Our 1st date

The next morning after showering and having breakfast I called Very Handsome Guy. We talked for a 1/2 hour or so and then he invited me to meet him for coffee that afternoon. I accepted and had a permanent smile plastered on my face as I unpacked my boxes of stuff… the stuff I had just moved out of my former partner’s house… 2 days ago.

‘Am I on the rebound?’ I asked myself. ‘What happened to my plans to date and go to parties and hang out with other single gay guys?’ I didn't have answers to these questions, and it didn't seem to matter to me. I’d just accepted a coffee date with Very Handsome Guy, a guy with whom I really connected, and I was going on that date. I’d just have to figure out the answers to those questions some other time.

It was very cool and rainy when I arrived at SoHo Coffee House, on time. Since Very Handsome Guy wasn’t there yet, I sat at one of the few small tables in the tiny place and waited. Several minutes passed and my fragile ego began fabricating multiple reasons (all my fault) why he had thought better of it and was standing me up. But a few minutes later I saw him through the large window, running up the sidewalk in the rain. When he came inside he apologized for being late. He couldn't find a parking spot, which is typical in the city. We went to the counter where I got a large cup of coffee and he ordered a hot cup of tea.

We returned to our table and I started the conversation by asking him what a therapist and social worker does for the County. He tried to explain what he did and the context into which his duties fit, but I was distracted by his sweating profusely. He kept wiping his forehead and face with his napkin until he finally had to excuse himself and go to the restroom.

I interpreted this behavior as acute nervousness. I thought that he was just really, really nervous about this coffee date, now that we were no longer under the cover of the dim club lighting or the alcohol. But later I came to find out that he had gotten heated up from running several blocks in the chilly rain, then came inside the heated cafe, and was sipping a steaming hot cup of tea. He just couldn’t cool down! So when he went to the restroom it was to splash cool water on his face and neck. I still prefer my romantic interpretation over the factual one.

After finishing our drinks and talking for over an hour he suggested it was dinnertime and asked if I’d like to have dinner with him. I readily agreed and since the rain had let up, we walked a few blocks to the Dupont Italian Kitchen and were seated at a table for two by the window. I wonder if any of the passers-by saw the two of us, knew we were on our first date, and smiled. How could they not? Our food was tasty, the conversation felt easy, and the atmosphere was cozy. He introduced me to tiramisu.

After dinner we walked to his car since it was closest, and he drove me to where my car was parked. We both said that we’d had a nice time, and I began to wonder if there was some sort of gay etiquette that dictated which of us should suggest getting together again. In straight dating it is understood that the man suggests the desire for another date, but what about in gay dating? Fortunately I didn’t have to wonder for long.

“Do you want to get together again, later in the week?” he asked.

“Sure.” I replied, hoping I didn’t sound too excited or desperate.

“How about Wednesday?” he suggested. I was a little surprised, since it was already Monday night. I thought he was going to suggest Friday night, but was happy he appeared to like me as much as I thought I liked him.

“Wednesday works for me” I replied.

“Since you like ethnic food, do you want to go to this Vietnamese place near me called Café Dalat?” he asked.

“Sounds great. I've never tried Vietnamese.”

“Okay. Why don’t you call me when you get home from work tomorrow and I’ll give you directions to my place, and we go together from there?” he suggested.

"Will do."

With no more words to say, we looked into each other's eyes for a moment, then leaned across the center console of his car and kissed for the 1st time. I felt as though I'd been reborn.

Tomorrow: our 2nd date.

Crush du Jour: Campbell Brown