Tuesday, April 29, 2008

They walk among us

A friend sent me this and I thought it was pretty funny. Enjoy!

The Walk Among Us

I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charges. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I gave her the money back same scenario! I departed the store with the $46.64.

I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Grande Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one- get-one-free, ' she said, 'so I guess they're both free'. She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where?'

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the North?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern or Pacific time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, Pacific.'

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. When I asked her where it was, thinking it was in the center console or the glove box, she said she keeps it in the trunk!

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount. When we tried to tell her that she was wrong, she said “you college kids always think you are smarter than us working class. Take your change and get out of the here!”

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'

Yep, they walk among us, they reproduce, and worst of all... THEY VOTE!

Crush du Jour: Brandon Karrer

3 comments:

RAD Homo said...

isnt it a damm shame? Pet peave of mine when someone cant give out change--When I give a penny to someone and watch them flip out on giving change back....so sad!

RAD Homo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Joy said...

All those years of teaching made me realize how true this is. Sad, sad, sad.