Me: Was that your mom on the phone? What's she up to?
Spouse: Yeah. Not much; she's going to the movies tomorrow.
Me: What's she going to see, Fifty Shades of Grey?
This made us both laugh because Spouse's mother is an 85 year old Italian Catholic woman who calls any movie with an 'R' rating a "dirty movie". Even if she wanted to see it, she'd be too afraid someone from church would see her there.
Spouse: No, she's going to see The Theory of Everything with her new friend Beverly. They met a church on Share Sunday.
Me: Cher Sunday??? Is that when everyone wears feather headresses and sequined Bob Mackie knock-offs to church???
We both cracked up laughing, picturing THIS woman...
dressed like THIS woman...
Spouse: You are insane, you know that?? (Still laughing)
Oh, but I wasn't finished. In my very best Jack McFarland imitating Cher voice I began singing: "Praise Christ from whom all blessings flow..." complete with Cher's signature 'fall off' treatment on the word 'flow'. I could barely finish this before collapsing into complete hysterics!
When I managed to pull myself together I continued imitating Cher's speech:
"Come on Chaz, let's go to church! Its mother f*ckin' Cher Sunday for Chrissake!!"
More uncontrollable laughter!!
Spouse: You need professional psychological help.
Me: Laughter's the best medicine!