Thursday, June 18, 2009

Party hearty

I found this article to be quite interesting.

The owner of the Chicago gay bar Cocktail prohibits bacherlorette parties in this club. He says that although this causes him to lose money, he feels its important enough not to have these soon-to-be-brides flaunting their upcoming nuptials in the faces of his patrons who can not marry.

I give him credit for risking a financial loss for the sake of his principles, something most businesses can't afford to do these days.

Down the block from Cocktail is Circuit, a gay bar that not only welcomes bachelorettes, it goes out of the way to actually advertise its Sat night go-go boy show to bachelorette parties. Circuit's owner says banning bachelorette parties doesn't accomplish Cocktail's purpose of educating heteros about gay's inability to marry, so he welcomes the brides-to-be. Personally, I don't like this because it seems like a 'sell out' to the heteros, and also because I find it annoying when bachelorette parties invade my space.

Then, perhaps somewhere in the middle of these, is Washington DC's Town Danceboutique. When bachelorette partiers enter Town they are asked to sign a petition in support of gay marriage, which Owner Ed Bailey sends to the customer's representative in Congress. Bailey claims he's never had anyone refuse to sign.

Now, that's pretty clever!

But as a gay man, I get really annoyed by drunken hetero females hanging out in gay clubs. Yeah, gay clubs may have the best music, the best drag shows, and provide females with a place to 'let loose' without fear of being groped by hetero men, but that is NOT their purpose. Their purpose is to provide a safe and fun place for gays to hang out and be entertained, without fear of being bashed by heteros.

I have nothing against heteros (hell, my parents are heteros!) but sometimes its just nice to hang out with folks 'like me'.

Which of the three approaches above makes the most sense to you?

Crush du Jour: Szabi


Steven said...

I know I'll be patronizing Cocktails much more often than Circuit now that you have brought this to light. We're going to be stationed almost across the street from Cocktails during the Pride parade next weekend. :-)

mistress maddie said...

I think I like Town's approach the best. If they are going to utilize our club we may as well get a free benfit from it. I don't really have much thought on the subject. I have had some good times in Reboboth at the Purple Parot with some bachelorette parties, but other times I like just us gays in a club together. I guess it depends what mood I'm in.

Kailyn said...

This is kind of interesting to me since, of course, I'm a woman who has been known to frequent gay clubs with her guy friends. In fact at one point in my life, I would say it was every weekend. Because at the time in my life, I liked to go out but needed to do so in a place in which I could feel safe due to various events in my life. Thankfully my friends were understanding.

Frankly, I think that many people find bachelorette parties to be annoying whether they be in a gay or straight or whatever club.

Also, as I read this, I thought about folks in my community. Not sure if you're going to win them over to your side of the argument necessarily with this. Because if the GLBT community could win over people of color, then equality could be a reality.

Anonymous said...

I have been dragged to many bachelorette parties, as the token. I get kind of annoyed by them now. I don't celebrate or acknowledge marriages anymore. I don't really talk about it, I just don't do anything, Except for Mom and Dad.

Bob said...

I like the place in DC.
Seems like the best of both worlds, although why don't these bachelorettes go to a straight strip club?

Howard said...

Szabi is beautiful.

Kailyn said...

Gallus' comment just makes me think, "What a pity." Who do you think votes against gay marriage? Perhaps some of those folks attending those weddings that you don't acknowledge. And here was the perfect opportunity to convince those fence sitters to see things your way. Oh. But that might mean discomfort for you.

Sorry but my parents grew up in the segregated South. Now I think I understand why some of my family members take offense when people try to compare the gay movement with the civil rights movement of the 50s and 60s. If you want to make that claim, then you have to be willing to put yourself in situations that just might make you uncomfortable. I know I have. I've held my head up while others said that I didn't deserve to be where I was, I wasn't smart enough, I was only there because I was Black.

And here's another thing that my parents taught me. The Civil Rights Act happened out of inclusion, not exclusion. Blacks realized that in order to win the fight, they had to let others help. And not only did they let them, they welcomed them.

And yes, I was outraged when Proposition 8 passed but the bottom line is that someone dropped the ball somewhere in terms of community outreach. I know that I had the conversation with everyone that I could.

I say all of this out of caring. I want you to get what you want. But this stuff? Just not going to get you to that point.

wcs said...

I was all prepared to leave a thoughtful and well-reasoned comment.

Then I noticed the crush du jour, and wooof! I'll take two, please.