Monday, January 26, 2009

Economy stimulus explained

A friend sent me this and I got a chuckle out of it. Enjoy!

This year, taxpayers will receive an Economic Stimulus Payment. This is a very exciting new program that has been explained using the Q and A format.

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
A. Shut up.

Here is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely.
  • If you spend your stimulus check at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.
  • If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.
  • If you purchase a computer it will go to India.
  • If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).
  • If you buy a car it will go to Japan.
  • If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

None of that will help stimulate the American economy. We need to keep that money here in America. You can do that by:

  • spending it at yard sales
  • going to a baseball game
  • spending it on prostitutes
  • spending it on beer and wine (domestic only)
  • getting a tattoo

Those are the only businesses still in the US.

Crush du Jour: Peter Miller

A friend sent me this and I got a chuckle out of it. Enjoy!

6 comments:

A Lewis said...

That is the funniest thing I've read all day. Thanks for making me giggle (in spite of it being entirely true!).

Bob said...

So, I don't get the HDTV?

All I get is drinking with a prositute at a yard sale?

Oh dear.

mistress maddie said...

This is funny as hell. True,but funny!

RAD said...

best post of the day! BRAVO!! and sorry but Peter is no crush for me---well I need to see him with less clothing that may help...he he he

Joy said...

Yes, true but funny.

On a serious note, I wish they'd spend the money on the infrastructure which will provide jobs and really help us. Those checks won't.

Steven said...

Funny but a sad fact at the same time. It seems like only yesterday I remember seeing Wal-Mart commercials where they touted everything they sell is "Made in the U.S.A." with their trucks' trailers traveling the highways emblazened with a "Made in the USA" logo.