Our 3rd date

Friday I arrived at the Mexican restaurant at 5:30 and waited for Very Handsome Guy in my car so we could go in together.

5:45 and no VHG. 6:00 and no VHG. Despite all reasoning to the contrary, my fragile ego again began constructing several valid reasons why he was standing me up. This time I told myself to stop it. ‘There’s probably a logical explanation' I told myself. 'I’ll wait until 6:15 and if he’s not arrived, I’ll call to see if he’s left a message on my answering machine at home’. (This was before the prevalence of cell phones.)

Finally at 6:10 he sped into the parking lot, hopped out of his car, and ran over to mine to apologize. A client had gone into crisis so he had to stay with them until the person could be hospitalized. He knew I was waiting but had no way to reach me. He had called the restaurant but was told no one matching my description was in the restaurant, because I was in my car. We chuckled about it and went inside the restaurant.

Dinner started off as expected, but I was soon dumbfounded by the strange coincidence that next followed. A couple was seated on the other side of the partition and as I heard them chatting I realized it was my childhood best friend and his wife – both of whom are Jehovah's Witnesses who are taught to shun people like me who leave the JW faith.

How could I be comfortable on a date with them so nearby? Its not like they were random people I used to know from the church. It was my childhood best friend!

The restaurant wasn't busy so our food arrived soon. As we were finishing I reminded VHG that I had promised to show him where I lived. I hoped this reminder would keep us from lingering over dinner, increasing the chances that my former best friend would discover me on a date with a man on the other side of the partition. Not that I really cared what he thought of me anymore, but I didn't really want to provide gossip fodder if I could help it. Plus, our 3rd date hardly seemed the time to explain the whole ‘ex-JW thing’ to VHG. So, we paid the bill and left.

VHG followed me back to my place, and I showed him around the condo. He was impressed because I had a color TV and cable! (It was 1996, and his social worker/therapist job meant he had a hand-me-down black and white TV and no cable.) We sat together on the sofa and talked for a while, and I resumed the ‘interview questions’. Since VHG was a therapist I suppose he figured out I was interviewing him because I really wanted to get it right this time, and he played along like a good sport.

Having finally exhausted my 'interview' questions and feeling closer to VHG by the minute, I decided to tell him that I left the JW religion 3 years earlier, and that my family and former friends who are JWs no longer had any contact with me. I also told him about my childhood best friend and his wife in the booth on the other side of the partition, and VHG was very understanding.

Then he asked what I was doing over the weekend. I told him I didn’t have anything particular planned so he asked if I’d like to get together for dinner on Saturday evening, and then meet some of his friends for coffee afterward.

Meet some of his friends. It was really flattering to be invited on 4 dates within 6 days, and it gave us lots of time to talk and get to know each other. But somehow this “meet some of my friends” invitation seemed a little intimidating to me. But of course I agreed to it.

Tomorrow: Meeting his friends

Crush du Jour: Paul Telfer