"One, two, three, four. We have four jars of - wait a minute! I think there's one in the fridge, too." Sure enough, I produced yet another jar of peanut butter from the door of the refrigerator.
"It appears we have 5 jars of peanut butter, all of which have been opened." I confirmed.
As the laughter subsided, Kerry asked if they were different varieties, like chunky and creamy.
I confirmed all 5 were creamy.
Anticipating their next question, I cut them off at the pass: "No, I don't know why we have 5 opened jars of peanut butter. Its really bordering on asshole behavior, isn't it?"
"Asshole behavior... what's that?" Kerry asked with a chuckle.
"Asshole behavior is the actions or behavior that would commonly be associated with someone considered to be an asshole" I defined, to even more laughter. "Wouldn't you agree that opening a new jar while the previous jar still has peanut butter in it could be a mistake once, but that doing it 4 times is dangerously close to asshole behavior?"
We laughed more and more as all 3 of us got into it by coming up with additional evidences of asshole behavior:
- Using the last of the toilet paper and/or paper towels and not replacing the roll
- Putting an empty container back into the fridge
- Pulling a bunch of stuff out of a closet or cabinet while searching for an item, and not putting the stuff back
- Going for a walk with someone and not stopping when they say "I need to tie my shoe"
- Leaving the isle with the grocery cart while someone is reading a label/making a selection
- Filling the sink instead of the dishwasher with dirty dishes
- Not answering when someone asks you a question
Can you add anything to the list of asshole behaviors?Totally unrelated side point #1: Today is Feb 11 and it is currently warmer outdoors than it is inside our house.
Totally unrelated side point #2: This week's weigh-in was heartening, as I lost the 2 lbs I gained last week from eating all those french fries. So now I am back to where I was 2 weeks ago.
Crush du Jour: Rob McElhenney