Monday, February 09, 2015

Mood indigo

My weekend was kind of backwards.  Typically I work on Saturdays and am off (most) Sundays, but this weekend I was inexplicably scheduled off on Sat and scheduled to be in the office on Sun.

Although off Sat I did actually meet with a client and showed her 2 townhomes between 10-11:30, then headed home.  I was hoping Spouse & I could take advantage of this oddity of my schedule and do something fun or different, but didn't care for any of my ideas for things to do during the day.

I suggested that we might check out a comedy show that night that my clients had earnestly recommended.  "They said it was hilarious" I told him.  He countered back by asking if they were old, white, straight people.  I confirmed they were indeed all of the above, to which he said "no thanks".

That's when it started.

I said "You know, days like this make me frustrated.  I'm off on a Sat and I suggest we do something fun or different but you don't want to.  I suggest a comedy show that comes highly recommended, but you don't want to.  In fact, nearly every time I suggest things to do, you don't want to.  You never want to do anything other than eat out and watch TV."

"We went to the movies Fri night!" he countered.  "Yes, because I told you I wanted to see that movie about 2 dozen times before it even came out.  And when was the last time we went to the movies prior to that?"

Silence.

"I've suggested trying out Furst Friday, happy hour, karaoke night, concerts, plays, and you reject them all.  You bailed on me for Deb's birthday party and for Tim & Randy's holiday party, so I ended up going alone.  Staying home and watching TV is fine sometimes, but I don't want to forgo all social activities to do that."

"Fine.  I don't care anymore" he responded.

"What does that mean?  You don't care about what?"

Silence.  He was finished listening and talking.  The discussion was over.  He shut down.

While 'opposites' may 'attract', they don't necessarily cooperate or compromise.  I guess I have been feeling lately that I am the only one doing any cooperating or compromising.  

So we left each other alone for the rest of the day to languish in our mood indigo.  Around 6pm Steve texted to see if we wanted to go out to dinner, so we did.  

I knew Spouse would get over his anger with me, and I would get over my frustration with him.  But those things needed to be said.  I needed him to know how I am feeling, that I'm not satisfied to sit at home every night.  I want to try new things.  Maybe they'll be great fun and maybe they'll be duds, but at least we got out there and tried them.

2 comments:

anne marie in philly said...

marriage isn't easy. I hope spouse and you can come to an understanding about going out.

love you both!

Bob Slatten said...

Any time you don't say what's on your mind, it festers and grows until there's an explosion.
That happens with Carlos sometimes because he won't always speak his mind.
I, on the other hand, am always telling him exactly how I feel so there is rarely an explosion from me.
Opposites!
But, as I tell him, I'll take being pissed off at him for ten minutes over not having him in my life at all.