Weekend highlights

I had a relaxing Sat morning drinking coffee and watching HGTV while Spouse was at his personal trainer appointment. When he came home we had brunch (steak and cheese omelettes) and then went to a store to try to use a Christmas gift card. Only, I didn't see anything I really wanted, so I decided to hold onto the gift card for another time.

Then we went to the stained glass studio to check in with the artist about the back-ordered glass we've been waiting on for months. It still hadn't arrived so Spouse & I picked a different (in-stock) piece so they could finally get started on the big diamond-shaped window we commission 6 months ago. While there, we worked with the artist to design the 3 rectangle window inserts for the windows over the tub. We are very happy with the way the design came out, and they had all the glass we need in stock. So, hopefully it won't be too much longer before we can take down those temporary paper shades and install our stained glass window inserts.

For my birthday last month Spouse gave me an mp3 player. So Sat afternoon I read the directions and loaded it up with music I already had on the computer from the 1st mp3 player. I had one before that was very inexpensive and broke a month or two later. Despite it being cheap, I returned it and got my money back. My new mp3 player has more sorting/playback options and is much nicer.

Sat evening we met Steven & Thad at Ruby Tuesday for dinner. They are dieting too, so it was a good place for us to have dinner. The salad bar is the best!! Steven also had coupons for buy-one-get-one-free, so that was a nice bonus. Then went to their house to watch "500 Days of Summer". It was pretty good, but one thing really bothered me about the film. The male lead's young sister (probably 12 years old) was completely ridiculous providing her adult brother with sage relationship advice. There was absolutely no need for that character, and giving her wisdom far, far beyond her age was just unbelievable. However, at one point the screen split in 2 and on 1 side the story continued with the word 'Expectation' under it, while on the other side the story continued with the word 'Reality' under it. I found this clever and a very effective way to communicate what sometimes happens in people's heads early on in dating. After the movie we watched an episode of "Jersey Shore", which was incredibly bad on an unprecedentedly monumental scale. But we had fun hanging out with our friends.

Sun morning after breakfast I went to the gym (my 3rd work out this week). Spouse & I went to get his car washed since it was coated in road salt from Friday's snow, but their was a HUGE line at the car wash so we gave up. We did our grocery shopping for the week, and then came home and roasted chicken, steak, and veggies. We really like doing this 'cook on Sunday, heat up on weekdays' kind of thing! We have meals for every day this week, and then some. Despite the temperature just hovering around freezing, we decided to take Jordan for a walk around the neighborhood. The sun was out and we bundled up warmly so it wasn't too bad. Later we went to Bob's for chili and game night. However, our conversations were so interesting that we never played any games! We just talked until after 9:00. We had a good time.

I was looking forward to my weigh-in this morning. Typically when someone starts a diet they have a dramatic 1st week weigh-in. Steven's was 9 lbs and Spouse's was 10 lbs. Mine was very disappointing though. Despite depriving myself of all kinds of goodies this week, sticking to my healthy eating all week, AND working out 3 times, I only lost 2 lbs. Naturally it made we want to immediately order a large meatlovers pizza and eat the entire thing. By myself. But I didn't. Instead I tried to remind myself that my goal was to reduce my portion sizes, eat less processed foods, eat more fruits and veggies, and work out at least twice. So, looking at that, I was very successful. But my expectation was that by doing the above, I would also drop 6-8 lbs, which I did not. Although initially discouraged, I remain committed to my goal.

Crush du Jour: Danny Dyer

Friday fragments

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post. Let's get started, shall we?

I've mentioned before that Spouse & I started playing team trivia in the fall with Steven & Thad and The Bobs at a local watering hole. Last night we won 1st place again ($25. gift card)! What's funny to me is that we have so much fun doing this. If someone would have asked me "Do you think you'd have fun playing a group trivia game?" I would have smirked. But Steven & Thad and The Bobs got us into it and being with them is a big part of why we like it so much. And its not just about knowing the answers; its also about having a good wagering strategy. In last night's game we couldn't come to a consensus on the answer to a bonus question where you lose the points you wager if you're wrong. So we decided not to answer and lost no points. The other 9 teams all answered, got the answer wrong, and lost the points they wagered.

It snowed overnight. We seem to have gotten about 2-3 inches of the light, fluffy kind of snow. I can see it blowing off the rooftops. We don't get snow here often because of being so close to the ocean. Warmer air off the ocean is pulled up into the storms so we often get rain here when our friends 12 miles inland get several inches of snow. Its very pretty because the sun is shining brightly today.

I saw this over at the notorious j*o*e and just had to swipe it!

It made me laugh out loud!

Today is day 5 of my healthy eating/weight loss effort. So far so good. Lord knows I've done this enough times that I should be used to it by now. I think the biggest adjustment for me is eating breakfast. You should not skip meals when trying to loose weight, but I've been in the habit of simply drinking coffee for breakfast for years. But I've found a few small, nutritional things to eat for breakfast that are fitting in well, like Special K protein breakfast bars and oatmeal. I forgot how much I liked oatmeal! The instant kind (add water and microwave for 90 seconds) is so convenient and comes in many flavor options. Yesterday: banana nut; today: Maple. Warm oatmeal is especially nice on chilly winter mornings. Anyone have other nutritional, tasty, convenient breakfast food ideas?

I decided to watch this week's episode of "Launch My Line" because I heard that Lady GaGa was appearing in it. Unfortunately she wasn't a guest judge nor did she even introduce the challenge. It was more of a 'cameo' for her. You'd think I'd watch this show regardless, since I love Project Runway so much. But I have to confess that I HATE those creepy twins that host the show. I'm not sure what it is; maybe its their mouths or the fact that they dress identically, but they creep me out. I couldn't watch the whole episode.

Speaking of Project Runway, the new season (7) starts next Thurs the 14th! Its back in NYC (thank god) and they promise Michael Kors and Nina Garcia will be in every episode. Let's just hope and pray the 'talent' is there this season.

Part of my New Year's resolution to re-invent my appearance involves experimenting with my facial hair and finding a new hairstyle. Now, experimenting with my facial hair is somewhat tricky for me because my 'beard' is very light in color and does not grow in evenly. I didn't shave for 2 full weeks and was hoping for a cool, scruffy face look, but it just wasn't working. (Hey, I can dream, right?) So yesterday I shaved my cheeks and neck, leaving a 'stache/goatee combo. (Click to enlarge, if you dare.)

See what I mean about the color being light? I'm not sure if I will keep it or not. But since not shaving at all doesn't look good on me, and completely shaving is what I've been doing, this seems to be my only alternative for 'something different'.

(Man, I look tired...)

I'm also letting my hair grow out of the fauxhawk style. I really liked the fauxhawk but I'm tired of it for me. 5 years is long enough. I want something new and different. I'm letting my hair grow out to give me more options. Here is my current hair experiment, minus the fauxhawk.

Considering I've not cut my hair, I don't think this looks bad. I mean, I don't think it looks like I'm trying to grow out an old hairstyle. RIP, dear Fauxhawk.

My friend Jared who often supplies me with gems to share with you on Friday fragments sent me this amazing walrus video. To me, what's even funnier than the walrus is the people's reactions!! Enjoy.

Happy weekend!

Crush du Jour: Ronan Keating

Roadside assistance

As a kid I remember seeing AAA commercials on TV. People paid monthly subscription fees for AAA's "driver assistance", "trip/driving directions", and "hotel discounts".

You youngsters will probably have difficulty believing this, but back in the olden days AAA offered drivers the peace of mind of knowing that if their car broke down, they could walk to the nearest phone booth, call AAA and a tow truck would be dispatched. Its true!

But with the advent of cell phones, GPS, OnStar, Mapquest, and websites like hotels.com, does anyone belong to AAA anymore?

Even roadside assistance is no longer exclusive to AAA. Nearly all auto insurance companies offer it for a nominal fee, and I love it.

Several years ago when Spouse & I had just purchased our mobile-'home away from home' at the beach, our Ford Explorer broke down. It was the Sat night before Easter Sun and we had brought some furniture and stuff to our vintage beach place. We were heading back home to VA late that night so we could spend Easter Sun with our family. We stopped to fill up at a gas station kind of in the middle of nowhere. When we were ready to get back on the road, the truck wouldn't start. I used my cell phone to call for roadside assistance. The tow truck driver was unable to get our truck started, so he towed it to a local garage. We paid nothing. A cab took us back to the beach. We did have to pay for the cab.

On my worst birthday ever when Big Ella would not start, I called roadside assistance. Again, my car was towed on a flatbed to the mechanic's garage and I paid $0. (It turned out to be the generator.)

Just last week, Spouse's Honda CRV would not start due to the extreme cold and a weak battery. He drove my BMW to work and after it warmed up a bit I called roadside assistance. A mechanic started Spouse's car using jumper cables, which technically we could have done ourselves. But since I knew we had roadside assistance, we didn't have to get our hands greasy or dirty trying to jump start the car ourselves, in the cold. (Once started, I drove it to a garage and the 7 year old battery was replaced.)

In all 3 cases, for just $36. a year or $3. a month, for the roadside assistance perk offered by our insurance company, we were never without help AND we paid $0. for the attempts to restart our vehicles and for the towing. The people we spoke to and the tow truck drivers they sent couldn't have been nicer or more helpful, and we didn't need a subscription to a separate service provider like AAA.

And as for the "trip/driving directions" and "hotel discounts" that used to be such an added value to AAA's membership? We didn't need them either.

I heart roadside assistance!

Crush du Jour: Eric Leven

Politicizing National Security

Interesting food for thought. The bold and italics are mine.

Politicizing National Security
by: John Morgan Wed Dec 30, 2009

While the Christmas Day attempted bombing of a Delta airliner was unsuccessful Republicans are attempting to make political hay of the incident. We know we have massive holes in our national security defense, we know this because George W. Bush refused to finance our homeland defense. Instead he insisted on an "offense only" approach. Ports, chemical plants and borders were ignored in favor of "taking it to the enemy." Now the GOP is trying to blame Barack Obama for Bush's strategy. Not only that but they are holding up TSA for political purposes.

I suppose this all goes back to Rush's strategy of making Obama fail so Republicans can blame Democrats for their own failures. By having someone like Sen. Jim DeMint block the appointment of someone to run TSA because he thinks allowing workers to stand up for themselves is worse than leaving the country vulnerable to attack they can then blame President Obama for not having someone at the helm. It's the classic "have your cake and eat it too" mentality. Republicans can vote against funding and installation of chemical scanning machines (108 of them voted against it) then blame Obama for not having enough of them. Of course they had eight years to fund and install these but invading a country which posed no strategic national security threat to us was more important.

Let us remember this flight originated in Amsterdam. Barack Obama has no control over what the Dutch do, what security measures they use, or what any other country does at their airports. These are all sovereign nations which resent us trying to tell them what to do. We can only control what we do and we failed miserably in this area. I've written repeatedly of the negligence given to our homeland security since 9/11. We simply haven't spent the money to upgrade in critical areas and what was spent was spent badly. Much of it went for pork. Much went where it wasn't needed.

Making political hay because of one's own negligence is worse than being disingenuous, it is outright fraud. I'm past the point where I think Republicans have no shame, they have no sense of anyone but themselves. As such they have no one but themselves to blame.

Sam Stein reports that eight GOP Senators voted against funding for airport screening and explosive detection equipment:
The Improving America's Security Act of 2007 was a relatively non-controversial measure that effectively implemented several un-acted-upon recommendations from the 9/11 Commission. Eighty-five Senators voted in favor of the bill's passage. Seven missed the vote (several of whom were on the campaign trail, including Barack Obama, John McCain and Chris Dodd).
Eight Republican Senators, however, voted against passage, including Sens. John Barrasso (R-Wyo.), Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.), Tom Coburn (R-Okl.) Jim DeMint (R-S.C.) Elizabeth Dole (R-N.C.), Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), James Inhofe (R-Okl.) and Jon Kyl (R-Ari.).

DeMint, of course, is the same Senator who chose to oppose unions more than terrorists.

Crush du Jour: Jason Whipple

Weight loss

Now that the 6-week food orgy know as "the holidays" (Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years) is over, it seems everyone I know is on a diet. Including me.

Now, I don't believe in diets in a general sense. I've said/written it before and I'll say/write it again: Diets are temporary measures that yield temporary results. Most people who go on a diet lose weight, but gain it all back (and sometimes more) when they go back to their regular eating habits.

That is why I'm not really on a diet, per se. I am trying to change my eating habits so I can become more healthy and lose weight. Loosing weight is hard, but actually changing your eating habits is almost impossible!

I'm not a doctor or a weight loss expert, but I'm going to share some tips if you are interested in becoming more healthy, loosing weight, and changing your eating habits for good:

• Reduce your portion sizes. This is probably the easiest to do because it doesn't involve eating or not eating anything, it involves the amount. Serve yourself a typical portion, then put 1/3 of it back into the pot. Only eat 2/3 of what you typically would. Its and it works.
• Reduce your consumption of processed foods. Although the convenience of boxed, processed foods is alluring, they usually contain more sodium, chemicals, and calories than fresh foods. The convenience of boxed and microwavable (processed) foods isn't worth it.
• Increase your consumption of fresh vegetables and fruit. By nature these are generally lower in fat and calories than most foods, and contains lots of vitamins, nutrients, and antioxidants your body needs. They also require less digestion so you don't feel tired like you do when your body spends hours digesting complex foods.
• Don't skip meals. Skipping meals causes your metabolism to switch into 'famine' mode and store fat. Eat at least 3 meals a day, and preferably 5 smaller meals a day. Going too long between meals increases your potential to gorge when you finally eat.
• Drink lots of water. Water is good for you regardless of whether or not you're trying to lose weight. It keeps you hydrated and helps flush wastes from your body.
• Don't eat after 8pm. Its best to be active after you eat to promote calorie burning. If you eat late at night your body doesn't have time to burn the calories you've eaten before you go to sleep.
• Stop eating as soon as you feel satisfied. Even if you only have 3 bites left on your plate, listening when your body says its satisfied prevent you from 'filling up' and will allow your stomach to shrink.
• Reduce or eliminate alcohol and soda consumption. Alcohol contains lots of (empty) calories and sodas contain lots of sugar and chemicals. Even diet soda contains artificial sweeteners and chemicals your body doesn't need. Consume less or eliminate completely.
• Exercise regularly. Whether you work out at a gym, in your home, or simply walk a few miles around your neighborhood, exercising regularly burns calories and helps suppress your appetite. It can also ease light depression.
• Stock your kitchen with the right foods. Don't self-sabotage by having ice cream, baked goods and chips in your kitchen. Shop with a purpose and fill your fridge and cupboards with fresh, natural, whole foods. Buy and enjoy healthy 'snacks' like nuts, dried fruit, and fat free pretzels as treats.
• Moderation. Its unreasonable to think you're never going to have ice cream or birthday cake ever again. Its okay to treat yourself once in a while, just do so in moderation. One scoop of ice cream or a 1/2 piece of cake will likely satisfy your sweet tooth without wrecking your diet.
• Replace good items with better ones. Pasta is fine in moderation, but whole wheat pasta is better for you. Peanut butter is a good source of protein, but low fat peanut butter is better for you.
• Make smarter choices. You will likely still want to eat out at restaurants occasionally so make smarter choices. This doesn't automatically mean salads, since salad dressings are often loaded with fat and calories. Look for baked, broiled, or grilled fish and chicken entrees, and substitute the fries with a vegetable.
• Don't give up. If you 'fall off the wagon' by over-indulging, don't think the day (or week) is ruined. Forgive yourself and get right back on the wagon! Sometimes an over-indulgence will not prevent you from losing weight.

These tips have all worked for me. I lost weight and felt more energetic and healthy. My biggest struggle is sticking to them for an extended period, or, changing my eating habits. But knowing I have shared my challenge with you all will help me be strong!

Here's to your health!

Crush du Jour: Alberto Umana

New Year's weekend highlights

We had a terrific New Year's weekend! Although we hadn't planned a lot of activities in advance, our 3-day weekend was full of fun stuff!

For New Year's Eve we went to a potluck dinner at Chris & Jason's house. Many of our friends were there, including Steven & Thad, the Bobs, Rusty, Joe, and Art. I had simmered a crockpot full of meatballs all day long and took them to the party. We had a ham, potato salad, spinach balls, chicken balls, chips and dips, hot wings, my saucy meatballs, and everything was delicious. I had a mimosa and a glass of Prosecco at the party. Then around 10:00 the group went to a local watering hole where we hung out until the final countdown to the new year. We raised our clear plastic champagne glasses and at midnight we toasted and wished each other a happy new year. Earlier in the day I got a text message from my old friend David, indicating he was on his way into town so we arranged to meet up at the watering hole. The last time we'd seen each other was at my grandparents' funeral in Jan 1990, 20 years ago! I introduced him to Spouse and we had fun chatting and reminiscing.

On New Year's day most of the guys from the potluck reconvened for brunch at The Buttery, a beautiful restaurant in an old Victorian house. The food and mimosas were good, the homemade baked goods were great, but the company was the best. We ate, drank, and laughed for 2 1/2 hours. A great start to the new year in my opinion. Spouse & I stopped at a few stores to do some comparison shopping, then walked over to Jared & Merle's house. They'd invited us to come over for a little new year's nosh (we didn't tell them we'd just finished brunch an hour earlier) and we had a great time. Jared made a homemade cheese cake and homemade eggnog with spiced rum, both of which were out of this world. We visited with them in their parlor and I sat in the chair closest to the fireplace which added that extra umph to a warm and cozy afternoon. Jared sent us home with 2 huge slices of cheese cake, too!

Once home, Spouse took a nap and I watched some TV until it was time for our regular Fri Night Dinner with 'the usual suspects'. 12 of us ate at Miltonian Pizzeria and Wing House, and Spouse & I shared our favorite: Bodacious buffalo chicken pizza. (Its hard to believe we could possibly eat again after all we'd eaten earlier that day.) Afterward, several of the guys came back to our house for a little while before we all headed out to the MANDance, a monthly dance party at a local watering hole. Since Spouse doesn't really like going to bars, it was a real surprise to me that he agreed to go out 2 nights in a row! I only had 1 cocktail because the MANDance quickly got very crowded and hot. Simply getting to the bar was an ordeal, so we just danced and had a great time. We saw lots of friends there, including our old friend Kevin who moved to FL several years ago, then moved to MD last year, then moved back home to DC a few months ago. What a nice surprise to catch up with him again!

Sat Spouse & I had breakfast out, then did a little more comparison shopping. (He was looking for 1/2 sheet cake size pans and we are looking for a small chest freezer.) Once home again Spouse took a nap and I watched TV and played around on Facebook. We had dinner at Irish Eyes Pub with Steven & Thad. I had a tasty sandwich of turkey, cole slaw, and thousand island dressing on pumpernickel bread, with fries. Spouse had cajun chicken pasta. The 4 of us returned to our house and watched "Bruno". Like everyone else, we found it to be funny in parts but not as good as "Borat". Afterward we split the 2 huge pieces of Jared's cheese cake between the 4 of us.

Sun we had brunch with our friends Koset & Jim. I had french toast with a side of scrapple. Mmmm, good! We met them at the car club dinner and awards banquet last Sept, and learned that they live 1 block from where Spouse & I 1st lived together in VA. They also have a house in Rehoboth Beach and spent the New Year's weekend there. We had a great time getting to know them better and the time just flew by. Later Spouse (finally) found is 1/2 sheet cake pans at a good price, and then picked up some groceries for our new healthy eating plan. He roasted yellow, zucchini, and acorn squash, eggplant, mushrooms, and grape tomatoes with a little olive oil, salt, pepper, and balsamic vinegar. He also roasted 6 boneless chicken breasts and a steak. Now that the cooking has mostly been done, for dinner this week we'll just need to heat up the meat and vegetables and season (if necessary).

We capped off our long weekend by indulging in some soon-to-be forbidden flavors, as our diet begins on Mon. We met Steven & Thad at Purple Parrot where I had an absurdly large platter of nachos and beer. And as if that pig-out wasn't enough, we stopped at Cold Stone Creamery for ice cream on the way home! I was so full from dinner that I barely managed to eat my delicious combination of dark chocolate and peanut butter flavored ice cream. I felt as if I were going to explode.

Now, I will go ahead and say what I know you're all thinking: "It sounds like you ate the entire weekend!" I don't blame you; its basically true. We over-indulged the entire weekend because we felt like it was our last chance (for a while, at least) to enjoy these decadent foods and treats. See, Steven & Thad and Spouse & I all 4 started new eating plans today. Although using somewhat different methods, our shared goal is to reduce our portion sizes, reduce our consumption of processed foods, and increase our consumption of fresh, natural veggies and fruit. Along with increased exercise, we anticipate our healthy eating plans will result in weight loss and a better overall feeling about ourselves. So this past weekend - a holiday weekend - was our last chance to indulge our love for tasty, fatty, sweet, fried foods.

I'd say we took full advantage of that opportunity.

Crush du Jour: Ian Somerhalder

Happy New Year!!!

Wishing everyone a new year full of happiness!

Crush du Jour: Mateus Verdelho

New Years Eve

Well, its New Year's Eve; typically a time when people reflect on the events of year that has been and look forward to the opportunities of the year that is about to begin.

Many Americans make New Year's resolutions, of which I am a fan. I think there is power in making resolutions (or goals) for the year and stating them publicly so your friends can help you stick to them!

But many people speak disparagingly of New Year's resolutions, since most are not resolutions at all, but rather, wishful intentions that are quickly forgotten a few days later. Here are the top 10 most frequent New Year's resolutions:

• Diet
• Quit smoking
• Exercise
• Quit drinking
• Quit procrastinating
• Save money
• Go to church
• Wake up early
• Quit cursing
• Read the newspaper

I like to make a few New Year's resolutions that I will really work to achieve. I make sure my resolutions are measurable. "Diet" and "Exercise" are not good resolutions, as there is no real way to measure whether or not you've done them. "Eat more veggies" and "Exercise 3 times per week" are much better resolutions because you can track them.

One year my New Year's resolution was to entertain on a regular basis. Spouse & I picked a weekend in every month and invited friends over for dinner, both Fri and Sat nights. We did it and had a LOT of fun. The dinners weren't 'fancy'. Often we had casual meals like chili or homemade soup, and we ate in the kitchen instead of the formal dining room. Another year my New Year's resolution was to sort, throw away, organize and file several bags/boxes of paperwork (ie: bank statements, paystubs, real estate documents, insurance documents, etc.) we had accumulated over many years. We did this, too, and felt a real sense of accomplishment when finished.

This year my resolution is to re-invent my appearance! (Yeah, I know. Sounds crazy, right?) No, I'm not talking about plastic surgery to look like Taylor Lautner.

For a while now I've been kind of bored with the way I look. I've always had this kind of 'wholesome', 'goody two shoes' kind of look about me. This was taken about 12 years ago......and look how utterly BORING I looked! Don't you just want to vomit? To fight my inherent saccharine sweetness I've always been willing to try experimental or avant garde hairstyles. I got my current 'fauxhawk' hairstyle almost 5 years ago when nobody else had it... ...but now its simply too common for me. Every wannabe hipster has a fauxhawk now and I'm bored with it for me. So I'm letting my hair grow out for a while. That should give me more options for my new look. My stylist is currently wracking himself in search of the next hot look for me!

But a new hairstyle is not a re-invention of my appearance, it is just one element.

I also stopped shaving right after Christmas. Unfortunately my beard doesn't grow very fast and doesn't fill in evenly so I probably won't be able to sport that 'scruffy face' look I find so sexy on other men. But I'm letting it grow for a while to see how it looks and to give me options (like a goatee, van dyke, soul patch, etc).

But I'm not done.

I'm going to continue my weekly personal trainer visits, but I'm also going back to our local gym at least once a week. Hopefully more than once a week, but once a week is an attainable goal. I want to burn some calories on the treadmill and lift weights in order to sculpt my aging body into a less embarrassing sight.

But I'm still not done.

Starting on Mon Jan 4 I am going to eat smaller, more healthy meals. My aim is to make portions that will not 'fill me up', but rather, satisfy my hunger and nourish me. I really want to increase my fruit and veggie intake and decrease my processed food intake. So if you have tried-and-true, flavorful, healthy meal recipes please email them to me! I'll need all the help I can get.

So, there you have it: my 1 New Year's resolution is to re-invent my appearance by changing my hair, possibly doing something with my facial hair, exercising regularly and more often, and loosing weight through smaller, more healthful meals. It all starts on Mon.

Tonight Spouse & I are going to a New Year's Eve potluck at a friend's house at 7:30. I have a crockpot full of meatballs simmering away in my special sauce to take with us. Then around 10:00 the potluck gang is heading out to a local watering hole to socialize and ring in the new year.

Whatever your plans tonight, please do NOT drink and drive. Seriously, call a cab if you to 'celebrate' a little too much.

I wish you a SAFE and FUN New Year's Eve, and a new year overflowing with happiness!

Crush du Jour: Jeremy Scahill

Dream

The 1st night we stayed at Spouse's mom's (over the holidays) Spouse was snoring a lot so I slept in a different bedroom, and had a strange but enjoyable dream.

Before I go any further, I just want to say that I don't put any stock into dream content. I've had many crazy dreams, and I don't believe dreams predict the future or allow you to play out deep-seated fantasies. Nor do I believe that all the characters in a dream are just different facets of you. Instead, I believe the scientific theory that dreams are the simple consequence of neural oscillation.

So, on with my dream...

I dreamed that while I was sleeping in the other bedroom I was awakened by the squeak of the bedroom door opening. I opened my eyes to find one of my blogger friends (whom I've never met in person and do not have a crush on) creeping into my room. His hair was tousled and he was wearing only underwear, as if he'd just woken up from a disorienting dream. He closed the door and then slipped into my bed without saying a word.

At first I thought "What is [Blogger] doing in Spouse's mom's house?" But after that initial thought, his presence there no longer seemed to be an issue. Since he'd slipped into my bed and quickly fallen back asleep I assumed he must have had a disorienting dream and may not even realize he'd gotten into my bed. Oh well, no worries. I went back to sleep (within my dream).

Next I am awakened (within my dream) because [Blogger] has snuggled up behind me and is getting into the spoon position. (See #4.) "Um... okay", I think to myself. "[Blogger] must really be sleeping well and thinks he's in bed with his husband." I decide to let it go and do not wake him up or tell him to roll over.

But before I can fall back asleep again (within my dream) I feel that [Blogger] is getting excited, and I don't mean 'enthusiastic'. [Blogger] has become aroused and slowly begins to press his hips against me.

Record scratch...

WTF??? At 1st I attribute this action to [Blogger] being asleep and possibly dreaming. "He probably thinks he's in bed with his husband" I think to myself.

The slow and gentle pressing of his hips (and other things) increases to a full-on grind. I can hear him breathing now, and can feel my heart rate increasing. I'm getting really turned on and that is not good. "Okay, I really should wake him up now" I thought to myself, "before he wakes himself up and wonders why I didn't wake him up." But it felt so hot and sexy and naughty and good, all at the same time.

The details get a little dim at this point and I don't know exactly when I realized that [Blogger] wasn't asleep anymore. But for sure, he wasn't asleep anymore because we wound up doing the dirty. And it was good. Really good. The kind of good where you can barely keep quiet. Yeah, that kind of good.

When we finish he gets up, puts his underwear back on, and leaves the room without a word. I immediately feel guilty for the indiscretion, knowing [Blogger] and I both have husbands. In fact, the guilt of my unfaithfulness after 13+ years with Spouse seemed to fall on top of me all at once like a ton of bricks. I'm mortified and cover my face with my hands, not just within my dream, but in reality.

That's when I woke up. I woke up with my hands over my face. It was then that I realized the entire thing had been a dream, I felt an enormous sense of relief that I had not been unfaithful to Spouse. The other thing I felt was proof of just how good that dream had been!

Crazy dream, huh? So, any guesses on who [Blogger] was?

Crush du Jour: Manuel Romero

Holiday highlights

Wed night we arrived at Spouse's mom's house. As usual, it felt like an oven so Spouse and his mom got into a little tiff about the temperature inside the house. He and I are practically sweating in short-sleeve shirts while she's wearing pants, a sweater, socks and shoes, has a blanket over her, and complains of being cold. Egads. Fortunately we figured out how to keep our bedroom from being too hot: Spouse's mom closes the vent, puts a telephone book over it, and keeps the door closed. It keeps the room at a reasonable temperature for us.

Thurs we slept in until 9:00, had coffee and visited some more with Spouse's mom, then took showers and picked up my aunt Mary for lunch. She treated us to a fantastic lunch at Wildfire restaurant at the Tyson's Galleria as a belated birthday gift. Since it was my birthday I celebrated with a Stormy Night martini that was absolutely delicious. I could have had 2 or 3 of them and completely forgotten about lunch! But instead, I had parmesan crusted rockfish and mac-n-cheese; Spouse had a bacon/cheese/sour cream stuffed burger and fries; Mary had short ribs with potatoes and carrots. We also shared a side of potatoes au gratin because they sounded so good. And since the waiter overheard us talk about it being my (belated) birthday lunch, he surprised me with a small flourless chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream. Simply decadent.

After lunch we walked around the mall, which was practically empty considering it was Christmas eve day. The Galleria has a lot of high-end and designer stores at which I can't afford to shop. And since I was slightly tipsy from that martini on an almost empty stomach, I was glad for the chance to walk around and browse the stores before getting back into the car. We had a really nice afternoon with my aunt.

Later that evening we gathered at Spouse's sister's house for a Christmas eve open house and yet another birthday celebration for his mom. (Remember we celebrated her birthday 3 weeks ago on the weekend of MY birthday, but I'm not bitter. Anymore.) In addition to Spouse's siblings and nieces and nephews (I don't refer to them as kids anymore since the youngest is 12 and almost as tall as me) being there, his brother's in-laws came as did his wife's sister and her husband, and a neighbor family, and my longtime friend Kathryn and her cousin Tim. We ate, we drank, we talked, we laughed, we gave gift cards to those we wouldn't see the next day. And of course we sang 'Happy Birthday' and ate birthday cake. We returned to Spouse's mom's house shortly after 11:00 and were surprised how tired we felt, after having done nothing all day but eat.

On Christmas day we slept in again until 9:00, then had breakfast with Spouse's mom. As I've mentioned here before, I love this woman dearly but she can really wear me out with her repeating things over and over. And before you think I'm a bad son-in-law for criticising this wonderful 80-year old woman, let me just tell you that she doesn't repeat things because she doesn't remember that she's already told you. A few years ago she started repeating something she'd already told me many times so I said sweetly "Oh yeah, I remember you told me about that", to which she replied "Well I'm going to tell you again", and without missing a beat she told me the exact same story, including the exact same phrases and word combinations. Exactly the same. She knows she's already told you, but wants to say it again, and again, and again for some reason. Sigh.

After breakfast we watched a little TV. Another one of her 'charming' characteristics is narrating TV shows. As we began watching a cooking show on Food Network, she narrated it for us, as if we were blind and unable to see what she saw on the TV screen. "Ooooohhh, look, she's makin' a homemade cake! From scratch! Look at all that measurin' she had to do... flour, salt, bakin' powder... I would never do that. I just buy a box cake mix. You can't tell the difference. Mark, have you ever made a cake from scratch?" I barely got the word "No" out of my mouth when she cut me off. "I would never do that. I just buy a box cake mix. Its so much easier. You can't tell the difference, ya know?" I'm sure that sounds real cute as you read it and picture a darling little 80-year old woman saying that, but let me tell you, it gets old. Real quick.

One of Spouse's mom's more comical characteristics is when she uses similar sounding words that mean different things. Think Archie Bunker. She had me choking with laughter when she said her life at 80 years old was "twilight zone" instead of the "twilight years"! Again I tried to hold back my laughter as she listed the ingredients of ambrosia as "sour cream, fruit cocktail and mushrooms" instead of "sour cream, fruit cocktail and marshmallows"!

At 2:00 Spouse & I left to spend a little more time with my aunt Mary. We exchanged gifts with her and visited for a while at her place. It was very nice. Then she swung by Spouse's mom's house to pick her up, and the 4 of us headed over to Spouse's sister's house for Christmas dinner. We had homemade cheese ravioli, spinach and ricotta stuffed shells, homemade potato gnocchi, homemade meatballs and sausage in 'gravy' (see #7), salad, and sweet potato shuffle. Everything was delicious!! After dinner we exchanged gifts and then watched "Home for the Holidays", which received mixed reviews from the family. God, I LOVE Ann Bancroft!! For dessert we had pumpkin pie, pineapple-orange sherbet jello, and a glass of Prosecco. Do I even need to mention that Spouse's family is Italian?

On Sat Spouse & I met up with our friend Lisa (with whom we stay when we go to NYC) at her parents' house in VA for a visit. Spouse hadn't met her parents before and I knew he'd love them as I do. We had a great visit, then Lisa came with us to our friend Kelly's house where we met up with Kelly, her dad George, and her sister Kerry and her husband Hugh. Lisa's brother Pat has been best friends with Kelly since high school, and went on a trip to Ireland with Kelly, George, Kerry & Hugh, but Lisa had never met them. As I expected, everyone got along famously. We went to an old restaurant I remembered from when I was in high school and had pizza and hippy rolls. Hippy rolls are a long piece of sausage cut in 1/2 length-wise, sauteed peppers and onions, rolled in pizza dough and baked to a golden goodness. OMG, they were as delicious as I remembered! We had a terrific time and hated to say goodbye.

Spouse & I returned to his mom's house and he took a nap while I looked at email and blogs. Then we changed clothes and went to a small cocktail party at Ron & James' house. Our good buddies Mike & Clark were there too, and we had a wonderful time! James made homemade samosas and cookies and we had a new (to me) martini called a Poinsettia. It must be the new 'it' martini because I later read that Bob & Carlos had them on Christmas eve. They were so delicious! I adore champagne and just about anything made with it. The time flew by and before we knew it it was 11:00. We bid our good friends goodnight and returned to Spouse's mom's.

Sun morning Spouse's sister came over and we had coffee and left over Christmas cookies and talked until 10:30, at which time Spouse's mother declared "Let's go out to breakfast. I'll treat." I had 2 eggs over medium, grits, scrapple, whole wheat toast, and coffee. Most of the time I don't eat breakfast but this was really good. When we returned to the house we packed our bags and hit the road. Fortunately the traffic wasn't bad for us, but there was a back-up on the opposite side for several miles.

Christmas really isn't about the gifts for us, which is why there's not much mention of what we got. For us its more about being with family and friends and eating lots and lots of food. We usually give small gifts and/or gift cards for everyone so they can pick out what they want. Gift cards also allow the recipients to take advantage of after Christmas sales, so the dollars go farther. Spouse always gets (costume) jewelry for his mom, sister, and one niece just because he likes buying jewelry. But mostly Christmas is about being with loved ones and eating.

Hope your Christmas was merry and delicious!

Crush du Jour: Daniel Ashton Johnson

Celebration

What do you get when you add

plus

???

You get

That's right, dear readers, today is Tales Of The Sissy's 5th blogiversary!!!

Its true; my very 1st post was on Dec 28, 2004 where I introduced my blog. In the next post I introduced myself and Spouse.

Prior to writing my own blog I was not in the habit of reading blogs. My friend Mike had an online journal (sort of like a blog) on which I used to comment. He liked my stories and way of writing and suggested I start a blog. He introduced me to Blogger.

It was only after I'd begun writing that I started reading and commenting on other blogs. I'm truly grateful for the writers I've gotten to know (yes, you're writers!) through their blogs. Many have shared experiences that have helped me and countless others feel less alone in our situations. Blogging allows us to build a community in which we can find information, humor, support, and friendship.

So now, won't you lift a glass and help me celebrate?

Crush du Jour: Gethin Jones

Holiday eating tips

I endorse these 10 holiday eating tips whole-heartedly!!!

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Holiday spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Holiday party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it.

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Pecan. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like Pumpkin, have two apples and one Pecan. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate and wine in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Crush du Jour: Vinicus Naval

Merry Christmas!

Since Christmas means different things to different people, I thought I'd share a variety of Santas with you on Christmas day. Surely there's a Santa for everyone's taste!

Merry Christmas!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Crush du Jour: Henry Cavill

Christmas eve

Well, its Christmas eve, which I like just as much if not more than Christmas day.

We left last night so we can spend Thurs-Sun with our family and friends in VA. Today my aunt is took us to lunch to celebrate my birthday, which was 2 1/2 weeks ago. This evening the family and some friends will gather at Spouse's sister's house for food and holiday cheer. Oh, and for Spouse's mother's 2nd birthday celebration of the month.

But likely my favorite part about Christmas eve is Frank Poole's lyric, written in 1946:

Merry Christmas, Darling
Greeting cards have all been sent
The Christmas rush is through
But I still have one wish to make
A special one for you

Merry Christmas, Darling
We're apart that's true
But I can dream and in my dreams
I'm Christmasing with you

Holidays are joyful
There's always something new
But every day's a holiday
When I'm near to you

The lights on my tree
I wish you could see
I wish it every day
Logs on the fire
Fill me with desire
To see you and to say

That I wish you Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too
I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you

Logs on the fire
Fill me with desire
To see you and to say

That I wish you Merry Christmas
Happy New Year, too
I've just one wish on this Christmas Eve
I wish I were with you
I wish I were with you

Merry, merry, merry Christmas
Merry Christmas, Darling

This somewhat sad but incredibly beautiful lyric was set to music by Richard Carpenter in 1966. He and sister Karen released "Merry Christmas, Darling" in 1970. Enjoy it with me right now, won't you?

Merry Christmas, Darlings!

Crush du Jour: Craig Carpurso

Christmas party mishap

The month of Dec is the time for parties. If you're lucky, you'll get invitations to several. If you're even luckier, they'll have terrific food and booze!

This reminded me of a tender Christmas story I want to share with you readers. Let me set the stage.

It was Dec 1993 and I had just come out 5 months earlier, met the man of my dreams (or so I'd thought), and was really looking forward to our 1st Christmas together. My man (we'll call him Bob) had introduced me to a some of his friends over that summer and now we were going to a Christmas party at Gerry & Mike's house.

Bob, Gerry & Mike were all several years older than me, had solid educations and established careers, and made lots more money than me. They were always gracious so I had no real reason to feel nervous or intimidated around them, but I did. Still I wanted to go with Bob to Gerry & Mike's party so we did.

They had a large, lovely, ornament-laden tree in the living room that would put most department stores to shame. The food was catered by Dean & DeLuca's, a fancy and expensive DC gourmet food store, and there was a full bar with a bartender. Yes, a bartender. In 1993. Now, I know its been all the rage in recent years to have a hired bartender at Christmas parties hosted by gay couples, but this was 1993! I felt intimidated already.

So everything is going nicely, Bob & I are chatting with people we've met before, etc when I realize that I need to use the bathroom. Unfortunately it wasn't just #1. I try to avoid going #2 at other people's houses, especially people's houses who intimidate me, but this just wasn't to be ignored, so I excused myself under the guise of getting another drink and found my way to the bathroom.

Once inside I lowered my pants and underwear, sat, and began doing my business. I noticed that these fancy men even had small, tasteful Christmas decorations in their bathroom! Next thing I knew, I felt something warm and wet against my ankle. I looked down and saw that the back of my khaki pants was all wet, and the wetness from the fabric had spread over to my ankle. WTF??? Is the toilet leaking?

No, unfortunately, the toilet was not leaking. That explanation would have been preferable to the truth, which I had to tell Bob in order to gain his assistance when I finally returned to the party.

No, the truth was far more humiliating. As I was relieving myself my penis was not pointing down into the toilet far enough, so my pee was coming out in that space under the toilet seat but above the toilet rim. It had run down the base of the toilet and soaked into the back of my khaki pants, turning them about 14 shades darker.

Oh. My. God. I was mortified! What the hell am I gonna do? I'm here in these fancy people's bathroom, peeing all over my pants.

After the realization of what had actually happened came the truly horrifying questions. How long can I stay in here before someone knocks? How am I going to be able to leave this bathroom? How can I return to the party with the back of my pants all wet? What will all these fancy people think of me? Will this be the thing that finally reveals to Bob, once and for all, that I am not in the same league?

After several minutes of concentrated thought I cleaned myself, the base of the toilet, and then patted my wet pants with tissue to absorb as much moisture as possible. Understanding I couldn't leave the bathroom without wearing my pants, I pulled them up and fastened my belt. Then I looked into the mirror and tried to make an honest assessment of the damage.

"Hmmm... from the front there's no indication of anything unusual" I thought to myself. Then I turned around and looked over my shoulder into the mirror at the back of my pants. Not so lucky there. My mind continued racing as I considered my options, of which there was really only one. Eventually I had to walk out of that bathroom.

I turned back around to face the mirror and repeated my 1st assessment: "From the front there's no indication of anything unusual." That was the answer! Only let people see me from the front!

To bolster my confidence I began justifying my decision. "These khakis are 100% cotton. They'll dry in no time. And until they do, I'll just stand against the wall." Really, it was the only thing I could come up with.

You might be thinking 'Why didn't he pull out his cell phone, call Bob, and tell him to grab both their coats and meet him at the car?' Yeah, I'd have probably thought of that too, only it was 1993 and no one had a portable cell phone back then. The closest thing was a 'car phone' that had to be plugged into a cigarette lighter of a car with its engine running in order to work.

I took a deep breath, walked out of the bathroom, and smiled politely at the person standing in the hallway waiting to use the bathroom. I returned to the party, found Bob, and quickly motioned him to 'come over here' as I stood against the wall and tried to look 'casual'. When he came over I quickly explained what had happened and Bob tried to stifle his laughter. I gave him a look that told him it wasn't even close to being funny so shut the f*ck up.

Then he 'wanted to see'. I figured he might be more willing to help me conceal my horrible mishap if I let him see, so I stepped away from the wall slightly and did a quarter turn so my back was toward him for a second, then returned to having my back against the wall.

Needless to say, this incident did not help me feel less nervous or intimidated by our hosts. But my khakis did dry eventually and I was able to move about the party rather than try to look 'casual' by standing against the wall.

To this day, if I ever have to sit down in someone else's bathroom, you can be sure I always check to be sure I'm pointing south, if you know what I mean.

Crush du Jour: Paul Adelstein

Pouncer to the vet

Yesterday I took Pouncer to the vet because he was showing symptoms again of the bacterial infection he had back in Sept. The symptoms include wheezing when he breathes and rapid successions of sneezing. (In case you want to know more details about it, click here, here, here, and here.)
Fortunately his current symptoms aren't nearly as bad as last time. He is still eating and his activity level appears normal, which is good. Hopefully we'll get this taken care of before it has a chance to get worse.

We decided not to take him back to the same vet, even though he likely has the same issue. We felt like the care he got there was good, but extremely expensive. Two exams, blood work, fluids, antibiotic injections, sedation and a scope exam cost over $1,100. Several friends mentioned how much they like a different vet who provided good care for their pets at a more reasonable cost. So yesterday I took Pouncer to the new vet.

As soon as I walked in the door I noticed a 'low budget' feeling. The waiting area was much smaller and was provisioned with furniture that appeared to have been rescued from a doctor's office in 1979. There was a steel blue leather sofa, on which a cat slept in the sun light, and several uncomfortable wooden chairs. The paint was dingy and there was a definite smell of animals in the air. Yes, I know it was a vet's office, but the expensive vet never smelled like animals.

Pouncer hates riding in the car but the expensive vet was only 2 miles from home so it wasn't that bad. The 'low budget' vet is about 8 miles away with many traffic lights, so I had to endure Pouncer's sorrowful moans and growls all the way to the new vet. Once inside the waiting room he quieted down, but when the tech tried to get him out of is carrier he did not want to come out. He wedged his hind legs inside the carrier opening, so we wound up having to tilt it forward to 'dump' him out.

I explained to the tech and the doctor about Pouncer's bacterial infection in Sept and his response to the treatment. During his exam Pouncer moaned, growled, and hissed at them repeatedly. He was definitely NOT happy with all the poking and prodding he received. (Funny, that's my favorite part of a doctor's visit!) They came to the same conclusion that it was likely a bacterial infection in his sinus area and gave him an antibiotic injection that should work for 2 weeks.

As soon as they let him go Pouncer promptly returned to the safety of his carrier.

Although the 'low budget' vet isn't nearly as nice or fancy as the 'glamor' vet, I will continue using the 'low budget' vet because I believe the care is just as good but at a lower price. I don't need 'fancy' or 'glamorous' at the vet that much!

Soon after returning home Pouncer must have forgiven me for subjecting him to the car rides and the vet visit, because he jumped up into my lap and allowed me to pet him while he purred.

Crush du Jour: Martin Karpan