercise regularly (read: at all) any kind of physical activity like this usually results in sore muscles for me, so I wasn’t surprised. I took a break for a few minutes, and then returned to the task at hand. After another 20 minutes or so, my back was really hurting and I started to feel light-headed. I decided I’d done enough, and went inside for a cool shower.
As I climbed the steps I felt so light-headed and nauseous I thought I might pass out or throw up. I told myself I’d just gotten overheated and that the cool shower would fix that. I stripped off my sweaty yard work clothes and stepped into the water. At this point I was so short of breathe I thought I was going to black out, and didn’t want to bash my head on the tub, so I lay down in the tub and let the cool water wash over me.
After a few minutes I didn’t feel hot or overheated anymore, but I still felt light-headed and nauseous. I got up to wash myself, but could barely rinse the soap off before needing to lie down in the tub again. After a few more minutes, I turned off the water and just lied in the tub for several more minutes.
Although in the next room packing, Joe was completely unaware of anything I was going through. I called out to him and asked for help getting out of the tub. He placed towels on the floor and I lied there for a few minutes, during which time he asked me a bunch of questions. We decided this was likely because I didn’t eat lunch (and I never eat breakfast) so my blood sugar level must have plummeted as a result of the unusual physical exertion combined with the lack of nutrition. Not very smart of me. I’ll remember this. Joe brought me a ‘power bar’ to eat, and then I moved myself from the bathroom floor to the bedroom.
After lying on the bed for a few more minutes, I was able to get up and move around (slowly) without feeling like I was going to pass out or throw up. I had more water to drink, and then put some clothes in the suitcase and watched TV until the Newlyweds arrived. We went to dinner and I felt a lot better, then the four of us headed to the beach. I felt good enough to drive.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The "big day" approaches
Friday, May 26 = the "big day".
May 26 is my favorite aunt's birthday. She'll be 62 this year, but she has a very 'young' personality.
May 26 is Joe's parents' wedding anniversary. If Joe's father were still alive, his parents would be married 54 years on Friday.
May 26 is mine and Joe's anniversary of when we met/started dating/living together. (We don't waste time.) This Friday it will be 10 years.
TEN YEARS! Ten years for a gay couple seems outstanding. Ten years for any couple is outstanding when you consider that 1/2 of all marriages in the US ends in divorce. My assumption has always been that since gays can not marry (at least in 50 of the 52 United States) many do not invest as much in a relationship that appears to be souring. For married folks, it takes a lot of work to end a relationship. It costs time and money to divorce. But gays can pack their Louis Vuitton luggage and walk out the door whenever they want. Now, I'm not trying to say that's what all or most gay couples do when the going gets tough. I'm simply saying that without the legal connections of marriage, gays seem to be able to 'move on' more easily, and do. That, of course, is just my opinion, based on no factual information what-so-ever. But I digress.
I'm quite proud that Joe & I have been together for 10 years. It was my desire to share this 'accomplishment' of sorts with our friends and family by having an anniversary party. But after several discussions with my other half (NOT my better half) we've decided not to have a party.
But on Friday evening we will do something just as wonderful and 'celebratory'. We're having dinner with Michael and Jamie (aka The Newlyweds, because they actually ARE married in the state of Massachusetts) and then the 4 of us are going to the beach for a 3-day Memorial Day weekend.
You can bet there'll be some celebrating going on!
May 26 is my favorite aunt's birthday. She'll be 62 this year, but she has a very 'young' personality.
May 26 is Joe's parents' wedding anniversary. If Joe's father were still alive, his parents would be married 54 years on Friday.
May 26 is mine and Joe's anniversary of when we met/started dating/living together. (We don't waste time.) This Friday it will be 10 years.
TEN YEARS! Ten years for a gay couple seems outstanding. Ten years for any couple is outstanding when you consider that 1/2 of all marriages in the US ends in divorce. My assumption has always been that since gays can not marry (at least in 50 of the 52 United States) many do not invest as much in a relationship that appears to be souring. For married folks, it takes a lot of work to end a relationship. It costs time and money to divorce. But gays can pack their Louis Vuitton luggage and walk out the door whenever they want. Now, I'm not trying to say that's what all or most gay couples do when the going gets tough. I'm simply saying that without the legal connections of marriage, gays seem to be able to 'move on' more easily, and do. That, of course, is just my opinion, based on no factual information what-so-ever. But I digress.
I'm quite proud that Joe & I have been together for 10 years. It was my desire to share this 'accomplishment' of sorts with our friends and family by having an anniversary party. But after several discussions with my other half (NOT my better half) we've decided not to have a party.
But on Friday evening we will do something just as wonderful and 'celebratory'. We're having dinner with Michael and Jamie (aka The Newlyweds, because they actually ARE married in the state of Massachusetts) and then the 4 of us are going to the beach for a 3-day Memorial Day weekend.
You can bet there'll be some celebrating going on!
Monday, May 22, 2006
Wonderful weather weekend
The weather this past weekend was wonderful! Joe & I were at the beach and drove around the entire weekend with the top down. Sat it was mostly sunny with a few periods of clouds. It was warm and wonderful. Sun it was sunny all day, and warm again. It was truly beautiful.
Our friends Doug & Jim bought a mobile home at the beach on Fri, so we met up with them Fri evening to see their new place, and to go to dinner. We ate at Fish On and had a great time. The food was great, as it always is, and we also enjoyed a few celebratory cocktails to commemorate their new beach retreat. We got there at 8:30 and didn't leave until 11:15.
I've been wondering why no one comments on my blog anymore. It used to be I'd get a comment or two from friends and the occasional stranger who'd happen upon my blog, either because I was linked on someone else's blog, or because of something in my blogger profile. But I haven't had any comments in a few weeks, which makes me wonder it:
Our friends Doug & Jim bought a mobile home at the beach on Fri, so we met up with them Fri evening to see their new place, and to go to dinner. We ate at Fish On and had a great time. The food was great, as it always is, and we also enjoyed a few celebratory cocktails to commemorate their new beach retreat. We got there at 8:30 and didn't leave until 11:15.
I've been wondering why no one comments on my blog anymore. It used to be I'd get a comment or two from friends and the occasional stranger who'd happen upon my blog, either because I was linked on someone else's blog, or because of something in my blogger profile. But I haven't had any comments in a few weeks, which makes me wonder it:
- No one is reading my blog anymore
- No one finds it interesting enough to leave a comment
- No one wants me to know they're reading
- No one wants anyone else to know they're reading
- No one can figure out how to comment
Just in case #5 is the case, let me tell you that you don't have to be a blogger to leave a comment. You can simply click on 'anonymous' and then after typing your comment, just type in your name. But if the real reason for no comments is #1-4, I'd better come up with some more juicy content! And speaking of linked blogs, I finally figured out (sorta) how to add a blogroll to my blog so you can see the blogs I read. Check 'em out!
Actually, I've got something significant to blog about, something that's been on my mind a lot, but I am not yet at liberty to make it public, so it will have to wait.
This coming weekend is Memorial Day weekend, and we are going to the beach for the 3 days with our friends Michael & Jamie (aka: The Newlyweds). I'm really looking forward to it. Michael & Jamie are the kind of guys that will really dig an old fashioned Memorial Day cookout, with grilled burgers, hot dogs, baked beans, potato salad, chips and soda! In fact, two summers ago we had just such a cookout on 4th of July, when we still had our vintage trailer. It was super-fun! I am looking forward to just such a cookout again with them. I'm really hoping for excellent weather this coming weekend, like we had last weekend.
Monday, May 15, 2006
The Party
A few weeks ago we received an invitation to a party at David & Jeff's. I made a mental note of it and left the invitation out so Joe would see it. When he did I told him I really thought we should go.
We met David a few years ago at church. He is friends with several of our friends who also go to that church, and that is how we first got to know him. Later we saw him at a holiday party and a birthday party hosted by those same friends we have in common.
Then we ran into David in the Las Vegas airport. Turns out we were all scheduled on the same flight back to BWI, and had arrived at the airport early, so we sat and talked a bit. Our plane was due into BWI just before midnight, and when we found that David would have to take a cab or call his new boyfriend to come and pick him up, we offered him a lift home. He only lives a few miles from us so it was absolutely no trouble at all. This gave us more opportunity to talk.
We learned that he and Jeff had been seeing each other for several months, and that Jeff had just recently moved from Seattle to the DC area to be with David. Remembering that we were having our holiday party in about 3 weeks, I verbally invited David and Jeff, then sent them an invitation a few days later. They came to our holiday open house and we met Jeff for the first time.
A few months later, in the Spring, we got an invitation to David & Jeff's for a "last party before the house gets torn apart" party. They were about to add a large addition to their house and wanted to have a party before the place was in shambles. For some reason (I'm not exactly sure what) we weren't able to make it. I think we already had plans.
Then around the holidays we received another invitation from them, inviting us to a holiday cocktail party. We planned to go, so I RSVP'd 'Yes', but with everything so hectic at the holidays, we just plain forgot. There was no calendar conflict or anything; we just forgot to go, and I felt badly.
So, when we got the invitation a few weeks ago, I told Joe that we needed to go to David & Jeff's party. Of course I wanted to go anyway, but I told him we really should go, since we'd been invited before and hadn't gone. It was the same weekend as Mother's Day, so I knew we would be in town and not at the beach.
Sat morning we had a little breakfast and then got started with our painting. We painted the foyer, hallway and vestibule area that leads to the TV room, guest bedroom and bathroom. We decided on a gorgeous, rich shade called Baked Clay. (Most people would call it Terra Cotta.) We painted until 1:30, washed up, had a light lunch (since we're dieting) and then took a ride over to Lowes. Joe wanted some of those fast-growing, cascading petunias called Wave Petunias. We brought them home and planted them in some pots we already had, left over from some fall mums we had a few years ago. Our neighbor Suzanne came over and we talked about the neighborhood, real estate values, the illegal immigration issue, and various other topics until shortly after 5:00. Finally we went inside to get showered and ready for the party.
On the way, we stopped and picked up some cut flowers for our hosts; beautiful, magenta colored Asiatic lilies; they'd make a lovely impression, then drove to David & Jeff's house. I'd forgotten to bring the invitation with me, so I was trying to remember the house number. We'd only been to the house once before, when we dropped David off from the airport, in the dark, two years ago. We parked in front of the house we thought was theirs and carried the lilies as far as the driveway. Something didn't seem right. I was not at all convinced this was the right house. Where were all the other party-goer's cars? Why were all the blinds closed at this house? I told Joe that I didn't think this was the right house, and suggested we quickly get back into the car. He noticed that the house we almost went to didn't have an addition on it, so we were then sure it wasn't the right house.
Fortunately the street was not long, so we turned around and looked carefully as we made a second pass. Then I saw the correct house. I recognized the same car in the driveway I'd noticed the night we'd dropped David off, and this house had an enormous addition on both the back and the side of the house. We parked and once again carried the lilies to the driveway. Once again we noticed there didn't seem to be any vehicles belonging to other party-goers cluttering the street. We rang the doorbell and waited. No one answered. We stood there a few more seconds, then walked back to the car.
"Are you sure the party was this weekend and not next?" Joe asked. "Yes, I'm positive. I remember thinking to myself that the party was Sat and Mother's Day was Sun: a full weekend." We decided to go home and look at the invitation again. The date read 5/12/06. I said out loud "See? Its this weekend, not next weekend. May 12th. Today is May 12th, isn't it?" As I heard myself asking the question, I began to feel a slight sting of guilt. I walked over to the calendar on the fridge and then said out loud "No, today is May 13th. The party was last night."
Thank god no one answered the door at David & Jeff's house (THAT would have been embarrassing), and no wonder there were no other cars in front. They'd all been there the night before. My mood suddenly plummeted. I couldn't believe we'd missed another party at David & Jeff's. Somehow I'd gotten it in my head that the party was on Sat night so I didn't pay attention to the actual date on the invitation. I just knew it was Sat night at 7:00. I felt so badly I didn't know what to do. It took poor Joe a few minutes to understand why I was so disappointed and upset with myself. THREE parties in a row we missed at David & Jeff's.
In a vain attempt to lessen my disappointment we went out to dinner. On the way back home Joe suggested that the night wouldn't be a total loss since I'd now be home to watch one of my favorite shows: Trading Spaces. Trading Spaces always comes on Sat night, sometimes twice in the same night. But, adding insult to my injury, that night was the first Sat night in I don't know how long that Trading Spaces was not on. I couldn't believe it.
Today I sent David & Jeff an email, explaining why we'd RSVP'd 'Yes' and then not shown up. "Actually we DID show up - only it was the wrong night" I joked. I hope they don't think we're crazy guys who get some weird kick out of saying we'll come and then not show up. Maybe we should simply invite them over or out to dinner to prove we want to be friends!
We met David a few years ago at church. He is friends with several of our friends who also go to that church, and that is how we first got to know him. Later we saw him at a holiday party and a birthday party hosted by those same friends we have in common.
Then we ran into David in the Las Vegas airport. Turns out we were all scheduled on the same flight back to BWI, and had arrived at the airport early, so we sat and talked a bit. Our plane was due into BWI just before midnight, and when we found that David would have to take a cab or call his new boyfriend to come and pick him up, we offered him a lift home. He only lives a few miles from us so it was absolutely no trouble at all. This gave us more opportunity to talk.
We learned that he and Jeff had been seeing each other for several months, and that Jeff had just recently moved from Seattle to the DC area to be with David. Remembering that we were having our holiday party in about 3 weeks, I verbally invited David and Jeff, then sent them an invitation a few days later. They came to our holiday open house and we met Jeff for the first time.
A few months later, in the Spring, we got an invitation to David & Jeff's for a "last party before the house gets torn apart" party. They were about to add a large addition to their house and wanted to have a party before the place was in shambles. For some reason (I'm not exactly sure what) we weren't able to make it. I think we already had plans.
Then around the holidays we received another invitation from them, inviting us to a holiday cocktail party. We planned to go, so I RSVP'd 'Yes', but with everything so hectic at the holidays, we just plain forgot. There was no calendar conflict or anything; we just forgot to go, and I felt badly.
So, when we got the invitation a few weeks ago, I told Joe that we needed to go to David & Jeff's party. Of course I wanted to go anyway, but I told him we really should go, since we'd been invited before and hadn't gone. It was the same weekend as Mother's Day, so I knew we would be in town and not at the beach.
Sat morning we had a little breakfast and then got started with our painting. We painted the foyer, hallway and vestibule area that leads to the TV room, guest bedroom and bathroom. We decided on a gorgeous, rich shade called Baked Clay. (Most people would call it Terra Cotta.) We painted until 1:30, washed up, had a light lunch (since we're dieting) and then took a ride over to Lowes. Joe wanted some of those fast-growing, cascading petunias called Wave Petunias. We brought them home and planted them in some pots we already had, left over from some fall mums we had a few years ago. Our neighbor Suzanne came over and we talked about the neighborhood, real estate values, the illegal immigration issue, and various other topics until shortly after 5:00. Finally we went inside to get showered and ready for the party.
On the way, we stopped and picked up some cut flowers for our hosts; beautiful, magenta colored Asiatic lilies; they'd make a lovely impression, then drove to David & Jeff's house. I'd forgotten to bring the invitation with me, so I was trying to remember the house number. We'd only been to the house once before, when we dropped David off from the airport, in the dark, two years ago. We parked in front of the house we thought was theirs and carried the lilies as far as the driveway. Something didn't seem right. I was not at all convinced this was the right house. Where were all the other party-goer's cars? Why were all the blinds closed at this house? I told Joe that I didn't think this was the right house, and suggested we quickly get back into the car. He noticed that the house we almost went to didn't have an addition on it, so we were then sure it wasn't the right house.
Fortunately the street was not long, so we turned around and looked carefully as we made a second pass. Then I saw the correct house. I recognized the same car in the driveway I'd noticed the night we'd dropped David off, and this house had an enormous addition on both the back and the side of the house. We parked and once again carried the lilies to the driveway. Once again we noticed there didn't seem to be any vehicles belonging to other party-goers cluttering the street. We rang the doorbell and waited. No one answered. We stood there a few more seconds, then walked back to the car.
"Are you sure the party was this weekend and not next?" Joe asked. "Yes, I'm positive. I remember thinking to myself that the party was Sat and Mother's Day was Sun: a full weekend." We decided to go home and look at the invitation again. The date read 5/12/06. I said out loud "See? Its this weekend, not next weekend. May 12th. Today is May 12th, isn't it?" As I heard myself asking the question, I began to feel a slight sting of guilt. I walked over to the calendar on the fridge and then said out loud "No, today is May 13th. The party was last night."
Thank god no one answered the door at David & Jeff's house (THAT would have been embarrassing), and no wonder there were no other cars in front. They'd all been there the night before. My mood suddenly plummeted. I couldn't believe we'd missed another party at David & Jeff's. Somehow I'd gotten it in my head that the party was on Sat night so I didn't pay attention to the actual date on the invitation. I just knew it was Sat night at 7:00. I felt so badly I didn't know what to do. It took poor Joe a few minutes to understand why I was so disappointed and upset with myself. THREE parties in a row we missed at David & Jeff's.
In a vain attempt to lessen my disappointment we went out to dinner. On the way back home Joe suggested that the night wouldn't be a total loss since I'd now be home to watch one of my favorite shows: Trading Spaces. Trading Spaces always comes on Sat night, sometimes twice in the same night. But, adding insult to my injury, that night was the first Sat night in I don't know how long that Trading Spaces was not on. I couldn't believe it.
Today I sent David & Jeff an email, explaining why we'd RSVP'd 'Yes' and then not shown up. "Actually we DID show up - only it was the wrong night" I joked. I hope they don't think we're crazy guys who get some weird kick out of saying we'll come and then not show up. Maybe we should simply invite them over or out to dinner to prove we want to be friends!
"Poseidon"
I've been looking forward to "Poseidon" ever since I heard they were making the movie. Based on the 1972 all-star cast hit "The Poseidon Adventure", this remake had me anxious to see if it could be as good as the original.
The original truly was chocked full of stars: Gene Hackman, Earnest Bordenign, Shelly Winters, Roddy McDowell, Pamela Sue Martin. Being one of several 'disaster movies' of its time, I believe it had the most celebrities. 'Towering Inferno' and 'Airport 77' only had a few celebrities in them.
I remember seeing "The Poseidon Adventure" as a kid. I was about 8 when it came out. Since it takes place on New Year's Eve, over the years TV stations have often shown it on New Year's Eve. Any and every time I discover its on TV, I always watch it. I don't know why, but I have a strange, 'cult-classic' attraction to this movie.
In case you've been living in a cultural vacuum and haven't seen the original ("The Poseidon Adventure"), a huge title wave strikes a cruise ship and it capsizes. A small group of people struggle to make their way to the highest point in the ship in order to survive. Eventually some of them make it to the ship's hull where rescuers cut a hole and get them out.
In the remake (simply called "Poseidon") the plot is basically the same, although many of the characters and details are different, including the ending. In the original, much more time is spent developing the characters. As they struggle to survive, we learn about their other, more emotional struggles. We find out their history, and we come to care about them. Although a nice feature in the original, I believe I prefer the 'less personal' and much more fast-paced style of the remake. There's more action and less personal history. I'm surprised to hear myself say this, but in this kind of movie, I really feel like the story is better served without all of the personal baggage. In the original it slows the movie down and gives you a chance to relax. In the remake, without these 'rest periods' we're kept on edge, with adrenaline flowing as fast as the ocean pouring into the upside down ship.
And the special affects! Oh... my... god... The capsizing of the ship and all the chaos and mayhem that go with it are absolutely brilliant! Don't be surprised to see this film nominated for awards for its special affects. I'm a person who does NOT like a lot of computer-generated stuff in my movies. This movie seems so believable that its difficult to perceive where computer-generation is used versus the use of models and distant cameras. I thought it was incredibly real-looking and well done.
I think "Poseidon" certainly did justice to its predecessor "The Poseidon Adventure". Although not a modern 'duplicate', it pays homage to the classic while making use of modern cinemagraphic techniques to produce a new, fresh version.
Don't wait for this to come to DVD - see this one on the BIG SCREEN!
The original truly was chocked full of stars: Gene Hackman, Earnest Bordenign, Shelly Winters, Roddy McDowell, Pamela Sue Martin. Being one of several 'disaster movies' of its time, I believe it had the most celebrities. 'Towering Inferno' and 'Airport 77' only had a few celebrities in them.
I remember seeing "The Poseidon Adventure" as a kid. I was about 8 when it came out. Since it takes place on New Year's Eve, over the years TV stations have often shown it on New Year's Eve. Any and every time I discover its on TV, I always watch it. I don't know why, but I have a strange, 'cult-classic' attraction to this movie.
In case you've been living in a cultural vacuum and haven't seen the original ("The Poseidon Adventure"), a huge title wave strikes a cruise ship and it capsizes. A small group of people struggle to make their way to the highest point in the ship in order to survive. Eventually some of them make it to the ship's hull where rescuers cut a hole and get them out.
In the remake (simply called "Poseidon") the plot is basically the same, although many of the characters and details are different, including the ending. In the original, much more time is spent developing the characters. As they struggle to survive, we learn about their other, more emotional struggles. We find out their history, and we come to care about them. Although a nice feature in the original, I believe I prefer the 'less personal' and much more fast-paced style of the remake. There's more action and less personal history. I'm surprised to hear myself say this, but in this kind of movie, I really feel like the story is better served without all of the personal baggage. In the original it slows the movie down and gives you a chance to relax. In the remake, without these 'rest periods' we're kept on edge, with adrenaline flowing as fast as the ocean pouring into the upside down ship.
And the special affects! Oh... my... god... The capsizing of the ship and all the chaos and mayhem that go with it are absolutely brilliant! Don't be surprised to see this film nominated for awards for its special affects. I'm a person who does NOT like a lot of computer-generated stuff in my movies. This movie seems so believable that its difficult to perceive where computer-generation is used versus the use of models and distant cameras. I thought it was incredibly real-looking and well done.
I think "Poseidon" certainly did justice to its predecessor "The Poseidon Adventure". Although not a modern 'duplicate', it pays homage to the classic while making use of modern cinemagraphic techniques to produce a new, fresh version.
Don't wait for this to come to DVD - see this one on the BIG SCREEN!
Wednesday's Wonderful Weather Walk
On Wed we had wonderful weather. It was warm, but not hot or humid. There was a light breeze, but it wasn't windy. It was absolutely gorgeous.
Usually Joe has client appointments on Wed nights, but last Wed he didn't, so after dinner we decided to go for a walk. We brought Jordan with us, although we knew she'd only be able to walk with us for a while. With her age and past disc problems, she's only able to go around the block once. But she adores going for a walk so we took her, brought her back home, then set off on another walk of our own.
Walking is so good for you. Unlike running or sports, walking won't damage your body. To the contrary, its excellent for your cardiovascular system, and helps you lose wait, want to eat less, and feel happier, due to the endorphines that are released.
We walked about a mile away from our house, then turned around and walked back home. It wasn't about where we were going; it was the journey.
I like walking too, because it gives us uninterrupted time to talk about things, discuss, plan, debate, organize, joke, and laugh. No TV or radio in the background, and no telephones; just the sounds of nature and suburban life around us.
I hope we'll do this more often.
Usually Joe has client appointments on Wed nights, but last Wed he didn't, so after dinner we decided to go for a walk. We brought Jordan with us, although we knew she'd only be able to walk with us for a while. With her age and past disc problems, she's only able to go around the block once. But she adores going for a walk so we took her, brought her back home, then set off on another walk of our own.
Walking is so good for you. Unlike running or sports, walking won't damage your body. To the contrary, its excellent for your cardiovascular system, and helps you lose wait, want to eat less, and feel happier, due to the endorphines that are released.
We walked about a mile away from our house, then turned around and walked back home. It wasn't about where we were going; it was the journey.
I like walking too, because it gives us uninterrupted time to talk about things, discuss, plan, debate, organize, joke, and laugh. No TV or radio in the background, and no telephones; just the sounds of nature and suburban life around us.
I hope we'll do this more often.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Cinco de Mayo
Last Fri was Cinco de Mayo. I invited a few local friends to meet us at the Taco House, an appropriate location for celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Apparently the rest of DC had the same idea. The place was packed, and there was a constantly changing line of people waiting to be seated!
We put our name on the list, but because we were expecting 7, it took a little while to get 4 tables for 2 in a row that could be pushed together. Fortunately this happened on the patio. Although not a sunny day, it was a warm one, so the patio was delightful.
Bugsy & Roger were the first to arrive, then Joe & I showed up with Ron, followed by the Newlyweds. All but Ron had marqueritas; Ron had sangria, an equally festive Cinco de Mayo choice. We talked and laughed until the Newlyweds had to leave - they were expected at a friend's place for dinner, but squeezed us in for margueritas. The rest of us ate until we were ready to burst (damn those delicious home made tostada chips!), then we bid each other goodnight. It was really fun.
We put our name on the list, but because we were expecting 7, it took a little while to get 4 tables for 2 in a row that could be pushed together. Fortunately this happened on the patio. Although not a sunny day, it was a warm one, so the patio was delightful.
Bugsy & Roger were the first to arrive, then Joe & I showed up with Ron, followed by the Newlyweds. All but Ron had marqueritas; Ron had sangria, an equally festive Cinco de Mayo choice. We talked and laughed until the Newlyweds had to leave - they were expected at a friend's place for dinner, but squeezed us in for margueritas. The rest of us ate until we were ready to burst (damn those delicious home made tostada chips!), then we bid each other goodnight. It was really fun.
This blog
I was looking over the last few months of this blog and realized that I seem to have gotten into this habit of making just one, mammoth entry each week. Truthfully, it can be a little intimidating to think about that one, big entry.
Then I started thinking the reason I've gotten into this habit is because I always think I have to have a pretty significant amount of time to write. I like to reread an entry before publishing it, to check for spelling and grammatical mistakes and to make sure its easy to read. Sometimes I'd spend an hour and a half on a single entry, because I hadn't posted anything in a week. Then the entry would cover half a dozen topics.
So now I'm going to try a different style. Instead of one weekly 'dump', I'm going to try to have multiple smaller entries - each with its own theme. So here goes...
Then I started thinking the reason I've gotten into this habit is because I always think I have to have a pretty significant amount of time to write. I like to reread an entry before publishing it, to check for spelling and grammatical mistakes and to make sure its easy to read. Sometimes I'd spend an hour and a half on a single entry, because I hadn't posted anything in a week. Then the entry would cover half a dozen topics.
So now I'm going to try a different style. Instead of one weekly 'dump', I'm going to try to have multiple smaller entries - each with its own theme. So here goes...
Monday, May 01, 2006
Excitement and uncertainty
For several years, Joe & I have kicked around the idea of living at the beach. Its kind of been a lifelong desire for both of us. We really love being near the beach, all year round. Occasionally we'd talk about how our lives would change if we moved away from the area where we both grew up, and if the changes would all be for the good.
If we moved to the beach we wouldn't be able to see our family as often. Joe couldn't slip down to Alexandria to meet his sister for lunch, and we wouldn't be able to continue our standing Thurs night dinners with Evelyn. We wouldn't be able to call up the Newlyweds with no notice and see if they wanted to go to dinner. We wouldn't be able to accept an unexpected invitation to join Kerry & Hugh for a movie and fried food at the movie cafe. Without a doubt, there would be some cons to moving to the beach, so mostly it has been a lot of talk, without much real thought about doing it.
But then about a year or so ago, I began giving more serious thought to it. Despite the cons, I could think of a whole bunch of pros. First of all, we'd be living at the beach! There is no sales tax or personal property tax in DE, and the real estate taxes are slight. (Over $500. a month of our current mortgage goes to pay the real estate taxes on our house. In DE the real estate taxes for a house of the same value would be about $100. a month. It would be like getting a $400. a month raise!) Also, VA currently has an initiative on the Nov ballot that would render same-sex couples powerless to will their assets to their partner when they die. (There's already a law prohibiting same-sex marriage in VA.) The cost of housing is cheaper in DE, and although the incomes are also less, a job working for the state or another large employer would provide a good salary and benefit/leave package. Not working in Herndon anymore would mean I'd save about $40. a month on tolls. And if I took my job with me and worked from an office in my home, I'd save about 75 minutes a day and $160. a month from not commuting. The pace of life in Sussex county DE is just a little bit slower. When you call Reed's plumbing, the likelihood is that Mr Reed will be the one to fix your faucet. There's not the same 'hurry up and get out of my way' attitude up there, and there is only 1 Starbucks in Dewey, Rehoboth, Lewes, Milton, Georgetown, Ellendale, and Milford - combined. And as often as we go out to the beach for the weekend, we could just as easily go back to DC for the weekend if we lived at the beach. We'd still have lots of opportunities to see our family and friends, but it would need to be planned. All in all, I think we could have a nice life there.
For the last 4-5 months, I've been checking the DE state jobs website. (Since the state is so small, instead of there being County jobs as there are here, there are state jobs.) In early April I found a job for Joe. He liked the sound of it, the pay scale was good, and he was qualified for it, so he put in an application. About 2 weeks later he got a letter in the mail indicating his qualifications had been reviewed and that he met the requirements for the position. Then last Fri he received a call requesting an interview. It will be this coming Thurs. My job is rather portable, so I'm pretty sure my boss will allow me to take my job with me. We started getting excited about the possibilities!
By coincidence we'd planned to go to the beach Fri night. So, with the potential that he might like the job and be selected for it, we ended up driving around Rehoboth and Lewes looking at the different neighborhoods, picking up real estate fliers/info sheets, getting ideas of prices, and starting to figure out what/where we liked. On Sat we went into an open house (they do them on Sat instead of Sun up there) and had an informative conversation with a realtor. He directed us to some neighborhoods we didn't know existed and we got to go into 3 more open houses. But mostly it was fun to see the wide variation in home sizes, prices, neighborhoods, construction types, and locations. I couldn't believe how quickly the day passed by. We went back out on Sun for more of the same, and by the time we went back to pack up, we'd driven 125 miles! From Fri night when we filled up the Civic's tank until we got home on Sun, we'd driven 390 miles, and the tank was empty again. (You'd never guess by all that driving that gas is $3. a gallon.)
On Sat evening we met up with some new friends in Lewes, Robert & John. We'd never met them before, but we were given their names and number by Kerry, from her friend Maura. We met Maura at Kerry's house quite a while back, and after talking about going to Lewes so frequently, Maura suggested we meet her friends Robert & John who live there. Later she gave their info to Kerry who gave it to me, but we didn't try to contact them for quite a while. Lots of times when we come up there during the season we have friends with us. When we go off-season its to relax, so Joe never wants to feel like he has to get dressed and go meet someone new. His shyness makes that idea unappealing even if he's already dressed and ready to walk out the door! But with the potential of moving to the area, Joe finally agreed to meet them. They were nice, and a great resource for information about the area. They moved to Lewes 6 years ago, but never really seemed to establish a close network of friends, so they say. (Not exactly encouraging, but I think that had more to do with their personalities and less to do with the area.) They return to DC and also travel to NY to be with friends and get a dose of city life when they want it.
After returning home yesterday evening, we looked on realtor.com at all of the inventory in Lewes and Rehoboth. There's a ton of homes for sale, both new and previously owned. Then we went to the Taco House for dinner. It was a little chilly so I was surprised Joe wanted to eat on the patio, but we did and it was great. Then we came home and watched the Sopranos and Big Love. Joe went to bed and I returned to realtor.com. There's so much to look at; it can get addictive.
This evening while Joe was at his 6 & 7 pm appointments, I was looking at realtor.com, comparing features, looking at the additional photos and the virtual tours. I made fish and pasta for dinner. Tomorrow Joe has just one appointment, and then on Wed he has 3 back-to-back appointments. (Finally...) Thurs he'll drive to Dover for his interview, then back home. Fri is Cinco de Mayo so I'm thinking of inviting friends to join us at the Taco House. We'll see...
If we moved to the beach we wouldn't be able to see our family as often. Joe couldn't slip down to Alexandria to meet his sister for lunch, and we wouldn't be able to continue our standing Thurs night dinners with Evelyn. We wouldn't be able to call up the Newlyweds with no notice and see if they wanted to go to dinner. We wouldn't be able to accept an unexpected invitation to join Kerry & Hugh for a movie and fried food at the movie cafe. Without a doubt, there would be some cons to moving to the beach, so mostly it has been a lot of talk, without much real thought about doing it.
But then about a year or so ago, I began giving more serious thought to it. Despite the cons, I could think of a whole bunch of pros. First of all, we'd be living at the beach! There is no sales tax or personal property tax in DE, and the real estate taxes are slight. (Over $500. a month of our current mortgage goes to pay the real estate taxes on our house. In DE the real estate taxes for a house of the same value would be about $100. a month. It would be like getting a $400. a month raise!) Also, VA currently has an initiative on the Nov ballot that would render same-sex couples powerless to will their assets to their partner when they die. (There's already a law prohibiting same-sex marriage in VA.) The cost of housing is cheaper in DE, and although the incomes are also less, a job working for the state or another large employer would provide a good salary and benefit/leave package. Not working in Herndon anymore would mean I'd save about $40. a month on tolls. And if I took my job with me and worked from an office in my home, I'd save about 75 minutes a day and $160. a month from not commuting. The pace of life in Sussex county DE is just a little bit slower. When you call Reed's plumbing, the likelihood is that Mr Reed will be the one to fix your faucet. There's not the same 'hurry up and get out of my way' attitude up there, and there is only 1 Starbucks in Dewey, Rehoboth, Lewes, Milton, Georgetown, Ellendale, and Milford - combined. And as often as we go out to the beach for the weekend, we could just as easily go back to DC for the weekend if we lived at the beach. We'd still have lots of opportunities to see our family and friends, but it would need to be planned. All in all, I think we could have a nice life there.
For the last 4-5 months, I've been checking the DE state jobs website. (Since the state is so small, instead of there being County jobs as there are here, there are state jobs.) In early April I found a job for Joe. He liked the sound of it, the pay scale was good, and he was qualified for it, so he put in an application. About 2 weeks later he got a letter in the mail indicating his qualifications had been reviewed and that he met the requirements for the position. Then last Fri he received a call requesting an interview. It will be this coming Thurs. My job is rather portable, so I'm pretty sure my boss will allow me to take my job with me. We started getting excited about the possibilities!
By coincidence we'd planned to go to the beach Fri night. So, with the potential that he might like the job and be selected for it, we ended up driving around Rehoboth and Lewes looking at the different neighborhoods, picking up real estate fliers/info sheets, getting ideas of prices, and starting to figure out what/where we liked. On Sat we went into an open house (they do them on Sat instead of Sun up there) and had an informative conversation with a realtor. He directed us to some neighborhoods we didn't know existed and we got to go into 3 more open houses. But mostly it was fun to see the wide variation in home sizes, prices, neighborhoods, construction types, and locations. I couldn't believe how quickly the day passed by. We went back out on Sun for more of the same, and by the time we went back to pack up, we'd driven 125 miles! From Fri night when we filled up the Civic's tank until we got home on Sun, we'd driven 390 miles, and the tank was empty again. (You'd never guess by all that driving that gas is $3. a gallon.)
On Sat evening we met up with some new friends in Lewes, Robert & John. We'd never met them before, but we were given their names and number by Kerry, from her friend Maura. We met Maura at Kerry's house quite a while back, and after talking about going to Lewes so frequently, Maura suggested we meet her friends Robert & John who live there. Later she gave their info to Kerry who gave it to me, but we didn't try to contact them for quite a while. Lots of times when we come up there during the season we have friends with us. When we go off-season its to relax, so Joe never wants to feel like he has to get dressed and go meet someone new. His shyness makes that idea unappealing even if he's already dressed and ready to walk out the door! But with the potential of moving to the area, Joe finally agreed to meet them. They were nice, and a great resource for information about the area. They moved to Lewes 6 years ago, but never really seemed to establish a close network of friends, so they say. (Not exactly encouraging, but I think that had more to do with their personalities and less to do with the area.) They return to DC and also travel to NY to be with friends and get a dose of city life when they want it.
After returning home yesterday evening, we looked on realtor.com at all of the inventory in Lewes and Rehoboth. There's a ton of homes for sale, both new and previously owned. Then we went to the Taco House for dinner. It was a little chilly so I was surprised Joe wanted to eat on the patio, but we did and it was great. Then we came home and watched the Sopranos and Big Love. Joe went to bed and I returned to realtor.com. There's so much to look at; it can get addictive.
This evening while Joe was at his 6 & 7 pm appointments, I was looking at realtor.com, comparing features, looking at the additional photos and the virtual tours. I made fish and pasta for dinner. Tomorrow Joe has just one appointment, and then on Wed he has 3 back-to-back appointments. (Finally...) Thurs he'll drive to Dover for his interview, then back home. Fri is Cinco de Mayo so I'm thinking of inviting friends to join us at the Taco House. We'll see...
Monday, April 24, 2006
Not quite a wash-out
Fri Kerry & Hugh invited us to join them at the movie cafe to see "Benchwarmers". I'd seen a quick preview and thought this appeared to be one of those mind-numbing films that I'd wished I'd only paid $3.79 to rent, rather than $18.-19. for me and Joe to see. Fortunately, I was wrong. One of the lead roles was played by John Heder of 'Napoleon Dynamite' fame, playing and equally geeky teenager role. He doesn't play Napoleon, but dorky and awkward teen who is bullied.
The movie cafe is like a conference room with a movie screen in it. Instead of typical rows of stationary seats, it has tables and office chairs. A waiter takes your order and then brings you food once the movie starts.
At Kerry & Hughs' recommendation, Joe & I got the "I Can't Make Up My Mind" combo, which consisted of a bucket of popcorn, a pitcher of soda, a personal-size pizza, an order of nachos, and a basket of french fries, 2 chicken fingers, 2 mozzarella sticks, and 2 jalapeno poppers. Perfect!
The movie was much funnier than I expected, causing eruptions of laughter from everyone, and the food was tasty and exactly what I was expecting it to be. Probably not so great for dieters or people with cholesterol problems, but great for the occasional splurge. We had a great time.
Afterward we went back to Kerry & Hugh's house to visit, see their photos and DVD, and hear their stories of their recent visit to the Gulf Coast. They spent a week helping in the rebuilding effort after hurricane Katrina.
Then Sat we picked up Joe's mom and my aunt Mary and drove out to Browntown for the Redbud Festival. Browntown is a tiny little itty bitty hamlet about 9 miles outside of Front Royal. The narrow and winding road leading from Front Royal to Browntown has lots and lots of redbud trees, which were doing their best to show off their exquisite beauty despite the intermittent rain and gloomy skies. The "redbud festival" should probably be renamed something less formal and more appropriate like "redbud day", because the term "festival" just implies too much. Afterward we went to lunch in Front Royal and then stopped at Big Lots for a few essentials. After dropping the ladies at their respective homes, Joe & I stayed in the rest of the evening.
Sun we slept in late. It was raining and we didn't have anything planned for the day. We finally got ourselves out of the house around 11:30 and went to breakfast at the Charlie Horse Grill. We ran into a couple we knew from church, Tom & Travis. We chatted with them for a few minutes, until our food arrived. Then we decided to go to SteinMart. We'd heard commercials about it and since we really had nothing better to do on a rainy Sun, we drove out to Leesburg to check it out. (You'd never guess that gas is $3. a gallon by all the driving we did this weekend.) Just as we were arriving, the skies began to clear, the clouds broke up and the sun came out. So after giving Stein Mart a cursory walk-thru, we drove back home and dawned tennis shoes and shorts and began cleaning up our front yard. Our beds got no attention at all last summer so we are trying to do a better job this year. We pulled weeds and bagged leaves for a while until our neighbor Suzanne came over. Then we sat on the front porch chatting with her for a while.
We both showered and went to dinner at the Taco House. Despite the dismal start to the day, the afternoon/evening was lovely. We sat outside and enjoyed a lovely spring evening as we ate our fajitas. I also enjoyed a tasty frozen marquerita that went down so smooth, I could have easily had another! Then we picked up a Bavarian cream cake and headed over to the Newlyweds. We had dessert on their top floor balcony, catching up on each others' careers and basking in the breeze. Then we came home and watched 'Sopranos' and 'Big Love'.
So, despite the wet weather, the weekend wasn't a wash-out.
The movie cafe is like a conference room with a movie screen in it. Instead of typical rows of stationary seats, it has tables and office chairs. A waiter takes your order and then brings you food once the movie starts.
At Kerry & Hughs' recommendation, Joe & I got the "I Can't Make Up My Mind" combo, which consisted of a bucket of popcorn, a pitcher of soda, a personal-size pizza, an order of nachos, and a basket of french fries, 2 chicken fingers, 2 mozzarella sticks, and 2 jalapeno poppers. Perfect!
The movie was much funnier than I expected, causing eruptions of laughter from everyone, and the food was tasty and exactly what I was expecting it to be. Probably not so great for dieters or people with cholesterol problems, but great for the occasional splurge. We had a great time.
Afterward we went back to Kerry & Hugh's house to visit, see their photos and DVD, and hear their stories of their recent visit to the Gulf Coast. They spent a week helping in the rebuilding effort after hurricane Katrina.
Then Sat we picked up Joe's mom and my aunt Mary and drove out to Browntown for the Redbud Festival. Browntown is a tiny little itty bitty hamlet about 9 miles outside of Front Royal. The narrow and winding road leading from Front Royal to Browntown has lots and lots of redbud trees, which were doing their best to show off their exquisite beauty despite the intermittent rain and gloomy skies. The "redbud festival" should probably be renamed something less formal and more appropriate like "redbud day", because the term "festival" just implies too much. Afterward we went to lunch in Front Royal and then stopped at Big Lots for a few essentials. After dropping the ladies at their respective homes, Joe & I stayed in the rest of the evening.
Sun we slept in late. It was raining and we didn't have anything planned for the day. We finally got ourselves out of the house around 11:30 and went to breakfast at the Charlie Horse Grill. We ran into a couple we knew from church, Tom & Travis. We chatted with them for a few minutes, until our food arrived. Then we decided to go to SteinMart. We'd heard commercials about it and since we really had nothing better to do on a rainy Sun, we drove out to Leesburg to check it out. (You'd never guess that gas is $3. a gallon by all the driving we did this weekend.) Just as we were arriving, the skies began to clear, the clouds broke up and the sun came out. So after giving Stein Mart a cursory walk-thru, we drove back home and dawned tennis shoes and shorts and began cleaning up our front yard. Our beds got no attention at all last summer so we are trying to do a better job this year. We pulled weeds and bagged leaves for a while until our neighbor Suzanne came over. Then we sat on the front porch chatting with her for a while.
We both showered and went to dinner at the Taco House. Despite the dismal start to the day, the afternoon/evening was lovely. We sat outside and enjoyed a lovely spring evening as we ate our fajitas. I also enjoyed a tasty frozen marquerita that went down so smooth, I could have easily had another! Then we picked up a Bavarian cream cake and headed over to the Newlyweds. We had dessert on their top floor balcony, catching up on each others' careers and basking in the breeze. Then we came home and watched 'Sopranos' and 'Big Love'.
So, despite the wet weather, the weekend wasn't a wash-out.
The Audition
A few weeks ago I really got in the mood to sing again. I’ve been in different choirs, choruses, quartets, and other assorted singing groups on and off for years. Not that my interest keeps waning, but rather, I’ve just not been able to find a group that felt like the right fit.
So I looked on Craigslist and saw an ad for a cappella singers. Well, now that’s getting close I thought. So I responded to the ad and began an email exchange with the musical director of a local group looking for singers. The group is all male and sings all styles of music, mostly arranged by group members. Not exactly what I was hoping for. My ideal group would be male/female and would sing nothing but a cappella jazz. But since I didn’t see anything like that, I decided to investigate this group further.
The musical director of the group, Hugh, said the group was open to doing jazz, but didn’t currently have anything in their repertoire that was arranged in a jazz style. Well I could fix that, I thought to myself. I was upfront with him about my ‘dream’ group, but also thought this might be a fun something to do in the meantime; a way to satisfy my desire to sing and perform again. It might also give me exposure to people who want to do jazz.
Hugh suggested I come to one of their rehearsals, to meet the guys, hear their sound, sing with them a little, and see how the personalities matched and such. It sounded very easy, breezy, and laid back, so I said yes. We arranged for me to join them the following Tues.
That’s when I got that terrible sinus infection. So I emailed Hugh and told him I’d gotten sick and could not make it. He was very gracious and told me to rest and get well; that they’d be there when I got better. So two weeks later when I’d finally gotten most of my congestion relieved, I emailed him and told him I was ready to meet everyone. Great – it was set.
When I showed up I met Hugh first, and was briefly introduced to the other 3 guys. Hugh asked me to fill out a little questionnaire, and then when I finished he asked me “So, are you ready for your audition?” Of course I said ‘yes’ even though the truthful answer would have been ‘no’. I mean, I’d warmed up before arriving and had picked two songs to sing, just in case they wanted to hear me solo, but I really didn’t think I’d be “auditioning” that night. I tried not to let on.
The audition started by Hugh asking me to sing something. I’d chosen my favorite audition piece “It Might As Well Be Spring”, a rendition I’d copied from an old Ella Fitzgerald album. Hugh shook his head and simply said “Nice. Very nice.” Then he asked me to sing another piece so I sang “Misty”, my own rendition of the Johnny Mathis classic. Hugh liked that as well. Then he had me sing scales, to get an idea of my range. He seemed quite pleased, which didn’t surprise me. I do have a pretty wide range, especially in the upper register. Then he had me take a deep breathe and sing a sustained note for as long as I could, to test my ability to hold notes for extended periods. He reported to me that among the singers in the room, I was #3 out of 5 for holding the note the longest. That seemed about right. Then we all stood to sing some pieces together. I was handed a notebook with music in it, and I followed along while they sang the first verse of each song. Then I sang along with them the 2nd time through, and then I was asked to sing the solo parts the 3rd time through. Fortunately I was familiar with 3 out the 4 songs, so I really just needed to get the pitches right, since I knew the rhythm and note values. It went pretty well, although I got really lost on one of the pieces and stopped singing completely. But that’s sight-reading. Most people don’t like doing it, and once you’re in the group, you really don’t have to do it often. Once you get your music, you learn it at home. We ended the audition by just talking a bit about ourselves: what we’ve done musically, what we like, etc. Hugh came outside the apartment door with me as I was leaving, thanked me for coming, and said that after they finished talking about me, he’d give me a call in a few days.
As I walked to my car I felt a sense of accomplishment. I’d done it. I’d gone to an audition that I didn’t even realize was going to be an audition, I’d managed not to let my nerves get the better of me, and I’d done a good job. I felt proud of my performance. But oddly, I almost didn’t care. I thought that if they liked my singing, liked my personality, and wanted me in the group, that would be great. But if they didn’t select me – because I was too ‘jazzy’ or too old or too anything – I wouldn’t take it personally, and I probably wouldn’t even be disappointed. (In fact, I thought it might be a relief NOT to be selected, because I found Hugh to be very attractive, and almost a distraction while I sang my solos.) It was an unusual feeling for me to almost not care, because most of the time I’m very one way or the other. I wasn’t familiar with this feeling of ambivalence. I figured it must have been because it really wasn’t my ideal group. I wasn’t nearly as vested in the outcome of this, as I’d have been if the group were a male/female jazz group.
So, of course because I didn’t really care, I got the position. Well, sorta. Actually, when Hugh called me on Thurs he offered me the position as a substitute. See, they want the group to have a duplicate or substitute singer for every voice part so that the group never has to turn down a gig due to somebody’s schedule. The voice part that I sing is already ‘cast’, so they offered me the substitute position.
At first I felt a little funny about it. I mean, its not like I was dying to be in the group to begin with, but then to be offered a substitute position – made me feel a little ‘less than’. When I sang and competed in high school, I was used to being 1st chair, not 2nd chair. Once when I competed for a place in the All-state choir, I scored 299 out of a possible 300 points, tying a statewide record. However, my good friend Kerry’s response to this story put it all in perspective for me. She said it was perfect: I’d be able to satisfy my desire to sing by going to rehearsal once a week and occasionally performing at gigs, but wouldn’t be obliged to go to rehearsal twice a week or to be available for all of the gigs. She was right! Now I’m happier about my ‘substitute’ status.
So tomorrow night I go for my first official rehearsal.
So I looked on Craigslist and saw an ad for a cappella singers. Well, now that’s getting close I thought. So I responded to the ad and began an email exchange with the musical director of a local group looking for singers. The group is all male and sings all styles of music, mostly arranged by group members. Not exactly what I was hoping for. My ideal group would be male/female and would sing nothing but a cappella jazz. But since I didn’t see anything like that, I decided to investigate this group further.
The musical director of the group, Hugh, said the group was open to doing jazz, but didn’t currently have anything in their repertoire that was arranged in a jazz style. Well I could fix that, I thought to myself. I was upfront with him about my ‘dream’ group, but also thought this might be a fun something to do in the meantime; a way to satisfy my desire to sing and perform again. It might also give me exposure to people who want to do jazz.
Hugh suggested I come to one of their rehearsals, to meet the guys, hear their sound, sing with them a little, and see how the personalities matched and such. It sounded very easy, breezy, and laid back, so I said yes. We arranged for me to join them the following Tues.
That’s when I got that terrible sinus infection. So I emailed Hugh and told him I’d gotten sick and could not make it. He was very gracious and told me to rest and get well; that they’d be there when I got better. So two weeks later when I’d finally gotten most of my congestion relieved, I emailed him and told him I was ready to meet everyone. Great – it was set.
When I showed up I met Hugh first, and was briefly introduced to the other 3 guys. Hugh asked me to fill out a little questionnaire, and then when I finished he asked me “So, are you ready for your audition?” Of course I said ‘yes’ even though the truthful answer would have been ‘no’. I mean, I’d warmed up before arriving and had picked two songs to sing, just in case they wanted to hear me solo, but I really didn’t think I’d be “auditioning” that night. I tried not to let on.
The audition started by Hugh asking me to sing something. I’d chosen my favorite audition piece “It Might As Well Be Spring”, a rendition I’d copied from an old Ella Fitzgerald album. Hugh shook his head and simply said “Nice. Very nice.” Then he asked me to sing another piece so I sang “Misty”, my own rendition of the Johnny Mathis classic. Hugh liked that as well. Then he had me sing scales, to get an idea of my range. He seemed quite pleased, which didn’t surprise me. I do have a pretty wide range, especially in the upper register. Then he had me take a deep breathe and sing a sustained note for as long as I could, to test my ability to hold notes for extended periods. He reported to me that among the singers in the room, I was #3 out of 5 for holding the note the longest. That seemed about right. Then we all stood to sing some pieces together. I was handed a notebook with music in it, and I followed along while they sang the first verse of each song. Then I sang along with them the 2nd time through, and then I was asked to sing the solo parts the 3rd time through. Fortunately I was familiar with 3 out the 4 songs, so I really just needed to get the pitches right, since I knew the rhythm and note values. It went pretty well, although I got really lost on one of the pieces and stopped singing completely. But that’s sight-reading. Most people don’t like doing it, and once you’re in the group, you really don’t have to do it often. Once you get your music, you learn it at home. We ended the audition by just talking a bit about ourselves: what we’ve done musically, what we like, etc. Hugh came outside the apartment door with me as I was leaving, thanked me for coming, and said that after they finished talking about me, he’d give me a call in a few days.
As I walked to my car I felt a sense of accomplishment. I’d done it. I’d gone to an audition that I didn’t even realize was going to be an audition, I’d managed not to let my nerves get the better of me, and I’d done a good job. I felt proud of my performance. But oddly, I almost didn’t care. I thought that if they liked my singing, liked my personality, and wanted me in the group, that would be great. But if they didn’t select me – because I was too ‘jazzy’ or too old or too anything – I wouldn’t take it personally, and I probably wouldn’t even be disappointed. (In fact, I thought it might be a relief NOT to be selected, because I found Hugh to be very attractive, and almost a distraction while I sang my solos.) It was an unusual feeling for me to almost not care, because most of the time I’m very one way or the other. I wasn’t familiar with this feeling of ambivalence. I figured it must have been because it really wasn’t my ideal group. I wasn’t nearly as vested in the outcome of this, as I’d have been if the group were a male/female jazz group.
So, of course because I didn’t really care, I got the position. Well, sorta. Actually, when Hugh called me on Thurs he offered me the position as a substitute. See, they want the group to have a duplicate or substitute singer for every voice part so that the group never has to turn down a gig due to somebody’s schedule. The voice part that I sing is already ‘cast’, so they offered me the substitute position.
At first I felt a little funny about it. I mean, its not like I was dying to be in the group to begin with, but then to be offered a substitute position – made me feel a little ‘less than’. When I sang and competed in high school, I was used to being 1st chair, not 2nd chair. Once when I competed for a place in the All-state choir, I scored 299 out of a possible 300 points, tying a statewide record. However, my good friend Kerry’s response to this story put it all in perspective for me. She said it was perfect: I’d be able to satisfy my desire to sing by going to rehearsal once a week and occasionally performing at gigs, but wouldn’t be obliged to go to rehearsal twice a week or to be available for all of the gigs. She was right! Now I’m happier about my ‘substitute’ status.
So tomorrow night I go for my first official rehearsal.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Catching up
Whew! It has been a very busy couple of weeks. I can't believe how time can slip by when you're really involved. Here's what we've been up to:
Fri 3/24: We met Bugsy and Roger for dinner at the Taco House. They are such nice guys, and we really had a good time eating and visiting with them. We also made tentative plans for them to come with us to the beach some weekend soon. Then, we met up with the Newlyweds and went to Ziegfelds. It was the next-to-the-last weekend Ziegfelds was to be open, so I invited some local friends to join us for a 'night of illusion'! The Newlyweds said yes, and my friend Michael also met us there. We had a really fun night! The drag show was fun, as always, and so was dancing. Ziegfelds is one of 5 clubs forced to close due to the DC Government's taking of the land they sit on by imminent domain in order to build yet another sports stadium. Some of the clubs are supposed to re-open in another location, but its unknown where or when. I've always had fond memories of Ziegfelds because that is where Joe & I met. More on that another time.
Sat 3/25: After sleeping in late, Joe, Jordan and I packed a bag and headed down to Kerry & Hugh's cabin in the Northen Neck of VA. A few years back they built a house in the woods from a log cabin kit! It is beautiful and cozy. It was still kind of chilly so they had a fire going in the wood stove. It was wonderful to just sit around and talk and laugh and goof off. Very relaxing! We came home on Sun afternoon.
Tues 3/28: We met Liz & Rob for dinner at the Taco House. They are both working full time and going to school, so their evenings and weekends are packed with reading, studying, homework, and papers. However, they were off that week for spring break and were able to have dinner with us and catch up. Rob was my roommate in the late 80s and Liz has been a friend of mine since the mid-80s. They're crazy about Napoleon Dynamite like me.
Fri 3/31: We went with the Newlyweds to a tiny local theatre to see a play called "Whole Against the Sky". Its the story of a gay man whose mother tries a little too late to be the mother she never was for him when he was young. It was neat to be in such a small theatre and to be so close to the actors. The play was alright, if not a tad over-acted. But we all agreed it was fun to do something different like that and to support local cultural arts.
Sat 4/1: Sat was painting day at Kathryn's. For several months I have been talking and emailing with my friend Kathryn about painting her living and dining areas. We finally got all the supplies and a few extra hands together and did it. Fortunately Kathryn and Karen had done all of the prep work like taping off the trim and repairing dings in the drywall. It went quickly, so we decided to go ahead and paint the stairway too. It was a really fun day, and her place looked beautiful when we were done. After a shower and little rest, Joe & I headed to Leesburg to have dinner at my colleague and friend Steve's house. He and his wife Amy invited us for a small dinner party. On the way there I started feeling a little congested, but dismissed it to 'seasonal allergies'. We had a great time and stayed until almost midnight.
Sun 4/2: Sun I woke up very congested and had a sore throat. I took some OTC sinus/allergy medication and just took it easy that day, watching TV, doing some laundry, tidying up the kitchen. In the late afternoon Joe & I took a drive on the parkway with the top down because it was unusually warm and sunny. That night I had a terrible time trying to sleep. I was so congested that I had to try to sleep propped up against the headboard to allow my sinuses to drain. I had to keep clearing my throat so I wouldn't choke on my own mucus. It seemed like everytime I dozed off, I woke up coughing or choking. I barely got any sleep.
Mon 4/3: Mon morning I felt so bad that I decided to stay home from work. It was the first time since I've worked here (3 1/2 years) that I called in sick. The pressure in my sinuses and face was incredible. I felt like I'd been run over by a truck... several times! I called my doctor's office and got an appointment. I had a sinus infection, so my doctor prescribed an antibiotic, nasal spray, and told me to continue taking the OTC sinus/allergy medication (antihistimine) and aspirin. I stayed home Tues and Wed too. I did manage to help Joe by creating a simple website for his new practice, along with a listing in the therapist directory on the Psychology Today website.
Fri 4/7: We went to the beach after work.
Sat 4/8: The cable company offered us a free upgrade to digital cable for a year, so on Sat we swapped out the cable box and I programmed the remote with my favorites. It was cold and rainy. We went to the Art House theatre to see "Cache", which is the French word for Hidden. It was an Indy film, in French with English subtitles. I enjoyed it, but Joe didn't like it very much. Here's a synopsis:
Georges (Daniel Auteil), a television talk show host, and his wife Anne (Juliette Binoche), are living the perfect life of modern comfort and security. One day, their idyll is disrupted in the form of a mysterious videotape that appears on their doorstep. The tape reveals they are being filmed by a hidden camera from across the street with no clues as to who shot it, or why. As more tapes arrive containing images that are disturbingly intimate and increasingly personal, Georges launches into an investigation of his own as to who is behind this. As he does so, secrets from his past are revealed, and the walls of security he and Anne have built around themselves begin to crumble.
Wed 4/12: I saw the Mullet Man again! This makes the 3rd or 4th time I've seen him while out at lunch, but at different places. We must like to eat at the same places. This day I was sitting in Quiznos, eating my turkey/bacon/guacamole sub when I saw this glossy black Pontiac Firebird/Trans Am pull up, and out jumped the Mullet Man. Once again, he was wearing a suit and had a friend with him. It just struck me as odd that I have seem him so many times!
Thurs 4/13: I left work at 2:00, threw some things in a bag, and Joe & I headed up to the beach. It was warm and sunny, but the forecast for the next day was cooler and overcast so we didn't go in the convertible. We went for a walk on the beach, went to the grocery store and video store, then had dinner. We watched "Memoirs of a Geisha", which we both enjoyed a lot.
Fri 4/14: My company gave us 'Good Friday' off of work, which is why we were able to go to the beach on Thurs. It was warm but overcast so we ran a few errands (Dollar Store, K-Mart, etc) and then had lunch at Grotto Pizza in downtown Rehoboth. We went for a walk on the boardwalk, which was cool and breezy. We went to see "scary Movie 4", which was fun - very much like the others in the "scary Movie" trilogy. Then we went to dinner at Adriattico, an Italian restaurant. During the night we were awakened by a terrific storm! Very loud claps of thunder, torrential rain, and so much lightening you'd have thought you were in a disco with strobe lighting! Jordan wasn't scared, but the lightening was so bright she put her head under the bedskirt.
Sat 4/15: It was very warm and sunny! We both put on shorts and went for a long walk on the boardwalk in Rehoboth. There were lots and lots of people at the beach. There was some sort of Easter egg activity happening, with a man barking instructions over a very loud speaker. There were tons of people in bathing suits, getting started on their tans. It was a spectacular day. On the way back to the house we saw a thermometer that read 84 degrees - on the day before Easter! We got home from the beach shortly after 6:00 and made plans to meet the Newlyweds for dinner. We picked them up in the convertible and went to Shirlington to eat outside at one of the many restaurants there with outdoor seating. But all of them had waits for tables, so we went to the Taco House. We got a table outside and only had to wait for them to clear it from the last patrons. We had a spectacular evening, dining under the stars on the patio. Michael was telling us about his new job, and the used convertible he and Jamie had just test-driven. After dinner we went for a lovely drive down the parkway to Mount Vernon and back. We dropped them off shortly before 11:00.
Sun 4/16: Easter Sunday! I got up first and took a shower and shaved while Joe enjoyed some additional slumber time. Then I went to the Safeway to pick up some ingredients. I made two pear upside down cakes (my own doctored-up box cake recipe) to take to Louis & Karen's for Easter. We picked up my aunt Mary and arrived at Louis & Karen's at 2:00. We had a really fun time eating, talking, laughing, etc. It was another pretty day; not quite as warm or sunny as Sat, but still very pleasant. The kids and a few adults walked over to the field for a game of softball, a family Easter tradition. Then, as folks began to leave, we just continued talking on the back deck until 7:30. It was a really nice day. We took some left over honey baked ham, macaroni salad, baked beans, and Mary's famous jello sherbet home for later. We ended our Easter Sun by eating left overs and watching 'The Sopranos' and 'Big Love'.
Fri 3/24: We met Bugsy and Roger for dinner at the Taco House. They are such nice guys, and we really had a good time eating and visiting with them. We also made tentative plans for them to come with us to the beach some weekend soon. Then, we met up with the Newlyweds and went to Ziegfelds. It was the next-to-the-last weekend Ziegfelds was to be open, so I invited some local friends to join us for a 'night of illusion'! The Newlyweds said yes, and my friend Michael also met us there. We had a really fun night! The drag show was fun, as always, and so was dancing. Ziegfelds is one of 5 clubs forced to close due to the DC Government's taking of the land they sit on by imminent domain in order to build yet another sports stadium. Some of the clubs are supposed to re-open in another location, but its unknown where or when. I've always had fond memories of Ziegfelds because that is where Joe & I met. More on that another time.
Sat 3/25: After sleeping in late, Joe, Jordan and I packed a bag and headed down to Kerry & Hugh's cabin in the Northen Neck of VA. A few years back they built a house in the woods from a log cabin kit! It is beautiful and cozy. It was still kind of chilly so they had a fire going in the wood stove. It was wonderful to just sit around and talk and laugh and goof off. Very relaxing! We came home on Sun afternoon.
Tues 3/28: We met Liz & Rob for dinner at the Taco House. They are both working full time and going to school, so their evenings and weekends are packed with reading, studying, homework, and papers. However, they were off that week for spring break and were able to have dinner with us and catch up. Rob was my roommate in the late 80s and Liz has been a friend of mine since the mid-80s. They're crazy about Napoleon Dynamite like me.
Fri 3/31: We went with the Newlyweds to a tiny local theatre to see a play called "Whole Against the Sky". Its the story of a gay man whose mother tries a little too late to be the mother she never was for him when he was young. It was neat to be in such a small theatre and to be so close to the actors. The play was alright, if not a tad over-acted. But we all agreed it was fun to do something different like that and to support local cultural arts.
Sat 4/1: Sat was painting day at Kathryn's. For several months I have been talking and emailing with my friend Kathryn about painting her living and dining areas. We finally got all the supplies and a few extra hands together and did it. Fortunately Kathryn and Karen had done all of the prep work like taping off the trim and repairing dings in the drywall. It went quickly, so we decided to go ahead and paint the stairway too. It was a really fun day, and her place looked beautiful when we were done. After a shower and little rest, Joe & I headed to Leesburg to have dinner at my colleague and friend Steve's house. He and his wife Amy invited us for a small dinner party. On the way there I started feeling a little congested, but dismissed it to 'seasonal allergies'. We had a great time and stayed until almost midnight.
Sun 4/2: Sun I woke up very congested and had a sore throat. I took some OTC sinus/allergy medication and just took it easy that day, watching TV, doing some laundry, tidying up the kitchen. In the late afternoon Joe & I took a drive on the parkway with the top down because it was unusually warm and sunny. That night I had a terrible time trying to sleep. I was so congested that I had to try to sleep propped up against the headboard to allow my sinuses to drain. I had to keep clearing my throat so I wouldn't choke on my own mucus. It seemed like everytime I dozed off, I woke up coughing or choking. I barely got any sleep.
Mon 4/3: Mon morning I felt so bad that I decided to stay home from work. It was the first time since I've worked here (3 1/2 years) that I called in sick. The pressure in my sinuses and face was incredible. I felt like I'd been run over by a truck... several times! I called my doctor's office and got an appointment. I had a sinus infection, so my doctor prescribed an antibiotic, nasal spray, and told me to continue taking the OTC sinus/allergy medication (antihistimine) and aspirin. I stayed home Tues and Wed too. I did manage to help Joe by creating a simple website for his new practice, along with a listing in the therapist directory on the Psychology Today website.
Fri 4/7: We went to the beach after work.
Sat 4/8: The cable company offered us a free upgrade to digital cable for a year, so on Sat we swapped out the cable box and I programmed the remote with my favorites. It was cold and rainy. We went to the Art House theatre to see "Cache", which is the French word for Hidden. It was an Indy film, in French with English subtitles. I enjoyed it, but Joe didn't like it very much. Here's a synopsis:
Georges (Daniel Auteil), a television talk show host, and his wife Anne (Juliette Binoche), are living the perfect life of modern comfort and security. One day, their idyll is disrupted in the form of a mysterious videotape that appears on their doorstep. The tape reveals they are being filmed by a hidden camera from across the street with no clues as to who shot it, or why. As more tapes arrive containing images that are disturbingly intimate and increasingly personal, Georges launches into an investigation of his own as to who is behind this. As he does so, secrets from his past are revealed, and the walls of security he and Anne have built around themselves begin to crumble.
Wed 4/12: I saw the Mullet Man again! This makes the 3rd or 4th time I've seen him while out at lunch, but at different places. We must like to eat at the same places. This day I was sitting in Quiznos, eating my turkey/bacon/guacamole sub when I saw this glossy black Pontiac Firebird/Trans Am pull up, and out jumped the Mullet Man. Once again, he was wearing a suit and had a friend with him. It just struck me as odd that I have seem him so many times!
Thurs 4/13: I left work at 2:00, threw some things in a bag, and Joe & I headed up to the beach. It was warm and sunny, but the forecast for the next day was cooler and overcast so we didn't go in the convertible. We went for a walk on the beach, went to the grocery store and video store, then had dinner. We watched "Memoirs of a Geisha", which we both enjoyed a lot.
Fri 4/14: My company gave us 'Good Friday' off of work, which is why we were able to go to the beach on Thurs. It was warm but overcast so we ran a few errands (Dollar Store, K-Mart, etc) and then had lunch at Grotto Pizza in downtown Rehoboth. We went for a walk on the boardwalk, which was cool and breezy. We went to see "scary Movie 4", which was fun - very much like the others in the "scary Movie" trilogy. Then we went to dinner at Adriattico, an Italian restaurant. During the night we were awakened by a terrific storm! Very loud claps of thunder, torrential rain, and so much lightening you'd have thought you were in a disco with strobe lighting! Jordan wasn't scared, but the lightening was so bright she put her head under the bedskirt.
Sat 4/15: It was very warm and sunny! We both put on shorts and went for a long walk on the boardwalk in Rehoboth. There were lots and lots of people at the beach. There was some sort of Easter egg activity happening, with a man barking instructions over a very loud speaker. There were tons of people in bathing suits, getting started on their tans. It was a spectacular day. On the way back to the house we saw a thermometer that read 84 degrees - on the day before Easter! We got home from the beach shortly after 6:00 and made plans to meet the Newlyweds for dinner. We picked them up in the convertible and went to Shirlington to eat outside at one of the many restaurants there with outdoor seating. But all of them had waits for tables, so we went to the Taco House. We got a table outside and only had to wait for them to clear it from the last patrons. We had a spectacular evening, dining under the stars on the patio. Michael was telling us about his new job, and the used convertible he and Jamie had just test-driven. After dinner we went for a lovely drive down the parkway to Mount Vernon and back. We dropped them off shortly before 11:00.
Sun 4/16: Easter Sunday! I got up first and took a shower and shaved while Joe enjoyed some additional slumber time. Then I went to the Safeway to pick up some ingredients. I made two pear upside down cakes (my own doctored-up box cake recipe) to take to Louis & Karen's for Easter. We picked up my aunt Mary and arrived at Louis & Karen's at 2:00. We had a really fun time eating, talking, laughing, etc. It was another pretty day; not quite as warm or sunny as Sat, but still very pleasant. The kids and a few adults walked over to the field for a game of softball, a family Easter tradition. Then, as folks began to leave, we just continued talking on the back deck until 7:30. It was a really nice day. We took some left over honey baked ham, macaroni salad, baked beans, and Mary's famous jello sherbet home for later. We ended our Easter Sun by eating left overs and watching 'The Sopranos' and 'Big Love'.
Friday, April 07, 2006
I'm not dead
I know, I know - its been two weeks since my last post. I'm not dead. I've just been super-busy and sick. I'll catch you up on the details on Sun. For now, its off to the beach.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Self-employed, not Unemployed
Okay, its time to break my silence. There’s been something on my mind for the last few months that I have not blogged about, out of respect for Joe’s feelings. But now that it is no longer a secret, I can share it: Joe quit his job.
He was originally hired at his former job to build the mental health program and assist the Director. Shortly after he was hired, the Director left and he was asked to be the acting Director while a permanent one was sought. He applied and eventually got the position of Director. As time went on and as the Director he got to see in glaring detail how dysfunctional the agency was. He found himself in a position that was nothing like what he’d originally expected to be doing there. Rather than building a mental health program, he found himself as an Administrator whose hands were tied when it came to breaking out of the dysfunctional cycle of work that plagued the agency since before he arrived. He longed to be more ‘hands on’, providing psychotherapy.
Last Nov was the first time he verbalized to me his desire to quit. At that time, I was trying to sort out some changes happening with my job and company, and we were coming into the holiday season, so we decided he’d stick it out at least until the 1st of the year. This would also give him the needed time to be sure his desire to quit would last longer than the frustrations that led him to want to leave. He stayed on and didn’t mention anything to anyone about his thinking of leaving. We continued talking about the viability of his resigning, and what he would do with his time. He said he wanted to expand his current part-time psychotherapy practice into a full-time practice. After all, doing therapy is what provides him with the most satisfaction and personal reward. And set up correctly, it can be pretty lucrative, too.
I was a little concerned that he wanted to resign and go full-time with his private practice just because things weren’t going well at the agency. I thought that wasn’t good, because as quickly as things can change, it seemed to me that his reasons for wanting to resign could possibly be resolved one day. Then he may wish he’d just stuck it out a little longer. At some point in every one of our conversations I would repeat to him “How do you want to spend your time? As the Director/Administrator of an agency, going to meetings and reporting on budgets? Or as a full-time practitioner, seeing clients for therapy?” It seemed to me that there was a much bigger question that he’d not yet answered to himself, or to my satisfaction. “What if you go to work tomorrow and all of the crap has been cleared up, by some major miracle. Would you want to stay? Or would you still long to be doing therapy instead?” Initially he’d answered that he’d stay, because of the regular paycheck, lots of paid leave, and company-paid benefits. But then he finally admitted that even if things did miraculously improve at the agency, he thought he would at some point still want to leave and go into full-time private practice. “There’s your answer then.” I replied. It would still take a little more time for him to be comfortable with his decision and the idea of being self-employed.
About 2 weeks into the New Year he decided he was ready to talk to his boss about it. Since they do not work in the same building, he called her to let her know he planned to resign. They talked briefly and she asked him not to tell anyone yet; she wanted to meet with him in person and talk more about it. Her busy schedule meant waiting a full week. When she met him at his office he was able to go into more detail about his reasons for leaving. She asked him again not to tell anyone, and to give her another week to think about what he’d said and to see if she was able to do anything to alleviate his concerns. They planned to meet again the following week. She was unable to meet him in person the following week, so they spoke over the phone. She really wasn’t able to offer him anything that would lead him to believe that things would be any different in the future, so she agreed to accept his resignation. Once again, she asked him not to tell anyone until she had a chance to line up the person/people who would handle his responsibilities once he’d left.
So, by the first week of Feb he had officially tendered his resignation to his boss and HR, with an effective date of Feb 24, but was not allowed to tell his staff. Finally, about 2 weeks later his boss called an all-hands meeting and announced Joe’s decision to resign and the plans to cover his duties. It was official!
I kind of expected that we should begin immediately preparing for Joe’s new full-time practice. After all, there would be a website to design and get up on the web, additional office hours to secure, more business cards to order, private health insurance to research and obtain, networking meetings to set up, announcements to send to professional acquaintances… the list just seemed to go on and on. Joe immediately secured the additional office hours at his 2 existing locations, but I found him much less anxious to begin all the other tasks I thought we should get started on right away. He said it was difficult for him to keep going back and forth between a “closing down/wrapping things up” mentality at his day job, and the “fresh, new, positive” mentality required for his self-employment. Being a therapist himself, it seemed he should know, so I backed off. His colleagues at the agency gave him a nice send-off luncheon and his final day arrived.
The weeks since then he’s spent looking into additional cost-effective ways to advertise, deciding on the content for his website, and prioritizing his additional tasks. He decided he wanted to start 2 psychotherapy groups, one for gay men in relationships that are having trouble, and one for male-to-female (MTF) transgender folks. So far, the gay men’s group has met once and is scheduled to meet for a total of 8 sessions. He hopes to start the transgender group in April.
We recently met some new people at a dinner party and when asked what he did for a living, Joe replied with a smile: “I’m unemployed.” I quickly corrected him: “You’re self-employed, not unemployed!” The new friends looked a bit confused until Joe explained his recent resignation and the start up of his full-time practice.
Since both of us have always been employed by companies, the idea of Joe now being self-employed is a bit scary for both of us. There is, of course, the natural financial concern of being able to stay up to date with our bills and maintain the lifestyle we currently enjoy. But there’s also the unfamiliarity for him of not having a boss or a daily schedule. He can create for himself a daily schedule, of course, but unlike a regular job, there is no one to whom he must report if he doesn’t keep up. I’m sure that none of this is unusual or new; but rather the same issues that all self-employed people have dealt with. With some time I expect we’ll continue to feel more and more comfortable with this fairly big change in our lives.
There. I’ve said it. Now, it’s real.
He was originally hired at his former job to build the mental health program and assist the Director. Shortly after he was hired, the Director left and he was asked to be the acting Director while a permanent one was sought. He applied and eventually got the position of Director. As time went on and as the Director he got to see in glaring detail how dysfunctional the agency was. He found himself in a position that was nothing like what he’d originally expected to be doing there. Rather than building a mental health program, he found himself as an Administrator whose hands were tied when it came to breaking out of the dysfunctional cycle of work that plagued the agency since before he arrived. He longed to be more ‘hands on’, providing psychotherapy.
Last Nov was the first time he verbalized to me his desire to quit. At that time, I was trying to sort out some changes happening with my job and company, and we were coming into the holiday season, so we decided he’d stick it out at least until the 1st of the year. This would also give him the needed time to be sure his desire to quit would last longer than the frustrations that led him to want to leave. He stayed on and didn’t mention anything to anyone about his thinking of leaving. We continued talking about the viability of his resigning, and what he would do with his time. He said he wanted to expand his current part-time psychotherapy practice into a full-time practice. After all, doing therapy is what provides him with the most satisfaction and personal reward. And set up correctly, it can be pretty lucrative, too.
I was a little concerned that he wanted to resign and go full-time with his private practice just because things weren’t going well at the agency. I thought that wasn’t good, because as quickly as things can change, it seemed to me that his reasons for wanting to resign could possibly be resolved one day. Then he may wish he’d just stuck it out a little longer. At some point in every one of our conversations I would repeat to him “How do you want to spend your time? As the Director/Administrator of an agency, going to meetings and reporting on budgets? Or as a full-time practitioner, seeing clients for therapy?” It seemed to me that there was a much bigger question that he’d not yet answered to himself, or to my satisfaction. “What if you go to work tomorrow and all of the crap has been cleared up, by some major miracle. Would you want to stay? Or would you still long to be doing therapy instead?” Initially he’d answered that he’d stay, because of the regular paycheck, lots of paid leave, and company-paid benefits. But then he finally admitted that even if things did miraculously improve at the agency, he thought he would at some point still want to leave and go into full-time private practice. “There’s your answer then.” I replied. It would still take a little more time for him to be comfortable with his decision and the idea of being self-employed.
About 2 weeks into the New Year he decided he was ready to talk to his boss about it. Since they do not work in the same building, he called her to let her know he planned to resign. They talked briefly and she asked him not to tell anyone yet; she wanted to meet with him in person and talk more about it. Her busy schedule meant waiting a full week. When she met him at his office he was able to go into more detail about his reasons for leaving. She asked him again not to tell anyone, and to give her another week to think about what he’d said and to see if she was able to do anything to alleviate his concerns. They planned to meet again the following week. She was unable to meet him in person the following week, so they spoke over the phone. She really wasn’t able to offer him anything that would lead him to believe that things would be any different in the future, so she agreed to accept his resignation. Once again, she asked him not to tell anyone until she had a chance to line up the person/people who would handle his responsibilities once he’d left.
So, by the first week of Feb he had officially tendered his resignation to his boss and HR, with an effective date of Feb 24, but was not allowed to tell his staff. Finally, about 2 weeks later his boss called an all-hands meeting and announced Joe’s decision to resign and the plans to cover his duties. It was official!
I kind of expected that we should begin immediately preparing for Joe’s new full-time practice. After all, there would be a website to design and get up on the web, additional office hours to secure, more business cards to order, private health insurance to research and obtain, networking meetings to set up, announcements to send to professional acquaintances… the list just seemed to go on and on. Joe immediately secured the additional office hours at his 2 existing locations, but I found him much less anxious to begin all the other tasks I thought we should get started on right away. He said it was difficult for him to keep going back and forth between a “closing down/wrapping things up” mentality at his day job, and the “fresh, new, positive” mentality required for his self-employment. Being a therapist himself, it seemed he should know, so I backed off. His colleagues at the agency gave him a nice send-off luncheon and his final day arrived.
The weeks since then he’s spent looking into additional cost-effective ways to advertise, deciding on the content for his website, and prioritizing his additional tasks. He decided he wanted to start 2 psychotherapy groups, one for gay men in relationships that are having trouble, and one for male-to-female (MTF) transgender folks. So far, the gay men’s group has met once and is scheduled to meet for a total of 8 sessions. He hopes to start the transgender group in April.
We recently met some new people at a dinner party and when asked what he did for a living, Joe replied with a smile: “I’m unemployed.” I quickly corrected him: “You’re self-employed, not unemployed!” The new friends looked a bit confused until Joe explained his recent resignation and the start up of his full-time practice.
Since both of us have always been employed by companies, the idea of Joe now being self-employed is a bit scary for both of us. There is, of course, the natural financial concern of being able to stay up to date with our bills and maintain the lifestyle we currently enjoy. But there’s also the unfamiliarity for him of not having a boss or a daily schedule. He can create for himself a daily schedule, of course, but unlike a regular job, there is no one to whom he must report if he doesn’t keep up. I’m sure that none of this is unusual or new; but rather the same issues that all self-employed people have dealt with. With some time I expect we’ll continue to feel more and more comfortable with this fairly big change in our lives.
There. I’ve said it. Now, it’s real.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Monday's Miracle
Shortly after Joe & I met, nearly 10 years ago, a friend introduced us to a wonderful little Mexican restaurant called the Taco House. It was a family owned and run place. Luis owned the restaurant and his sister Gloria and her husband Juan and their niece Sandra worked there too. They were very friendly and our frequent visits quickly made us 'regulars'. We met Gloria's mother, and saw Juan & Gloria's kids grow up in front of us. I would practice my very, very limited Spanish with them, and they would help me learn new words and phrases.
The restaurant was located on a block in Crystal City with a bunch of other restaurants. It was a little dark inside, with dark stained wainscoting on the walls and stucco above that. There were sombreros and serapes hanging on the walls, along with a few oil paintings of a conquistador and possibly some Mexican royalty. It certainly wouldn't win any awards for its decor, but the friendliness of the staff, the delicious food, and the very reasonable prices made it an award winner to us. The restaurant also had a covered porch for warm weather dining, something we really enjoyed.
We really got into the habit of eating at the Taco House. By habit I mean, at least once a week; sometimes more than once a week. We'd often bring friends there, when meeting up with friends for dinner and to catch up. Our friends brought their friends there, too, and would tell us how much their friends enjoyed themselves. We brought our family there for Mother's Day a few years. We had my birthday dinner there one year and it was great - me and Joe and about 14 of our friends! Since my birthday is Dec, the Taco House staff had decorated the tables with poinsettas. They brought out a few bottles of wine and a few platters of appetizers when everyone arrived - none of which showed up on our bill. As we were leaving they told us to take the poinsettas home with us! One year at Christmastime they gave us one of those Entertainment books full of coupons for area restaurants. They appreciated our business and our friendship, and we made sure to always overtip so that their kindness never caused them to lose money on us or our parties.
I recall many trips home from the beach on a Sun evening, thinking to myself how great it would be to wind up the weekend with a delicious Taco House dinner, only to have my thought train interrupted by Joe asking "How about we drop the dog off at the house and then have dinner at the Taco House?"
Then, one chilly March evening in 2004, our bliss came to a screeching halt. We had arranged to meet Liz & Robert at the Taco House, and when we arrived we saw a sign on the door that read "Closed for Repairs". We were a bit concerned about what kind of "repairs" were required that would shut down the restaurant. Restaurants hate to shut down because they lose money when they're not open. At least once a week for the next several months we drove by to see if the Taco House had re-opened yet. It hadn't. So I decided to call and see if their answering machine's outgoing message might have their anticipated re-opening date. The message simply indicated they were closed for remodeling and hoped to re-open very soon.
March turned into Spring, Spring became Summer, Summer became Fall, Fall became Winter. The Taco House was stilled closed. With a little less frequency we would still drive by to check on the status. We saw the covered porch had been totally enclosed with new windows and a new roof. That seemed to be a good sign, but we worried how a restaurant could be closed for 9 months. What happened to Gloria, Juan, and Sandra? How were they getting along without an income?
Winter became Spring, and when we drove by again one day we were devastated. The new porch enclosure had been completely torn off the front of the restaurant, and the door and window were boarded up with plywood. Then we noticed the absolute worst thing; the thing that caused our hearts to sink: the Taco House sign had been removed from the roof.
All kinds of stories swirled around in our heads. Maybe Luis had gotten in over his head with the renovations and had run out of money before completing the job. Maybe Gloria, Juan and Sandra had gotten frustrated and went to work elsewhere. Maybe some chain restaurant had given Luis an offer he couldn't refuse and had purchased the location. It seemed we'd never know for sure what happened to our friends at the Taco House, but the removal of the sign seemed like the equivalent of the Taco House's obituary.
While the renovations were still going on, we'd tried to satisfy our love for good Mexican food by visiting other places. The metro DC area has no shortage of ethnic restaurants, and we tried nearly all of the Mexican ones but couldn't find anything quite like the Taco House. Finding nothing that could compare to 'our place' made the loss even harder. Lots of our friends would suggest getting together there for dinner, and we'd have to solemnly tell them that the Taco House was no more. Joe & I truly grieved the loss.
Spring became Summer, Summer became Fall, Fall became Winter. Then about 2 weeks ago our friends Liz & Robert called us on a Fri evening. They were standing in front of the old Taco House location and said that a new restaurant had opened where the Taco House had once been. They were going to give it a try and wanted to know if we wanted to join them. We thanked them for the invitation but told them we were about to leave for the beach in a few minutes. I made a mental note that Joe & I should check out the new Mexican place when we got a chance, but deep inside knew it wouldn't be as good as the Taco House.
The following week we didn't hear from Liz & Robert about the restaurant and I sort of forgot about it. Then the Mon after that, which was this past Mon, it was unseasonably warm, about 85 degrees. I drove to and from work with the top down on my car - in March! When I got home from work Joe said "Let's take a ride over to see that new restaurant that opened where the Taco House used to be." I agreed and we headed over there. On the way I fantasized that maybe we'd see our friends Gloria, Juan, and Sandra again, but then quickly realized how ridiculous that was. Why on earth would they all be working in a new restaurant in the same spot?
When we pulled up we saw a beautiful brick patio (uncovered) where some folks were enjoying dining al fresco, and we saw the sign for the new restaurant: Cantina Mexicana. We also noticed that the front of the restaurant had been opened up. Rather than the original door and window we'd last seen boarded up, there was a wall of glass with a glass door, letting in lots of light.
When we went inside I couldn't believe my eyes! There was Juan, waiting tables! He finished writing down someone's order, looked up at us and his face lit up with a smile. "Amigo!" I said as we approached each other and hugged. "I can't believe you're here. We've missed you. Is Gloria here? And Sandy?" After we were seated Gloria came out from the kitchen and the two of them explained what had happened.
The landlord had told them they needed to update the restaurant. He wanted them to paint, get new seating, and enclose the front porch. They told him they couldn't afford to pay for all of that, so the landlord finally said they would have to improve the interior and he would take care of the exterior. They began the painting and ordered new booths and chairs, and the landlord hired someone to enclose the front porch. Unfortunately the landlord had not bothered to get a permit from the County for the construction, so when the County inspectors came by for a surprise inspection, the landlord was told to stop the construction immediately and apply for a permit. The permit was denied and the landlord was told to have the enclosed porch removed. Juan got a job painting houses during the day, and working with Gloria at another restaurant in the evenings. Their brother Luis decided to change the name of the Taco House to go with the new look, and perhaps to justify the raising of the prices. Finally in Nov of 2005 the Taco House re-opened as Cantina Mexicana - only we didn't know it. It was just before Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years so we just hadn't bothered to drive over there. Besides, we thought the Taco House was gone for good when the sign was gone.
Now the dark stained wainscoting is gone and the place has a new, lighter color scheme. The removal of the front wall which was replaced by a glass wall also contributes to the lighter feel. The new booths and chairs look much like the old ones, only the colors are lighter, and you don't 'sink' down into the booths so much anymore. The sombreros, serapes, and oil paintings are back (we were especially happy about the oil paintings, which were always our favorite decorations) but they all have a new, fresher feel to them. It felt like the same old place we'd known and loved, only lighter and brighter.
Juan brought us ENORMOUS marguaritas, and we ordered our favorite appetizer, the chicken quesadilla, followed by our favorite entrees, chipotle shrimp fajitas for me and chicken breast chipotle for Joe. We also managed to eat 2 baskets of chips while we were there. We were so happy that our favorite Mexican restaurant AND our friends were now back in our lives! I'm not sure if it was the unusually warm weather, the reunion with our Taco House friends, or that gigantic marguarita, but I felt like I'd experienced a miracle.
Although I like the new name, Cantina Mexicana, I can't quite get used to saying it. I keep catching myself still referring to it as the Taco House. I told Joe "They can name it anything they want to, but it will ALWAYS be the Taco House to me." But I think that's okay. In a way, its sort of like paying homage to its roots. (I still call Reagan National airport 'National airport'.)
We're meeting Greg & Gerry at the Taco House for dinner tonight, and we're meeting Michael & Jamie (the Newlyweds) at the Taco House for dinner tomorrow night.
The restaurant was located on a block in Crystal City with a bunch of other restaurants. It was a little dark inside, with dark stained wainscoting on the walls and stucco above that. There were sombreros and serapes hanging on the walls, along with a few oil paintings of a conquistador and possibly some Mexican royalty. It certainly wouldn't win any awards for its decor, but the friendliness of the staff, the delicious food, and the very reasonable prices made it an award winner to us. The restaurant also had a covered porch for warm weather dining, something we really enjoyed.
We really got into the habit of eating at the Taco House. By habit I mean, at least once a week; sometimes more than once a week. We'd often bring friends there, when meeting up with friends for dinner and to catch up. Our friends brought their friends there, too, and would tell us how much their friends enjoyed themselves. We brought our family there for Mother's Day a few years. We had my birthday dinner there one year and it was great - me and Joe and about 14 of our friends! Since my birthday is Dec, the Taco House staff had decorated the tables with poinsettas. They brought out a few bottles of wine and a few platters of appetizers when everyone arrived - none of which showed up on our bill. As we were leaving they told us to take the poinsettas home with us! One year at Christmastime they gave us one of those Entertainment books full of coupons for area restaurants. They appreciated our business and our friendship, and we made sure to always overtip so that their kindness never caused them to lose money on us or our parties.
I recall many trips home from the beach on a Sun evening, thinking to myself how great it would be to wind up the weekend with a delicious Taco House dinner, only to have my thought train interrupted by Joe asking "How about we drop the dog off at the house and then have dinner at the Taco House?"
Then, one chilly March evening in 2004, our bliss came to a screeching halt. We had arranged to meet Liz & Robert at the Taco House, and when we arrived we saw a sign on the door that read "Closed for Repairs". We were a bit concerned about what kind of "repairs" were required that would shut down the restaurant. Restaurants hate to shut down because they lose money when they're not open. At least once a week for the next several months we drove by to see if the Taco House had re-opened yet. It hadn't. So I decided to call and see if their answering machine's outgoing message might have their anticipated re-opening date. The message simply indicated they were closed for remodeling and hoped to re-open very soon.
March turned into Spring, Spring became Summer, Summer became Fall, Fall became Winter. The Taco House was stilled closed. With a little less frequency we would still drive by to check on the status. We saw the covered porch had been totally enclosed with new windows and a new roof. That seemed to be a good sign, but we worried how a restaurant could be closed for 9 months. What happened to Gloria, Juan, and Sandra? How were they getting along without an income?
Winter became Spring, and when we drove by again one day we were devastated. The new porch enclosure had been completely torn off the front of the restaurant, and the door and window were boarded up with plywood. Then we noticed the absolute worst thing; the thing that caused our hearts to sink: the Taco House sign had been removed from the roof.
All kinds of stories swirled around in our heads. Maybe Luis had gotten in over his head with the renovations and had run out of money before completing the job. Maybe Gloria, Juan and Sandra had gotten frustrated and went to work elsewhere. Maybe some chain restaurant had given Luis an offer he couldn't refuse and had purchased the location. It seemed we'd never know for sure what happened to our friends at the Taco House, but the removal of the sign seemed like the equivalent of the Taco House's obituary.
While the renovations were still going on, we'd tried to satisfy our love for good Mexican food by visiting other places. The metro DC area has no shortage of ethnic restaurants, and we tried nearly all of the Mexican ones but couldn't find anything quite like the Taco House. Finding nothing that could compare to 'our place' made the loss even harder. Lots of our friends would suggest getting together there for dinner, and we'd have to solemnly tell them that the Taco House was no more. Joe & I truly grieved the loss.
Spring became Summer, Summer became Fall, Fall became Winter. Then about 2 weeks ago our friends Liz & Robert called us on a Fri evening. They were standing in front of the old Taco House location and said that a new restaurant had opened where the Taco House had once been. They were going to give it a try and wanted to know if we wanted to join them. We thanked them for the invitation but told them we were about to leave for the beach in a few minutes. I made a mental note that Joe & I should check out the new Mexican place when we got a chance, but deep inside knew it wouldn't be as good as the Taco House.
The following week we didn't hear from Liz & Robert about the restaurant and I sort of forgot about it. Then the Mon after that, which was this past Mon, it was unseasonably warm, about 85 degrees. I drove to and from work with the top down on my car - in March! When I got home from work Joe said "Let's take a ride over to see that new restaurant that opened where the Taco House used to be." I agreed and we headed over there. On the way I fantasized that maybe we'd see our friends Gloria, Juan, and Sandra again, but then quickly realized how ridiculous that was. Why on earth would they all be working in a new restaurant in the same spot?
When we pulled up we saw a beautiful brick patio (uncovered) where some folks were enjoying dining al fresco, and we saw the sign for the new restaurant: Cantina Mexicana. We also noticed that the front of the restaurant had been opened up. Rather than the original door and window we'd last seen boarded up, there was a wall of glass with a glass door, letting in lots of light.
When we went inside I couldn't believe my eyes! There was Juan, waiting tables! He finished writing down someone's order, looked up at us and his face lit up with a smile. "Amigo!" I said as we approached each other and hugged. "I can't believe you're here. We've missed you. Is Gloria here? And Sandy?" After we were seated Gloria came out from the kitchen and the two of them explained what had happened.
The landlord had told them they needed to update the restaurant. He wanted them to paint, get new seating, and enclose the front porch. They told him they couldn't afford to pay for all of that, so the landlord finally said they would have to improve the interior and he would take care of the exterior. They began the painting and ordered new booths and chairs, and the landlord hired someone to enclose the front porch. Unfortunately the landlord had not bothered to get a permit from the County for the construction, so when the County inspectors came by for a surprise inspection, the landlord was told to stop the construction immediately and apply for a permit. The permit was denied and the landlord was told to have the enclosed porch removed. Juan got a job painting houses during the day, and working with Gloria at another restaurant in the evenings. Their brother Luis decided to change the name of the Taco House to go with the new look, and perhaps to justify the raising of the prices. Finally in Nov of 2005 the Taco House re-opened as Cantina Mexicana - only we didn't know it. It was just before Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years so we just hadn't bothered to drive over there. Besides, we thought the Taco House was gone for good when the sign was gone.
Now the dark stained wainscoting is gone and the place has a new, lighter color scheme. The removal of the front wall which was replaced by a glass wall also contributes to the lighter feel. The new booths and chairs look much like the old ones, only the colors are lighter, and you don't 'sink' down into the booths so much anymore. The sombreros, serapes, and oil paintings are back (we were especially happy about the oil paintings, which were always our favorite decorations) but they all have a new, fresher feel to them. It felt like the same old place we'd known and loved, only lighter and brighter.
Juan brought us ENORMOUS marguaritas, and we ordered our favorite appetizer, the chicken quesadilla, followed by our favorite entrees, chipotle shrimp fajitas for me and chicken breast chipotle for Joe. We also managed to eat 2 baskets of chips while we were there. We were so happy that our favorite Mexican restaurant AND our friends were now back in our lives! I'm not sure if it was the unusually warm weather, the reunion with our Taco House friends, or that gigantic marguarita, but I felt like I'd experienced a miracle.
Although I like the new name, Cantina Mexicana, I can't quite get used to saying it. I keep catching myself still referring to it as the Taco House. I told Joe "They can name it anything they want to, but it will ALWAYS be the Taco House to me." But I think that's okay. In a way, its sort of like paying homage to its roots. (I still call Reagan National airport 'National airport'.)
We're meeting Greg & Gerry at the Taco House for dinner tonight, and we're meeting Michael & Jamie (the Newlyweds) at the Taco House for dinner tomorrow night.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Philadelphia Freedom
On Sat Joe & I picked up my aunt Mary and Joe’s mom Evelyn and headed up the highway to Philadelphia for the day.
Evelyn was born, grew up, got married, and had 3 children while living in South Philadelphia. Her husband was also born and raised in South Philly, so both of them had lots of family around. After moving to VA they returned to South Philly on many weekends to visit with their relatives.
Mary is a native Washingtonian, but dated a guy originally from South Philly for several years. During the time they dated they went to South Philly many times, so she and Evelyn were both excited about our day trip. Joe & I were most excited about the food!
Road construction and toll plaza delays made it take a little longer than expected to get there, but we arrived close to noon. Lunch time! We decided to get a Philly cheese steak at the famous Pat’s. There’s no real consensus on where to get the best Philly cheese steak. Some say Pat’s, others say Geno’s, and yet others say Tony Luke’s. We decided on Pat’s this time, mostly because we found a parking place directly in front Pat’s. (It’s nice that there seemed to be no metered parking in South Philly.) Unfortunately South Philly is kind of dirty in places.
After lunch we walked over to the ‘Italian Market’ on 9th St. There were lots of little shops and eateries along several blocks of 9th St. Evelyn & Mary both bought cheese, salami, and hard rolls, and Joe, Mary and I got Gelato (Italian ice cream). There were lots of sidewalk vendors selling fresh produce, fish and seafood, and even live chickens and quail.
After feeling confident that we’d walked off our lunch, we got back in the car with our map and began looking for landmarks and familiar places. We drove by the hospital where Evelyn was born in 1930 and the church where she was married in 1951. We drove by the house where Evelyn’s in-laws lived, and stopped at the last house where Evelyn lived before moving to VA. She and I knocked on the door and a Philipino woman looked at us through the window, but would not come to the door. So Evelyn spoke to her through the window, telling her “I used to live here.” I think the woman may have been uncomfortable with her English and still would not come to the door. Next we went to the house two doors down where Evelyn remembered her neighbor Mary had lived. She knocked on the door and spoke to Mary’s son Ross. After explaining who she was, Ross remembered her and invited us in. Mary was in a wheelchair in the living room. At 94 years old she wasn’t quite sure who Evelyn was, but she seemed happy to have a visitor. We stayed just a few minutes, but Evelyn was happy to have connected with a happy time from her past.
Next we stopped at Termini Brothers bakery. I’m not sure if I can adequately describe this experience with words. Termini Brothers looks like it has been stuck in a time warp since 1935. When you enter, you see wood and glass pastry display cases, not the metal and glass you might expect. The floor has the original tile work and the ceiling has the original pressed tin. The smell of all the goods baked on the premises was euphoric. They even had two guys in the front corner playing music! Women dressed all in white came out from behind the pastry display cases carrying stainless steel trays, lightly dusted with flour and asked us “Can I help you?” Joe & I walked through the place, eying every delectable item, asking “Oooo, what’s that?” When she identified the items, we’d say “Okay, we’ll take one of those.” Then a man came out of the back carrying a platter of samples. He offered us a very large sample of a St. Joseph’s cake. “We only make St. Joseph’s cakes one time each year, during the month of March, in honor of St. Joseph’s Day on March 19th. It’s a light pastry top and bottom with a lightly sweetened ricotta filling.” We accepted the samples and as we tasted the heavenliness I believe our eyes rolled back in our heads. We turned to our lady with the tray of goodies we’d selected and told her “We need one of those.” And of course, we had to get some authentic Italian canolis and anis pizzelles. When we felt we’d done enough damage in the place we allowed the lady with the tray to carefully place our bounty into a pastry box which she then tied with string. It was so wonderfully old-fashioned it was actually comforting to watch this. When all was said and done, we spent $46. in the bakery. We managed not to eat it all in the car on the way home, so we’re still enjoying these delicacies now.
Then we drove passed the church where Mary had gone to a wedding with her old boyfriend, and then we drove by the now vacant lot where her old boyfriend’s uncle’s house was. We don’t know if the house was destroyed by a fire or was simply torn down, but there’s just a vacant lot there now. Mary said that "Uncle Frankie" was a mobster who occasionally dressed in drag for Halloween!
Then we drove by the famous Melrose diner, but decided not to eat dinner there. We went to Tony Luke’s restaurant called Vito’s. Evelyn, Joe & I got gnocchi with meatballs, and Mary got eggplant parmesan. They were delicious but the servings were too generous, so we all took our leftovers home with us and relished in the thought of getting to eat them the next day.
After dropping off the ladies, Joe & I got home just after 11pm. It was a long day, but an enjoyable one. We got to see and experience a lot.
Evelyn was born, grew up, got married, and had 3 children while living in South Philadelphia. Her husband was also born and raised in South Philly, so both of them had lots of family around. After moving to VA they returned to South Philly on many weekends to visit with their relatives.
Mary is a native Washingtonian, but dated a guy originally from South Philly for several years. During the time they dated they went to South Philly many times, so she and Evelyn were both excited about our day trip. Joe & I were most excited about the food!
Road construction and toll plaza delays made it take a little longer than expected to get there, but we arrived close to noon. Lunch time! We decided to get a Philly cheese steak at the famous Pat’s. There’s no real consensus on where to get the best Philly cheese steak. Some say Pat’s, others say Geno’s, and yet others say Tony Luke’s. We decided on Pat’s this time, mostly because we found a parking place directly in front Pat’s. (It’s nice that there seemed to be no metered parking in South Philly.) Unfortunately South Philly is kind of dirty in places.
After lunch we walked over to the ‘Italian Market’ on 9th St. There were lots of little shops and eateries along several blocks of 9th St. Evelyn & Mary both bought cheese, salami, and hard rolls, and Joe, Mary and I got Gelato (Italian ice cream). There were lots of sidewalk vendors selling fresh produce, fish and seafood, and even live chickens and quail.
After feeling confident that we’d walked off our lunch, we got back in the car with our map and began looking for landmarks and familiar places. We drove by the hospital where Evelyn was born in 1930 and the church where she was married in 1951. We drove by the house where Evelyn’s in-laws lived, and stopped at the last house where Evelyn lived before moving to VA. She and I knocked on the door and a Philipino woman looked at us through the window, but would not come to the door. So Evelyn spoke to her through the window, telling her “I used to live here.” I think the woman may have been uncomfortable with her English and still would not come to the door. Next we went to the house two doors down where Evelyn remembered her neighbor Mary had lived. She knocked on the door and spoke to Mary’s son Ross. After explaining who she was, Ross remembered her and invited us in. Mary was in a wheelchair in the living room. At 94 years old she wasn’t quite sure who Evelyn was, but she seemed happy to have a visitor. We stayed just a few minutes, but Evelyn was happy to have connected with a happy time from her past.
Next we stopped at Termini Brothers bakery. I’m not sure if I can adequately describe this experience with words. Termini Brothers looks like it has been stuck in a time warp since 1935. When you enter, you see wood and glass pastry display cases, not the metal and glass you might expect. The floor has the original tile work and the ceiling has the original pressed tin. The smell of all the goods baked on the premises was euphoric. They even had two guys in the front corner playing music! Women dressed all in white came out from behind the pastry display cases carrying stainless steel trays, lightly dusted with flour and asked us “Can I help you?” Joe & I walked through the place, eying every delectable item, asking “Oooo, what’s that?” When she identified the items, we’d say “Okay, we’ll take one of those.” Then a man came out of the back carrying a platter of samples. He offered us a very large sample of a St. Joseph’s cake. “We only make St. Joseph’s cakes one time each year, during the month of March, in honor of St. Joseph’s Day on March 19th. It’s a light pastry top and bottom with a lightly sweetened ricotta filling.” We accepted the samples and as we tasted the heavenliness I believe our eyes rolled back in our heads. We turned to our lady with the tray of goodies we’d selected and told her “We need one of those.” And of course, we had to get some authentic Italian canolis and anis pizzelles. When we felt we’d done enough damage in the place we allowed the lady with the tray to carefully place our bounty into a pastry box which she then tied with string. It was so wonderfully old-fashioned it was actually comforting to watch this. When all was said and done, we spent $46. in the bakery. We managed not to eat it all in the car on the way home, so we’re still enjoying these delicacies now.
Then we drove passed the church where Mary had gone to a wedding with her old boyfriend, and then we drove by the now vacant lot where her old boyfriend’s uncle’s house was. We don’t know if the house was destroyed by a fire or was simply torn down, but there’s just a vacant lot there now. Mary said that "Uncle Frankie" was a mobster who occasionally dressed in drag for Halloween!
Then we drove by the famous Melrose diner, but decided not to eat dinner there. We went to Tony Luke’s restaurant called Vito’s. Evelyn, Joe & I got gnocchi with meatballs, and Mary got eggplant parmesan. They were delicious but the servings were too generous, so we all took our leftovers home with us and relished in the thought of getting to eat them the next day.
After dropping off the ladies, Joe & I got home just after 11pm. It was a long day, but an enjoyable one. We got to see and experience a lot.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Dine Out for Life
‘Dine Out for Life’ is a fund raiser for Food & Friends, an organization that delivers meals to homebound people with AIDS. I used to volunteer in the kitchen at Food & Friends on Mon evenings for a few years. ‘Dine Out for Life’ is a program where restaurants in the metro DC area agree to contribute a percentage of their receipts for that night to Food & Friends. Diners have an enjoyable dinner at a restaurant, and the restaurant contributes to this worthy charity. It’s all good.
Joe & I have participated by inviting friends to join us for dinner on ‘Dine Out for Life’ night for several years. We enjoy having dinner with friends, and this is just another good excuse to do so. A few times we’ve trekked into the city and met friends at the DuPont Italian Kitchen. Last year we ate with Mike & Clark and Bugsy & Roger at Aroma, an Indian restaurant in Shirlington. We’d originally planned to eat at the Carlyle, but upon arrival found there was an approximately 90 minute wait, and the waiting area was so crowded there really wasn’t room to even stand and wait. Aroma is just down the street, there was no wait at all, and we had a lovely time. (See my blog entry from Mar 10, 2005 called ‘My Life as Carrie Bradshaw, Part II’ for details of that evening.)
Last night for ‘Dine Out for Life’ we went to Pasha Café in Cherrydale. Mike & Clark couldn’t make it, but Bugsy & Roger came and so did our friends Ron and Michael (without their respective busy partners). Pasha Café is a small restaurant with a Mediterranean/Italian/Greek menu. The food was pretty good, but not as good as the Lebanese Taverna, which has a similar menu. We had a lovely evening, catching up on each other’s lives and happenings.
Bugsy & Roger are considering a new car so we talked about Roger’s recent visit to the auto show. We all shared our horror stories of trying to buy a new car from a dealership without spending too much money and without taking 18 hours to complete the transaction. Michael is also considering another car. He really wants a convertible so the previous night he’d gone to see a ’99 Saab convertible being sold by a private seller. Michael felt the car was overpriced, likely because its owner was so emotionally attached to it. A few at our table warned Michael of reliability issues friends had reported with Saabs so I think Michael was probably more undecided after dinner than before. (Personally I still think he should consider a well-maintained, used BMW convertible.)
Joe & I hadn’t seen Bugsy & Roger in close to a year, so we were surprised to see much less of them. They’ve been on Weight Watchers and have each lost close to 40 lbs. After congratulating them and telling them how great they both looked, I confessed that Joe & I had success on Weight Watchers about 4 years ago, but gained all the weight back when we fell off the ‘Weight Watchers wagon’. They then confessed that this was their second time on WW, which made me feel better, knowing we weren’t the only ones. It also made me feel oddly hopeful that we, too, could choose to follow WW again and have success again, like they did.
Yesterday’s weather was unseasonably warm. I drove around at lunch time and drove home from work with my roof down. As we were leaving the restaurant last night we paused on the front sidewalk and commented about what a lovely evening it was. Still probably close to 60 degrees, it was an unusual but welcome March evening. We finished our conversations and said our goodbyes. Although not spoken, I silently pledged not to let much time go by before getting together again with these treasured friends.
Joe & I have participated by inviting friends to join us for dinner on ‘Dine Out for Life’ night for several years. We enjoy having dinner with friends, and this is just another good excuse to do so. A few times we’ve trekked into the city and met friends at the DuPont Italian Kitchen. Last year we ate with Mike & Clark and Bugsy & Roger at Aroma, an Indian restaurant in Shirlington. We’d originally planned to eat at the Carlyle, but upon arrival found there was an approximately 90 minute wait, and the waiting area was so crowded there really wasn’t room to even stand and wait. Aroma is just down the street, there was no wait at all, and we had a lovely time. (See my blog entry from Mar 10, 2005 called ‘My Life as Carrie Bradshaw, Part II’ for details of that evening.)
Last night for ‘Dine Out for Life’ we went to Pasha Café in Cherrydale. Mike & Clark couldn’t make it, but Bugsy & Roger came and so did our friends Ron and Michael (without their respective busy partners). Pasha Café is a small restaurant with a Mediterranean/Italian/Greek menu. The food was pretty good, but not as good as the Lebanese Taverna, which has a similar menu. We had a lovely evening, catching up on each other’s lives and happenings.
Bugsy & Roger are considering a new car so we talked about Roger’s recent visit to the auto show. We all shared our horror stories of trying to buy a new car from a dealership without spending too much money and without taking 18 hours to complete the transaction. Michael is also considering another car. He really wants a convertible so the previous night he’d gone to see a ’99 Saab convertible being sold by a private seller. Michael felt the car was overpriced, likely because its owner was so emotionally attached to it. A few at our table warned Michael of reliability issues friends had reported with Saabs so I think Michael was probably more undecided after dinner than before. (Personally I still think he should consider a well-maintained, used BMW convertible.)
Joe & I hadn’t seen Bugsy & Roger in close to a year, so we were surprised to see much less of them. They’ve been on Weight Watchers and have each lost close to 40 lbs. After congratulating them and telling them how great they both looked, I confessed that Joe & I had success on Weight Watchers about 4 years ago, but gained all the weight back when we fell off the ‘Weight Watchers wagon’. They then confessed that this was their second time on WW, which made me feel better, knowing we weren’t the only ones. It also made me feel oddly hopeful that we, too, could choose to follow WW again and have success again, like they did.
Yesterday’s weather was unseasonably warm. I drove around at lunch time and drove home from work with my roof down. As we were leaving the restaurant last night we paused on the front sidewalk and commented about what a lovely evening it was. Still probably close to 60 degrees, it was an unusual but welcome March evening. We finished our conversations and said our goodbyes. Although not spoken, I silently pledged not to let much time go by before getting together again with these treasured friends.
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
The Closet
Over the weekend I read this article written by Murray Archibald, published in 'Letters from Camp Rehoboth'. I thought the point about the results of being closeted was worth passing on.
The Lesson of Brokeback
by Murray Archibald
To say that I am a little obsessed with the film Brokeback Mountain would be exaggeration—but only a slight one. Like many Letters’ readers, I’m sure, this brilliant film directed by Ang Lee touched me deeply, and its stark and tragic story continued to replay in my mind for a far longer time than I usually expect, even for a film of this caliber. (As an aside, I suppose I should also confess that I’d watch almost anything with Jake Gyllenhaal in the cast, and though Steve usually agrees with me on that, even he vetoed a recent suggestion that we watch The Day After Tomorrow for the third—or maybe the fourth—time last week.)
I bring up Brokeback Mountain here because its story tells us something important about ourselves, not just as gay people but as human beings. Brokeback Mountain is the story of two men—Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist—who hide their love from the world around them and even from themselves. Ultimately it is a story about the destructive nature of life in the closet and the sickness of a society that demands it. Brokeback Mountain graphically illustrates how the closet can become to the soul like a splinter buried deep in the flesh—its pain and inflamation affecting the entire body.
Sometimes the excuse of the closet is a sense that it protects the loved ones in our lives; all too often, it simply alienates friends and family and destroys the relationships it sought to save in the first place. In truth, there is no relationship—there is no contact—when there is a closed door between human beings. The love that Jack and Ennis had for one another could not survive in the vacuum of the closet, and its eventual implosion touched and damaged all the other people close to them.
One of the great tools of a society bent on preserving the closet is silence. Silence is the closet. In a recent interview in Newsweek magazine, Ang Lee was asked, "...are you surprised that Brokeback Mountain hasn’t raised more protest from the religious right?" He responded: "I didn’t know they would take a position of deliberate quietness, so that they wouldn’t [inadvertently] promote the movie."
Change never comes about because of silence, which is one reason that conservative churches (or other institutions for that matter) don’t want open dialogue about GLBT issues. As long as they can simply point a finger and scream "sinner," they don’t have to open the closet door. To engage in a true dialogue about the differences in our beliefs—to have a true conversation with one another, person to person, human to human—necessitates the opening of the closet door. Change happens when we open doors. When we come out to our family, our family is changed. When we come out in our church, our church is changed. When we come out in our school, our school is changed. When we come out in our community, our community is changed.
I believe with all my heart that we are living the change. At times our opponents seem more vocal and organized than ever, but that is in direct proportion to our success and visibility in the world around us, and we must not be intimidated by them. The Advocate recently reported that among high school seniors in the class of 2006, 74% supported legalized same-sex marriage or civil unions—think about what those figures would have been just a few short years ago.
When we started CAMP Rehoboth 16 years ago, it was about coming out, not just as individuals, but as a community. We were responding to the need to be visible, to be heard, to become a part of the community around us. I clearly remember the first year that this magazine appeared on the streets of our town. There was both support and opposition from both straight and gay people in our community. Change can be frightful to all of us, but once we get through it, it is rarely as frightening as we imagined it would be. The same can be said for coming out of the closet—it affects us all, the individual, the family, the church, the community, the society as a whole.
The CAMP Rehoboth Community Center is about the health of our community, both gay and straight. It is about keeping the doors of the closet standing wide open—no, on second thought, it’s about removing them altogether—so that we can reach out and touch one another, neighbor to neighbor, person to person, human to human.
2006 will be an important year for the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center and we will be pushing hard all the way through the year to not only meet our goals, but to exceed them. Perhaps if Jack and Ennis even had the smallest inkling that a place like this could exist, their story would have had a very different ending.
The Lesson of Brokeback
by Murray Archibald
To say that I am a little obsessed with the film Brokeback Mountain would be exaggeration—but only a slight one. Like many Letters’ readers, I’m sure, this brilliant film directed by Ang Lee touched me deeply, and its stark and tragic story continued to replay in my mind for a far longer time than I usually expect, even for a film of this caliber. (As an aside, I suppose I should also confess that I’d watch almost anything with Jake Gyllenhaal in the cast, and though Steve usually agrees with me on that, even he vetoed a recent suggestion that we watch The Day After Tomorrow for the third—or maybe the fourth—time last week.)
I bring up Brokeback Mountain here because its story tells us something important about ourselves, not just as gay people but as human beings. Brokeback Mountain is the story of two men—Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist—who hide their love from the world around them and even from themselves. Ultimately it is a story about the destructive nature of life in the closet and the sickness of a society that demands it. Brokeback Mountain graphically illustrates how the closet can become to the soul like a splinter buried deep in the flesh—its pain and inflamation affecting the entire body.
Sometimes the excuse of the closet is a sense that it protects the loved ones in our lives; all too often, it simply alienates friends and family and destroys the relationships it sought to save in the first place. In truth, there is no relationship—there is no contact—when there is a closed door between human beings. The love that Jack and Ennis had for one another could not survive in the vacuum of the closet, and its eventual implosion touched and damaged all the other people close to them.
One of the great tools of a society bent on preserving the closet is silence. Silence is the closet. In a recent interview in Newsweek magazine, Ang Lee was asked, "...are you surprised that Brokeback Mountain hasn’t raised more protest from the religious right?" He responded: "I didn’t know they would take a position of deliberate quietness, so that they wouldn’t [inadvertently] promote the movie."
Change never comes about because of silence, which is one reason that conservative churches (or other institutions for that matter) don’t want open dialogue about GLBT issues. As long as they can simply point a finger and scream "sinner," they don’t have to open the closet door. To engage in a true dialogue about the differences in our beliefs—to have a true conversation with one another, person to person, human to human—necessitates the opening of the closet door. Change happens when we open doors. When we come out to our family, our family is changed. When we come out in our church, our church is changed. When we come out in our school, our school is changed. When we come out in our community, our community is changed.
I believe with all my heart that we are living the change. At times our opponents seem more vocal and organized than ever, but that is in direct proportion to our success and visibility in the world around us, and we must not be intimidated by them. The Advocate recently reported that among high school seniors in the class of 2006, 74% supported legalized same-sex marriage or civil unions—think about what those figures would have been just a few short years ago.
When we started CAMP Rehoboth 16 years ago, it was about coming out, not just as individuals, but as a community. We were responding to the need to be visible, to be heard, to become a part of the community around us. I clearly remember the first year that this magazine appeared on the streets of our town. There was both support and opposition from both straight and gay people in our community. Change can be frightful to all of us, but once we get through it, it is rarely as frightening as we imagined it would be. The same can be said for coming out of the closet—it affects us all, the individual, the family, the church, the community, the society as a whole.
The CAMP Rehoboth Community Center is about the health of our community, both gay and straight. It is about keeping the doors of the closet standing wide open—no, on second thought, it’s about removing them altogether—so that we can reach out and touch one another, neighbor to neighbor, person to person, human to human.
2006 will be an important year for the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center and we will be pushing hard all the way through the year to not only meet our goals, but to exceed them. Perhaps if Jack and Ennis even had the smallest inkling that a place like this could exist, their story would have had a very different ending.
Friday, March 03, 2006
TGIF
I’m SO glad its Friday! It’s been busy at work this week and I am feeling ‘done’. Let the wild, reckless partying begin!
I’ve been eagerly watching American Idol, making my predictions for who will get voted off, and smugly watching the results shows to see my predictions come true. A few months back I was reviewing my blog and saw all of the Idol entries. Jeez, talk about overkill. So, although I am watching this season with the same eagerness as before, I will not be blogging every other minute about the show. ‘Kay, nuff said.
I saw the Mullet Man again. It was shocking. (If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, see my blog entry on June 8, 2005 entitled ‘Do you know the Mullet Man…’) There I was, just minding my own business, eating my burger and fries at Five Guys, when in the door he walked, presumably with some co-workers. Mind you, this is not an accidental mullet. His hairdresser didn’t mistakenly cut the sides a little too short and leave the back a little too long. Oh no – this in an intentional mullet. I think what makes it look even stranger and out of place is the fact that this Mullet Man is not wearing jeans, a John Deere t-shirt, or a plaid flannel shirt. No… he’s wearing a suit and tie!!! I started to wonder about the co-workers who go to lunch with him. Do they realize their own professional image could be marred by this man’s coiffure? If I worked with the Mullet Man I don’t think I’d want to be seen in public with him. Maybe that makes me shallow, I’m not sure, but I’d prefer to think it makes me selective.
We’re going to the beach this evening after work. Our friends Doug & Jim are considering buying a mobile home near the beach, and invited us to go with them to see some that are ‘open’ this weekend. “What are you doing this weekend?” is probably a question we’ve all been asked before. But I bet “Trailer shopping” is NOT a response most people have given. We’ll probably go to dinner with them Sat night too. We always have a good time with those guys!
I’ve been eagerly watching American Idol, making my predictions for who will get voted off, and smugly watching the results shows to see my predictions come true. A few months back I was reviewing my blog and saw all of the Idol entries. Jeez, talk about overkill. So, although I am watching this season with the same eagerness as before, I will not be blogging every other minute about the show. ‘Kay, nuff said.
I saw the Mullet Man again. It was shocking. (If you’re not sure what I’m talking about, see my blog entry on June 8, 2005 entitled ‘Do you know the Mullet Man…’) There I was, just minding my own business, eating my burger and fries at Five Guys, when in the door he walked, presumably with some co-workers. Mind you, this is not an accidental mullet. His hairdresser didn’t mistakenly cut the sides a little too short and leave the back a little too long. Oh no – this in an intentional mullet. I think what makes it look even stranger and out of place is the fact that this Mullet Man is not wearing jeans, a John Deere t-shirt, or a plaid flannel shirt. No… he’s wearing a suit and tie!!! I started to wonder about the co-workers who go to lunch with him. Do they realize their own professional image could be marred by this man’s coiffure? If I worked with the Mullet Man I don’t think I’d want to be seen in public with him. Maybe that makes me shallow, I’m not sure, but I’d prefer to think it makes me selective.
We’re going to the beach this evening after work. Our friends Doug & Jim are considering buying a mobile home near the beach, and invited us to go with them to see some that are ‘open’ this weekend. “What are you doing this weekend?” is probably a question we’ve all been asked before. But I bet “Trailer shopping” is NOT a response most people have given. We’ll probably go to dinner with them Sat night too. We always have a good time with those guys!
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