And the study says...

Hi. Its Thurs and Spouse & I are on our way to NYC! But I prepared this post ahead of time for you. I hope you enjoy it.

I thought this article was interesting! Let's hope this study finds its way to receptive legislative ears.

Study: Gays important resource in reducing children in state care

A study released Thursday by a non-partisan adoption group says that states need to tap into the gay and lesbian community to reduce the number of children up for adoption.

There are about 129,000 children waiting to be adopted, the New York-based Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute said in the report.

Many of these children are older and have special physical, mental health, and developmental challenges.

“[They] face gloomy prospects of succeeding in life without adoptive parents who can provide them with affection, nurture, support, and guidance,” the report said, noting that research shows that the 25,000 youths who “age out” of foster care each year are at high risk for a host of negative outcomes, including poverty, homelessness, incarceration and early parenthood.

The Institute study said that the pool of prospective adoptive parents must be increased and recommends that state laws and agency practices must be revised to become more welcoming of gay and lesbian applicants.

A number of states have banned same-sex marriage and several are moving to bar gay couples from adopting. Florida denies the right to adopt to all gays, whether in a relationship or not.

“State laws should serve children’s best interests by permitting joint and second-parent adoptions, and all states should give “full faith and credit” to adoptions legally completed in other states, without regard to the marital status or sexual orientation of the adoptive parents,” the report said.

It also recommends that qualifications, not sexual orientation, should be the guiding principle in finding homes for adoptive children.

“Agencies should assess their policies and practices to ensure that they are welcoming - in recruitment, training and post-placement services - for all qualified family resources who want to provide homes for children in foster care, including gay/lesbian individuals and couples,” the report said.

It cited a number of studies that found gay and lesbian adults are “very willing to adopt children with special needs and, as a demographic group, may be more willing to do so than heterosexual adults.”

The study further notes that data show that gay and lesbian adults provide a significant number of families for children who need foster or adoptive homes.

“Researchers estimate over 14,000 children live in lesbian- or gay-led foster families today, while at least 4 percent of all adopted children in the U.S. - about 65,000 - are being raised by gay and lesbian parents.” the institute said, citing earlier studies by the Urban Institute and the Williams Institute.

The institute said that although there is currently little research on the long-term outcomes for children adopted by gays or lesbians studies on children dating back 25 years conclude that children raised by gay and lesbian non-adoptive parents fare as well as those reared by heterosexual parents.

Crush du Jour: Johnny Hazzard

Perfect timing

Last week I ordered Jesse's book "You Can Run: Gay, Glam, and Gritty Travels in South America", hoping it would arrive before our NYC trip so that:

1. I would have something fun/interesting to read on the bus
2. I could tell Jesse how much I loved it when I see him

However, when I checked the mailbox today, it still hadn't arrived. Bummer. So I was thinking that I should probably make a quick stop for a magazine or two this evening when I go to the ATM for cash for the trip.

But then as I was rifling through the mail, almost like magic I found:

1. the latest issue of Advocate
2. the catalog for the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival

both of which made me very happy. Perfect timing! Spouse & I can both catch up on the latest and greatest of the gay, and I can read through descriptions of the films being shown at this year's festival.

What constitutes and independent film you ask?

While Hollywood films are created to make money, indie films are created to tell stories. While Hollywood films typically have big budgets and must fit into the MPAA's rating system (G, PG, PG-13, R, NC-17, X), indie films usually have little-to-no budget and are unrated. While Hollywood films usually fit into comedy, drama, or action categories, indie films are typically difficult to fit into a specific genre because their stories often tackle unusual and taboo subjects.

I have been a lover of indie films for years. I get lots of indie films from Netflix, and have made a point to take off days from work to see and review the films at the RB Indie Film Festival. You can read my reviews from 2005, 2006, and 2007 here, here, here, here, and here if you're interested. Add the films you like to YOUR Netflix queue.

Crush du Jour: Stephen Dorff

Tuesday's whining

Sorry if my posts this week are a little weak. Its not a lack of interest, its a lack of time.

Since we're leaving for NYC on Thurs, this will be a short work-week for me. I was hoping work would be slow-to-moderate so I could get all my trip stuff done (mapping out destinations, addresses, phone numbers, etc) and put together some good posts.

But work has been very busy so far this week, and I have barely had time to post anything, much less be worried about its entertainment quotient. I'm also several days behind in reading your blogs, too. Plus I will have to spend lots of time updating all my colleagues tomorrow so I can have a decent time being "off", without my clients suffering. Sometimes I think my colleagues do better when I'm off for an entire week than they do when I'm off for a day or two.

On top of that, I got an email from the company that's supposed to deliver our new mattress that they wanted to deliver on Fri. Of course! Since I work from home its never a problem to have deliveries and service appointments at the convenience of the company. I'm always home during the day. Except this coming Fri. So I called them, and rescheduled for the 'next available day' which will be next Wed.

So I booked our tickets on BoltBus, confirmed my NYC blogger meet-n-greet, and am now in the process of putting together a list of all the places and things we "must see" while in NYC. Our friend Rick has sent me like 12 places we "must see" on our trip. We really appreciate his wanting us to have a rockin' good time. Really, we do! But Dude! There's only so many hours in a day! So I have reclassified his list from "must see" to "try to see". I mean, its not like NYC is going anywhere. We can come back again (especially with $14. round trip fares on BoltBus) and see the stuff we didn't get to on this trip.

To be honest, I am more than a little excited about this blogger meet-n-greet. I invited David Dust, YOU, j*0*e, Jesse, and Silly Billy to meet me and Spouse at a local watering hole. Unfortunately j*o*e and Silly Billy can't make it, but I am really looking forward to meeting the other 3 bloggers. If there are any photos taken that are suitable for posting, you'll see 'em here (pending blogger approval, of course).

That's it for today, boys and girls. As you were.

Crush du Jour: Bryan Batt

Change of plan

As I mentioned on Fri, Spouse & I are pretty excited about our upcoming trip to NYC. In addition to seeing lots of sights, Broadway shows, and NYC bloggers, we'll be staying with my childhood-to-adult friend, Lisa. Her family lived a few streets over from mine, and we went through elementary, junior high, and high school together. Lisa and I were always friends throughout school, and have maintained our friendship since. Last Christmas she & Spouse finally met and both liked each other a lot, which makes me happy.

So Spouse & I were all set to take the train, Amtrak, to NYC. I really don't mind driving, but you never know if you'll be able to find a place to park your car without paying an arm and a leg, or if you'll have to get up and move it to the opposite side of the street or something. You don't need a car in NYC, so we figured we'd take the train. We took it to NYC 4 years ago to get on a cruise ship that departed from NYC, and it was so nice and easy. Of course, that's when we lived 15 minutes from the DC train station. Now we are about 90 minutes from the closest train station. Still, the train beats flying and driving/parking.


But then, last Fri a friend told me about BoltBus. I'd never heard of it, but found from their website that they make multiple trips daily between DC, Philly, NYC, and Boston, and are extremely affordable.
To catch the train we'd have to drive 90 minutes to Wilmington and then ride the rails to NYC, for about $90. each round trip. On BoltBus, we'll have to drive about 90 minutes to Philly and then ride in the roomy bus (with electrical outlets and wifi internet for your portable DVD player and laptop) for about $15. each round trip. And it takes just about the same amount of time to get there, and drops you off at practically the same location as the train.

Needless to say, being the extreme bargain hunters we are, Spouse & I were quite pleased with this and have made a change in plan to take BoltBus. And speaking of bargains, we opted not to buy full price for our theatre tickets by purchasing them in advance. Instead we will visit TKTS the day of and get 1/2 price tickets to the shows we want to see, since they've both been out for a while. If we can't get them, we'll get tickets to see something else. I mean, hey! Its Broadway, right? Every show is good.

Crush du Jour: Nigel Paschini

Friday fragments

Wed night a cold front blew into town, and yesterday it really seemed like fall. Not just the cooler temps, but even the smell of the air seemed like fall. Yesterday our high temp was only 63, which seems ironic since it doesn't look like fall at all. It is still very green here in southern Sussex county, DE. Although the imminent arrival of fall means the end of our Sun afternoons spent at the beach, it also means the nearness of many fun and enjoyable things like Halloween, the Rehoboth Beach indy film festival, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.

Did you know that Oct is GLBT history month? I didn't, until I saw this article. Reading through the efforts made, both big and small, reminded me that lots and lots of people have contributed to the progress that's been made so far for GLBT equality.
Kevin summed up the frustration I sometimes feel about the apparent apathy among many in the GLBT community with this quote on his blog:
"Gay men will wait for two days outside of a record store in the rain to hear Madonna sing a few songs, but can’t be bothered to pay their respects to the people who’s actions 34 years ago allow them to dance together in clubs to her music today."
This is obviously a generalization, but I believe we all get the point. So don't be one of "those" gays. Read this article, visit this site, remember (or learn) your GLBT history, and consider how you can make a little GLBT history yourself!

Even those of us who don't live in CA are hearing more and more about Proposition 8.

Ellen talked to Jay Leno about Prop 8 and I was encouraged to hear Jay's logical response to the "gay marriage" issue. He echoed what Barney Frank and others have been saying for years: how does gay people getting married pose any 'threat' or have any effect on my marriage? Good for Jay!

I know I imposed a moratorium on presidential politics on this blog until after the election, but I just have to share this: Biden and Palin clarify their stands on gay marriage. Did you see this last night? Just in case you're not as sick as me over this, I will remove the semantics and rhetoric for you: NEITHER OF THE PRESIDENTIAL OR VP CANDIDATES SUPPORTS FULL MARRIAGE EQUALITY. Its high time we write some letters, send some emails, and make some calls to ALL of our elected officials, boys and girls.

I'm super-excited that tomorrow Spouse & I are going to the Fall Auto Auction and Sale in Carlisle, PA (hometown of DavidDust). We went to the Spring event in April, and despite the traffic, road work, and problem with the directions, we had a really good time. I am a huge Cadillac fan, and am hoping to find something like this:

Or this:
I'm also super-excited about our upcoming trip to NYC next week! On Thurs the 9th we're driving 2 hours to the train station in Wilmington, then taking the train another 2 hours to arrive at Penn Station. We're returning home on Sun the 12th.

What will we be doing in NYC? I'm glad you asked! Our tentative agenda includes seeing "Gypsy" and "Wicked", visiting Central Park, taking one of those Gray Line sightseeing bus tours, a NYC blogger 'meet-n-greet', and plenty of unaccounted for time for exploring. Spouse & I prefer not to have a schedule, because schedules often make a trip feel too regimented for us. We prefer a loose agenda that allows for taking advantage of the unexpected. It should be a blast!

Crush du Jour: Zachary Levi

Sitcom or Reality?

Let's play a fun little game called "Sitcom or Reality?" Here's how it works: I'll describe a situation and you tell me whether its a plot from a sitcom or the reality of my life.

Ready? Here we go.

'Mike' and 'John (not their real names) finally decide to enter the 21st century by replacing their 20-year old, boxy 19" TV with a big, sleek hi-def flat screen.

Actually, the boxy 19" is being replaced with their existing boxy, extremely heavy 32", which is currently in their 3rd floor family room. The sleek, new flat screen will replace the 32" extremely heavy TV in their 3rd floor family room.

Being the 'organizer' that he is, Mike tells John they must first move the 19" boxy TV from the TV stand onto the floor of their main level TV room so they'll have a place to put the boxy, extremely heavy 32" that's coming downstairs from the 3rd floor.

With me so far?

So they move the 19" onto the floor, then go up the 2 flights of stairs to the 3rd floor to get the boxy, extremely heavy 32". Okay, here's where the funny part begins. When they go to move the boxy, extremely heavy 32" they realize it is WAY too heavy pick up!!! (Insert uproarious laughter here.)
As John begins cursing, Mike tries to think of a solution. Too bad they didn't buy those shoulder strap thingies as seen on TV when they saw them. But Mike had figured they'd never use them. When would he or John ever need to haul a refrigerator or a heavy TV? Oh, that's right. They've done BOTH within the last 2 years!
John suggests it would be easier to remove the window screen and shove the boxy, extremely heavy 32" out the 3rd floor window and buy another TV for that room.

But then, Mike thinks he's got the solution! He remembers that when they had to move those 2 (yes, 2) refrigerators they'd bought a hand truck, which really helped a lot. Since Mike had worked in a warehouse a thousand years ago he as all too familiar with how to use a hand truck. So Mike and John go down both flights of stairs to the storage closet to get the hand truck.

Okay, here's where its about to get really hilarious again... When Mike finally wrestles the hand truck out of the storage closet, he finds one of the tires is flat!!! (Insert gut-wrenching laughter here.)

John becomes just as deflated as the tire, while Mike scratches his chin (not really, but that phrase conveys a thoughtful attitude) while trying to think of a 'Plan C'.

"We can still use the hand truck, even though one of the tires is flat and the other is very low." Once again drawing on his past hand truck experience, Mike continues "It will be harder to roll, but it will be easier than trying to carry that monster." Just like the Hardy Boys, they nod in agreement and carry the hand truck back up the two flights of stairs.

They slide the behemoth off the TV stand and onto the hand truck, then pad it with a blanket to protect the screen. Mike pushes down on the hand truck while John lifts from the underside to get the weight onto the (flat) tires.

Okay, here comes another crazy-funny part... Before they can even start to move the awkward TV, the hand truck's (flat) tires get caught up in a scatter rug!!! (Insert boisterous belly laughs now!)

This time it is Mike that begins cursing, since it was John's idea to buy that stupid little scatter rug (that Mike felt didn't match) in the first place. They struggle for what feels like hours to free the (flat) hand truck tire from the rug. "Finally!" Mike exclaims.

The duo gets the unstable TV across the room to the top of the stairs. Mike says that he'll continue 'driving' the hand truck, what with all his hand truck experience and what not, and suggests that John go down the stairs backwards in front of the TV to stabilize it. John looks at Mike with a 'hello, NO!' look on his face, but realizes he is sorely lacking in hand truck experience, so he silently concedes.

They begin the decent down the stairs, slowly, one at a time, and are a little relieved that it is going well so far. Mike decides to bolster John's confidence by making occasional encouraging remarks, such as "That's it... you're doin' great."

John responds with a not-so-encouraging "Shut up." They continue their decent, slowly, one stair at a time. When they get to the bottom Mike can't help himself, and exclaims "That was great! We're half way there!" John groans.

Another throw rug is kicked from the hallway into a bedroom to prevent the hand truck from becoming ensnared again. They glide down the hallway, turn the corner, and stop at the top of the second stair case they must navigate.

"Its not going to fit", John says in his ever-so-charming 'glass-is-half-empty' way.

"Its got to fit", Mike responds. "This stair case is the same size as the one above it that we just came down." But as they began their decent onto the top stair, it becomes evident that somehow John was right, and they are going to have to pull the hand truck back up onto the landing.

"We're gonna have to put it on a blanket and slide it down the stairs", John laments.

"WHAT??? Slide it down the stairs???", Mike asks incredulously. "Don't you think that would be kind of like sliding a gigantic boulder down the stairs?" There's silence for a few seconds until Mike comes up with 'Plan D'.

"Let's turn it around a quarter turn, so its longer than it is wide. It will fit down the stairs if we do that" he says confidently. "But you're going to have to hold the side so it doesn't tip over, because its going to be much heavier on one side than the other." John grumbles but agrees to try it.

Okay, prepare for another hysterical part here... After turning the TV a quarter turn on the hand truck, Mike is unable to push the handle down because he's backed up against a bookcase - the very bookcase that John never wanted put in the landing to begin with!!! (Insert wild guffaws here.)

So, after sliding the bookcase out of his way, Mike gets the weight of the TV back onto the hand truck and he and John begin their decent down the second stair case, slowly, one step at a time. This time Mike resists the urge to utter encouraging comments until they get to the last step.

"Only one more step and then we swing 'er around to the left" he says. And just as the hand truck drops from the last step onto the floor, the TV starts twisting. Mike's eyes become as big as saucers as he realizes there's nothing he can do. He can't reach the TV because he's still up on the stairs, behind the hand truck.

Fortunately, John scrambles and practically slaps the TV to keep it from tumbling off the hand truck, onto the floor.

"We're done with the stairs. Now let's slide this thing into the TV room on the blanket", John recommends. So they roll the hideously heavy TV onto the blanket and scoot it across the wood floors, careful not to scratch them. Once in the TV room, they muster up super-human strength, just like the Incredible Hulk, to hoist the TV up onto the TV stand.

By this time both mens' clothes were several shades darker and practically dripping with sweat. But they weren't done yet! They still had the sleek, new 52" flat screen to haul up two flights of stairs. Fortunately, it was a mere fraction of the weight of the boxy, extremely heavy 32" foe that had them glistening, and not in a good way. The documentation says the flat screen weighed 79 lbs, but it felt as light as a feather after their previous ordeal.

Without incident they climbed both stair cases and placed the sleek, new, 52", hi-def temptress onto its stand. Thank god the cable guy was coming the next morning to switch out the cable box for a hi-def one. He would have to connect the TV to ensure everything worked properly.

So there you have it! Now its time to play the fun little game. Leave a comment and tell me if you think this is a sitcom or reality.

Crush du Jour: Damon Danilo

Anti-gay church raided in child porn case

My comments follow this brief article.

Anti-gay church raided in child porn case
By The Associated Press

(Fouke, Arkansas) Six minors have been temporarily placed in state custody as part of a child porn investigation after a raid on a ministry run by a man who says “consent is puberty” when it comes to sex, officials said Sunday.

The children will be in the custody of the Arkansas Department of Human Services as investigators interview them, state police spokesman Bill Sadler said in a statement.

Sadler didn’t say how long the interviews would last, but did say that courts would decide the children’s status in the event of any “long-term separation” from the property of the Tony Alamo Christian Ministries in rural Fouke.

He did not say how old the children were, but an email that authorities inadvertently sent to media members last week referred to 12-, 13- and 14-year-old girls.

The move comes after a raid Saturday by more than 100 federal and state authorities.

Investigators said their two-year probe into allegations of child pornography and abuse focused on convicted tax evader Tony Alamo and his ministry, described by its critics as a cult.

Alamo claimed in a telephone interview with The Associated Press on Saturday that the investigation was part of a federal push to legalize same-sex marriage while outlawing polygamy.

He also said for girls having sex, “consent is puberty.”

News of the raid brought Anthony Justin Lane, 34, into Fouke from his job roofing in nearby Texarkana, hoping for some word about his family.

Lane said he has been trying for 10 years to reunite with his children, who belong to Alamo’s ministry. Lane said he saw a 13-year-old girl marry a man of about 40 just before he was kicked out of the church for asking too many questions.

Lane hired a lawyer and said that he is trying to subpoena his wife, but that it remains difficult as she moves among Alamo’s churches in Arkansas and California.

Lane said he last saw his oldest daughter, Ashley, who would now be 13, in 2005. She offered him a pamphlet as he sat in his car reading a newspaper outside Alamo’s church in Fort Smith in 2005. When Lane told her he was her father, he said, she ran off.

He has received only a few photos since then of Ashley, daughter Sarah, 11, and son Timothy, 9, from a relative. His longtime girlfriend was pregnant with Timothy when he said he was expelled from the church for questioning their practices.

“I see pictures of those kids and I feel robbed - robbed of being a father,” Lane told reporters.
“I keep laying it in the Lord’s hands and hoping he’ll have mercy on my children and protect them,” he said.

Authorities’ search of the Fouke complex ended after midnight Saturday, and Sadler said officials had no plans to search the buildings again. Authorities have not indicated any plans to search other ministry locations.

*******

How in the world does somebody get busted on child porn and child abuse charges and then turn around and claim his arrest and "investigation was part of a federal push to legalize same-sex marriage while outlawing polygamy". I mean, WTF?

What does child porn and sex with minors have to do with legalizing same sex marriage or polygamy??? Absolutely nothing. They are completely unrelated.

Tony Alamo and his 'ministries' may feel that "consent is puberty", but that's not what the law of the land says.

It disgusts me how this child predator hides behind his religious 'ministry' and attempts to cloud his charges by injecting unrelated 'hot button' topics like same sex marriage.

How sad for the father kicked out of the cult for asking questions. His children have been kidnapped by their mother and that child predator Alamo. I hope Alamo gets locked up for the rest of his life.

Crush du Jour: John King

Allies

Recently I heard about Brad Pitt donating money to help defeat Prop 8 in CA, the ballot bill that would repeal marriage equality in CA.

But what exactly is Prop 8? Ellen DeGeneres exposes the tricky wording of Proposition 8 here.

Then I saw a headline indicating Steven Spielberg and his wife donated money for this, too.

It got me thinking about how, as gay people, we sometimes forget that we are not in this alone. We have allies among the hetero population who are willing to spend money to help us succeed in guaranteeing marriage equality for those in CA.

So I took just a few minutes time to search for other people and companies who believe in equality for ALL Americans, not just the straight ones. Here's what I found.

Newsom, Paterson Host Gay Marriage Fundraiser

Steven Spielberg Donates $100,000 To Gay Marriage Fight

Google Opposes Anti-Gay Marriage Ban

Brad Pitt Donates $100,000 To Fight Gay Marriage Ban

Levi's joins fight to defeat marriage ban

PG & E gives $250,000 to defeat gay marriage ban Proposition 8

And, although not directly related to marriage equality, Pepsi Co. gave $500,000. to PFLAG, which works to strengthen the bond between the gay community and its straight allies.

Its important that we buy the products and services from the companies and individuals who are brave enough to stand up and publicly join us in our struggle for equality. Let's remember that religious groups often threaten and carry out boycotts against such companies for their courageous stand. Just ask Wells Fargo or Disney.

And if you can spare a few minutes, why not write to these companies to thank them for taking a stand for equality. They will appreciate it and will know their efforts are appreciated by us.

Crush du Jour: Eddie Cibrian

Weekend salvaged

Fri evening Jim & Barb officially rescheduled Saturday's block party due to the weather forecast.
But Fri evening turned out very well because our Fri night dinner with 'the usual suspects' was held at Walt & Tom's house, rather than a restaurant. We didn't know until the birthday cake was brought out for dessert that it was Tom's birthday. So the 'surprise' was on us instead of Tom. We had a nice group show up and a delicious dinner. When we got home Spouse watched the presidential candidates debate while I watched 'Burnt Money' on DVD. It was good.

Sat morning Spouse & I walked over to the Blue Plate Diner for breakfast. Owners Mark and Jim, who are also our friends, were there and we talked with them until our food arrived. Spouse had a large omelet with hash browns and I had Belgian waffles. Then we ran a few errands.

Shortly before the Straight Eights car show was due to start at 2:00, he headed into Rehoboth under sketchy skies. It hadn't rained all day so far so the car show wasn't cancelled. We had a great time looking at all of the lovely vintage beauties. Most were the same as last year, although a few were missing, and there were a few new additions. Just as we had completed viewing at all the cars and were looking around for Rick & Nick, we started feeling rain drops. Suddenly we saw car owners run from their conversations to put up their convertible tops. It was sort of comical. We weren't far from where we'd parked so we just ran to our car and headed home. The rain lasted less than 5 minutes, and Rick & Nick later told us that everyone dried their cars off with towels and the car show resumed.

As Spouse & I were relaxing and channel surfing Spouse stopped on the ShopNBC channel. Lo and behold, they were featuring a fantastic deal on mattresses! We watched the presentation and recalled to each other the prices we'd seen while mattress shopping 2 weeks prior. That day's special was $999. for any size, with FREE shipping, and free set-up of the new bed and free removal of your old bed, so we knew this deal was not to be beat.

So we bought it.

The Serta Bellfield Pillowtop Mattress and Split Foundation should be delivered in about 3 weeks. Its an inner spring mattress with a memory foam pillow top. Its not the TempurPedic mattress I wanted but its less than 1/2 the price. Spouse wasn't as keen on the TempurPedic mattress because he found it difficult to roll over, and also heard from some people that it made them hot at night. So I decided to compromise on the mattress, especially since he compromised on the LCD HD TV.

I also compromised and agreed to 'upgrade' to a king bed. Initially I didn't want to do this because we have 10 sets of queen sheets as well as a queen comforter and bed skirt that I absolutely love. But the king mattress was the same price as the queen, and Spouse really wanted the king, so I agreed. Our queen comforter is oversized so we can probably still use it on the king bed. We have 3 other queens that can use the 10 sets of queen sheets.

Hopefully the king will reduce the motion transfer. On our current bed when Spouse rolls over I bounce all over the place. I tell him I feel as though I'm on a blow-up raft on a stormy ocean.

Sat evening Barb & Jim invited us to join them and a few neighbors for dinner. Jim had made a giant cauldron of Portuguese stew and had grilled up some hamburgers and hot dogs. We ate and hung out for a few hours with some of our neighbors and had a really good time.

Sun morning Spouse & I relaxed with our morning coffee and then got started on the house cleaning. I hate doing it, but I always feel so good once its done. A dirty house makes me feel irritated, and a clean house makes me feel happy and carefree.

Then we drove to Dover with the top down to shop at Value City Department Store. We love this place because you can find great name brand merchandise at close-out prices. We had a gift certificate worth $40. so we bought a set of 600 thread count sheets in king size for $39.99. We also picked up a king mattress cover marked $19.99 that rang up at $4.50 - 75% off! Now we'll be ready when our new bed arrives.

Despite the gloomy, rainy forecast, it only rained a few times and for short periods of time, so our weekend wasn't a wash. It turned out much better than I expected. Now, if only we could find a way to make them last longer.

Crush du Jour: Digo Padovan

Weekend cancelled?

For weeks I've been excited by our plans for tomorrow.

First, the annual Straight Eights chapter of the Lambda Car Club's vintage car show from 2:00-5:00.
We've gone the past 2 years and really enjoyed seeing all the beautiful old cars. Click here to see my photos from last year's show.

Second, our neighbor's annual block party from 4:00 until everyone goes home. Jim & Barb grill up a whole bunch of burgers, hot dogs, chicken breasts, ribs, and brats. The rest of the neighbors bring the salads, side dishes, and desserts. Jim plugs his iPod into a couple of huge speakers, and everyone eats, talks, drinks, dances, and enjoys themselves. Last year it was a lot of fun.

Unfortunately it looks like Mother Nature will not be cooperating for either of these 2 outdoor events. Yesterday it rained on and off all day, sometimes hard, and the wind was really fierce.

Today the wind has died down quite a bit and it is not currently raining, but the forecast is for scattered showers today and tomorrow, and thunderstorms on Sun.

I have a feeling the car show will be cancelled. Owners of most restored vintage beauties do not drive them when its wet outside, and with the possibility of showers and/or thunderstorms, I have a feeling many will not show up even if its not cancelled. The car show is held in a tree covered park, and since its been raining since Thurs, the ground will be muddy.

Jim & Barb have already emailed everyone asking for opinions on what folks want to do. It looks like most are leaning toward postponing the block party to another weekend. Even if it isn't raining, the yard will be saturated with rain and the grass will be slippery.

So the weekend I've been looking forward to for weeks appears to be on the verge of cancellation. What should I do to fill my time? Your suggestions are welcomed.

While I'm already down in the dumps about the sure-to-be-cancelled activities, I might as well share with you this video, sent to me by a friend, that really made me feel terrible. I am hoping the driver of that car has some serious mental health issues. I can't fathom anyone with a sane mind acting and speaking like that. But maybe I've just never experienced such hate so I don't know.

Wishing everyone a good weekend. Maybe I can lift everyone's 'spirits' with today's handsome crush.

Crush du Jour: Rocco Dispirito

Dream

I had a dream that left me a little disturbed and a lot baffled.

Normally my dreams include people and places I'm familiar with, but often in odd combinations. You know, a friend from high school joins you for Thanksgiving at your parents house. Only you haven't seen your parents in 15 years, they don't even celebrate Thanksgiving, it isn't their house, and the friend from high school still looks 17 even though you're both 44 now. That kinda stuff. Those dreams don't disturb or baffle me, but last night's did. Here's the dream.

SCENE 1
I am my current age, 44, but I am working at the men's clothing store in the mall where I worked when I was 24. My boss is the same man who was my boss then, only he hasn't aged 20 years as I have.

I find a wallet in the store and open it to see if it contains ID. A man in his 50s sees me with his wallet and thanks me for finding it. I look at his photo ID and understanding the wallet belongs to him, I give it to him, smile and say "No problem".

This causes me to think that perhaps I should remove my wallet and keys from my pockets for fear of loosing them in the busy store. I reach over the sales counter and place my wallet and keys inside a drawer adjacent to the cash register. I see the credit card processor spitting out a charge receipt for $1,561.13 which I think to myself as a 'really good sale'.

As I'm leaning over the counter I feel a hand on top of my head, with its fingers extending down my forehead. Obviously the body connected to this hand is behind me. Instinctively I reach up and remove the hand by the wrist and say "Excuse me???"

But before I can even turn around to confront the invader of my personal space, the man wraps his arms around my arms and torso and begin to squeeze me. Its kind of like a bear hug, only he's behind me. I try to free myself, but he is taller and stronger than me so I stop. Where is the employee who entered the sale into the credit card terminal???

"Please remove yourself from me right now" I say politely but firmly. Out of my peripheral vision I see an African American woman witnessing the situation with a concerned look on her face. I don't know if she is my attacker's wife/girlfriend or if they've ever seen each other before or not.

The man does not release me so I say louder and more firmly "I said take your hands off of me right now!" He presses his body up against mine and says "Now you're gonna get to feel my hot breath on your neck". Under very different circumstances, this would be a real turn-on. But in this circumstance, it is not, so I struggle again to free myself but am unable to get loose.

"If you don't get off me NOW" I shout, "I'm going to yell for help." Instead of letting go, the man begins grinding his pelvis against my ass, and I can feel that he is getting excited by this. Again, under different circumstances I would be like "Yeah!" But in this situation, I call for help.

"SECURITY! SECURITY! HELP - I'M BEING ASSAULTED! SOMEONE DIAL 911 RIGHT AWAY!" I yelled at the top of my voice. Calling for security was just a tactic to scare my attacker, as I knew our store had no security guard. But I could see shoppers in the store retrieve their cell phones from their pockets and purses, and I assumed they were calling the police for me. I figured the 911 dispatcher would contact the mall security who would surely come to my rescue before the police could, coming from somewhere else.

Meanwhile, the woman I could see from my peripheral vision is still standing there, next to my attacker, looking concerned, but doing and saying absolutely nothing. I wasn't really frightened, but was more annoyed than anything else.

I try one more time with the man. "The police will be here any minute, so you'd better get off me before I press charges." The man doesn't let go, and continues to grind himself against my ass, while holding my arms and torso tightly.

SCENE 2
The sleazy store manager (my boss) is standing next to me, and the police officer, my attacker, and the African American witness are standing opposite of us. This is the first time I've seen my attacker, as he was always behind me. He looks like a linebacker, and I feel much better about why I was unable to free myself from his grip. Obviously the woman is with him.

My boss has suggested that I not press charges since I "wasn't hurt", and I ascertain it is because my boss was the employee who rang up the $1,561.13 sale and that my attacker was the purchaser of all that merchandise.

I say to my boss "I am pressing charges. This man assaulted me. I asked him, then demanded he let me go, but he wouldn't. I am pressing charges."

My attacker is smiling the whole time, and then begins to chuckle at my words. I feel obliged to continue validating my actions to my sleazy boss. "If I witnessed him assaulting a customer of this store, I would surely have tried to intervene and then would have called the police. I'm sure you wouldn't try to dissuade the customer from pressing charges."

I look at the police officer and restate my position. "I AM pressing charges."

Despite my refusal to give in, my attacker continues smiling, looking up at the ceiling, down at the floor, and chuckles again. I am imagining that he is a minor league football player and believes the team's lawyer will get the charges dropped. I don't want that to happen so I go in for the kill.

Looking directly at my attacker I say "I see your erection has gone down, now that the police officer is here."

Then, looking at the officer I say "I don't know if this affects the way he'll be charged or not, but you should know that he had an erection while assaulting me, and really seemed to be enjoying it."

With that, the officer handcuffs my attacker and reads him his Miranda rights. End of dream.

What a crazy dream, eh? Knowing that the content of dreams usually comes from fragments of one's life, what baffles me is where this dream came from?

I'm never concerned about my personal safety or being attacked or assaulted, so why was this the central theme of the dream?

I don't recall ever being truly fearful of being injured by my attacker. I wasn't afraid, I was annoyed. That seems odd.

And what's up with that woman with the concerned look on her face who witness my attack but never said a word, either during or afterward? Was she mute?

I don't know, but I'm certainly not going to obsess over it. It was a dream. It wasn't very pleasant, but its over.

Especially for my friend Tony G, I leave you with today's Crush.

Crush du Jour: Alex Baresi

Gay Aiken

Thank god we can all finally sleep at night, now that the big mystery of Clay Aiken's sexuality has been revealed!

Yes, that's right. Clay discloses "Yes, I'm gay."
My comments are in red italics throughout this 'riveting' article.

Clay Aiken Decides That We Can Handle the Truth: He's Gay

(Sept. 23) - Clay Aiken is gay.
Duh. But since when has it been about whether or not WE can handle the truth?

After years of dodging rumors and speculation, in a PEOPLE exclusive the former 'American Idol' runner-up gives his Ellen-inspired admission: 'Yes, I'm Gay.'

"It was the first decision I made as a father," says Aiken, 29, who recently had a child through a surrogate mother. "I cannot raise a child to lie or to hide things. I wasn't raised that way, and I'm not going to raise a child to do that."
Hmmm, so let me get this straight (pardon the pun): You weren't raised to lie or hide things, yet you decided as an adult that it was the best way to handle questions about your sexuality? Maybe its me, but I'm missing the connection here.

Aiken says he knows his newborn son will have a lot to process and interpret once he grows up.

"Whether it be having a child out of wedlock, or whether it be simply being a homosexual, it's going to be a lot," he told PEOPLE. "I have no idea if he'll be gay or straight. It's not something I'll have anything to do with, or that he'll have anything to do with. It's already probably up inside the code there ... No matter what the situation you're in, if you're raised in a loving environment, that's the most important thing."
This paragraph contains the only quotation that makes any sense. I applaud his moment of clarity!

Aiken also tells PEOPLE about how he actually broke the news to his mother.

"I started crying in the car. It was dark. I was sitting there, thinking to myself. I don't know why I started thinking about it ... I just started bawling. She made me pull over the car and it just came out," he says.
Why does coming out have to be this big theatrical production, full of tears and melodrama? In this day and age, why can't gays just say "Mom and Dad, you may have already guessed but I want to tell you that I'm gay. This probably isn't what you would have chosen for me, but its not a choice at all. It simply is. Now I don't expect you to treat me or think of me any differently than you did yesterday, because I'm the same person I was yesterday. Only now you know something more personal about me, and you can stop asking me if I'm dating any nice young girls." Wouldn't that be nice? No tears, no drama, no apologies.

Aiken wasn't the first celebrity to come out on Tuesday. After months of speculation, actress Lindsay Lohan finally divulged that she is dating DJ Samantha Ronson.
Really? I heard she was flirting with Rehab.

Aiken had lashed out at Diane Sawyer during an interview just over two years ago when she asked about rumors of his sexuality.

"At some point it becomes really rude," he said to Sawyer. "I don't understand why you want to know. I don't know why it's any of your business."
Once again I will say that any man who won't definitively answer the 'are you gay?' question is gay, because a straight man will just say 'no'.

Aiken had also said constant questioning of his sexuality in the tabloids had affected him deeply.
If he had answered the question honestly and definitively the first time, all this hurt would have been avoided!

"Even though stuff about me that I read in the magazines isn't true, it still makes me lose sleep," he said. "I hurt, not just for my mother who has to watch it happen and who hurts for me. At least when I was in middle school … I understand why they picked on me."

Aiken had also refused to come out of the closet to PEOPLE magazine in an interview done the same week as his sit-down with Sawyer.
Yet another missed opportunity.

"What do you say? It's like when I was 8. I remember something would get broken in the house, and Mom and Dad would call me in and say, 'Did you do this?' Well, it didn't matter what I said. The only thing they would believe was yes. People are going to believe what they want."
People also believe what they see and hear. They saw and heard him avoiding the questions about his sexuality so they believed the accusations were true.

Closeted celebrities, PLEASE! Just come out already. Nobody really cares that your gay. They care that you lie about it or avoid answering the question.

Crush du Jour: Joshua Morrow

Politics

You may or may not have noticed the lack of political postings on my blog in the last 2 weeks or so. This is certainly not due to a lack of things to post. From Palin's deceptive statements to her decision not to cooperate with the 'Troopergate' investigators, there's plenty to post.

But my decision not to post on political issues for a while is deliberate. I'm just sick of hearing/reading about it, and I imagine you all are, too. So if you want political commentary, you can surely find it on other blogs and on TV.

Don't get me wrong, I certainly feel that all voters should be well-informed. I don't mind that other bloggers and the media are covering every word ever uttered by the presidential and vice-presidential candidates. But with all that coverage out there, you don't need to hear/read it from me, too.

So I will continue posting interesting political articles and my comments about them if they are not related to the presidential election. But no more SNL spoofs of 'Palin and Clinton' here.

Just more stories from my big fat gay life, and hot guys like the one below.

Crush du Jour: Joey Gloor

Weekend miracle

Well, this weekend sure was a LOT better than last weekend!

For a change, we had no real plans or obligations. It as a 'free' weekend to do what we wanted.

Sat morning as I was making the coffee I heard Spouse yell my name from the TV room where he was watching ShopNBC, a home shopping channel similar to QVC and HSN (Home Shopping Network).

"Come here and see this TV!" he suggested. Now, this was the same kind of thing that got us into trouble the previous weekend; him making me watch a detailed presentation of a big HD TV, getting me excited about it, and then saying its 'too expensive', and 'everything on TV is crap so why do we need a big TV to watch crap'. But I cautiously watched the presentation with him and decided I was not going to act interested unless he seemed interested.

I'm not sure if this miracle was from the heavenly baby Jesus or what, but Spouse actually began to talk about the features of the TV he liked, which by the way was bigger and more expensive than the one we'd seen last weekend. Then he suggested we go to some retail stores and compare prices.

I thought I was having a delightful dream. I mean, this couldn't be the same Spouse! But rather than wake myself from this lovely illusion, I agreed to see if Wal-Mart or K-Mart could beat the price. It took less than 30 minutes to review the offerings at both stores, and our conclusion was that the one we'd seen on ShopNBC was the best TV at the best price.

So we came home and ordered it: A 52" Toshiba Regza HD TV.

Can you believe that? He went from the Grinch who stole Christmas to Santa Claus himself, in the span of one week!

In typical Spouse style, he immediately had buyer's remorse and began saying things like "I hope we didn't make a big mistake by ordering that TV", and "I wonder if its going to be too big". In typical Mark style, I reassured him that the TV seemed wonderful to me, and that if, by some wicked twist of fate, we didn't like it, we could ship it back within 30 days for a refund. As the day went on he seemed less concerned about it, which after 12 years together, I knew would happen.

Later that day we bought some brackets at Lowes and put them up in our storage closet so we could hang our beach chairs and gardening tools on the wall. That night we had pizza for dinner and talked about the myriad of possible ways we could invest some of the proceeds from the sale of our house in VA. Spouse said he found it romantic, the 2 of us sharing a pizza in the dimly lit pizzeria, talking about our financial future.

But what I found romantic was when he woke me up in the middle of the night for some quick, hot man-love! I realize that not everyone (cb) likes this, but I sure do! Maybe because its unexpected. Maybe because you're in that 1/2 asleep, 1/2 awake state. I don't know, and I don't have to know. Okay, so maybe it wasn't particularly romantic, but it was good. And then, back to sleep again.

Sun we went to the craft store to buy some paints. I have 3 framed paintings but do not like them, so I'm going to reuse them by painting over top of them. I've made art before. Here is a series of geometrics I did a few years ago for my office.

Here is a series of landscapes I did several years ago for the office/library in our former house in VA.
When I finish my new geometric art for 1 of our guest bedrooms, I'll post a picture of it.

Then Sun afternoon we met Rick & Nick at the beach. It was pure heaven. The sun was shining brightly, there was a gentle breeze, the humidity was low, the water temperature was warm, and the waves were rough. We had a fantastic time!

Maybe weekends like last weekend help me better appreciate weekends like this one.

Crush du Jour: Matt Hughes