Hump day funnies

I'm in training all day today but I prepared this post in advance for your viewing and laughing pleasure.

Check out these actual newspaper clippings! Click on each to enlarge them.
I don't know about you, but I HATE having to put on my good sweatpants to go to the Walmart.

It may be a long shot, but you never know!

Wha???

"Used once only"??? For storing brains perhaps?

My guess is that this involves significant doses of controlled substances.

Hmm, I know a few that are really cheap!

EEEWWW!!!

That's the oldest trick in the police book!

Basically the duck said "Duck you!!"

I can understand why the parents would be nervous if it was Arnold as The Terminator.

Don't all of us have a crack in our behind?

No kidding! What next, donuts at the bakery???

Because its just so tempting without the reminder.

Shocking!

Typical governmental bureaucracy.

Ooooops.

Is that even possible?

What will the Feds say next? People need air?

I can't imagine what would have prompted a call about a "suspicious coin".

Pretty successful camo paint!

Really???

Next week the writer will be on "Are You Smarter Than a Third Grader?"

I would imagine so. Probably not a lot of teen pregnancy after age 20 either.

Not surprising. Lots of men do.

How do you decide?

Crush du Jour: Ryan Matthew White

Hittin' the road

Well, I'm off on another road trip to Richmond. Our company is planning a major product update so everyone's coming in for training on Wednesday. Should be an interesting day!

Crush du Jour: Valerie Yukov-Yan

Weekend highlights

As usual, Sat morning Spouse went to his personal trainer appointment and I had coffee and enjoyed several back-to-back episodes of "Sell This House". Once Spouse returned home and showered, we headed out to run some errands, have lunch, and drive by the beach. It was in the low 80s and lots of folks were out on the beach in the swimsuits. I wanted to be one of them! After returning home Spouse took a nap while I cleaned loaded/ran the dishwasher, emptied the recycling, and took the PT Cruiser for an oil change. When I returned home I decided to wash the PT Cruiser and the SLK. It was a bit challenging since our spray nozzle broke and I couldn't get it off of the hose. That evening we met up with Steven & Thad, Thad's sister Robin, and Aurelio for dinner at the Miltonian Pizzeria & Wing House before heading over to the Milton Theatre to see the documentary "The Art of the Steal". It was very interesting!

On Sun we picked up Rick & Nick and went to Sam's club. Spouse & I don't have a membership but Rick & Nick do, so sometimes we go with them. We had several things in mind to look at but didn't buy much. Later that evening we went to Steven & Thad's for dinner. We brought salad and bread because Steven made one of Spouse's favorites: baked rigatoni with meatballs and sausage. It was de-lish! Afterward we hung out and talked and laughed a lot. We had a very nice time.

Crush du Jour: Manny Rios

Friday fragments

Welcome to Friday fragments, my weekly recap of topics too big to forget, yet too small to be their own post.

Work has been crazy-busy this week. I've worked through lunch and past 5:00 too many days. So unfortunately I have not been collecting tidbits to share in Friday fragments. Sorry to disappoint, but hopefully the fact that I'm still providing you with a Crush du Jour will help to make up for it.

Crush du Jour: David Gregory

"If I had a hammer...

...I'd hammer in the mornin." And hammer I did!!

Yesterday I volunteered at a Habitat for Humanity homesite. My job was to hammer 4' x 8' sheets of styrofoam insulation board to the exterior of a 2-story duplex. So I did a LOT of hammering. It was hard work but a lot of fun too.

The weather was great; in the low 80s and sunny. I worked in the shade for 1/2 the day, which was nice.

Surprisingly I was the only 1st time volunteer at the site. The other 7 volunteers seemed to be 'regulars' who have worked on several HFH sites over the last year or so. By looking at them they appear to be retired. I really admire these men for spending a day every week doing this kind of volunteer work.

A great thing about volunteering for HFH is that you don't have to have construction skills or experience. The site coordinator or other volunteers will teach you how to do the work. They were also adequately concerned with safety and volunteers' comfort. Since shingling the roof was also on the day's agenda, I was asked how I felt about heights. I responded that I wasn't afraid of heights, but was afraid of falling. So I was not selected to shingle the roof, but I did have to climb a ladder and skaffolding several times to nail the insulation board to the upper section of the house. I felt uneasy when I had to lean off the side of the ladder, but also felt like my discomfort was for a good purpose. I was doing something that contributed to a new, modest home for someone needy.

I encourage everyone to consider spending a day volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. You'll be glad you did.

Crush du Jour: Roger Paiva

Cinco de Mayo

Hey everybody! Today is Cinco de Mayo!!!
So forget about the left-overs you were going to have for dinner tonight, and head on over to your local Mexican restaurant for something muy sabroso!
And while you're at it, why not enjoy some Coronas...
margaritas...
Dos Equis...
or Tequila shots!
Please celebrate responsibly and ride home with a designated driver, take public transportation, or take a cab.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo!!!

Crush du Jour: Brett Fahlgren

Its about time

This month, IN THE LIFE explores what it means to grow old as a gay person in America – how a generation once at the frontlines of establishing the modern LGBT movement finds, in what should be their golden years, new challenges living life openly gay. IT’S ABOUT TIME highlights the leaders spearheading a national effort to protect the rights of LGBT senior citizens and care for our elders.

AGING IN A SAFE ENVIRONMENT
According to The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, over 3 million LBGT people are over age 65. While seniors are protected against age-based discrimination by “The Older Americans’ Act,” the lack of LGBT specific protections can drive our pioneers back into the closet when entering long-term care facilities. Disturbed by this trend, some activists and visionaries have taken matters into their own hands by creating safe spaces for our elders.

A CONVERSATION WITH… Jennie Chin Hansen and Michael Adams
AARP President Jennie Chin Hansen and SAGE (Services & Advocacy for GLBT Elders) Executive Director Michael Adams discuss the unique needs of LGBT seniors, and how their organizations build constituencies and communities dedicated to advocating for elders’ rights and quality of life.

REEL TO REEL: Edie and Thea; A Very Long Engagement
After a 42-year courtship, Edie and Thea are finally getting married. This tender documentary memorializes a life-long romance set against a backdrop of cultural change. Directed by Gréta Olafsdóttir and Susan Muska (The Brandon Teena Story), the film draws on a wealth of photographs, creating a touching mosaic of these two women’s lives—a tribute to the enduring power of love.

It’s About Time will begin airing May 1st. To watch a video preview click here. To find out when it airs in your local area, to stream or download it, go to the IN THE LIFE website.

Crush du Jour: Charlie Vargas

Weekend highlights

Wow, what a weekend!

We arrived at Spouse's mom's house in VA about 9:00 Fri night. Shortly thereafter 2 of Spouse's (deadbeat) brothers arrived and stirred up a bunch of family drama. There was plenty I wanted to say but decided to keep my mouth shut since none of the drama directly involved me or Spouse. Sat morning Spouse & I took his mom with us to our favorite store Home Goods, and then we had lunch. Spouse's sister and daughter came over for a brief visit, and then Spouse & I got ready for my cousin's daughter Sarah's wedding.

It was close to 90 degrees and the wedding was outdoor (in my cousin's beautiful back yard) so we were thankful that the ceremony was very short. The reception was in a community center that used to be an old schoolhouse. It was simple but elegant and beautiful. Spouse & I really had a wonderful time, and enjoyed meeting some new people like Eric & Suzanna:

who are friends of my cousin Inez, the mother of the bride, and Steve her husband. What a surprise to find that Eric was raised in a small town in DE! Here is me and my cousin Inez:

Spouse thinks she and I look a lot alike but I don't see it. It was especially nice for me to be able to reconnect with several of my family I haven't seen in many years. Here's me and my cousin April, Inez's sister:

and me with April's daughters Micah and Chelsea:

The last time I saw these young women was 14 years ago when Micah (left) was 9 and Chelsea (right) was 11. And below are my cousin Inez (mother of bride), my aunt Rosie (grandmother of the bride), me & Spouse.

Scattered around the reception room were many framed photos of the bride and groom, which I thought was a nice touch. Also, on the wall near the entrance/exit there were bulletin boards with several copies of a dozen or so photos of the couple, with a sign indicating guests were to take home which ever photos they wanted. And speaking of photos, in the foyer there was a treasure chest full of funky hats, leis, sun glasses and props. A photographer encouraged everyone to put on something crazy and pose for a wacky photo. Spouse put on a shiny red patent leather floppy brim hat and I put on a bright pink fur hat, we posed with our backs to each, giving the photographer our best 'pimp' look! The photographer will place all the photos into a special album for the couple. I loved this idea!!

Here are Sarah and Bryan being toasted, just before cutting the wedding cake:

Since the wedding colors were black and white, I wore off-white pants with a black shirt with white polka dots and Spouse wore the opposite: black pants and a white shirt with black polka dots. It sounds super-gay, I know, but I think we looked really nice. Click to enlarge this photo to get a better look at our polka dots.

Sarah's new husband Bryan got 'welcomed' into the family with a hilarious skit performed by Sarah's parents and siblings to the song "Welcome to the Family".

The lyrics are almost as funny as the skit!

Sun after breakfast we took Spouse's mom to Target and then relaxed for a while. At 3:00 we met up with Spouse's sister and her family, Spouse's brother (not a deadbeat) and his wife, and 1 of Spouse's deadbeat brothers at Taco House for an early Mother's Day dinner. (We will not be with his mom on Mother's Day.) Our food was wonderful as always, but it was very warm and humid on Sun and the a/c at Taco House was broken! They had the door open to allow a breeze to come in and set up a fan while someone worked on the a/c unit. We had a nice time despite the heat. We all returned to Spouse's mother's house and visited for a while, then Spouse & I left at 6:00, arriving home at 8:30.

Crush du Jour: Burack Ozcivit