Thursday, February 18, 2010

While in Richmond

The dinner on Tues evening with my boss' new boss and 2 of my colleagues went rather well. Fortunately we were not asked those annoying questions like "What motivates you?" and "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" However, we were given fair warning that we would be asked at some point about our "aspiration". Good lord...

My boss' new boss told us a bit about himself, his family, and his professional life since we'd never met him before. He made quick work of letting us know how he 'operates', which is a good thing, because even if you don't like how he 'operates', at least its not a secret. After the dinner I wasn't able to meet up with Kelly, as he'd gotten home late from work and was having trouble with a leaking dishwasher. But we'll have another opportunity to meet up next month when I return to Richmond.

Wed afternoon my 2 colleagues and I met with our boss' new boss and talked about some of his ideas for changing our structure, duties, and compensation. It was kind of a lot to take in at once so I didn't have a lot of questions for him when he asked 'what we wanted to know'. Just as I expected, as a new boss he wants to come in and change things because his ideas are obviously better than those of the people who set things up to begin with. We were told that if we thought he was off-base we should say so, but who wants to risk that with someone 2 levels above you that you've just met? Looks like I will be getting more clients to manage and more pressure to make or exceed sales goals. I'm not exactly "happy" about that since my position has never been about making or exceeding sales goals, being that I am not a sales person. But as is with most corporate situations, I see my choices are to complain, adapt or leave. Complaining rarely works out well in the long run and leaving is not an option in this economy, so it looks like I'm going with 'adapt'.

Something amusing (at least to me) happened during my visit to headquarters in Richmond. Apparently some ingredient in the sandwich I'd eaten for lunch didn't quite agree with me. After the last presentation I was hoping for a bathroom break before we discussed anything else, but that didn't happen. So there I am, sitting in this conference room with my 2 colleagues, my boss' new boss, the CEO and the CFO of the company, and 2 other upper management folks, and my stomach starts churning. Hard. No one could hear it, but I sure could feel it.

After several more minutes I became afraid that I may be in danger of exploding in my pants if I didn't get some relief. I wanted to whisper to my boss' new boss that I needed to use the restroom and would be right back, but it was at that point that the CEO was enlightening us with his wealth of knowledge. I really, REALLY didn't think it wise to walk out of the room while the CEO was talking, so I clenched my cheeks and prayed to the sweet baby Jesus in heaven above to help me hang on. Finally, the meeting ended and I made a bee-line to the nearest restroom.

So I'm in the stall having accomplished the urgent purpose for being there, but wasn't quite sure if I was finished or not, so I sat quietly and waited for internal confirmation. Then I hear the restroom door open, a man take a leak in the urinal, wash his hands, and then as he leaves the bathroom, he switches off the light! Presumably he didn't know I was in the stall so he turned out the light to save electricity, leaving me in pitch black! I was able to find the toilet paper in the dark, since it is strategically placed on the wall next to where I was sitting.

Once I'd gotten my pants up I exited the stall and turned the light back on, but before I could make it back into the stall to adjust my clothes, someone else walked in. So there I was, standing in the middle of the bathroom with my belt undone and shirt tail hanging out. Awkward! I couldn't think of anything witty to say so I said nothing. I just tucked in my shirt, fastened my belt, and washed my hands while the guy took a leak.

Crush du Jour: Lucas Gil

12 comments:

A Lewis said...

How do you spell "Relief"? R-O-L-A-I-D-S

behrmark said...

What IS it with you and restroom adventures? You have me ROFLMFAO. Love you, love your blog. Behr Hugs!! :)

Mark said...

Sorry to hear about having to adapt to changes at work. That sucks big time. The digestive problem story was hilarious. I'm sure we can all relate. Hope you are feeling better.

Larry Ohio said...

OMG! Mark, what the hell is wrong with you? Are some kind of magnet for weirdness?

The same thing happened to me twice in my life. The first time it happened my asshole buddy did it to me on purpose, so I did as you and just finished my business in the dark. The second time it happened was at work and I shouted, "Hey!" and the guy came back to turn the light on. I'm willing to bet you'll speak up the next time it happens to you.

truthspew said...

I've had the lights out thing happen to me. I've just shouted "Oh! What the fuck!"

Withing seconds the light snaps back on.

robertga99 said...

lmao
OMG, that is too funny
thanks for sharing it made my night. I had to go bad one night at work and I usually wont do it at the office...but I HAD to. I yelled to my coworker that I was going to the bathroom and told her if she left to not set the alarm. A couple of minutes in and I hear the beeping sound of her hitting the alarm code. I yelled out I was still there but she didn't here me. You should have seen me coming out of the bathroom trying to dodge the motion detectors...lol

Sorry about having to adapt...Employers have us by the balls...it's too hard to find a new job so we really have to hang onto the one we have until the job market picks up

Tai said...

What a funny story you got there. I was sometimes in similar situation LOL
Hope you well adapt to the change :D

Bob said...

You and btahrooms aren't a good mix.
But I feel your pain!

Anonymous said...

Kinda off the thread, but next time you go to Richmond, go for dinner at Mamma Zu's. My in-laws live in RIC and I can say that hands down this is the best place I have eatten while there. Itis kinda casual, but amazing and you will be pegged for one in the know of local lore.

Maurice said...

Oh Mark... I've been reading/lurking your blog for many months but never commented before today.

I'm sorry to hear about how you need to adapt at work, but what struck me about the ENTIRE paragraph in which you describe your Wednesday afternoon is how I could copy and paste it nearly to the word to describe my own experience at my job in the last little while. It is so close, in fact, that I actually had to step away from the computer and walk around the apartment once or twice to ponder the conclusion you reached, which I reached yesterday with a colleague: complain, adapt or leave. And "adapt" is the only viable option, sadly.

Stephen said...

Mark...
up to your old public bathroom shenanigans again, I see! & the lights off alabai!

tornwordo said...

That's pretty funny... about the light, not the rectal emergency. I would have barked if someone had done that to me. "Hey!"