Wedding in the Berkshires

Thurs morning Joe & I loaded the trunk of my convertible and set off on our second trip this week. The purpose of this trip was to attend the wedding of our friends Michael & Jamie, in the Berkshires. And since our directions took us within a short distance of Albany NY, we decided to leave a day early to see could incorporate a visit with our friend Rachel.

The drive to Albany was beautiful and easy, for the most part. Rather than taking the NJ Turnpike through NJ and NY, we followed the suggestion of Michael & Jamie to take the western route through PA instead. Although the NJ/NY route is likely shorter, it is much more hectic, trafficky, and stressful to drive. (We knew that from our trip to Vermont in Jan.) The route through PA was beautiful, not trafficky at all, and was a pleasure to drive.

We headed north with the roof down, our sunglasses and visors on, and the CD wallets full of good music for the drive. The weather was quite pleasant through MD and PA, with large periods of alternating sun and clouds. Several miles before approaching Frackville PA (yes, that's really the name of the town), we saw a huge billboard sign for "Dutch Kitchen - Voted Best Roadfood". Joe & I got a chuckle out of this, wondering what exactly was "roadfood". Was that something like roadkill? Who votes on that? We decided they likely meant road-side food, since the sign was on a major highway. Intrigued, we decided to stop there for lunch.

Since it was about 2:30 on a Thurs, there were only folks at a few tables. Our waiter was this 60-something looking many with impeccably styled hair. After taking our order, we overheard him talking to another employee, lamenting that he was the only server that day, and that if there were a rush, he'd be all alone to handle all the tables. Then he added that he was simply not having a good week. Just the previous day he had done a perm and had forgotten to mix up the perm solution, so he wound up having to do the whole thing over again. We didn't realize this lunch would include entertainment!

Back on the road again, the periods of sun were becoming fewer and fewer, and the clouds were getting darker. Joe asked me if I thought we should stop and put the roof up. But being the eternal optimist that I am, I said no and that I thought we'd be fine. We'd crossed the NY state line and I figured we'd be in Albany soon. A good while later as we were sailing east on I-84, we drove right into an absolute deluge of rain! Neither of us saw it ahead of us, and there were no tell-tale drips or drizzles on the windshield to warn us. Before we knew it, we had driven into the pouring rain. I immediately pulled over to the shoulder and pushed the button that automatically opens the 'boot' and raises the convertible roof, but it just wasn't fast enough. It takes 14 seconds to open or close the roof, but when you're sitting in the pouring rain, 14 seconds feels like 14 minutes. We were both soaked. There was only like 2 fast food napkins in the glove box with which we could attempt to wipe the streams of water from our faces. It was really shocking how fast we drove into that. About 15 minutes later the rain stopped and the sun came back out. We stopped for gas and while I was fueling up, Joe went inside and got some napkins to wipe off the inside of the car. Confident that the shower was over, I pushed the button and sent the convertible roof back to its resting spot and headed back out.

Not even an hour later, as we were heading north on I-87, we saw the first of a few drips on the windshield this time, so I immediately pulled over so we could get the roof up again. Just as we merged from the shoulder back onto the highway, it began to pour again. We decided the roof was going to stay up this time, even if the rain stopped and the sun came out again.

We reached Albany and met up with Rachel. She used to work with Joe, but took a better paying job in Albany back in July. She'd lived in Albany before and has several close friends and relatives there. We walked from her apartment in a gorgeous old Victorian a few blocks to Sadie's, where we had to yell to compete with the loud music from the bar next door, as we ate pizza, chicken tenders, and an assortment of fried foods. Good times! It was nice to visit with Rachel. We stayed at an inexpensive hotel near the highway.

Fri morning, after breakfast at IHOP, we headed over to a cute, 'up-and-coming' neighborhood where we'd seen some cute stores the night before. Much of Albany looks to be in a state of disrepair. What were once gorgous Victorian houses are now apartment buildings needing lots of care. Its such a shame, since Albany is the capitol of NY, and since the city has such potential to look like San Francisco. We did a little browsing and then decided to head on over to MA. From Albany we took I-90 and got to Lee, MA in less than an hour.

Michael & Jamie had sent us this wonderful and invaluable map of The Berkshires, which includes several little tiny towns, one of which was Lee, the location of our hotel. We checked into our room, and called Michael & Jamie to let them know we were in town, then set off to explore the quaint little villages that make up the Berkshires. We had dinner at a Greek restaurant, then headed over to meet up with Michael & Jamie, their families, and other guests who had already arrived for the wedding. They both seemed a little nervous, likely because their ceremony was scheduled to be outdoors the next day, and it had rained earlier, and the forecast called for scattered showers on their wedding day. But it was nice to see some familiar faces of the guests we'd met before.

Sat morning, we had breakfast at a coffee shop/smoothie place/bagel shop, then headed out for some more exploring. We stopped at a tag sale (yard sale) and as we were leaving, Jamie and his two friends Amy and Caryn pulled up! Apparently Michael & Jamie had planned a little time on their wedding day for each of them to spend with the two friends who were 'standing up for them' at their wedding, and being the consummate bargain hunter, this was Jamie's idea of quality time with his friends.

Michael called 45 minutes before the wedding was to start to let me know they had decided to move the ceremony indoors, due to the threat of rain. We arrive a few minutes before it was to begin and took our seats. Michael & Jamie each had a sibling give a reading, and then the officiant gave the sermon. I took pictures as discreetly as possible.

Then we had a cocktail hour, followed by a sit-down dinner, followed by dancing, the cutting and serving of the wedding cake, and an open bar. It was a wonderful event.

We got the opportunity to meet all of Jamie & Michael's parents. I say 'all' because both guys' parents are divorced and remarried, so there were 4 sets of parents. There were also many relatives, friends, former co-workers, and college roommates/friends. We really enjoyed talking to many of them and seeing how wonderfully supportive everyone was for these two guys who decided to get married in the only state in the United States where gays can marry.

We left this morning at 9:30, stopped once for lunch and gas, and got home at 5:30. We logged over 1,100 miles. I'm really not looking forward to returning to work tomorrow.

Las Vegas, Baby!!

I had good intentions of writing again before leaving on vacation, but things got pretty crazy at work. Instead of writing my last night before leaving, I was in the office until 8pm.

Joe's mom Evelyn & I left early Fri morning for the airport, where we met up with Kelly, George, and Zelinda for our fabulous trip to Las Vegas to celebrate Kelly's 40th birthday. Joe had an important meeting, so he left Fri evening and joined us later that night.

We stayed at the Luxor, the giant black Pyramid. Joe & I stayed there the last time we were in Vegas (for my 40th birthday) and loved it. They've interwoven the Egyptian theme everywhere you can imagine, from the hotel/casino decor to the pyramid shaped box that hold the shower cap. The slanted wall of one-way glass in our 14th floor guest room offered us fantastic views of the desert mountains and the sparkling pools.

Friday after checking in, we ate and talked about the shows we wanted to see. Then some of us went to the pool, others to the spa, and others to the casino. Joe joined us as we were eating our late dinner.

Sat we picked up our mini-van from the car rental desk inside the Luxor (how convenient is that?) and headed out to Red Rocks Canyon. It is a beautiful state park about 40 minutes outside Las Vegas, with a driving trail and many places to stop and get out. You are also permitted to climb the beautiful rusty-red colored rock formations if you want, but none in our group was that adventurous. On our way back into town we stopped for lunch. Once back at the Luxor it was time for more pool-side relaxing, mango body scrubs at the spa, and of course, slot machine action.

Sat night Evelyn, Joe & I went to see Gladys Knight at the Flamingo. What a fantastic performance! She really exceeded our expectations. For being over 60 years old and being in show business for over 40 years, she looked and sounded great! She sang all of her hits, and the audience responded appreciatively. Then the three of us decided to have a late dinner at the Venetian. We walked along the Grand Canal, ducked into a few shops, and watched the gondaliers as they guided their boats up and down the indoor canal while serenading their passengers. We ate a late, light supper at a little Italian trattoria.

Sun found some of us at the pool again, others at the spa, and others at the slot machines. Sun night Kelly, George, and Zelinda went to see the Cirque du Soleil production called 'O' at the Bellagio. All 6 of us left together, and after dropping the show folks off Evelyn, Joe & I went outside to watch the spectacular Bellagio Fountains show. (Its about 4-5 minutes long and happens every 1/2 hour, with different fountain shows.) Afterward we took a tour through the beautiful Bellagio, taking note of where the group of us would dine after the Cirque show ended. Then we took the skybridge over to Caesar's Palace and toured it. On our way back to the Bellagio it was time for the fountain show again, so we stopped to see another beautiful selection.

When we rejoined the others we found that everyone was still full from our buffet lunch several hours prior, so we scrapped the idea of a late dinner at the Bellagio. Some retreated to their rooms for rest, others went back to the slot machines, and Kelly & I went to the lounge to have a few birthday drinks and listen to the band. (Kelly's birthday was Sun Sept 11.)

The first part of Mon was much like the first part of Sun. Mon evening we all rode over to the New York, New York hotel/casino to see the Cirque du Soleil show called 'Zumanity'. Billed as "the other side of Cirque du Soleil", it has a 18 year old age limit due to some nudity and graphic sexual language. We all enjoyed the show, but I didn't find it much different than most Cirque shows. It seemed like pretty much the same kind of trapeze/acrobatic stuff, only with far less costumes. But it was still enjoyable. Mon was Zelinda's birthday.

The weather couldn't have been better: around 84 degrees during the day, with no discernible humidity, and about 76 degrees at night. The locals said it was unseasonably cool for that time of year, but we certainly weren't complaining!

Although we often split up so everyone could 'do our own thing' (ie: slot machines, spa treatments, sunning/swimming, etc) we always checked in with each other and made arrangements to share almost every meal as a group. It really worked out well, allowing everyone time together and time apart.

Tues morning the shuttle picked us up at 10:30 to get us to the airport. But before that, my longtime friend Cliff and his partner Steve (whom I'd not met before) joined Joe & me for breakfast at the Luxor at 9. Cliff and I had been friends back in the 80s when we were both still JWs. Cliff had moved away, then left the JWs so we lost touch. Then I left the JWs and the years began to fly by. About a year ago, out of the blue I got an email from Cliff, saying he'd found me on the internet. So, of course we had to see each other after all these years. I was glad Steve was able to come so I could meet him. It was the perfect way to end our trip in Vegas.

Tues night we got back home at about 10pm (local time), but since there were no meals on the flight, we were hungry. Evelyn, Joe & I went to the Silver Diner and then went directly to bed. Flying seems to make everyone tired.

Wed Joe took his mom home and I started on the laundry. EVERYTHING had to be washed, whether we had worn it or not, due to the cigarette smoke. I ran a few errands, and then when Joe returned, we began packing for our next adventure...

What a different humidity makes

About 2 weeks ago it was 77 degrees one morning, but it was so stinkin' humid it felt like I was in a rainforest. It was so gross that I kept the roof on my car closed and drove to work with the a/c on.

This week the temperatures have been in the mid- to upper-80s, but the humidity has been so low that it feels great! I haven't closed the roof on my car all week. Its amazing what a difference humidity makes.

We're heading to the beach tonight for the 3-day Labor Day weekend... roof open, music blaring, mouth smiling. I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday weekend.

Katrina - revisited

I just can't keep watching the videos of the destruction and flooding in the gulf coast area. Its addictive. I stayed up until midnight last night (a school night) flipping from CNN to MSN to Nightline, to Primetime - any station offering information about what was going on.

I feel so badly for the people, many of whom were poor to begin with, who've now lost everything. Everything. Wedding photos, children's artwork, grandma's heirloom, that special love letter. All those irreplacable things that help keep the memories of loved ones close. God bless them all. And please give to charities like the Red Cross who are working hard to help provide the basic necessities like food and drinking water to these people who have absolutely nothing.

Katrina

I'm in utter shock over the destruction and force of hurricane Katrina.

My heart goes out to all those affected in New Orleans, Gulfport, Biloxi, and their surrounding areas.

Warantee

The other day as I was driving to work I heard a car commercial on the radio advertise "6 year or 60,000 mile powertrain warantee". At first thought, that sounds pretty impressive. But then I started thinking about what exactly is covered under that warantee.

The wording was "powertrain warantee". Therefore, if your muffler falls off, your transmission is shot, or your brakes fail - you know, the kind of things that really happen to people - the warantee does you absolutely no good.

"Powertrain warantee". Indeed, the only thing covered under that warantee is the powertrain. When was the last time you heard a co-worker say "Yeah, I was late to the office this morning cuz I had to drop my car off at the shop... powertrain problem." Never? Me either. In fact, I don't think I've ever, EVER heard anyone complain that their powertrain had gone out on them. So, essentially the "6 year or 60,000 mile powertrain warantee" is a warantee you'll never need. It just sounds good on a commercial.

We're heading to the beach after work today. Hope my powertrain is okay.

Weight loss tip # 143

Don't order 'Value Meals'

If you're like me, you may really be trying to eat right and lose some weight, but when it comes to lunchtime, you find yourself at a loss. Especially when I have limited time, I find myself only able to pick up something quick from a fast food place.

Its tempting to just order one of those 'Value Meals'. You get some kind of burger or sandwich, a large order of french fries and a large soda. Its so convenient, you only need say "I'll have a number one please." Honestly, its more food than most people need for lunch, but they usually price them so they are only a few cents more than buying smaller items a la carte. I must confess to have fallen for the 'Value Meal' on many occasions.

But I have found that I feel better about eating in a fast food place if I avoid the 'Value Meal' and just order a reasonably sized lunch. A small burger or sandwich, a small french fries, and a small soda will probably cost only a few cents less than the 'Value Meal', but I will not be tempted to eat more than I should. Another option available when ordering a la carte is to skip those delicious but fattening french fries all together. Sometimes I'll order a small cheeseburger, a 4-piece chicken nuggets and a small soda. I imagine there is more nutritional value and less fat in the 4 chicken nuggets than in the french fries, but I'm not positive of that.

Also, have you ever been in a fast food place and seen some 'limited time offer' you'd like to try, such as a peach flavored milkshake? Well, if you order a la carte and skip the french fries you can feel better about occasionally indulging in a 'limited time' peach shake.

Those french fries are good though...

What's in a name?

An acquaintance recently told me that he found out information about new people he'd met by doing a Google search on their name. My first thought, of course, was how difficult it would be to sort through all the information and know which person to attribute it to. I mean, there are hundreds and possibly thousands of people with the same name. That's why the credit bureau uses social security numbers in addition to names.

So, for kicks I decided to do a Google search on my own name. I put in my first and last name (no middle name or initial) and I was astounded to see that the search located over 7 million websites with my name on them! Then I began looking at some of the pages.

One of the men who shares my name is an 'Employee Performance Expert'. In fact, he has an entire business/company with our name in its title. He's taken our name and placed dot com after it for his impressive website.

Another who shares my name is the founder and manager of a record label. He's written songs for and performed with several indy bands. He's produced albums for other bands, and also does solo stuff. He also has a graphic design company headquartered in the same town where I live!

Another is a professional rugby player in Australia. Another is a professional portrait, wedding, and exhibit photographer. Another is an award-winning stage director. Another is a research associate professor at Northwestern University. Another is a member of Ireland's leading political party. Another is a real estate agent in Ohio. But possibly the most eerie is another guy with my name who loves to sing jazz standards as I do. Only this guy put dot org after our name for his website, and he actually has a career singing jazz. For me it is a hobby.

I didn't look through all 7 million websites, but I did look at about 100 and didn't see any that actually were about me. Even my blog didn't show up because I have intentionally left out my last name. I guess if I ever want to become famous I have a lot of work to do.

Ack!!! No air...

Friday evening when I came home from work I noticed the family room seemed awfully warm. Then I noticed an oscillating fan, turned on full-blast, sitting on the ottoman. Not a good sign, I thought to myself.

After my customary "Hello... I'm home" Joe came from the kitchen and sighed heavily. "The air conditioner's broken." "Oh no!" I replied. "The outside unit runs but nothing's coming out of the vents, and its hot as hell in here" he reported. "I called 5 different places before I could get someone to come out here tomorrow. He'll be here between 1 and 4."

Well, I was impressed that Joe had the presence of mind to begin calling someone before 5:00 on a Friday afternoon, rather than waiting for me to get home at 6:15. Turns out the first 4 places he called said the earliest they could get here was Tues or Wed. We'd have died.

Fortunately, we had plans to be out of the house on Fri night, so it wasn't too bad. I went to a wedding shower for our friends Michael and Jamie downtown. It was fun, and I met some really nice people. Joe had come home with a bad headache, had tried to take a nap but it was too hot, so he decided to go to his mom's house where the air conditioning would be plentiful.

I got home from the party about 11:45 and we talked until midnight. We decided to sleep in the guest bedroom on the main floor, rather than in our bedroom upstairs, since it was just totally intolerable up there. The problem: the guest bedroom has my old full size bed in it, and we are used to sleeping in a queen. Neither Joe nor I would ever be mistaken for petite, so we knew it would be a challenge to sleep in the full size bed, with no air conditioning.

We set up both fans on chairs, pointed directly at the bed, and eventually got to sleep. But it was a restless night for both of us, as every movement we made awakened the other. Plus, being so warm, we didn't like our skin touching each other, which was nearly impossible in the small bed.

Then next morning we planned how we'd survive until the a/c guy arrived. We certainly weren't going to be cooking breakfast, that was for sure. We quickly dressed and got into the car and turned on the a/c. We just sat there for a few minutes and reveled in the luxury of coolness. Then we just drove around, trying to think of someplace to eat breakfast that has a/c and not a long wait. We ended up at the Capitol City Brewing Company.

Over breakfast/lunch we talked about how we had just recently been talking about spending a little money to have some home improvements done: a new kitchen floor, some electrical updating, etc. We sighed as we imagined the money for those things being given to the air conditioner repair guy.

After a few little stops, we headed back to the house. We decided to wait for the repair man in the basement - the only place we could stand to be by that time of the day. Fortunately he arrived shortly after 1:00. He found that the control board (kind of like the 'brains' of the heating-a/c unit) had gone bad. It would cost $515. to replace it. Unfortunately, he did not have one for our brand on his truck. He would have to order it.

He must have seen the mixed look of horror and shock on my face as I thought about being in the house without airconditioning for 3-4 days, so he asked me if I'd like him to temporarily bypass the control board with the wiring so that the a/c would run. I excited replied "Yes, please!"

So Mon or Tues he will call us to let us know that the control board has come in and will make an appointment to replace it. Until then, the outside unit still turns itself on and off as normal, just the inside fan/blower does not turn off. No biggie. I can live with that.

Weight loss tip # 127

Eat at Subway.

If you're like me, you can do a half-way decent job sticking to your diet when you're at home. You can fill your fridge with fresh fruit and cram your cupboards with crackers and cookies (the low-fat ones of course). Yes all those little tricks that work about half the time when you're at home. But eventually you have to leave the house.

I've found it most vexing to really want to stay on my diet at lunch time, but find no reasonable lunch options. Then I tried Subway.

At Subway you can get a 6 inch sub on any one of about 97 choices of breads, with at least 382 different toppings. You could eat lunch there every day for 18 years and never have the exact same sandwich twice. After all, variety IS the spice of life.

Plus, many are very sensible for the weight-conscious. First off, they don't give you a whole hell-of-a-lot of meat or cheese, so there's just so many calories and grams of fat you can get from bread and veggies. But I've found the sandwiches to be just the right amount of food so I don't leave there feeling stuffed and sleepy when I need to get back to work.

And here's the REALLY important thing for me: the veggies are fresh and are not treated with any chemicals to make them look fresh when they aren't. One of the reasons I am unable to eat those 'healthy alternative' salads at fast food restaurants is because most of them use chemicals to make the veggies look fresh, but give me stomach cramps and diarrhea. Yeah. Not fun when you've eaten that for lunch and then have to go back to work for the rest of the afternoon. But Subway's veggies are not treated with any of those chemicals, so I can have them pile on all the lettuce, cucumbers, tomatoes, peppers - you name it - onto my sub and not feel bad later.

And if that weren't enough, the Subway near my office gives you a little stamp for your card, so that after purchasing 8 6-inch subs, you get one free. How do you like that? A bargain that helps you stay on your diet!

Stay tuned for more weight loss tips...

A social weekend

We didn't go to the beach this past weekend. Since we'd been the last 2 weekends in a row, we decided to stay home and connect with some of our friends.

Friday evening we went to Silver Spring to have dinner and hang out with our friends Justine and Liz. Joe & Justine used to work together many years ago, and became good friends and then roommates. Joe actually arranged for Justine and Liz to meet! They lived with us for a little over a year when we moved into our first house together. It really helped us to have that extra money, and it helped them save to buy a house of there own.

We ate dinner at the Austin Grill, which happens to be a favorite of Joe's. The food was good and our waitress was fun too. However, we ate too much and felt absolutely stuffed by the time we rolled out of there. Then we went for a little walk around the new 'Downtown' area of Silver Spring. Lots of restaurants, stores, and a movie theatre are there now, giving Silver Springers and their guests lots of choices. Then we went back to Justine & Liz's house and talked for several hours. I couldn't believe it was midnight before we left!

Saturday we slept in (my vice), did some laundry and a little house cleaning. I also got my hair cut. Then we headed down to Woodbridge to have dinner at our friend Robert & Liz's place. Robert was a roommate of mine in the mid 80s, and Liz was a friend of mine even before that. Robert & Liz first married other people, but years later both became free and finally connected. They got married (to each other) about a year ago.

We'd never been to their place before, and it was almost a bit of deja-vu when we walked into their condo. Their color scheme of dark purple and khaki is the same as our bedroom! I keep paint chips in my wallet so that I can match them to accessories when shopping, so I pulled out the chips and held them up to their walls. We all got a laugh out of that!

We had cocktails and a delicious dinner followed by desert, then watch a movie. Rob & Liz have the biggest flat panel TV I have ever seen in my life: 52 inches of TV hanging on the wall. Oh, and did I mention that its high definition? The picture quality was amazing! We watched "Phantom of the Opera". I didn't expect it to be very good, as often movies made from books and plays seem to take unnecessary 'creative license' and stray from the original plot and details. However, this was almost word for word and scene for scene the way I remember from seeing it on Broadway and from listening to the original soundtrack. We all liked it very much. Even Joe, who always claims not to like Andrew Lloyd-Webber, liked it. As I told him, with "Phantom of the Opera" you have to see it to fully understand and appreciate it. Just listening to the songs without having seen the play or movie isn't enough. At nearly midnight, we headed back home.

Sunday we slept in (again), then headed out for breakfast (brunch?) at Bob & Edith's diner. Unfortunately there was no place to park and we could see a line of people waiting to be seated so we decided to abandon that idea. We made a few stops (read: window-shopped) and then had an early lunch at CiCi's pizza. We picked up an engagement party gift for our friends Michael & Jamie's engagement party this coming Friday. I did some more laundry and then we got ready to meet our friends Gene & Tracy for dinner.

We used to spend a lot of time with Gene & Tracy. They were the ones who got us familiar with the Rehoboth Beach area. We used to go up there off-season and stay in one of Tracy's client's houses and go shopping at the outlets. Joe & I would always try to get a walk on the boardwalk each morning. Gene & Tracy live nearby us, but we haven't seen them in quite a while because Gene decided to go back to school while continuing to work full time. He takes classes over the internet, which actually involve more work than in-person classes because there is no lecturing or class discussion. To learn anything you have to do a lot more reading and writing of papers, so their social schedule has been severely curtailed for a good while. So we were happy to have the chance to hang out with them again. We had dinner at the Lone Star steakhouse, which is a place we never go without them. We got caught up on the happenings in each other's lives and had a very nice visit with them.

It was really fun to hang out with old friends this past weekend. It made me feel really blessed to have such good friends.

The quest for a signature cocktail

I've written before about our friends Michael and Jamie, who are getting married in MA in Sept. Last weekend they came with me and Joe to the beach.

Several times throughout the weekend I asked them about some of the details of their wedding and reception, and other times the details just came out in regular conversation. One of the things on their 'to do' list was to find dressy black shoes to wear with their tuxedos. We were able to cross that off the list this weekend with a trip to the Rehoboth outlet centers.

Another item on their 'to do' list was to come up with a signature cocktail. Rather than having a full bar at their reception, they've decided on wine, beer, and a signature cocktail. It'll be simpler than trying to guess how much of all the different kinds of booze they'll need, plus the idea of a signature cocktail just sounds special.

Jamie had the idea of taking an existing cocktail and changing or adding a key ingredient to make 'The Michael and Jamie cocktail'. Since Mojitos are the new Cosmos, they thought a mojito with a twist might be fun. Thus began our quest for 'The Michael and Jamie Mojito'.

So at dinner Saturday night (at Fish On), we decided that the four of us would each order a mojito with some other ingredient thrown in. We'd sample each drink several times and then vote on our favorite. Our waitress was sure the bartender wouldn't mind. And as you'd expect, this idea was right up my alley.

We ordered a mojito with Chamboard, which came out a beautiful blush color, a mojito with watermelon liqueur, which came out an odd, aquarium green color, a mojito with peach schnapps, which was almost clear, and a mojito with pineapple juice, which came out a cloudy, pale yellow.

We all tried each drink, and all had different but strong first impressions. Michael couldn't taste the watermelon at all, but it was Jamie's favorite. Joe hated the one with the peach schnapps, but I loved it. Michael liked the one with the Chamboard, but Jamie didn't care for it. I hated the one with the pineapple juice, but that was Joe's favorite.

The more I drank of the mojito with the peach schnapps, the more I thought I'd discovered 'The Mark Mojito'. The mixture of the mint, sugar, lime juice, white rum and peach schnapps was so refreshing, and went down so smoothly. I suggested that the waitress tell the bartender to begin offering people 'The Mark Mojito' if any were unsure what to drink.

I don't think we ever came to a consensus on what would finally become 'The Michael and Jamie cocktail'. Perhaps we'll have to try this type of outing again, altering a different cocktail four different ways, to finally know when we've got it. Or, maybe Michael and Jamie will just get tired (or drunk) and simply serve vodka and cranberry juice (also known as a Cape Cod) since they're getting married in MA. Wouldn't that be cheeky...

Dream Come True

Last Friday evening we had a lovely birthday dinner with Ron, James, Mike & Clark at Layalina's, a Lebanese restaurant. The food was good, the conversation and laughs were even better. It has been several weeks since we'd seen them, so we each took turns giving an 'update'. Joe & I came back to the house to pick up our luggage and our dog Jordan, and headed up to the beach.

Our friends Doug & Jim were already up there. They'd left earlier in the day, stopped for a visit and to leave their dogs at Jim's sister's house, and they spent the rest of the evening in Rehoboth.

Although it was disgustingly humid outside, Joe indulged me by agreeing to ride up to the beach with the top down, since most of the trip is highway or 55 mph zones, there's always moving air to keep you from overheating. Like her two dads, Jordan enjoys the luxury of riding in a convertible with the top down. Perched on her fluffy pillow, she didn't make a peep the entire trip. We arrived at about 11:15, called Doug & Jim to let them know we were there, and unpacked the car.

Doug, Jim, and I had cosmos and chatted until almost 2am. Saturday morning we had coffee and talked some more before going to brunch at the Blue Plate Diner and then to the beach. It was a spectacular day! The temperature was about 83 degrees and the humidity was low and comfortable. The sun was bright and shiny and the breeze was coming off the water, keeping the flies away. After watching the 'scenery' for a while, the four of us went for a walk, then had a cool and refreshing Italian ice.

We headed back to the house, showered and returned to Rehoboth. We went to see Follies 05 at the Rehoboth Beach Convention Center. It's a skit contest/fundraiser to benefit CAMP Rehoboth and the DE Aids Council. The show was cute and not too long. There was also a short auction and an intermission so everyone could get a cocktail from the bar.

It was a gorgeous night and we walked around Rehoboth a bit before deciding to have dinner at Planet X. Joe & I had eaten dinner there once before, last summer, with a couple of friends. When we go there we were told there might be up to a 30 minute wait, but we knew it would be worth it. We went into the bar for a cocktail and it was so darn hot in there it was intolerable! Joe walked out and said to me on the street "I'm not eating here if that place is an oven." Fortunately it only took about 15 minutes to get a table, and it was outside on the porch. (Thank god - I was not looking forward to an uncomfortable scene if our table was inside where it was hot.) We all enjoyed our meals and cocktails, along with the occasional, delightful breeze.

When we returned to the house we had one last cocktail while we talked, and then hit the sack. Sunday morning we had coffee again and chatted until almost 11am. Doug & Jim were packing to leave, as they had some errands to run that day.

Joe & I had lunch, went to a few stores, then headed back to the house where Joe took a long nap and I read 'Letters from CAMP Rehoboth' on the screened porch. Divine.

We tidied up the house, I went for a quick dip in the pool, and then we packed up the car and left at 6:30, top down and music playing. We got home at 9:00, just in time to watch Six Feet Under.

But on the trip home I began thinking about how lovely the weather was, how happy I was to be riding in my convertible, and how generally fortunate I felt. Then, it just kind of hit me like a ton of bricks.

Fifteen years ago I was an unhappy, closeted gay man trapped in a fundamentalist religion, hiding the 'secret' that I was gay. I was on vacation (alone) and saw a group of gay men at a large round table in a diner. They were talking and laughing and having a good time. One leaned over and kissed his partner on the cheek and the group roared with laughter. When I saw them I thought to myself "If only I could be out of the closet, free to live and laugh with friends. If only I had a partner to love, to live with, to have intimate dinner parties with, to have big holiday parties with, to ride in a convertible with. If only I could be myself."

To be myself - that was my dream back then. Fifteen years later, while driving home from a fun weekend at the beach with my friends and partner in my convertible, it hit me that my dream had come true.

It didn't happen overnight. And my first partner was not my permanent partner. And I drove a 4-door Honda Accord before I got my BMW convertible. And most of all, I said goodbye forever to my fundamentalist family. All of that... before my dream came true. But its all been worth it. I've never been happier - not because my dream finally came true - but because I AM being myself.

Missing Joe

Joe's birthday was yesterday. As is my custom, I sent him flowers to his office. He just loves cut flowers. Only instead of having the flowers delivered on Wednesday, I had them delivered on Tuesday because he decided to take off work Wednesday, today and tomorrow.

Joe's sister Mary and her husband and kids are at the beach in the Outer Banks. His mother and brother Paul and his family are at the beach in Wildwood. Joe really wanted to go to the beach too, but I was unable to take off work this week. I'm just too busy right now.

So Joe decided to drive up to our beach house Tuesday night and then take the ferry Wednesday morning to join his mom and brother (etc) in Wildwood, their childhood vacation destination.

Tuesday night was my first night alone. For a minute or two, I was kind of looking forward to it. No competition for the TV remote. I wouldn't be subjected to the mind-numbing blabbering of those home shopping hostesses who can drone on for hours about a stupid kitchen gadget. I don't know how they do it. Instead I could watch all the decorating and remodeling and renovating and home buying/selling shows I could find! The prospect was more than a little exciting!

But the gods must have been against me for some unknown reason. There wasn't a d@mn thing to watch on TV. Normally there'd be several decorating shows I'd want to watch on the same night. But that night it seemed like everything was either pre-empted or a repeat.

Wednesday night was the same. I flipped and flipped until I finally wound up watching the parts of "Win a Date with Tad Hamilton" that I'd missed some other time I was bored and nothing good was on TV. Not being distracted by fabulous renovations or careful color considerations, I kept thinking about my Joe.

I was sure he was having a good time. He's close to his mother, and his brother and family are very nice and fun folks. I knew they'd spend the day at the beach or the pool, eat delicious and inexpensive food on the boardwalk, and watch the kids play boardwalk games until close to midnight. Eventhough I couldn't go with him, I was glad he would be with his family, having fun on his birthday.

This evening I called him on his cell when I got home from work. I was surprised to hear that he was on the ferry, returning to our beach house. He said it was fun to be there yesterday and today, but that he was ready to say goodbye to his family and head back. They were leaving tomorrow anyway, so he just left the night before them. He's staying at the beach house tonight and will drive home tomorrow, in the daylight. He doesn't like to drive in the dark if he can help it.

So, although I am missing Joe right now, I am excited that he'll be returning home tomorrow. His latest purchase from the home shopping channel arrived today, so he will have a 'gift' waiting for him when he gets home tomorrow.

When will this out-of-control merry-go-round ride end???

Okay, so I can be a little dramatic at times. But this is the first time I have gone over a week without blogging and its all because of this often hectic, usually crazy life of mine. I'm sorry to this blog's readers (both of you) who've been wondering what's up with me.

As I mentioned before, my job is always busy and frequently stressful. The small, independently owned company I used to work for was purchased several months ago by another small company that was bigger than us. You know who won that game. Since then I have been given more and more things to do in what seems like less and less time. I often work right through lunch. Sometimes I run out to grab a quick bite at the absolute best McDonald's in the world. I'm telling you these people know how to run a fast food restaurant! Other times a sympathetic colleague will offer to pick me up some lunch while they're out, as they did yesterday and today.

But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In an email exchange with my new boss, I lamented that I really wanted to be able to contribute to shared goals and projects within their timelines, but that my ever-increasing workload often caused me to struggle to get them submitted just under the wire. This lead to a conversation in which I shared a bulleted summary of my current responsibilities and offered suggestions for transitioning tasks that were not directly related to my job title and description. My new boss agreed with all of my recommendations and at a big manager's meeting submitted the tasks to be transitioned to the directors of the groups who would logically receive the tasks. Those directors agreed that the tasks belonged in their groups, so my plan was approved. I felt both relieved and validated at the same time.

Now comes the hard part: finding the time to be away from my office to train the people who will be receiving the work. They want me to go to Richmond for a week. Yuck. The 'main' office is in Richmond, and unfortunately most of the people who work there are from Richmond, which means they are used to a different culture than me. They send emails without using spell-check. They still wear stirrup pants and big shirts to work. On 'casual Fridays' they wear jeans with a T-shirt that reads "My friend went to Mexico and all I got was this lousy T-shirt". Need I go on? I thought not.

But, in order to accomplish the original task of transitioning the work to them, I must go and be among them. For five f*cking days. (Sigh.) This too shall pass.

Distracted pedestrians

I have been noticing a lot of distracted pedestrians lately. They're cropping up everywhere!

Today as I was driving slowly through the office park to lunch I saw a young man walk out of one of the office condos, looking at his cell phone. Without looking, he walked down the sidewalk, stepped off the curb and began crossing the street, assumably to his car. I had to hit the breaks to keep from running him over. It was only then, when my car was just several feet away from him, that he finally managed to pull himself away from that fascinating cell phone to see that there was a car in the street where it belongs, about to run over him, who was also in the street where he does not belong. Normally I would have waved him on to cross the street. But he just looked at me for a split second, stopped walking and then looked back down at his cell phone again. That cell phone must have had some sort of magical powers, with the ability to completely consume its possessor's attention.

After lunch, on my way back to work I saw this young blonde-haired woman jogging, complete in her matching spandex shorts and sports bra. She also had on headphones, which I assume were connected to a small CD player or iPod. She was almost at the corner as I approached the intersection. Without breaking her stride, she reached the corner and instead of turning left to stay on the sidewalk, she continued straight, right off the curb and into the street. That must be some fantastic music she was listening to! It must have been so good that she couldn't be bothered with checking for traffic before plunging into the street. Only after she was already into the street did she look to her right to see me slowing down in order to not run over her. Once again I was not going fast, so I was able to avoid hitting her. However she didn't wait for me to wave her on. She just charged right out into the road, crossing my lane of traffic, then waited on the median strip until it was safe to cross the other lanes.

Doesn't it seem dangerous to you for a young woman to be jogging:
a) on a busy, 4-lane road at lunchtime,
b) wearing headphones
c) alone?
Wouldn't common sense suggest that one jog on less-traveled residential streets? If a motorist were to try to warn her by blowing their horn, could she even hear it over the pumping and pounding of her music? Have there not been enough women joggers abducted, raped, and killed while jogging alone? What is the price they're willing to pay for fitness?

This brings me to another question that has plagued me for years. Why is it that joggers and bicyclists have to run and ride on busy, major, 4-lane roads where there is the highest chance that they will not be seen and therefore be injured? Why don't they run and ride on 2-lane roads? in neighborhoods? on pedestrian trails? in parks? Why is it that they feel the need to compete with SUVs and minivans on major thoroughfares? You know who's going to win in that situation...

And don't let me even get started on parents with children in restaurants who get so distracted with their conversation that they become completely oblivious to their child's rowdy and inappropriate behavior. God, I sound old.

What did we do?

Thought I'd give you a review of our vacation at the beach.

It was raining lightly and was very humid when we left Tuesday night around 9:30 so we had the top up on the car. However, when we stopped near the Bay Bridge to get a bottle of water (I was dying of thirst) it had stopped raining and the humidity level was not bad, so we put the top down and drove the rest of the way. We arrived a a little after midnight.

Wednesday it rained almost all day, but we had errands to run so we weren't bothered by missing a day at the beach. We went to the grocery store, the most fabulous Dollar store, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Lowes, and the video store. We had dinner at Fish On, a top-notch restaurant in Lewes. It has a tall, open ceiling with exposed ducts, all painted black. Its sleek and has a New York City Bistro feel. Joe had seared scallops with bits of prosciutto and asparagus. I had pasta with cream and wild mushrooms. De-lish! We watched "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" which was cute. Its about an ever-attentive wife who gets dumped by her successful attorney husband, for another woman. The wife gains support and wisdom from her grandmother and rebuilds her life. We also watched "Be Cool", the sequel to "Get Shorty" which I never saw. Be Cool was okay. Travolta and Thurman do have chemistry, but the plot was weak. Two record industry people (Travolta and Thurman) try to launch a professional career for a young, talented singer, while simultaneously outsmarting the 'music industry mafia'. Yeah, you read that right.

Thursday the weather was beautiful so we went to the beach in the Cape Henlopen state park. The breeze was coming from the west (off the land) and brought a bazillion flies with it. Joe got bit many times on his feet, ankles, and shins. For some reason they didn't bite me. Perhaps I didn't have the same beguiling aroma that Joe did. We did use different sunscreen. In the late afternoon Joe took a nap and I went rollerblading in the park. Fun! We had dinner at Celsius in downtown Rehoboth. The walls were textured stucco with floor-to-ceiling murals of Tuscany painted on them. Joe & I both had Key Lime Pie Martinis that came with a fake ice cube with a battery-powered light in it. The martinis glowed! Joe wasn't crazy about the taste so I drank mine and the other half of his. We both had puntanesca. Joe wasn't crazy about it but I liked it enough to take home the left-overs, which I ate for lunch later in the week. After dinner we went for a walk on the boardwalk, then watched "White Noise" which was pretty good. A man finds that he can receive messages from his recently deceased wife in the 'white noise' of a steadily running video camera.

Friday was overcast so we did a little antique-looking. I was surprised how much stuff just sits in those shops. I recognized merchandise I'd seen at least 3 years ago. Joe took a nap and I did a lot of reading, mostly Letters From Camp Rehoboth and the Washington Blade. We watched "My Mother Likes Women", a film that showed in last November's RB Indy Film Festival but I didn't get to see it. A divorced woman introduces her much-younger girlfriend to her adult daughters who are not aware that their mother is a lesbian. We both enjoyed it a lot. Then Kerry, Hugh, Ana, Emely, Javier, and Aaron arrived shortly after midnight.

Saturday was overcast so we all hung out together at the house, talking, laughing, and catching up on things. Around 3pm the sun had come out so we all went to the beach for a few hours. It was beautiful. We ordered cheese steaks from Casapullas and Hugh & I brought them back to the house for dinner. We watched "The Jacket". That movie needed a shot of adrenaline because it took too long to get going. But we enjoyed the concept of the movie. A Gulf war veteran with amnesia is subjected to experimental drug treatment that causes him to slide 15 years into the future. Each time he does, he collects information he wouldn't otherwise know and brings it back to the present.

Sunday the gang headed back to the beach in the park, but were turned away along with many others because the park was at maximum capacity! That's never happened to us before, even on holiday weekends. So we headed over to the community pool in our neighborhood and enjoyed a gorgeous day there. We ordered Grotto pizzas to be delivered for dinner, then the group watched "Pirates of the Caribbean" which I had no desire to watch, so I read for a little while and then fell asleep.

Monday we spent the day at the pool again, thinking the park would probably be packed again. The pool was very nice, and we talked with a few neighbors who are from the Northern Neck of VA where Kerry & Hugh's log house is located. Small world! A friend/co-worker of Kerry's came over with several family members and we had a 4th of July cookout followed by sparklers. After the guests left, the gang watched "The Return of the Pink Panther" which I did not want to watch, so I read and fell asleep again.

Tuesday we had a lazy morning, sitting around talking and playing a movie game until noon. We ate left-overs for lunch and then headed over to the pool again. The plan was to clean up the house, pack and leave at 5pm. But Ana's truck had some mechanical problems which Hugh was able to fix, but delayed our departure until 7:30. We drove home with the top down most of the way, until it looked like it was going to rain.

Despite having just returned from the beach Tuesday night, we are heading back up there in a few minutes. The weather is looking good, and it's summer, so we're heading back to the beach. Our plan is to come home early in the afternoon on Sunday though, so we can get some things done around the house.

I hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July.

I'm back...

I'm back from vacation. Might I say that it was well-deserved, too. Work has been (and still is) so hectic and stressful that I truly needed this vacation. I had seven (count 'em) seven days away from work, at the beach.

The weather was mostly good. There was rain one day, and one and a half days where it was cloudy, but we didn't care. It was just great to get away and be near the ocean.

But then came the dreaded part of every vacation: the end. Wednesday I was really, REALLY dreading going in to work. I knew what was waiting for me: the end of the billing period, which when translated into layman's terms means that I not only get to do the two full-time jobs that I already have, but I get to do another part-time job on top of that - supposedly all within the same 8 hour days. But this time I decided that I was going to try to keep my calm, cool, collected, and stress-free mindset despite the chaos and unreasonable demands placed upon me by people who don't know the half of what I do.

But it takes its toll. Yesterday and today I've come home tired; really tired. Yesterday I developed an annoying and painful headache, which is unusual for me. But fortunately I slept well last night.

Maybe in a day or so I'll write more about the vacation, but for now, I'm going to join my husband on the couch for a little mindless TV and then hit the sack.

More later.

Offline

Tonight Joe & I are leaving for a week's vacation at the beach where I do not expect to have access to a computer, so I will be 'offline' for the next week. Although I will miss blogging and reading the blogs of my blogger buddies, we will definitely enjoy a week to rest up and enjoy the beach. We'll be back on Tuesday 7/5. Hang in there!

Some random thoughts to share

1. I picked up this cool photo display board for a buck at a yard sale. The background is covered in this funky martini fabric so I decided to go through my photos and pick out ones of people with cocktails to put on the photo display board. Cool idea, right? That's what I thought. Oh my god... I took a serious trip down memory lane. There were photos of our cat Pouncer when he was a tiny kitten, there were photos of mine & Joe's first Christmas tree, there were photos of every Thanksgiving (hosted at our house) for the last 9 years, there were photos of us fixing up our first house 8 1/2 years ago, and there were photos of various vacations. THEN I got to the box with the really old photos, like my high school graduation (23 years ago), photos of school trips, photos of "Dominants" performances... it was too much! I had forgotten how fun it can be to look back at old photos.

2. Can I say just how SICK I am of hearing about that damn Natalie Holloway from Alabama, who disappeared while on a school trip to Aruba? You'd think they were looking for Osama Bin Laden with all the searchers and press coverage. And why her? I'm sure there are hundreds if not thousands of kids who go missing every day. Why so much attention on this one girl? Why have thousands of people searching for this one girl, when they should be assigned to some of the other 'missing kids' cases out there. I just don't get it.

3. When did it happen? When did parents stop being in control and the children take over? Why do kids have so many choices now? While standing in line at a self-serve ice cream machine, I was tormented by the following conversation:
Mom: Dylan, do you want it in a cup or on a cone?
Dylan ignores her and continues to dance and sing.
Mom: Dylan, do you want your ice cream in a cup or on a cone?
Dylan continues ignoring her, so she repeats this 2 or 3 more times. Finally Dylan says a cup.
Mom: Do you want cookie crumbles on top?
Dylan is now on verse two of his song.
Mom: Dylan, do you want cookie crumbles on top?
Dylan still isn't paying attention, so she asks him several more times. All the while, the line is not moving because this mother is attempting to cater to a kid who just doesn't care. I was tempted to tell the woman that perhaps she should come back to the ice cream machine after she'd collected Dylan's full order, but decided against it since Dylan was getting to the end of his song.

Then, another time I overheard a parent "negotiating" with a 3 year old.
Mom: Now, if I give you a cookie, are you going to get in your booster seat? Do you want the chocolate chip cookie or the peanut butter cookie? No, I'm sorry, I don't have any candy bars, just cookies. Now, if I give you a cookie, will you get in your booster seat?
You can't negotiate with a 3 year old. They don't understand that. You are the parent so it is your job to make decisions for your child. It's no wonder lots of kids don't know what to do when they graduate from high school. They can't make a decision because they're already exhausted from all the decisions they've had to make while trying to grow up!

Then there was Shannon and her mom in the booth across from us. About 700 times the mom said "Shannon, turn around and eat your chicken." I noticed she always called the little girl Shannon, and never Sweetie, Pumpkin, or any other affectionate term. It's like she was babysitting someone else's child, only this was her child. (She referred to herself as "Mommy" to Shannon once.) It was weird how disconnected this mother was from her daughter.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love kids... especially with hot fudge! ;-)

4. Happy birthday to my blogger buddy Billy! Keep saying "I love you"!!!

5. June is Gay Pride month. Happy gay pride everybody.