Asshole behavior, part 2

A couple years ago I shared the discovery of 5 open jars of peanut butter in our kitchen, which lead to a laughter-inducing conversation about "asshole behavior".  

You know, people who use the last of the toilet paper or paper towels but don't replace the role?  Yeah, that's asshole behavior.  Well I think its time to add some additional examples:

• not pushing your chair or stool in when you get up from the table or breakfast bar
• tossing trash in the direction of the trash can but not picking it up when you miss
• never, EVER opening mail addressed to you, but then getting upset when you miss a deadline
• opening a new deodorant/tube of toothpaste/bottle of shampoo when there is still some in the existing container
• leaving the car's gas gauge on empty when you know someone else will drive it the next day
• not using air freshener after you've used the bathroom
• trying on an item of clothing, deciding it doesn't fit right, and then tossing it into the dirty clothes hamper rather than hanging it up (which is why I only wash my own clothes now)
• waiting until company has arrived and is ready to go to bed to ask "Are there clean sheets on the guest room beds?"

When Spouse exhibits asshole behavior from time to time I will call him on it.  He looks as me with a quizzical face as if he doesn't understand, so I explain to him what he's done.  In detail.

Asshole behavior

When our friends Kerry & Hugh were visiting recently they were in the kitchen as I opened up the cabinet where we keep the peanut butter. Hugh asked "How many jars of peanut butter do you have in there?" I rolled my eyes and replied "I'm not sure; let's count them" as I pulled them off the shelves.

"One, two, three, four. We have four jars of - wait a minute! I think there's one in the fridge, too." Sure enough, I produced yet another jar of peanut butter from the door of the refrigerator.

"It appears we have 5 jars of peanut butter, all of which have been opened." I confirmed.

As the laughter subsided, Kerry asked if they were different varieties, like chunky and creamy.
I confirmed all 5 were creamy.

Anticipating their next question, I cut them off at the pass: "No, I don't know why we have 5 opened jars of peanut butter. Its really bordering on asshole behavior, isn't it?"

"Asshole behavior... what's that?" Kerry asked with a chuckle.

"Asshole behavior is the actions or behavior that would commonly be associated with someone considered to be an asshole" I defined, to even more laughter. "Wouldn't you agree that opening a new jar while the previous jar still has peanut butter in it could be a mistake once, but that doing it 4 times is dangerously close to asshole behavior?"

We laughed more and more as all 3 of us got into it by coming up with additional evidences of asshole behavior:

• Using the last of the toilet paper and/or paper towels and not replacing the roll
• Putting an empty container back into the fridge
• Pulling a bunch of stuff out of a closet or cabinet while searching for an item, and not putting the stuff back
• Going for a walk with someone and not stopping when they say "I need to tie my shoe"
• Leaving the isle with the grocery cart while someone is reading a label/making a selection
• Filling the sink instead of the dishwasher with dirty dishes
• Not answering when someone asks you a question

Can you add anything to the list of asshole behaviors?

Totally unrelated side point #1: Today is Feb 11 and it is currently warmer outdoors than it is inside our house.

Totally unrelated side point #2: This week's weigh-in was heartening, as I lost the 2 lbs I gained last week from eating all those french fries. So now I am back to where I was 2 weeks ago.

Crush du Jour: Rob McElhenney